Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My boyfriend is white and I'm a Muslim girl. Watch

    • #9
    #9

    What does he think? It's fair enough to think of you compromising the relationship with your family and all, but relationship is a two-way street. I think some heavy compromises and meeting half-way may be an option to consider. Has he even met your family yet?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lulucoco98)
    Those without sin cast the first stone

    I am sure you are in no place to judge.

    The only person who can judge her is God not you, no offence.

    Seriously, OP if you love him dearly, go for it because you could regret it down the line, love always prevails Good Luck
    No this isnt some fairy tale or romantic movie where she runs away with the love of her life... Marriages like this will only lead to one thing in the end regret and unhappiness. Regardless of how strict or unreasonable her parents are they have her best intentions, Because she is a muslim then she knows that in order for her to go paradise she needs to be respectful of her parents they arent saying anything unreasonable just to get married to someone from her religion. Later down the line if this relationship doesnt work out then what does she have no family no parents all because of some person she was in "love" with.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I dont think their racist, they have a problem with it because he's not Muslim. Which is very understandable, marriage is half your din.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    smh at everyone who's voicing stricter attitudes than her parents :/
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    This is a messed up situation. And this is the problem when it comes to Islam, you have to convert someone to be with them. This is the main reason why I'd never marry a Muslim girl. Not to mention the other problems I'd have.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Withengar)
    In the name of everyone with a brain, in the name of everyone with a shred of decency - shut it. Stop it. Now.

    A girl who falls in love with someone who doesn't share her exact opinion and religion is not a Muslim and is filth, but people beheading atheists, torturing children and throwing homosexuals off of buildings aren't? Where are you condemning them on the threads that talk about it? Racism is filth, xenophobia is filth, prejudice is filth, sexism is filth. Love isn't, wasn't and will never be.

    Freedom of love, peace, life, freedom and liberty trump all others. Interesting how the religion of "peace" is the one that is to blame for all this. Funny how the religion of "peace" is the one who is behind all these atrocities, behind breakup of families, murders and prejudice. Islam was created in violence, baptized in war, grew in conflict and exists due to fear and aggressive zeal. You're proving it right here and now. Instead of sympathizing with this poor girl in her troubles, you judge and condemn her, treat her poorly and call her actions and feelings, which are completely rational, "filth." I'm not afraid to say it - Islam is anything but a religion of peace.


    I don't care who you are or what you believe in. I care about how kind, understanding, accepting and reasonable you are. I care how big your heart is, not what god, if any, you bow down to. That's how it should be. That's what everyone should live like - religious or not religious.
    Yes because the actions of those who are so illiterate and arent practicing but pick and choose islam portray islam as being "violent", Islam at the time gave rights to women freedom something that wasnt even a thing women were seen as objects in the past but now you have some person behind a screen acting like he knows all and how islam is so violent because he clearly has spent time learning the religion obviously?... No of course not he hears these stories about tiger parenting to an extreme, islam doesnt say anything about treating anyone who isnt a muslim differently just what they do whether we see it a sin or not is nothing for us to judge. So the examples you gave are just people who have got such a messed up culture and tradition they dont even know the distinction between the two, and as usual islam becomes scapegoated... In relation to OP she knows that in her religion it isnt allowed to get a married to a non muslim so asking this sort of question on a non muslim thread and expecting sensible answers is stupid and just plain wishful thinking. Shes clearly kidding herself if she thinks its acceptable when the choice is clear that either she marry's someone from her religion or she does what she wants but then in the same way she cannot expect her parents or family to be happy with that and what ever they choose is of consequence from her own choice.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joshjones15)
    This is a messed up situation. And this is the problem when it comes to Islam, you have to convert someone to be with them. This is the main reason why I'd never marry a Muslim girl. Not to mention the other problems I'd have.
    Not really no one is telling you to marry a muslim girl, the same rule applies to Christianity those who are practicing know full well it isnt acceptable to marry a non Christian and there are a number of practical reasons why this is the case
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    Not really no one is telling you to marry a muslim girl, the same rule applies to Christianity those who are practicing know full well it isnt acceptable to marry a non Christian and there are a number of practical reasons why this is the case
    Actually Christianity allows it. I'm not a Christian, but I've done the research on it. Islam is the only religion that expects a conversion for marriage. I don't have anything against any religion, but in my opinion, Islam is just not very inclusive of others.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To the Muslims here encouraging her, if she listens to your advice and marry him (which is a sin) then you will get the sin too.
    How is it a sin if she gets a nikka done at a mosque? If the man reverts that is

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by raihan8055)
    It seems as if you have an impossible choice to make: your family or your bf. Personally, family would come before anything but do what you think is right. There are other options too. Have you tried talking to him about Islam?
    Family shouldn't come first. They do not provide any support for her, they don't care for her happiness, all they care for is their own opinions and values. You can't choose your family, that's why you shouldn't care about their opinions. Don't throw away potential happiness just because your family doesn't agree with it.

    Go with whatever will make you happy. And I mean YOU, not your family or boyfriend. You do need to think about how much your religion matters to you and whether you even want to stay a part of it. I would NOT recommend asking him to join your religion, he'll never truly convert if he hasn't even considered it by now, and it could ruin your relationship. You could try talking with him about this as well? I would assume that he would provide support in your current situation.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Withengar)
    Before I say anything, note that I'm an atheist and things I say might offend you. But this is the reality.

    From what you've described, I see no possibility of your family ever coming to terms with your decisions and actions that are not in the strictest adherence to their ideas, values and faith. I can't imagine the mentality of "my child is doing something I don't want - shame and disownment." That's not how you treat a person, a human being and a daughter. Make no mistake, harbor no illusions - this is Islam on a daily basis. Islam doesn't need to be taking down skyscrapers and killing infidels to cause harm. It can cause a mother to threaten to disown her daughter simply because she fell in love with a non-Muslim. It can cause you to think that you have no choice but to make a choice between yourself and your family.

    As definite as it might be in your situation, I suggest you to appeal to your family one more time - as a daughter, niece and sister. Explain yourself and your feelings. If your family can somehow, anyhow understand - keep in touch. However, if they can't, move away, leave them behind and follow your feelings and your heart. Both you and your partner are mature, responsible adults with great prospects in life and I warmly and kindly suggest you do the right thing. Start living your life independently of your mother, your father and ultimately - independently of Islam. You've been a loving, caring, loyal family member for years, but obviously, that won't make you happy and isn't making you happy. That won't allow you to live your own life. Start being a loving, caring, loyal person in general, loving, caring for and loyal to people who deserve it. People who value you and treasure you for who you are as a person and an individual, not for who you are as a Muslim. Have a long, meaningful conversation with your partner, explain the situation, let him know what would this all means for you. If he understands you, respects you, loves you and recognizes what you need to sacrifice for your relationship - be with him, be free.
    Where is she going to go first ? Are you going to look after her ? Family arguments happen all the time and things happen in the heat of the moment don't you think she should think about it. Families do act harsh at first but slowly accept

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joshjones15)
    Actually Christianity allows it. I'm not a Christian, but I've done the research on it. Islam is the only religion that expects a conversion for marriage. I don't have anything against any religion, but in my opinion, Islam is just not very inclusive of others.
    This is very mixed and many will tell you that it is disliked and isnt recommended for various reasons and that they should marry within their own religion, the case here is that shes a muslim and the rules are very clear about marriage yet shes doing her utmost to say how horrible her parents sister aunties are etc so we get this one ended bias perspective because her judgment is clearly clouded.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CAPTAINSHAZAM)
    islam doesnt say anything about treating anyone who isnt a muslim differently just what they do whether we see it a sin or not is nothing for us to judge
    Quran (3:56) - "As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help."

    Quran (3:151) - "Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority".

    Quran (4:89) - "They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing. But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks."

    Quran (8:12) - "I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them."

    Quran (9:123) - "O you who believe! Fight those of the unbelievers who are near to you and let them find in you hardness."

    Quran (25:52) - "Therefore listen not to the Unbelievers, but strive against them with the utmost strenuousness."

    Quran (66:9) - "O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them. Hell will be their home, a hapless journey's end."

    Face it - Islam tells you to treat people who don't think like you quite differently and quite violently, especially people who are unbelievers/atheists. Those above are the passages from the Quran itself.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Biologyquestions)
    I dont think their racist, they have a problem with it because he's not Muslim. Which is very understandable, marriage is half your din.
    There's a difference between preferring your daughter married a muslim, but seeing she is deeply in love with a non muslim and accepting that, and effectively disowning her and telling her she is shameful.
    No loving family should ever do such a thing, perhaps if she's murdered someone but beyond that, just disgusting really.

    Oh and *they're
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    It may not be valid in her parents' eyes, but as she lives in the UK the marriage would most certainly be valid and recognised by the state.
    She can have a civil wedding at a registry but she can't have an islamic one as it will be void.
    • Political Ambassador
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    Nice to see that some parents still think that their own beliefs are more important than their child's happiness.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi all... Here goes.

    I'm in love with a non- Muslim, he's white and I cannot see myself with anyone but him.
    That's all which matters, you love each other.


    You could get rid of him, marry a Muslim who abuses you and cheats and you life would not be worth living.


    If he treats you well, can provide, why should you not choose him
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Withengar)
    Quran (3:56) - "As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help."

    Quran (3:151) - "Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority".

    Quran (4:89) - "They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing. But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks."

    Quran (8:12) - "I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them."

    Quran (9:123) - "O you who believe! Fight those of the unbelievers who are near to you and let them find in you hardness."

    Quran (25:52) - "Therefore listen not to the Unbelievers, but strive against them with the utmost strenuousness."

    Quran (66:9) - "O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them. Hell will be their home, a hapless journey's end."
    Yes I'm an atheist, but for the life of me I cannot understand (assuming these translations are correct) why anyone would want to be part of a religion based upon a book with such hatred and lack of tolerance written in it, shown in multitude by your quotes..
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by serah.exe)
    Nice to see that some parents still think that their own beliefs are more important than their child's happiness.
    There is a reason for it. Their religion is a way to control society, it has priority over everything. The 7th century laws are applied today and is essentialy used to dictate their lives. It's the religion that says they can't marry outside, not the people. And actually when seeing the other factors, though I disagree with the concept, I think that rule is better for them in 21st century UK. I can name a whole bunch of problems to occur if you would marry a Muslim. It's a recipe for disaster.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It is a problem of your parents. You are 24 years old! Sure, I don't know all the aspects, but I think you should talk with your boyfriend about it. This is your life, and if you really love him and want to be with him, parents should understand you.
    Another question is, r u really think you will be a good couple? For example, you will have children in future and what's about their religion? Will argues about it appear someday between you and him?
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: February 17, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.