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Need advice from Pakistanis / Muslims. Potentially ruined my reputation. watch

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    How does that work? You're either Muslim or you're not, do you pray 5x a day?
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    You could say I'm a Muslim but not very strict or religious.
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Absolutely agreed. Its just generally desi mentality but it becomes even a bigger deal when you're a Muslim.
    Yes I suppose, because you have the "haram police" as you called it XD always looking out. Where as I suppose non-muslim south asians don't really care much.

    But I honestly feel like when you grow up like that, it's hard to shake it off. Like I'm a very liberal person in my thinking, but I don't act very liberal XDD but I do understand why OP is upset.
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    (Original post by whysoseriousx)
    How does that work? You're either Muslim or you're not, do you pray 5x a day?
    I do believe in God but don't pray 5 times a day. Used to. And disagree with a few points in the Quran.
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    You should tell your mother, i think it's the best option. It's better if she heard it from you, asian culture is annoying like that. But she would understand more when she hears from you, i think it would make things worse if she heard it from someone else.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Yes I suppose, because you have the "haram police" as you called it XD always looking out. Where as I suppose non-muslim south asians don't really care much.

    But I honestly feel like when you grow up like that, it's hard to shake it off. Like I'm a very liberal person in my thinking, but I don't act very liberal XDD but I do understand why OP is upset.
    Yeah absolutely agreed. I mean, I understand the reputation part as that's a pure example of desi culture and nothing else. So it makes sense and I think its the same with all the desis regardless of them being Muslim, Hindu or Sikh, Christian etc.
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    gurll you gotta stop leaving me on cliffhangers, you know the follow up question go be what points, is it the generic : inheritance, witnesses, beating wife, degree above? If not please specify x
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    I do believe in God but don't pray 5 times a day. Used to. And disagree with a few points in the Quran.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    It's not just islamic culture, it's just really ingrained into South Asians. As time passes people are starting to care less and less, but I say that and then I go to a relatives house or something and normally a conversation pops up about girls and their bad reputations and how disgraceful it is, and how it's all their mothers fault etc etc etc

    Also I live in a town with a large Sikh community, and have a lot of family in the area so from a young age I was always told to look and be respectful when going out, dress modestly and act properly, never stay out late or don't let anyone see you coming home late with friends etc. But it's not true for all south Asians obviously, only the ones that grow up in more traditional families.
    It's way worse for Muslims esp. Muslim girls.

    Also sounds like it's more common in insular communities. I've grown up in 80%+ white areas and none of this anti-alcohol etc. stuff has been enforced on me.
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    (Original post by noticemesenpai)
    You should tell your mother, i think it's the best option. It's better if she heard it from you, asian culture is annoying like that. But she would understand more when she hears from you, i think it would make things worse if she heard it from someone else.
    Sounds like a good advice because you know how desis spread rumours So you never know OP's mum may actually find out
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    (Original post by whysoseriousx)
    gurll you gotta stop leaving me on cliffhangers, you know the follow up question go be what points, is it the generic : inheritance, witnesses, beating wife, degree above? If not please specify x
    Haha well yeah, Islamic take on inheritance, homosexual rights, women's rights, abortion etc
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Sounds like a good advice because you know how desis spread rumours So you never know OP's mum may actually find out
    Yeah, i think thats the best option, plus it may hurt her a lot more if she hears it from someone else. I've seen how desi families work hahaa. I'm glad that we stay away from the desi community. No involvement what so ever.
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    ''All I have to say is Lol, the ignorance, misinformation, misinterpretations, distortions, misrepresentations and cherry picked quotes and self-serving facts is quite astonishing. All this from a non-muslim btw...'' (my post on another post :P)

    That's cool, but you should definitely do further research, a lot of it is misunderstood due to lack of context etc and a lot of what I would call traditional modern scholars, e.g. T. Ramadan have a different take to a lot of these points. Then on the other end of the spectrum you have Progressive modern scholars .e.g Irshad Manji who essentially call for a whole new rendition reading of the religion.

    This is my first day posting on TSR, and the ignorance is astounding, honestly.


    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Haha well yeah, Islamic take on inheritance, homosexual rights, women's rights, abortion etc
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Yeah absolutely agreed. I mean, I understand the reputation part as that's a pure example of desi culture and nothing else. So it makes sense and I think its the same with all the desis regardless of them being Muslim, Hindu or Sikh, Christian etc.
    Yup I think it's really quite the same, it just depends how liberal your family are though. A lot of Indian families adopted western values upon moving here, others some, some not at all!

    My mum is really conservative, VERY conservative. My dad is quite liberal. Most of my mums side of the family are really conservative, so it makes sense that she is.

    You sound really rather liberal, do you have to fake your (beliefs/ dress sense etc) around conservative members of your family?

    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    It's way worse for Muslims esp. Muslim girls.
    Yes, most likely because of religious reasons rather than cultural reasons.
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    (Original post by whysoseriousx)
    ''All I have to say is Lol, the ignorance, misinformation, misinterpretations, distortions, misrepresentations and cherry picked quotes and self-serving facts is quite astonishing. All this from a non-muslim btw...'' (my post on another post :P)

    That's cool, but you should definitely do further research, a lot of it is misunderstood due to lack of context etc and a lot of what I would call traditional modern scholars, e.g. T. Ramadan have a different take to a lot of these points. Then on the other end of the spectrum you have Progressive modern scholars .e.g Irshad Manji who essentially call for a whole new rendition reading of the religion.

    This is my first day posting on TSR, and the ignorance is astounding, honestly.
    Typo game is weak af. Sorry
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    huhh waya mean
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Typo game is weak af. Sorry
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    Ahem. Let's not argue here, the girl needs advice! I doubt she wants to see disagreements!
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Yup I think it's really quite the same, it just depends how liberal your family are though. A lot of Indian families adopted western values upon moving here, others some, some not at all!

    My mum is really conservative, VERY conservative. My dad is quite liberal. Most of my mums side of the family are really conservative, so it makes sense that she is.

    You sound really rather liberal, do you have to fake your (beliefs/ dress sense etc) around conservative members of your family?



    Yes, most likely because of religious reasons rather than cultural reasons.
    Agreed. Like my mum's family is pretty chilled but only when it comes to dress sense..they don't forve anything. But then again, in terms of marriages, they're typical.

    Then comes my dad's family and damn gurrrl, they are on the other level.

    And errm..fake? Gurl, that's the story of my life. I'm not even allowed to wear western clothes at home. Only when out And the kind of girl I am, I prefer western clothes to be more comfy
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    (Original post by whysoseriousx)
    huhh waya mean
    Sorry..wasn't trying to be
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    wasn't trying to be what? loll it seems your confusion permeates through all aspects of your life huhhh, )
    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Sorry..wasn't trying to be
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    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Agreed. Like my mum's family is pretty chilled but only when it comes to dress sense..they don't forve anything. But then again, in terms of marriages, they're typical.

    Then comes my dad's family and damn gurrrl, they are on the other level.

    And errm..fake? Gurl, that's the story of my life. I'm not even allowed to wear western clothes at home. Only when out And the kind of girl I am, I prefer western clothes to be more comfy
    No way! Gurlllllllllllll Like a Salwar Kameez? or something else? That's tough, and uncomfortable

    It's not that bad in my family, obviously covering up is sort of expected when your around family and stuff but western clothes are fine. But if a girl wears a low neck or thin straps top, or a skirt, or shorts the atmosphere goes a bit tense (I HAVE FELT IT , Oh god I'm feeling it now...XD) Like the elephant in the room. But then again, maybe it's just my family, some families are cool with it. XD
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    South Asians piss me off.
 
 
 
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