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would you be upset with this valentines gift? watch

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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    I had this a few years ago. Boyfriend got me a 'thank you' card and pretended it was on purpose and it was an appropriate card. It had a f**king bunny rabbit on the front and loads of flowers like something you would give your grandma.

    He also didn't get me anything.

    I am not materialistic and I don't want a diamond ring or anything but it's just you want a gesture and a bit of effort. Valentine's for the most part is commercialised bullsh*t but it's still a day where couples celebrate the fact they are a couple which is kind of special.

    As for me, i had spent the weeks between xmas and V day buying him loads of cute trinkets and was generally excited. I just felt really deflated when he couldn't even bother to get me a card. I also travelled 3 hours after work and back to see him that night (it was a midweek V day and we were both working full time) and he made me pay for dinner by reminding me that he'd paid for our last meal out. It was just a bit of a :facepalm:
    finally someone who understands!!!
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    i specifically told him that valentines day was a huge thing to me as im a romantic person......i just wanted a love related card tbh..
    and gotta be romantic on this random commercially owned day in February huh?

    But tbf, a card is pretty basic, so I do appreciate your upset especially if you've said it's a day which matters to you.

    I think generally it's something guys only do if their partner has an interest in it. He might do better next year lol.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    and gotta be romantic on this random commercially owned day in February huh?

    But tbf, a card is pretty basic, so I do appreciate your upset especially if you've said it's a day which matters to you.

    I think generally it's something guys only do if their partner has an interest in it. He might do better next year lol.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine not exactly 100% commercial.
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    If I was in your position, I would indeed be happy because the gift after all takes into account your interests.

    I once received nothing but a memory stick from my Valentine's and I had a smile on my face for a week.

    It was our first Valentine's Day and the fact that he bought me a memory stick (which was something that I needed) showed he paid attention.

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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    finally someone who understands!!!
    Lol I feel you doll. Read the edit I put in as well.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Lol I feel you doll. Read the edit I put in as well.
    i have done, thank you for understanding
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    (Original post by kandykissesxox)
    If I was in your position, I would indeed be happy because the gift after all takes into account your interests.

    I once received nothing but a memory stick from my Valentine's and I had a smile on my face for a week.

    It was our first Valentine's Day and the fact that he bought me a memory stick (which was something that I needed) showed he paid attention.

    as ive said earlier, im a romantic person, i only wanted a valentines day related card so that i could keep it for memories (which would have cost less than the gift) and he paid zero attention.
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    (Original post by kandykissesxox)
    If I was in your position, I would indeed be happy because the gift after all takes into account your interests.

    I once received nothing but a memory stick from my Valentine's and I had a smile on my face for a week.

    It was our first Valentine's Day and the fact that he bought me a memory stick (which was something that I needed) showed he paid attention.


    That is the sexiest thing I have ever heard.

    Who needs lingerie?
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine not exactly 100% commercial.
    lol I know about it's origins. I mean my point is you get shops full of the same **** plastered everywhere, I doubt 99% of people know anything about St.Valentine. It's "oi get your woman some of these **** roses or these chocolates in a red box because you can't think for yourself and she expects this stuff". You can buy flowers as an actual surprise any other time of year when their prices aren't massively inflated for desperate chumps.

    (I don't hate the thing by the way, made something myself though)
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    Ive been with my boyfriend a year and this is our first valentines, I got my boyfriend a moonpig card and a book that i personalised all about him from https://thebookofeveryone.com/uk and i got him some lindt chocolates

    he got me a little notebook set: http://www.whsmith.co.uk/products/mi.../9781849942911 which i do appeciate as i study something art based and i love the colouring books by the same brand.

    however i didnt get a card and i didnt get anything valentines related. I know you dont give to receive but i cant help but feel a little sad that he only grabbed me a last minute gift for the sake of having something to give to me.

    am i being selfish? how would you feel if you was in my position?


    You might find this interesting.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwEZ-82Rd-E
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    as ive said earlier, im a romantic person, i only wanted a valentines day related card so that i could keep it for memories (which would have cost less than the gift) and he paid zero attention.

    Sometimes, a person doesn't need to send you a card to confess his love for you. It can be shown in other ways, although I can see where you are coming from. I'm sure he loves you very much and some guys are hopeless when it comes to knowing what a girl wants

    I am a very romantic person myself but I was let's say "over the moon" about my gift. I think it's because I had a lot of feelings for that person that I didn't exactly care what he got me/ how much it cost etc. The point is he did get me something even though he had no obligation to.
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    I thought you were engaged?

    I don't think there was enough effort with the present just on its own, but its a bit more personal than just flowers or chocolates and with a nice card and something else would have been quite thoughtful.
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    If you're upset with your gift how would you feel if your boyfriend of 2 years didn't get you anything for your BIRTHDAY? Because that's what happened to me. Just something to cheer you up
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    Does it have to be an equal exchange?

    Honestly, people view present giving in the complete wrong way in my opinion. I don't give a monkey's if I give a present and don't get one of equal value or effort in return. That's not how presents work. It's a gift. Gift!

    If you never get a gift from your boyfriend, or get crappy ones it could mean something. Maybe he doesn't care much for you. That is a problem. However, the bad gift is just an indication, a symptom, by no means the thing that is bad.

    Does your boyfriend show you affection in other ways? If so, forget that he didn't reach your specific view of "good gift", maybe he's not someone who's good at gifts (god knows I'm not). What really matters is that he gives you a backrub every other night, or cooks for you, or rushes over to spend time with you when your hamster dies.

    When you give a gift you shouldn't be trying to "match" someone else's gift, nor hoping to get one of equal monetary value or effort in return. Just give a gift because you kinda like your boyfriend and want him to be happy.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    You like that because your a lazy zero effort kind of dude probs. You like easy girls that take no effort. I used to be one of those girls you can give me **** on a stick and I'd be like awe. Nope not anymore.

    :shock:

    How dare you make such an assumption about me.
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    You need to talk to him about this. I can see from your posts this has absolutely nothing to do with materialism, you're upset because you went out of your way to tell him valentines day is important to you and you wanted a nice loving card and he didn't even bother to do that.

    These problems won't go away if you don't talk about it, it'll just build up resentment in your relationship over time as he keeps doing the same things over and over.

    I don't know maybe he is just clueless or maybe he is too selfish to care, that is something you'll need to figure out yourself by talking to him. Be sure when talking to him not to get confrontational or too upset/ angry. People don't react well to that and he'll be unlikely to listen to your point of view if he feels attacked.
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    It's the thought that counts. Show some appreciation.
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    (Original post by Justmoll28)
    hmm, christmas i got no card (again) and a bakery book which was cute i guess because i like to bake, but my birthday i got no card (which actually upset me this time because i keep cards for years) and a massive minnie mouse teddy which has nothing to do with anything but he called it cute...for a 19 year old its a little lame..

    i feel like i put in miles more effort than him when it comes to gives and treating each other..
    Why don't you just tell him that you like cards, instead of expecting him to know that
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    I would be upset at the lack of a card because I think cards are great. It is really the thought that counts though, he clearly put in a least a little bit of thought in that he knew you like arty things? You really should tell him that you're upset, or he might have no idea and if you're still together next year then the same thing might happen...:dontknow:
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    I said probs but I bet I'm correct it's ok. It's whatever. Theres someone for everyone ...lazy guys for low standard girls, amazing thoughtful guys for girls who know their worth....

    Ok I'm being extra excuse me.

    If I wasn't an amazing, thoughtful guy I wouldn't have posted a link to that video.

    You would be lucky to get a guy like me.
 
 
 
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