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Girlfriend dumping me because i dont have time for her!!! watch

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    (Original post by That 2Fase)
    I find it really strange and frankly annoying how people can be so blind to this. THE DUDE IS WORKING 30 HOURS PER WEEK AND REVISING FOR EXAMS!!!! And then you get told that you're bad at managing your time and that you don't care about your girlfriend! Hahahaha, I give up. Why can't women be independent and mature? Why do they demand their partners to abandon their commitments and spend all their time on them? Madness! Where have all the independent women disappeared off to
    You are making that sound like it is unusual, 30 hours working + full time study, isn't that hard. Probably equates to a full working week. Many students do this.I've done a 7am wakeup to uni finish at 12:30 pm, work at 2 pm and finish at of 1 am (Mon-Fri) for 3 months. Got to spend lunchtime with my girlfriend and weekends with her. It was tiring yeah but his schedule is extremely far from this. His schedule looks pretty lightweight.
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    (Original post by That 2Fase)
    I find it really strange and frankly annoying how people can be so blind to this. THE DUDE IS WORKING 30 HOURS PER WEEK AND REVISING FOR EXAMS!!!! And then you get told that you're bad at managing your time and that you don't care about your girlfriend! Hahahaha, I give up. Why can't women be independent and mature? Why do they demand their partners to abandon their commitments and spend all their time on them? Madness! Where have all the independent women disappeared off to
    Yeah true, thank you. You understand my predicament exactly.
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    (Original post by ron_trns)
    You are making that sound like it is unusual, 30 hours working + full time study, isn't that hard. Probably equates to a full working week. Many students do this.I've done a 7am wakeup to uni finish at 12:30 pm, work at 2 pm and finish at of 1 am (Mon-Fri) for 3 months. Got to spend lunchtime with my girlfriend and weekends with her. It was tiring yeah but his schedule is extremely far from this. His schedule looks pretty lightweight.
    its 30hrs a week, one full time study and one part time study.
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    (Original post by Hyacinth Bucket)
    I do so agree.
    I cannot abide by people who miss out words in their sentences.
    I cannot abide people who include superfluous ones
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    Everyone seems so focused on trying to blame someone. OP, why not talk to your girlfriend about how your situation isn't forever. If it's a stable relationship, it should be able to survive some time with reduced contact. That contact doesn't just have to be in person either, you could text more or phone each other on the way home etc. You've been together for 2 years, it's not an ideal situation, but if your relationship can't survive a period of focusing on important individual demands, and supporting each other through that, then maybe your relationship isn't very strong to begin with.*

    * There seems to be an argument through the thread that one hour is enough and it's needy to want more vs. one hour is not enough and it's normal to want more. It is normal to want more, but if there's little opportunity to see each other more then deal with the situation or break up.
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    (Original post by That 2Fase)
    When you demand someone's time while knowing that they're always busy, that's selfish. When you make someone feel as if they've done something wrong if they don't spend time with you despite them being too busy, then that's also selfish. She wants him to abandon and neglect his other commitments and focus his attention on her and she gets upset when he doesn't - childish and selfish. She's absolutely self-centred, not because she wants him to spend more time with her but because she's getting upset with him because he refused to abandon his work and studies and spend time with her. A full grown independent woman with a job would never do that. This girl has no understanding of commitments. That's an alien concept to her.

    It's not about her wanting to see him more. It's about her complaining and getting upset that he doesn't spend more time with her while COMPLETELY ignoring the fact that he works, studies and revises throughout the entire week. She thinks she's more important than his work and studies, so clearly she's childish and silly and doesn't understand anything about how life works. Needs to grow up.
    Some of your points are true and I cannot relate to working full time and studying full time too, however the way I see it is if both people are on different pages, then it may be difficult to sustain such a relationship.

    My boyfriend works full time flexible hours, works in a bar in the evenings and also plays in a band, so he has a lot of committments but always has time to see me too.

    It's all about compromising. You can point the finger and say that his girlfriend is childish, selfish etc - you don't know her and neither do I. We don't know OP either. We don't know how much work he can take on, only he knows this.

    If a compromise isn't in place by both OP and his girlfriend that'll suit both of them, then essentially it won't work.
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    Maybe you need to set some time aside each week to spend with each other? And communicate with each other, seriously!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been dating her for two years now and i really like her, my first long term relationship. However i started uni this year and my life has become extremely busy. I go uni 3 days a week, work 3 days a week and im doing some extra exams to get an accreditation for something. As a result i have hardly anytime to see her, i see her once a week for 1/2 hrs max maybe. She has been complaining ever since and she kind of insinuated yesterday that we should breakup. Its the last thing i want to do but do you think its inevitable?, As much as i like her, I cant stop working or going uni for her.
    >has no time to see his girlfriend
    >has time to ****post on tsr
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    (Original post by That 2Fase)
    I agree with you completely. How dare he work 30 hours a week to support his family instead of choosing to spend those 30 hours seeing his girlfriend? How dare he spend time revising for tough exams instead of spending that time chilling out with his girlfriend. And if that wasn't enough, he has the nerve to spend 3 days per week attending university instead of skiving off and hanging out with his girlfriend. How dare he?? He's a terrible boyfriend, clearly he doesn't care about his girlfriend. If he truly cared about his girlfriend, he'd quit university and become unemployed so that he can spend all his time with his girlfriend. That's the only way to be a good boyfriend.
    I have no idea how you got any of this rubbish from my post. The point was that it is perfectly possible to be studying, working full time and have time for a partner - like myself. It's about time management.
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    You deserve better than that, she should be thankful you make the effort to see her. Me and my Girlfriend go weeks without seeing each other but she is very understanding.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ive been dating her for two years now and i really like her, my first long term relationship. However i started uni this year and my life has become extremely busy. I go uni 3 days a week, work 3 days a week and im doing some extra exams to get an accreditation for something. As a result i have hardly anytime to see her, i see her once a week for 1/2 hrs max maybe. She has been complaining ever since and she kind of insinuated yesterday that we should breakup. Its the last thing i want to do but do you think its inevitable?, As much as i like her, I cant stop working or going uni for her.
    Your future is more important than betches, ditch her, better to say you did the dumping and not her
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont think you know how hard it is to study for ACCA exams while doing a degree, i have always been good at managing my time. In addition working 30 hours to support my family and myself.
    Well something has to give then doesn't it and it sounds like you've made up your mind that it's your girlfriend. Do you really expect a relationship to last if you only have an hour a week for her? I completely understand that some people see their partners less than others, and some people have less time to give - but an hour or two a week is unreasonable. And my view on that doesn't matter, SHE obviously thinks that is unreasonable and that's the opinion that really counts. If you want to stay with her, you will have to manage your time better and make time for her or something else has to give. It sounds like you don't have the time for a girlfriend and it's actually quite selfish of you to expect anyone to be happy seeing a partner one hour a week, especially if this is not how often you saw her before e.g. if you had originally only had 1 hour for her and she knew this, that would be different. From the sounds of it the time you have for her has decreased and it's reasonable for her to no longer be happy with that situation.
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    1 hour per week is pathetic, at the same time, if she doesn't believe in you there can be no relationship so cut her off like K camp
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    This is why you don't have a relationship, whilst being in education. People feel like they are the most important and stir up scenarios to make life more hell. Understanding is another element, besides friendship that is missing in most of the relationships.
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    (Original post by scrotgrot)
    I cannot abide people who include superfluous ones
    Spoiler:
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    I was hoping someone would notice that.
    Took long enough!
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    an hour a week i would dump you. also after 2 years surely you should love her rather than really like her.

    also this is coming from someone in a long distance relationship who sees her partner no more than every 2 months! you are making no time for her and are very inconsiderate. pretty much everyone i know with similar or MORE workload than you makes plenty of time for their other half... because that's what you do when you care about them and want a relationship with them!
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    Look, neither of you is all right nor all wrong. Yes, you sound very busy but yes, 1/2 hr a week for seeing her is simply not enough especially if you live a relatively short distance from each other. You have been in a relationship for 2 years....it is comfortable.....it clearly doesn't require much effort....but, you are now in a different place in your life since you started uni. Rightfully so, you are wanting to focus on your education and you need to work. She remembers the days when she was able to spend more than just a 1/2 hr/wk with you. This is normal that even after two years together your lives can still grow apart and take different directions. Just because this has been the right relationship for you for the past two years doesn't mean its the right relationship for you (or her) now. The simple truth is youmake time to do the things that are important to you. Whether intended or not the message you are sending your girlfriend is that she isn't more important than 1/2 hr a week out of your schedule. You don't mention how much you text or speak on the phone which is important if you can't actually have time to spend together. If your schedule absolutely won't allow more than 1/2 hr per week then you need to have a serious discussion with your gf because she is communicating w/ you that 1/2 hr just isn't enough for her. Her needs count too - she's not being selfish, that is her need. If you can't reach a compromise that works for both of you then perhaps you need to consider breaking up so you can, w/out guilt, focus on what is important, at this point, to you and she can find a relationship where the guy is able to be more present in her life.
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    (Original post by That 2Fase)
    I agree with you completely. How dare he work 30 hours a week to support his family instead of choosing to spend those 30 hours seeing his girlfriend? How dare he spend time revising for tough exams instead of spending that time chilling out with his girlfriend. And if that wasn't enough, he has the nerve to spend 3 days per week attending university instead of skiving off and hanging out with his girlfriend. How dare he?? He's a terrible boyfriend, clearly he doesn't care about his girlfriend. If he truly cared about his girlfriend, he'd quit university and become unemployed so that he can spend all his time with his girlfriend. That's the only way to be a good boyfriend.
    You should change your username to 'The Amazing Strawman'.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    an hour a week i would dump you. also after 2 years surely you should love her rather than really like her.

    also this is coming from someone in a long distance relationship who sees her partner no more than every 2 months! you are making no time for her and are very inconsiderate. pretty much everyone i know with similar or MORE workload than you makes plenty of time for their other half... because that's what you do when you care about them and want a relationship with them!
    Thank you! That was my first thought when I read the words ' I really like her ', Its been two years!! OP if you are too busy then maybe it's best you two break up. If she can't appreciate the fact you spare 60 whole minutes out of your busy week, then she doesn't deserve you. Lmao I'm totally being sarcastic here, I think you need to throughly think about how you truly feel about her.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend more time with your partner and I would be doing anything in my power to see my partner regularly. I understand you work and you study, but there are plenty of people in the exact same position. There seems to be a lot of people saying she should be greatful because they don't see their partners for months at a time. Well that is a given when you are in a long distance relationship.I'm pretty sure the folk in LDR's would kill to see their S/O regularly but they have to suck it up and put on a brave face. You on the other hand are lucky to live close to your girlfriend.

    Its all down to you managing your time better. If you feel you don't want to see her at all, let her go.
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    How can you only have time to see her one hour a week?! Like come on.
    Why not study together? Or ear lunch or dinner together? Therefore you won't be 'wasting' your time but will still be spending more time with your girlfriend


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