Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Boyfriend is really clingy and won't let me revise for A Levels watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JS31294)
    What works for me and my boyfriend (He works and is at college once a week as part of his apprenticeship, i'm at uni) when we need time to both revise/do work. We set up a schedule, so i may see him Mondays,Wednesdays and Thursdays but i'll tell him in advance 'Look for the next couple of weeks i need time to revise, so if you wouldnt mind could we just see eachother once a week until its all settled and we get back to normal after exams'.

    What also works is if you say right i need this amount of time to revise, so i cant talk/see you but when my exams are over lets do something nice go for a meal/out for drinks etc. To get that time back together after its all back to normal.

    Just tell him straight lovely, you can't be pussyfooting around them, you need to just tell them straight and if he goes in a mood with you then fine but he'll soon realise how stupid hes been and come running back anyway.

    You'll be fine love, tell him straight, set up a schedule if need be and then when things get back to normal have a nice meal out to celebrate! xx
    Thank you so much, that's a great help x 💙
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
    Attachments Pending Approval
  1. File Type: jpg dj khalid.jpg (221.6 KB)
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Go somewhere else to revise libraries, cafes even a local park when the weather is nice, me and my best mate used to love taking our books to the park and sitting in the sun. Turn your phone off so he can't contact you. Talk to him, Tell you need to work and if you don't you'll fail your exams.
    Offline

    20
    He is just a waste of space, literally.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
    I left my boyfriend for my exams. He kept saying "you work too hard" and I finally sent him a long paragraph about why working is important to me and how I needed his support right now, and he said "I need to take care of my own needs too." That's when I lost my patience (at least internally).
    He needs to respect you and your space. If your relationship can only survive by fulfilling his need for constant validation it is not healthy. Either go to the library to work (if you go to an independant/non chain cafe, buy a drink every hour!! I've seen cafes go out of business because they let too many people stay and work), or ask him for a two week break.

    If he won't allow you that, consider that he might be suffocating you. Would your soul survive long term?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by sxphieds)
    I left my boyfriend for my exams. He kept saying "you work too hard" and I finally sent him a long paragraph about why working is important to me and how I needed his support right now, and he said "I need to take care of my own needs too." That's when I lost my patience (at least internally).
    He needs to respect you and your space. If your relationship can only survive by fulfilling his need for constant validation it is not healthy. Either go to the library to work (if you go to an independant/non chain cafe, buy a drink every hour!! I've seen cafes go out of business because they let too many people stay and work), or ask him for a two week break.

    If he won't allow you that, consider that he might be suffocating you. Would your soul survive long term?
    You are so brave. I don't think I could do that... Personally I don't think it's something to break up over because I know my boyfriend would understand. That's really admirable though, I hope you do really well x
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's one problem I have though, everyone is saying to revise until about 8:30 or 9 but the thing is that he works 12 hour shifts because he's got a managerial role. So he has to wake up at 3 in the morning to be at work for 5, and obviously I don't want to be keeping him up because he needs sleep, I've spoke. To him and he doesn't mind waiting but it's just a bit mean I suppose
    Why don't you agree to chat for half an hour or similar before he goes to sleep? Then he goes to bed and you continue working for a bit longer. You'd have to be 'strict' in keeping it to the time agreed and not spend hours talking, but if he needs to sleep then it might act as an incentive for him to keep it short.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
    Tell him to grow up and realise you NEED time to yourself, especially when you've got exams coming up..sounds like he loves you, which is cute..but he also needs to respect the fact that when you're at home you can't just switch off (until the summer at least) and that its your time to study
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Metrododo)
    A's before Baes :smug:
    So real! A boyfriend who doesn't let you revise sounds weird. Avoid, move on
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: May 9, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.