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Why isn't homosexuality a choice? (genuine question) watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't really comment for sure but are you sure they were actually straight in the first place? for instance if i eventually 'come out' then people will think that of me because i have pretended for a very long time so as not to arouse suspicion i.e 'he's hot' so i would just nod in agreement or something bc that is what is expected when in reality i've known for about 3 years so idk i wouldn't just assume they were ever 'straight' unless they explicitly told you they thought they were.
    just my opinion though
    I agree with what you are saying about some people not coming out until they are older, I think this is definitely true and some people wait for the right time to do it. But let me give you one example I have experienced. I went on a family holiday about 3 years ago, there was this one girl there who had a massive thing for my brother, they were together for most of the holiday and there was even some periods when they would leave the holiday complex together for hours and then come back in the evening, it was abvious that she liked him. Anyway now she is lesbian, she goes to gay pride parades and has had a girlfriend. Now this leads me to believe that it is a choice because she was 16 at the time we went on holiday and I believe most people know what sex they are attracted to by the time they are 16. I have nothing against gay people btw just in case this was coming off that way, but I just feel like I have witnessed to many experiences like this to believe that homosexuliaty is 100% not a choice.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Nah. You don't choose to like pizza, you either like it or you don't because that's how you're wired. Same thing with your sexuality really.
    Really?

    The types of food you like have a lot to do with the food you grew up eating. For example you may not like spicy food because you're not used to it. I don't like yellow melon today because it made me feel sick when I was really young.

    So in this case, yeah, you can say it's about the things you're exposed to. Nurture. Not "how you're wired".
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    (Original post by yasminkattan)
    Really?

    The types of food you like have a lot to do with the food you grew up eating. For example you may not like spicy food because you're not used to it. I don't like yellow melon today because it made me feel sick when I was really young.

    So in this case, yeah, you can say it's about the things you're exposed to. Nurture. Not "how you're wired".
    Not at all. There are a number of foods I was brought up eating but now dislike and vice versa - as your tastebuds mature, your taste in things changes and things don't taste good to you anymore, just like there are some things you were given as a child that you will forever love and other things you just wouldn't eat as a child and have never liked. In the vast majority of cases, it's all due to physiological processes, i.e. how you're wired. Just giving someone something they don't like eating and expecting them to end up liking it over time is a ridiculous notion tbh, just like telling someone that if they watched gay porn every day they'd end up being gay. Some would argue that being around gay people all the time would make you more likely to be gay yourself, but I don't believe this to be true for one.
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    (Original post by DamnDaniel2)
    Thats called gender fluid or confused. Its not a choice. If it was a choice so many people would not have committed suicide for being gay.
    Just the way a straight person is attracted to the opposite gender, same with homosexuals. You can't stop that feeling its not possible. You try falling in love with the same gender and you'll see its not possible at all!


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    It's not called gender fluid, gender fluid is when you do not identify as one specific gender, your gender varies over time. being gender fluid has nothing to do with who you're attracted to.
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    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Not at all. There are a number of foods I was brought up eating but now dislike and vice versa - as your tastebuds mature, your taste in things changes and things don't taste good to you anymore, just like there are some things you were given as a child that you will forever love and other things you just wouldn't eat as a child and have never liked. In the vast majority of cases, it's all due to physiological processes, i.e. how you're wired. Just giving someone something they don't like eating and expecting them to end up liking it over time is a ridiculous notion tbh.
    Okay, so I can agree it's a psychological issue in that case, not something genetic.

    And I don't think it's ridiculous because it happens all the time. I used to hate rockets in my salad, yet my mum kept insisting and adding it to salads until I got used to it and no longer have a problem with it. So I don't think it's a great comparison.
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    (Original post by nerdydaydreamer)
    It's not called gender fluid, gender fluid is when you do not identify as one specific gender, your gender varies over time. being gender fluid has nothing to do with who you're attracted to.
    I've now heard it all.

    How do people take these things seriously? I'm actually baffled
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    (Original post by yasminkattan)
    Okay, so I can agree it's a psychological issue in that case, not something genetic.

    And I don't think it's ridiculous because it happens all the time. I used to hate rockets in my salad, yet my mum kept insisting and adding it to salads until I got used to it and no longer have a problem with it. So I don't think it's a great comparison.
    Sure, but then that's similar to how a lot of people end up turning gay in prison because they're in that environment, which in itself is a form of nurture. In both examples, it's an unusual case that's an exception to the rule as it were.
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    Did you make a conscious choice to be sexually attracted to whatever subset of people you're sexually attracted to? There's your answer.
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    I'm Bi.

    I didn't pick Bisexuality.
    I was born this way and spent a long time of my life dealing with the unfortunate negatives which come along with it.

    The most annoying and hurtful thing any Bi/Gay person can hear is the idea of you choosing your sexuality. Why on earth would someone choose a life where they can be discriminated against, have their masculinity mocked and be marginalised by society.

    Dont get me wrong; I'm so happy with societies change in attitudes over the past years with homosexuality however its not perfect. We still have parts of the world/cultures/religions which would prevent a Bi/Gay man/women to be themselves. I would know a lot about that.

    Before the "there is no gay gene" comment comes in, let me just rationalise that. In what world do you think a single gene would contribute entirely to your sexuality.
    Being gay is just like being straight; its a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. There are many scientific studies which prove that you cant choose your sexuality.

    Some interesting articles:
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2...ronmental.html
    http://www.latimes.com/science/scien...007-story.html
    http://www.livescience.com/50058-bei...-a-choice.html

    Its just time we end this debate/argument. You didnt choose to be straight, I didnt choose to be Bi. Simple as, end off.


    My thoughts on this.
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    The short answer: no, homosexuality is not a choice.
    The long answer: Humans are not the only species that have same sex pairings. Animals, from birds, dolphins, lions and chimpanzees have all been known to have same sex pairings, and although the evolutionary reason for this isn't clear, it is obvious from research into this that gay sex is not a modern human innovation, or in fact a human innovation at all. That in itself should prove that it's natural, because you surely can't believe that animals have advanced enough thought patterns to make conscious choices about sexuality (to all those about to launch at me about how animals have the same intelligence as us: emotional intelligence, yes, but in that sense, no).
    Your genes also play a part in whether or not you are gay. There are certain genes which are more prevalent in people who identify as homosexual, and as such, if you possess any one or more of those genes, you are statistically more likely to be gay. It has also been proven that being gay can be more common in some families than others, providing evidence that because these families share a certain proportion of their genes, there is a link between a person's genome and their sexuality. Let me get reinforce the fact that the gay gene in the singular does not exist, however there are certain genes that give someone a genetic predisposition to homosexuality, and there are genes that appear to have a direct impact on sexual orientation.

    Furthermore, when questioning or finding themselves, many gay people and people of other sexualities (bi, demi, pan etc) who struggle with their sexual orientation try to 'turn themselves straight' because this would be easier, and are simply unable to do it, proving that there is not a 'gay switch' within us, sexuality is something that is ingrained within a person and cannot be chosen or changed. In short, in the same way as a straight person cannot force themselves to be attracted to the same sex, a gay person cannot force themselves to be attracted to the opposite sex. There are several pointers to suggest sexual orientation is naturally fluid, but because of the social construction and accepted norms around this, is not always recognised as thus. Therefore, for those people who appear to 'turn' gay, this is not strictly true, there has always been a part of them that is attracted to the same sex, they have just not previously realised it. They may therefore realise, even after many years, that they are attracted only to the same sex after all, or are to attracted to both sexes. However, they may also not be sure how they feel, and their sexual orientation may change over time, hence their sexuality is fluid. Equally, there is a great deal of pressure to label people's sexuality, when in reality it does not need a label as long as they are happy, healthy and safe.

    The reason I wrote this is because as a cisgender heterosexual girl, I feel it is important to understand my LGBTQ+ peers and support them in fighting misconceptions and prejudices.

    Source: http://www.livescience.com/50058-bei...-a-choice.html
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    (Original post by yasminkattan)
    I've now heard it all.

    How do people take these things seriously? I'm actually baffled
    what about this baffles you? and before you ask, no, I am not gender fluid, I am cis gendered - that means I identify as my sex, the one I was born with. I would suggest you read this to help you understand: http://www.genderdiversity.org/resou...genderfluidity
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    (Original post by nerdydaydreamer)
    what about this baffles you? and before you ask, no, I am not gender fluid, I am cis gendered - that means I identify as my sex, the one I was born with. I would suggest you read this to help you understand: http://www.genderdiversity.org/resou...genderfluidity
    What baffles me is it's completely made up and makes absolutely no sense.
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    Assuming you're a heterosexual male, OP, you should be able to understand how lesbians are attracted to females.

    I would recognise how trying to understand how gays are attracted to males could be problematic, though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree with what you are saying about some people not coming out until they are older, I think this is definitely true and some people wait for the right time to do it. But let me give you one example I have experienced. I went on a family holiday about 3 years ago, there was this one girl there who had a massive thing for my brother, they were together for most of the holiday and there was even some periods when they would leave the holiday complex together for hours and then come back in the evening, it was abvious that she liked him. Anyway now she is lesbian, she goes to gay pride parades and has had a girlfriend. Now this leads me to believe that it is a choice because she was 16 at the time we went on holiday and I believe most people know what sex they are attracted to by the time they are 16. I have nothing against gay people btw just in case this was coming off that way, but I just feel like I have witnessed to many experiences like this to believe that homosexuliaty is 100% not a choice.
    How can you even profess to hold authority as to what was going through that girls mind. Let me give you the example of pro rugby player Gateth Thomas, gay with children and an ex-wife. Do you think anyone would have doubted he was a heterosexual? No. Do you think he would 'turned gay' when he made clear coming out in that sporting environment was the most difficult thing he ever did? No. Do you think, with hindsight, would describe himself as heterosexual on the day of his wedding day? No.

    It's called conformity and being in the closet..
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    (Original post by nerdydaydreamer)
    It's not called gender fluid, gender fluid is when you do not identify as one specific gender, your gender varies over time. being gender fluid has nothing to do with who you're attracted to.
    I've always wondered this, though: say you're exclusively attracted to males regardless of your gender, doesn't that mean on a day you identify as a female, you're heterosexual, and on another day you identify as male, you're homosexual?
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    You don't choose which genders you are and are not attracted to.
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    (Original post by Kiytt)
    I've always wondered this, though: say you're exclusively attracted to males regardless of your gender, doesn't that mean on a day you identify as a female, you're heterosexual, and on another day you identify as male, you're homosexual?
    okay so I just researched this because I didn't actually know the answer, and apparently in this case the people are known as androsexual, or androphillic (both words mean the same thing). This is my source: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/...e-genderqueer/ Thank you for asking this so I got to learn something new
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    (Original post by jamestg)
    I have been wondering about this for a while now, this is a genuine question by the way.Surely it can be a choice?
    What sort of choice? Do you think everyone is capable of making this choice or are some people more fluid than others?

    (Original post by thunder_chunky)
    You don't choose which genders you are and are not attracted to.
    Oh really .
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    no one chooses to be straight...I guess it's the same with gay people?


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    • #3
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    (Original post by jamestg)
    I have been wondering about this for a while now, this is a genuine question by the way.

    Surely it can be a choice?
    It may be for certain / some individuals.

    However evidence heavily leans towards no element of choice:
    - two genes are implied for male homosexuality, I believe, and one cannot choose their genetics unless they spliced their own genetic code or volunteered for some sort experiment, neither of which homosexuals do
    - epigenetics, gene expression in the mother's womb is believed to play a part, a foetus cannot choose to which hormones it is subjected
    - surely many people would be compelled to (choose to) be straight, because of the homophobic attacks and homophobia around the world?

    (Original post by Alexion)
    You choose to identify as homosexual. But you don't 'choose' which gender you're attracted to.
    g̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ sex*

    (Just saying because it's more the sex / typical characteristics of sexes to which you are attracted, not gender. Me being a semantics nutter.)

    (Original post by e hine e)
    Can be a choice to act on it - to enter into gay relationships, but the feelings are just there and can't be manufactured. And it's as difficult not to act on those feelings as it is for straight people to not act on theirs.
    g̶a̶y̶ same-sex* relationships

    (Original post by TheIr0nDuke)
    50/50 nature and nurture. The 'gay gene' doesn't exist.
    No, it wouldn't, because sexuality is multi-factorial, which I believe is evident by the almost-spectrum of it.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think it largely a choice, I have met a few people who have gone from straight to full blown homosexual in about 2 years.
    Were they really straight? And how have you determined that they were straight or then gay? Were you going by stereotypical characteristics by any chance?

    (Original post by ckfeister)
    Its complex even as a gay person... you're attracted 50% to girls but not fully... and this is why people think its a choice. If your bisexual you have a choice though, majority go to straight but a few go gay side.
    If you're bisexual no you don't have a choice, because you're still attracted to both sexes regardless of whether you are in a relationship.

    They're still attracted to both sexes if they are in a relationship composed of a male and female, and if they are in a same-sex relationship; they're still bisexual regardless of relationship status.

    There's also of course possible sexual fluidity, and even if they did change in terms of attraction, what makes you think that was a decision, or that (an element of) choice was involved?

    (Original post by DamnDaniel2)
    Thats called gender fluid or confused. Its not a choice. If it was a choice so many people would not have committed suicide for being gay.Just the way a straight person is attracted to the opposite gender, same with homosexuals. You can't stop that feeling its not possible. You try falling in love with the same gender and you'll see its not possible at all!Posted from TSR Mobile
    opposite / same g̶e̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ sex*
    (Original post by DamnDaniel2)
    I agree. The amount of people that actually don't understand this stuff is surprising Posted from TSR Mobile
    It's nice to be debated though, a mutually beneficial experience.
    (Original post by AperfectBalance)
    I am pretty sure that it is a choice, and just because you cannot be attracted to men does not mean that it cannot be a choice
    Read reply to jamestg at the top of this post.
 
 
 
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