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Female, 23 and muslim - feel like I'll forever be single... watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Twice now I've ended up being friends with muslim guys I really liked. With the second guy, I fell hard, but he just wanted to hang out, watch netflix and go out for lunch every week and just wasn't really into me.
    There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
    I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
    Thanks for reading if you got this far
    As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.

    whoever says that doesnt know Islam . Hijab is a minor sin not major. U can still be Muslim and dont wear Hijab. Hijab is between between u n Allah. Forget wht people say .

    I want to marry a girl outside my race in sha Allah!

    Marry a pious Muslim guy u will find sm1 dont worry just pray God will answer ur prayers. Most men out there just use women for sex u dont want a man like that right? u want a pious man .

    Dont be depressed dont lose hope stay strong put your trust in God! he is with u wherever u are.
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    (Original post by alkaline.)
    ik... you have the gender symbol
    Sorry I just read your reply word for word as opposed to skim reading over it. Sorry.
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    #1

    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Which part of the country is this? Don't worry about the hijab thing and don't let anyone force or pressure you into it.

    What do you mean you're constantly told you don't look ethnically Muslim? What is your ethnicity and who are these people? Keep in mind that anyone can be a Muslim regardless of race.

    Perhaps unconventional, but have you considered Muslim dating websites? They aren't actually for 'dating', more for people looking to meet, introduce parents and eventually marry etc.

    Also you are still young. Don't let that get you down. I've already gone through the whole marriage thing and back, and I'm only a couple of years older than you - honestly, it's a relief being free for the time being.
    I don't want to say exactly where and risk giving my identity away. Not far from a major city and close to another area which does have a fairly big muslim population, but of a completely different ethnicity.

    Most of the british muslim population have dark skin, so aren't used to seeing fair-skinned muslims like myself, and are surprised when I tell them I am.

    I have thought about joining one, but not gonna lie, the idea makes me cringe a little.

    Thanks for the encouragement, it's just hard when you're nearing your mid 20s and haven't experienced what most people have in life :/
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by alkaline.)
    I think cause when they date they want it to lead to marriage, and it's not permitted to marry a non-muslim guy in Islam :/


    OP what ethnicity are you? cause you said you don't look ethnically muslim so it's making me wonder. Someone said join societies which I think is such a good idea plus it won't just be people from your year and you'll get older guys
    Because people of my ethnic group in this country is so small, I'm scared of giving my identity away if I say. Basically I'm fair-skinned, so most british muslims (who have darker skin) aren't used to seeing people that look like me and are muslim.

    At 23, I'm quite a bit older than most at my uni who are 18-22. I've made friends here, but I don't know about dating a younger guy tbh. I'll definitely join some though and see where it gets me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because people of my ethnic group in this country is so small, I'm scared of giving my identity away if I say. Basically I'm fair-skinned, so most british muslims (who have darker skin) aren't used to seeing people that look like me and are muslim.

    At 23, I'm quite a bit older than most at my uni who are 18-22. I've made friends here, but I don't know about dating a younger guy tbh. I'll definitely join some though and see where it gets me.
    Are you Turkish? or Lebanese?
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    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to say exactly where and risk giving my identity away. Not far from a major city and close to another area which does have a fairly big muslim population, but of a completely different ethnicity.
    No worries, no need to say. You can PM in confidence if you wish, but totally up to you.

    Most of the british muslim population have dark skin, so aren't used to seeing fair-skinned muslims like myself, and are surprised when I tell them I am.
    I see. Yes I guess you're right, most have dark skin in the UK, in my experience anyway. Have you gone to the places nearby, since you mentioned earlier there's one with quite a large Muslim population - or do you not find them attractive? What's your ethnicity?

    With the dating sites, you can filter by preference and look for a matching ethnic background - if that's what you prefer.

    I have thought about joining one, but not gonna lie, the idea makes me cringe a little.
    Why?

    Thanks for the encouragement, it's just hard when you're nearing your mid 20s and haven't experienced what most people have in life :/
    Well, I wouldn't say most people have experienced marriage by their mid 20s! Not in these recent generations anyway. Mine was a mistake in the end and for now I appreciate the freedom more than I previously did before the breakup. Don't rush into it and unwittingly make a mistake that you'll regret. I guess I understand the pressure, but as I've already been through it, if I could give anyone else some simple piece of advice - don't rush into a hasty decision, especially if you're feeling pressurised.

    Besides that, do you have any past relationship experience? If so, how long ago and how did that go?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because people of my ethnic group in this country is so small, I'm scared of giving my identity away if I say. Basically I'm fair-skinned, so most british muslims (who have darker skin) aren't used to seeing people that look like me and are muslim.

    At 23, I'm quite a bit older than most at my uni who are 18-22. I've made friends here, but I don't know about dating a younger guy tbh. I'll definitely join some though and see where it gets me.
    Absolute bollox, wtf!? I have very fair skin and blonde hair too (syrian). Everyone knows im a muslim, what the **** does fair skin have to do with anything? lol They don't care.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Twice now I've ended up being friends with muslim guys I really liked. With the second guy, I fell hard, but he just wanted to hang out, watch netflix and go out for lunch every week and just wasn't really into me.
    There are many problems I'm facing right now. Firstly, I started uni this year (late I know) after realising I wanted to be a teacher. This means I'm surrounded by mostly younger guys. Also, I'm part of probably the smallest muslim ethnic group in the country, and as most prefer to marry their own race, it makes it hard. As I don't wear a hijab (cover my hair) I don't stand out as muslim. I'm also constantly told I don't look ethnically muslim.
    I'm lucky to have open-minded parents, who despite fasting 5 times daily, have said they wouldn't get mad if I don't marry a muslim guy (tbh I think they'd just rather not see me die alone as they know the problem I'm facing). I do however want to find a muslim guy to marry, but I'm starting to lose hope and become depressed. I turn down non-muslim guys I find attractive, but I fear I'll be alone forever
    Thanks for reading if you got this far
    7/10. how can you get fasting confused with praying? LMAOOOOO troll.
    • #2
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    7/10. how can you get fasting confused with praying? LMAOOOOO troll.
    I agree, a troll, full of ******** lol.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree, a troll, full of ******** lol.
    Can't get over it ahah
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    Becoming friends with and dating Muslim guys isn't going to help you find a good husband. If you are serious about marriage you can even get help in finding a spouse from your local masjid. Ask family members, friends, people at your mosque if they know anyone who is looking to marry and would make a good husband.

    Have you considered wearing the hijab?
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    (Original post by yasminkattan)

    Have you considered wearing the hijab?
    Why is this a thing? Why does wearing a hijab suddenly make her marriage material?
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    First of all, are you taking something? How can you look ethnically Muslim? Islam is not a race or an ethnicity, it's a religion. People can be Muslim and be of any race/ethnicity/nationality etc.

    Second of all, who would say that a religion as oppressive as Islam which treats different genders as polar opposites and which forces you to marry/date within that very religion would be a hindrance to love? I don't pity you. No one here should. You said you do get approached, and asked out, but turn away any non-Muslims. But then you go on and complain how you'll forever be single. You can't have your cake and eat it.
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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    Don't you mean praying?
    They just eat a lot of snacks, okay!!

    That 2 hour fast can be hard.
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    fasting 5 times daily.....k.
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    (Original post by whorace)
    Why is this a thing? Why does wearing a hijab suddenly make her marriage material?
    I never said that. I'm simply asking. Also if she wants to attract a pious husband this is an important factor.
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    If you consider non muslim men you would have a wider pool and better chances.

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    (Original post by HucktheForde)
    If you consider non muslim men you would have a wider pool and better chances.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    As a Muslim she's not allowed to marry outside of her faith.
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    What do ethnic muslims look like lmao
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    (Original post by yasminkattan)
    As a Muslim she's not allowed to marry outside of her faith.
    But its permitted by law and common sense, which is what that matters

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
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