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Parents wont let me move out.. what excuse shall i use? Watch

    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    They can, true, but that is over-ruled by the go both ways.



    I suspect it's a big financial thing also.

    Nevermind though, if you're happy to promote fully grown adults being controlled by their parents for the possibility that you'll get to stay in an ill-equipped family home come senile retirement.. go right ahead.
    Like I said, respect and obedience and putting parents first which is a big thing in our culture
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like I said, respect and obedience and putting parents first which is a big thing in our culture
    You surely cannot put your parents ahead of everything you want for yourself. May as well become a slave to them.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    You surely cannot put your parents ahead of everything you want for yourself. May as well become a slave to them.
    If there's a legit reason for them not wanting me to do something then yh I would listen and put them first
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If there's a legit reason for them not wanting me to do something then yh I would listen and put them first
    What if their legit reason wasn't in your best interests?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just gtfo plz you haven't contributed anything useful
    Actually if you look to the first page of the thread, I offered OP some useful advice. I'd argue you're the one not contributing anything of value sweetheart.
    • #3
    #3

    Apart from freedom (and what you do with it), why do you want to move out? Do you have good intentions? Do your parents trust you? I believe its all about the person themselves, I have a twin and she is the complete opposite of me. Like she's never been with a guy, studious that kind of thing whereas I, on the other hand, am skeptical of my double life being found out lol. What I'm trying to say is that if you really wanted to move out just to create wholesome experiences, your parents wouldn't be holding you back. That being said, you would also have the grades to prove you're all in just to study. If you want to move out just to have freedom and drink/have sex/party etc, then they'll probably know you already want to do that. As for your sisters commuting from home, did they even have the courage to ask your parents to move out?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    What if their legit reason wasn't in your best interests?
    Like what
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    So I haven't had this problem myself but my friend is in the exact same situation. My advice is:

    1) Defintely as other people have said, explain how the uni you want to go to is better for the course/higher in the league tables/etc. than ones in your area and so this would be better for your future and for career options.
    2) My friend has the support of her aunt as some of her cousins have moved out for uni - do you have anyone like this? A relative, family friend, maybe even a teacher? It can help to have an adult on your side, your parents might be more likely to listen to them.
    3) If they're concerned about the uni lifestyle I think some unis offer 'quiet' halls or even female only ones, which might put their minds at rest. This isn't everywhere though and I havent researched it myself, so you'd have to look into it a bit more.

    At the end of the day it doesn't sound like persuading them is going to be easy, but good luck!!!
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Hann95)
    Actually if you look to the first page of the thread, I offered OP some useful advice. I'd argue you're the one not contributing anything of value sweetheart.
    Sweetheart go butt in someone else's convo
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Like what
    Like wanting to move out to go to uni, which, absolutely is in your best interests for a huge range of reasons.
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    (Original post by microwsoft)
    Ok to start of, im a 19 y/o female who comes from an asian family where my parents are reasonably strict but only to an extent. Both of my sisters have gone to uni but lived at home; a go-to excuse my mum uses whenever i bring up the topic of moving out for uni

    QUESTION REPOSTED- most of the damn question didnt post:closedeyes:
    Aww, your parents only care about you and want to protect you. That kinda makes me sad...

    But at the same time, you are 19 an adult and so shouldn't need to give an excuse to move out while at university. Besides, I'm guessing you'd come back over the holidays to your parents. Living away at university is a really important experience.

    Maybe say "Its only during term time I'll be back over the holidays, and I really feel it is important for me to gain personal independence now that I'm an adult. If I don't start looking after myself now, how will I ever when I'm older. I have to move out eventually."

    That would work with my parents, but then again, I'm white and male so could be a different situation for you. However, my parents are also quite strict but keen for me to be self-sufficient.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    Like wanting to move out to go to uni, which, absolutely is in your best interests for a huge range of reasons.
    Then I would listen to them if it makes them happy
    It's not such a big deal not moving out, I can live with it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sweetheart go butt in someone else's convo
    I think someone has a little growing up to do. My last comment to you will be this - casual racism is not okay and to assume and imply that white people dont respect or care for their parents is offensive and putting "no offense" or "I'm not trying to be racist" in front of your comment does not change the fact that your comment was ignorant and offensive. Although I wouldn't expect anything less of an anonymous poster.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then I would listen to them if it makes them happy
    It's not such a big deal not moving out, I can live with it
    Can you live with it when they decide your partner? Or your job? Or that they want you to move back to another country to them? Or they want you to split up with your partner? Or they tell you to quit your job?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    Can you live with it when they decide your partner? Or your job? Or that they want you to move back to another country to them? Or they want you to split up with your partner? Or they tell you to quit your job?
    yeahh... they ain't like that...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeahh... they ain't like that...
    Yours may not be..
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    (Original post by microwsoft)
    Ok to start of, im a 19 y/o female who comes from an asian family where my parents are reasonably strict but only to an extent. Both of my sisters have gone to uni but lived at home; a go-to excuse my mum uses whenever i bring up the topic of moving out for uni

    QUESTION REPOSTED- most of the damn question didnt post:closedeyes:
    Perhaps ask them why they would rather you would stay at home? I don't know your circumstances but I know when I applied to university my mam was worried about the cost of things, although I was the first in my family to go to university so she didn't know about the loans and grants available. If they will be financing you then you would have to make a very strong case for moving out, if however you are going to get a student loan perhaps demonstrate to your parents that you understand how you would manage this money the next 3 years (look in to rent costs, living etc, the potential of a part time job).

    However advice I'd give to those applying to university is take a long time to consider the cost of your education and living, I was lucky enough to start pre 2012 but those who start after this are being well and truly shafted. With the average graduate now with 40k of debt and the interest rate currently at about 3.9% (which will only go up with inflation) you need to be earning at least over 40,000 just to cover the interest on your loan!

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    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Reue)
    Yours may not be..
    A normal parent isn't that controlling by the time you're old. It's mostly when you're young and careless which I still believe under 20 is
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    (Original post by microwsoft)
    Ok to start of, im a 19 y/o female who comes from an asian family where my parents are reasonably strict but only to an extent. Both of my sisters have gone to uni but lived at home; a go-to excuse my mum uses whenever i bring up the topic of moving out for uni

    QUESTION REPOSTED- most of the damn question didnt post:closedeyes:
    Choose a course at a uni you can't commute to daily.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A normal parent isn't that controlling by the time you're old. It's mostly when you're young and careless which I still believe under 20 is
    Fortunately in the UK we believe it to be under 18, so adults at that age or over are free to make their own choices.
 
 
 
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