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Im scared i'll end up sleeping with my bf. Watch

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    Either get married or don't have sex until you do. It's not rocket science
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    (Original post by Metrododo)
    Yes but you do realise those ideals very rarely occur in reality? As mentioned above, you can have the perfect "relationship" without sex, get married and consume the marriage, and later down the road realise it's not what what you expected and the guy isn't "perfect" after all - worse the guy himself might leave on his own accord.
    Not condoning promiscuity but meanwhile, a healthier relationship could have existed and being confortable with each other on all levels that wouldn't made marriage and what comes with it as much a leap in the dark.

    Also this is coming from a guy who lost it with his first gf and had a long relationship (2 years), and whilst the relationship seemed perfect till the last month it still broke down just words of caution for the OP
    What do you mean those ideals don't occur in reality?

    But it's choice, I think those reasons that I posted are understandable. I feel like now a' days there is too much to actually have sex rather than to abstain from it, I don't think abstaining from it is exactly an issue. People live their lives how it suits them best, if OP wants to save it till marriage then so be it.

    I don't really know how to help her situation though

    Also I don't think it's a "healthier relationship" if you've been promiscuous before marriage. I mean it's not "unhealthy" but I don't think it does, or at least it shouldn't make a big difference.
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    Since most people would happily skip a meal for sex, we can conclude that sex is better.

    You can also eat during sex. And it's better than real meals too.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eat
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Since most people would happily skip a meal for sex, we can conclude that sex is better.

    You can also eat during sex. And it's better than real meals too.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eat
    Yum!
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    What do you mean those ideals don't occur in reality?

    But it's choice, I think those reasons that I posted are understandable. I feel like now a' days there is too much to actually have sex rather than to abstain from it, I don't think abstaining from it is exactly an issue. People live their lives how it suits them best, if OP wants to save it till marriage then so be it.

    I don't really know how to help her situation though

    Also I don't think it's a "healthier relationship" if you've been promiscuous before marriage. I mean it's not "unhealthy" but I don't think it does, or at least it shouldn't make a big difference.
    Sorry I misworded it - I didn't mean to encourage promiscuity, but actually some level of sexual activity before getting married. And the ideals of preserving yourself for the "one" sounds nice, but most of the time doesn't actually end up happening as some would imagine: the "one" isn't that perfect after all, losing your virginity isn't actually that special in any way when looking back at it, etc. and those ideal thoughts just lead to further deception down the road


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    (Original post by ivy.98)
    i feel sorry for the guy
    he can leave the relationship if he wants, nothing to feel sorry about, he knows he's not getting any.
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    (Original post by CharlieH1992)
    At least you use it
    eyyyy

    ...
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Josb)
    Since most people would happily skip a meal for sex, we can conclude that sex is better.

    You can also eat during sex. And it's better than real meals too.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eat
    PRSOM

    (Original post by Metrododo)
    Sorry I misworded it - I didn't mean to encourage promiscuity, but actually some level of sexual activity before getting married. And the ideals of preserving yourself for the "one" sounds nice, but most of the time doesn't actually end up happening as some would imagine: the "one" isn't that perfect after all, losing your virginity isn't actually that special in any way when looking back at it, etc. and those ideal thoughts just lead to further deception down the road


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    this is what made me change my mind about pre-martial relations in general (but not specifically sex like I'd still wait for marriage bc islam), waiting to do sexual things before marriage puts expectations on the person you marry to be worth it, i've given up all hope for people I don't think there is anyone that is worth me repressing myself sexually for because noone is perfect and people always end up hurting you in some way or another anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    so am still a virgin at 19 and i really love my boyfriend. he understands that i want to save it till marriage but when im around him i feel like i cant control myself. i want to have sex with him but i wont as im saving it. Im worried we'll end up doing it esp as hes booked a hotel for us.

    somebody help. he says hell make sure we wont but im worried we still will.
    IN all honesty, he is looking to have sex with u there and if u do go along ur contradicting urself as u dont want to lose it before marriage but at the end of the day if u trust him enough to go with u should go bcus he wont if u tell him no and if he still forces it thats rape then. and then u can take it further maybe even feds.
    good luck jus do it lol keep him happy if u cant have sex with him give him head at least..
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    (Original post by Josb)
    OP is "scarred" to sleep with her boyfriend. I mean, seriously...

    She wants it, but some imaginary chains is preventing her from enjoying the best thing in life. This is just twisted.
    (Original post by ivy.98)
    i feel sorry for the guy
    (Original post by Omen96)
    You have no rational reason for waiting
    Waiting till marriage is a personal choice, like having sex before marriage is. Sex might not mean do same thing to you as it does to her, if you don't judg people for having sex it's stupid to judge someone for choosing to not.

    OpP if you want to wait till marriage thats cool, make sure your boyfriend understands this completely. When things get heated it's hard to keep control lol
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    Poor guy. I would bail out of this relationship ASAP if I was him. A relationship without sex? You might as well just be friends then. Waiting until marriage is a bad idea anyway. The worst possible thing to happen is that after marriage you aren't compatible in bed and it will all end badly. Let me guess, you're waiting because of religion. Don't let those stupid rules tell you how to live your own life.
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    (Original post by Royal_Phalanx)
    Poor guy. I would bail out of this relationship ASAP if I was him. A relationship without sex? You might as well just be friends then. Waiting until marriage is a bad idea anyway. The worst possible thing to happen is that after marriage you aren't compatible in bed and it will all end badly. Let me guess, you're waiting because of religion. Don't let those stupid rules tell you how to live your own life.
    I agree with you in some sense, but it doesn't have to be religion, I mean what kind of religion abiding it is if person does all the other sexual things, kissing, and ready to sleep in the same bed in a hotel room and but not do "one act". It can be some kind of insecurity or being scared of pregnancy.

    I don't personally believe in this stupid purity and "clean" thingy, but I will judge anybody who believes in that, but also has been naked in front of opposite gender, doing all sort of stuff/kissing/bj.
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    #4

    Either don't take protection or dont clean after you take a dump. At least one of these will put you both off.
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    Why would you sleep with him when you already knew the possible consequence of that action?
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    (Original post by Drummerz)
    Waiting till marriage is a personal choice, like having sex before marriage is. Sex might not mean do same thing to you as it does to her, if you don't judg people for having sex it's stupid to judge someone for choosing to not.

    OpP if you want to wait till marriage thats cool, make sure your boyfriend understands this completely. When things get heated it's hard to keep control lol
    Like I said it's not rational choice. God does not exist meaning religion has no standing and consequently marriage has no standing. It's her choice and I accept that but she hasn't explained with a rational reason.
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    (Original post by Omen96)
    Like I said it's not rational choice. God does not exist meaning religion has no standing and consequently marriage has no standing. It's her choice and I accept that but she hasn't explained with a rational reason.
    And she doen't have too, like you wouldn't ask anyone else what their reasons are for having sex....
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Hopefully he can get bjs.
    lol yes plenty haha

    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    -Wanting to do it only with one person
    -perhaps someone gets a bit too emotionally attached during sex so they would rather wait so that they don't suffer the heart break...
    -Insecurities so they want to wait
    -The feeling of security in marriage
    - Wanting to truly be in love and not have sex confuse things.
    -Always a risk of pregnancy
    -Simply just liking their virginity.

    Idk :dontknow: (used the cosmopolitan not come up with some of those).
    all these reasons tbh
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    Just do it up the butt, then you'll still be a 'virgin', simples.
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    (Original post by Inazuma)
    Just do it up the butt, then you'll still be a 'virgin', simples.
    ew no never up the butt lol
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    I agree.


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