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Should i drop out of uni because i have no friends? watch

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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Change universities? Study abroad?
    I could study abroad.... It's defo in my mind

    But i wonder if (my brain becomes normal) i come back to UK and i wanted to do a PGCE or teacher training, i'm not sure if the international degree would be recogisable
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I could study abroad.... It's defo in my mind

    But i wonder if (my brain becomes normal) i come back to UK and i wanted to do a PGCE or teacher training, i'm not sure if the international degree would be recogisable
    Research into it - before you come to your deciosion good luck xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well i suffer from Social Anxiety and depression so yeah.

    I'm not an alcholic so i won't stop drinking as it helps me cope with this crisis i'm having.

    I just think this the only way out. I achieved my dream of going to uni so perhaps it ends here
    Are you in therapy? If not, I would strongly suggest it. You may also be allowed to leave uni for a year and then come back, so you could use that year to battle your problems. Just doing nothing probably won't help.

    And concerning alcoholism: As soon as you are using alcohol to self-medicate you are on a good way to add an alcohol problem to your current struggles. In addition as you describe you are not a nice person on alcohol. so I don't see, how it helps you anyway.

    Your degree is only one tiny step and you will live years after it. It is more your depression telling you, if you won't have friends now, you won't have them ever, hence no need to work. That is ****. You have still plenty of time to develop social skills, plenty of time to meet friends (I know a whole lot of people, who only made really good friends in their second year, we have currently February, so no need to panic.), plenty of time to have an awesome life. Thus don't make your future life harder, by giving into to the depressive circle, that you can't improve.
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    I can't do it anymore.

    It's reaching breaking point. Went for countryside for 3 hours and that i was the only time i was anxiety-free. Now i'm in the library, drunk and crying. It is not working. I'm heading into rout in the uni
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    Why are you at uni? To **** around with your mates or get a piece of paper at the end of the course?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't do it anymore.

    It's reaching breaking point. Went for countryside for 3 hours and that i was the only time i was anxiety-free. Now i'm in the library, drunk and crying. It is not working. I'm heading into rout in the uni
    Stop drinking.

    Seek counselling.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Nathanielle)
    Are you in therapy? If not, I would strongly suggest it. You may also be allowed to leave uni for a year and then come back, so you could use that year to battle your problems. Just doing nothing probably won't help.

    And concerning alcoholism: As soon as you are using alcohol to self-medicate you are on a good way to add an alcohol problem to your current struggles. In addition as you describe you are not a nice person on alcohol. so I don't see, how it helps you anyway.

    Your degree is only one tiny step and you will live years after it. It is more your depression telling you, if you won't have friends now, you won't have them ever, hence no need to work. That is ****. You have still plenty of time to develop social skills, plenty of time to meet friends (I know a whole lot of people, who only made really good friends in their second year, we have currently February, so no need to panic.), plenty of time to have an awesome life. Thus don't make your future life harder, by giving into to the depressive circle, that you can't improve.
    I've done it all. I tried sectioning myself and they said no.

    The problem is this a four year degree and i can not continue being uni for four more years. I always said university will determine whether 'i'm really social awkward for life' and it has just done that.

    I can't do this. I am a cancer to this university. Nobody says hi to me anymore, They avoid me, walk past me. Only one of my flatmate is sympathetic and is clearly seeing my weakness but won't ****ing say anything. The other flatmates don't care about me. My lecturers don't know me.

    The truth is i'm not sure i will make it. It would be my first time dropping out of a course and quite frankly it would be sad because my options are really nothing. Probably i was just leave the UK and start a new life in another country
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    (Original post by JC.)
    Why are you at uni? To **** around with your mates or get a piece of paper at the end of the course?
    I went to uni test if i'm really a retarded fool like what everyone used to say to me.

    And it has been proven.

    And of all course to achive my dream career but sadly it's time to end it that dream and call it a day.
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    (Original post by jneill)
    Stop drinking.

    Seek counselling.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Why should i stop drinking? how i'm i meant to sleep tonight. With my drunk (possibly adhd) flatmate going to make bizzare noises or brag about how many girls he's ****ing to his mates?

    How can i sleep when my other flatmate ignores me in some of our lectures? How can i sleep when i'm lovesick and i don't know what to do? How can i sleep, knowing i am alone - all by myself in this uni?

    Alcohol helps me but i'm not addicted. I only drink at night at least 4-5 days a week.

    It's hard, i know you're helping me but i have never been this depressed since 2011
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's hard, i know you're helping me but i have never been this depressed since 2011
    And that's why you need to seek professional help.

    Hiding in a bottle is not the answer. Honestly.
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    No you shouldn't, you'll probably only make a few friends that you see after you finish rest you'll forget about.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please

    Is it time for me to leave uni. I've been in Uni since September and to be honest, the experience has been a tragedy to say the least. Socialising is very autistic and i fear people will see me as weakbecause i have no friends in the uni.

    It's also very embarassing to be alone if you live in halls but no one hollas at you or flatmates don't give a **** about you.

    I can't really do this. Next year is planned very well to end this depressive cycle but i can't continue for another 3 months. I will be commuting from April but even this isn't going to help my situation. If i do want to drop out, i want to do some youth work abroad (paid) or perhaps pay attention to my christianity and do missionary work...

    I also don't really want to go back to my house as i don't get along with my family. Help me what should i do
    lol that was the funniest thing I have read today

    Anyway, don't drop out unless you don't want the degree, just try and join some societies or sports clubs to get to know more people so you can try and get more friends. Also, I'd definitely encourage you to focus on God and pray that he can help you overcome any fears opt out have of socialising. Also, I'd probably recommend the missionary work over the youth work as it is more fulfilling and, ultimately, you are making a bigger impact on people's lives for the better by helping them reach faith in Christ and be saved.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please

    Is it time for me to leave uni. I've been in Uni since September and to be honest, the experience has been a tragedy to say the least. Socialising is very autistic and i fear people will see me as weakbecause i have no friends in the uni.

    It's also very embarassing to be alone if you live in halls but no one hollas at you or flatmates don't give a **** about you.

    I can't really do this. Next year is planned very well to end this depressive cycle but i can't continue for another 3 months. I will be commuting from April but even this isn't going to help my situation. If i do want to drop out, i want to do some youth work abroad (paid) or perhaps pay attention to my christianity and do missionary work...

    I also don't really want to go back to my house as i don't get along with my family. Help me what should i do

    I was in the same position as you 2 years ago I started uni and made no friends I ended up leaving and was really depressed over it but leaving does not change a thing you went to uni to better yourself and get a degree so you can get good job I know it's hard but trust me leaving was not worth it I left and regretted it later on now I am planning on going a different university this september.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was in the same position as you 2 years ago I started uni and made no friends I ended up leaving and was really depressed over it but leaving does not change a thing you went to uni to better yourself and get a degree so you can get good job I know it's hard but trust me leaving was not worth it I left and regretted it later on now I am planning on going a different university this september.
    I know. This is what i most of the time think, leaving would make the situation worse (in terms of finance)

    Honest to God, I just wish i was popular. It's just wrong, i doubt i'm coming back next year as i'm not even focussed on the assignments
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I went to uni test if i'm really a retarded fool like what everyone used to say to me.

    And it has been proven.

    And of all course to achive my dream career but sadly it's time to end it that dream and call it a day.
    Fair enough.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please

    Is it time for me to leave uni. I've been in Uni since September and to be honest, the experience has been a tragedy to say the least. Socialising is very autistic and i fear people will see me as weakbecause i have no friends in the uni.

    It's also very embarassing to be alone if you live in halls but no one hollas at you or flatmates don't give a **** about you.

    I can't really do this. Next year is planned very well to end this depressive cycle but i can't continue for another 3 months. I will be commuting from April but even this isn't going to help my situation. If i do want to drop out, i want to do some youth work abroad (paid) or perhaps pay attention to my christianity and do missionary work...

    I also don't really want to go back to my house as i don't get along with my family. Help me what should i do
    I know how that feels. I had no friends up until I was in my 2nd year. It was depressing. But at the end of the day, I told myself that I'm not in college and studying engineering because I need to socialize (which i told myself a ridiculous idea). I'm in college because I want to learn. But then, by the start of 2nd semester that school year, I joined CU Engineering Society. I met a lot of awesome people there. I didn't even made any efforts for they approached me enthusiastically. Since then, they become my brothers and sisters.

    I think you should do that. Join a society or an organization of your interest.


    Or another suggestion of mine is that, you should maybe try studying abroad with your curriculum and meet other people abroad?? I heard students who study abroad make friends with the locals in the country they study in. Idk lol. but I hope my suggestions help
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why should i stop drinking? how i'm i meant to sleep tonight. With my drunk (possibly adhd) flatmate going to make bizzare noises or brag about how many girls he's ****ing to his mates?

    How can i sleep when my other flatmate ignores me in some of our lectures? How can i sleep when i'm lovesick and i don't know what to do? How can i sleep, knowing i am alone - all by myself in this uni?

    Alcohol helps me but i'm not addicted. I only drink at night at least 4-5 days a week.

    It's hard, i know you're helping me but i have never been this depressed since 2011
    I know this might sound silly and all, but have you tried making friends outside the uni? You should try that. It might boost your confidence and make you better socializing inside the uni. Go to a bar on a weekend?

    Is there anyway you can transfer a flat?

    Another thing is, you said your roommate is sympathetic to you but hasn't said a thing. Maybe try initiating a conversation to him? Seek help from him? It might sound desperate but to help you clear your mind, maybe that's a good step for you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've done it all. I tried sectioning myself and they said no.

    The problem is this a four year degree and i can not continue being uni for four more years. I always said university will determine whether 'i'm really social awkward for life' and it has just done that.

    I can't do this. I am a cancer to this university. Nobody says hi to me anymore, They avoid me, walk past me. Only one of my flatmate is sympathetic and is clearly seeing my weakness but won't ****ing say anything. The other flatmates don't care about me. My lecturers don't know me.

    The truth is i'm not sure i will make it. It would be my first time dropping out of a course and quite frankly it would be sad because my options are really nothing. Probably i was just leave the UK and start a new life in another country
    Have you spoken with the university about your problems? Your thoughts about dropping out? Have you talked with lecturers, how you can improve?

    Concerning sectioning and uni: They probably just don't think, you would profit from being sectioned, that is all. And therapies take a long time ... Maybe the services/therapist at the town of your uni are better? Maybe your university already has something to offer? (As you have a diagnosis, do you get help over DSA?)

    Concerning alcohol, again: From what you tell, you already have a problem with alcohol. You need it, e.g. to sleep, to go out, etc. As soon as you need something, you have a problem. And alcohol is also not helping with lifiting your mood.
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    I expect you're no different than many people , going to a town they don't know and trying to start a new life there.

    It's not easy. But, this is what being an adult is all about. You have no alternative but to plod on. I understand that you are feeling lonely and fed up. The best way to get yourself through this , is to go out and help someone else.

    You're literate. Volunteer in a primary school and listen to little kids read. You're aware of the problems people are coping with - volunteer in a hospital/old people's home/food bank/chat to elderly people who get no visitors. Ask about their past jobs, families, problems. You'll be amazed at the experiences they have had and it will help put your own problems into perspective.

    Being useful to others is an excellent remedy for loneliness. You will also meet people of the same background to you and different backgrounds. You will learn a lot which will stand you on good stead for the rest of your life. Before you know it you will have forgotten all about yourself and your problems and be involved in solving other people's. You will develop interpersonal skills which are so important in every walk of life.

    Think- you've got enough to eat, you're gifted, you have the chance of an excellent education. You are so lucky. Put your gifts and luck to good use.
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon please

    Is it time for me to leave uni. I've been in Uni since September and to be honest, the experience has been a tragedy to say the least. Socialising is very autistic and i fear people will see me as weakbecause i have no friends in the uni.

    It's also very embarassing to be alone if you live in halls but no one hollas at you or flatmates don't give a **** about you.

    I can't really do this. Next year is planned very well to end this depressive cycle but i can't continue for another 3 months. I will be commuting from April but even this isn't going to help my situation. If i do want to drop out, i want to do some youth work abroad (paid) or perhaps pay attention to my christianity and do missionary work...

    I also don't really want to go back to my house as i don't get along with my family. Help me what should i do
    *Warning - sorry if anyone finds this offensive. It doesnt come from a bad place i promise.*

    Sorry to be brutal but you need the ****ing wake up call. I felt for you when i first read this thread.. i was you once. At uni, alone, no friends, hated my course and wanted to get out.. so i did. You came on here asking for advice and ive looked through all of these people's comments.. all of these STRANGERS that have taken time out of their day to help YOU and all you have done since the beginning is dismiss every suggestion and put yourself down. YOU came on here seeking help but it seems you dont want any?? Do you want to turn it around or not? Do you want to better your life or not? Do you want help OR NOT? Its this self destructive and ungrateful attitude that is stopping you from moving forward and the sooner you go and seek professional help the better. This website is not the place for you, stop being a victim and GO. GET. HELP.

    I hope you find what you are looking for in life and i hope that one day you look back and read this thread to remind yourself of the kindness shown to you by all of those strangers reminding you that you arent as alone as you think you are. No one had to reply to you, but they did. No one had to keep replying even after you dismissed them, but they did. And i think that's pretty damn amazing.
 
 
 
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