The Life of Leviathan – Depression, Bullying, Fatigue and Other Obstacles

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    PRSOM at the moment, but this is one of the few blogs on here that've managed to be insightful on every entry.
    I'd never even heard of Aspergerese before your blog, keep it up
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    You also get bonus points for liking Iceland and Alestorm :yep:
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    PRSOM at the moment, but this is one of the few blogs on here that've managed to be insightful on every entry.
    I'd never even heard of Aspergerese before your blog, keep it up
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    You also get bonus points for liking Iceland and Alestorm :yep:
    Thank you so much for your kind words Zargabaath! You have no idea how happy they make me
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    Leviathan1741
    Hi ! 1st I read your blog, very interesting :yep:
    Tag me in next time please
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    Leviathan1741
    Hi ! 1st I read your blog, very interesting :yep:
    Tag me in next time please
    Aww thank you FrenchUnicorn! I will make sure to tag you! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    Aww thank you FrenchUnicorn! I will make sure to tag you! :hugs:
    YW :3
    And thanks :jumphug:
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    My Anxiety and How I Conquered It

    Hi everyone! In this post I will be talking a bit about my difficulties with anxiety, and how I have managed to become more confident and overcome my fears.

    Although I have always been a relatively anxious person in general, the thing which terrified me the most for a long time was going shopping. Just the thought of going into busy, noisy shops, interacting with cashiers, and generally how much stuff there was really made me feel nervous and overwhelmed. The fear began when I was around 11 years old, on a family camping trip. One day while we were there, I headed over to the campsite shop to buy an ice cream. However, as I approached the door to go in, I suddenly became paralysed with nerves. To this day, I have no idea what caused that to happen, as I’d had no problem going into shops prior to that, but for some reason, that time I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    From that point onwards, I suffered from anxiety whenever I so much as thought about going shopping. I never got an official diagnosis of anxiety, however I did feel anxious and become short of breath if anyone even mentioned going into town, or to a shop or a café. This fear was so strong that I actually went through several years without once going into town, as I just couldn’t face it.

    This year though, I decided that enough was enough, and I was determined to get over my fear once and for all!

    The way I overcame my anxiety was by simply forcing myself to go and do the things which made me uncomfortable. In this case, going into town and looking around different shops. My mum and I had been invited to a wedding, and that gave me the perfect opportunity to confront my shopping fears. For about 2 weeks, I went into town with my mum almost every day for a couple of hours at a time, looking around various shops for dresses, shoes and so on to wear at the wedding. After a few days of doing this, I realised that going into shops wasn’t actually as bad as I thought, and by the time the wedding came around, I was no longer anxious about going to town! My mum has described my transformation as outstanding, and even my best friend noticed my newly found confidence and commented “what have they done with the real Anna?” (yes that’s my name)

    Before I overcame my anxiety, my mum often said to me that the more I do something, the more I can do of that thing. I never really believed her, but after forcing myself to go shopping and conquering my related anxiety, I really think it’s true!

    Essentially, the message I hope to convey with this blog post is that the more you DO, the more you CAN DO. So if the thought of doing something makes you anxious and you feel like you’ll never be able to do it, with the right support and approach, you WILL be able to overcome your fears, no matter how long-standing they are.

    My next post is going to be on a slightly different issue: fatigue. It has been quite a significant issue for me, so I want to talk about how I have managed to go from being completely exhausted all of the time, to having more energy and being able to function (almost) normally!

    Thank you all for reading!
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    Leviathan1741
    Very good read again

    I'm sorry you had to go through anxiety issues , but I am glad you could go through It !! Well done for that girl !!! *clap clap*

    "The more you do, the more you can do" I relate so much to this, and I totally agree ! Besides, what you did is clearly the proof that it's true :yep:

    Thanks for sharing your experience and also thanks for tagging me ! :five:

    Looking forward to read more about you

    Lovelove :hugs:
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    This is a great post OP! My anxiety wasn't so simple but I love your fighting attitude and it's give me new inspiration to go out there and face the things that make me anxious (phone calls, people with leaflets in the street...) and try and spin them into something more positive the way that you have!
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    Leviathan1741
    Very good read again

    I'm sorry you had to go through anxiety issues , but I am glad you could go through It !! Well done for that girl !!! *clap clap*

    "The more you do, the more you can do" I relate so much to this, and I totally agree ! Besides, what you did is clearly the proof that it's true :yep:

    Thanks for sharing your experience and also thanks for tagging me ! :five:

    Looking forward to read more about you

    Lovelove :hugs:
    Thank you so much for your kind words FrenchUnicorn! I'm glad I got through it too, I hated not being able to go into town and do the things that other teenagers can do with no issues!

    I shall tag you in the next one too, I will be posting it on Friday I think! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    Thank you so much for your kind words FrenchUnicorn! I'm glad I got through it too, I hated not being able to go into town and do the things that other teenagers can do with no issues!

    I shall tag you in the next one too, I will be posting it on Friday I think! :hugs:
    You're welcome :3

    And yes that's totally understandable :/ btw today are still suffering from anxiety ? I reckon it's much better now, but is it totally gone ? I definitely hope so :yep:

    Also, hope you like shopping now :ahee: :ahee:

    And thanks for letting me know :jive:
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    (Original post by bethwalker85)
    This is a great post OP! My anxiety wasn't so simple but I love your fighting attitude and it's give me new inspiration to go out there and face the things that make me anxious (phone calls, people with leaflets in the street...) and try and spin them into something more positive the way that you have!
    Thank you so much for your lovely comment, beth! It makes me sooo happy to know that I have inspired you to face your fears - that's exactly why I created this blog!

    I also have anxiety when it comes to phone calls, I can answer them okay, but I'm always afraid to make them because I never really know who's going to answer, like what if I don't recognise them? But, that is another thing I am trying to get to grips with, and hopefully we will both overcome our phone call anxiety soon!

    You can do it!! :hugs:

    Also, would you like me to tag you in future posts?
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    Thank you so much for your lovely comment, beth! It makes me sooo happy to know that I have inspired you to face your fears - that's exactly why I created this blog!

    I also have anxiety when it comes to phone calls, I can answer them okay, but I'm always afraid to make them because I never really know who's going to answer, like what if I don't recognise them? But, that is another thing I am trying to get to grips with, and hopefully we will both overcome our phone call anxiety soon!

    You can do it!! :hugs:

    Also, would you like me to tag you in future posts?
    Numbers I haven't saved make me anxious too I just refuse to answer them, maybe I'll vow to answer them now on even if they end up being a cold caller.

    Yes please, I enjoy reading these
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    My Experiences of Bullying in High School

    Hey guys! In this post, I’d like to go into more detail on my own personal experiences of bullying. If you read FireFreezer77’s blog, then you may have read a lot of this already in my guest post. However, I have added a bit more detail to this version, specifically on how I believe my Asperger’s contributed to me being bullied, to give my previous post a bit of context.

    The first type of bullying that I experienced in high school was bullying via intimidation, rather than verbal or physical harassment. There was a group of girls in the year above me, who, for whatever reason, would hang out in the girl’s toilets, so that I’d often encounter them whenever I went in there. Being a very shy and reserved student, I made for an easy target, and the girls would regularly make me uncomfortable in different ways, for example by giving me disgusted looks whenever they saw me, sitting on the floor and then making rude comments when I stepped over them, and deliberately putting their bags on the sinks, then whispering to each other when I asked them to move them. On one occasion they even went so far as to put soap all over the handle of the door to the toilets, so that when I went to leave, I got soap all over my hands, which I couldn't wash off because by that time, the girls had moved and were sitting in the way on top of the sinks!

    The other type of bullying I experienced during high school was more verbal, but this time it was certain classmates who were responsible. Because I was so shy, I rarely spoke in lessons, and would generally only speak if I was directly asked a question by my teachers. My classmates knew I was quiet, but some of them decided to take advantage of that fact. They would often try to annoy me by taking my pens or books and not giving them back until I spoke or said a certain phrase (which was often rude!), and asked me questions like “Do you EVER talk?” and “What’s the matter? How come you never say anything?” It was this aspect of their bullying which irritated and upset me most. I thought, why can’t they just leave me alone? Why do they care if I don’t talk?

    The way I dealt with them was by asking my teachers if I could move seats, so that I no longer had to sit near them. This worked in the majority of my classes, but there were still a couple of people who just wouldn’t stop picking on me. I didn’t think there was a whole lot more I could do, I didn’t want to risk making things worse by making a big fuss. In the end, I simply decided to ignore their teasing and deprive them of the reaction that they wanted.

    I think that my Asperger’s was one of the factors which led to me being picked on, mainly because it meant that I was extremely shy and reserved. I didn’t have many friends either, which meant that I was often on my own a lot of the time, and spent many hours wandering the corridors by myself and sitting down to eat my lunch alone. Additionally, I had very little confidence during high school, so I was reluctant to speak up about what was going on for fear that I wouldn’t be taken seriously.

    Of course though, bullying doesn’t just affect people with AS, but people with other conditions too, and even neurotypical people can find themselves being picked on, especially if they are quiet! If you’re currently experiencing bullying, then please remember that you’re not alone, even if it seems like no one else is suffering the same ill treatment. Make sure to tell your parents or whoever is looking after you so that they are aware of it, and try to get in touch with someone such as your head of year, and inform them of what is going on. You don’t have to suffer in silence, so don’t be afraid to say something, no matter how insignificant or unsolvable your problems may seem!

    That’s all on Asperger’s syndrome and bullying for now, if I think of anything else I’d like to say, then I shall add it into a later post. Next, I’m planning to talk about my struggles with anxiety, specifically anxiety related to going out in public, to busy and/or noisy environments, and how I have managed to overcome my fears!

    Thanks for reading!
    Thank you for this insightful post, Leviathan, I'm sure many people, aspergers or not, will relate to negative high school experiences of bullying, myself included. I'm curious, how tall are you? I never got much bullying off other girls in high school but I did seem to get quite a bit of trouble off lads for reasons I never understood
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    (Original post by bethwalker85)
    Numbers I haven't saved make me anxious too I just refuse to answer them, maybe I'll vow to answer them now on even if they end up being a cold caller.

    Yes please, I enjoy reading these
    That's a good idea! At least that way you'll get used to answering the phone, even if you end up hanging up straight away haha!

    Okay, I will!
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    You're welcome :3

    And yes that's totally understandable :/ btw today are still suffering from anxiety ? I reckon it's much better now, but is it totally gone ? I definitely hope so :yep:

    Also, hope you like shopping now :ahee: :ahee:

    And thanks for letting me know :jive:
    I'm not suffering it anymore in terms of going to shops, however I still haven't mastered cafe's yet, so I will have to start working on that soon!
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Thank you for this insightful post, Leviathan, I'm sure many people, aspergers or not, will relate to negative high school experiences of bullying, myself included. I'm curious, how tall are you? I never got much bullying off other girls in high school but I did seem to get quite a bit of trouble off lads for reasons I never understood
    Thank you AngryRedhead, I'm glad you've enjoyed reading it!

    I'm quite small, only 5'3
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    I'm not suffering it anymore in terms of going to shops, however I still haven't mastered cafe's yet, so I will have to start working on that soon!
    Well that's a huge step !! :yep: if you could go shopping I'm sure you'll be fine in a cafe ! Maybe not at 1st of course because I suppose it's not simple , but you seem determinate you'll go through it :cool:
    :five:
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    Thank you AngryRedhead, I'm glad you've enjoyed reading it!

    I'm quite small, only 5'3
    Oh. That'll probably be why, I was taller (and still am taller than) the majority of girls which is probably why I got left alone. That and my tendency to hit and slap girls that did try and bully me haha
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    (Original post by FrenchUnicorn)
    Well that's a huge step !! :yep: if you could go shopping I'm sure you'll be fine in a cafe ! Maybe not at 1st of course because I suppose it's not simple , but you seem determinate you'll go through it :cool:
    :five:
    Yeah hopefully! I have to get used to them, especially because I will be starting university this year :yep:
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    (Original post by Leviathan1741)
    Yeah hopefully! I have to get used to them, especially because I will be starting university this year :yep:
    Cool !! What are you going to study ?
 
 
 
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