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Friendship In Islam advice x Watch

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    If you're friends with a woman, indeed, if you get to see her face - she will cause you to sin against Allah. It seems as if Islam only sees woman as sexual creatures.



    This is a curious irony. In seeking purity, it makes female relations necessarily sexual, which actually has the opposite effect of causing more sinful sex between men and women because there is no consideration of a holy friendship!

    Perhaps this explains why Pakistan is the top consumer of pornography in the world and why Egypt, Iran, Morocco, Saudi Arabia, and Turkey are all in the top 10. (Source: http://postober.com/general/top-10-c...the-most-porn/)


    I don't think the West has got it right on this issue either with its casual relationships but I think the idea that Islam has the solution on this is also faulty. There must be something else. Thoughts?


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    (Original post by Cobalt_)
    Assuming you're from Britain. We live in the same society.
    So what you're essentially saying is, you're happy to isolate and refuse to integrate within society. Pretty unproductive if you ask me.

    Pretty weak argument to be honest.
    Surely, if you were that close to the deen you would have enough willpower to resist anything occurring and you would be able to self prevent yourself. Rather than isolating yourself with ~50% of the country.
    To be accepted by the society a female does need a male friend and vice versa. Talking when necessary is another thing but we are talking about being friends here like a female would be with their female friends and same for males.

    It is to prevent causing that risk even if you are the most controllable person on this earth, it is a rule that must be apllied to all. As anyone can say nah I am not like that and can resist etc but that very person ends up developing feelings in the friendship and then trouble starts or can from there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can you tell me the etiquette about talking to the opposite gender?

    And can you keep in touch through texting or Facebook?😊😊
    Watch this video it'll help

    https://youtu.be/WWPJIFvcvaA

    No we shouldn't.
    You may think this is extreme, but these strict rulings are absolutely necessary especially in today's society.
    (Original post by Legendary Quest)
    There we go then.
    Pornography isn't mentioned in the Quran or hadith either, does that make it permissible to watch?
    Allah has given us aql for a reason :rolleyes:

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    (Original post by james1221212)
    *sorry i meant non muslim, ****k i hate autocorrect
    Guys that was just a troll chill XD XD
    On a serious note yeah james I dont socialise with black people either
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    (Original post by james1221212)
    *sorry i meant non muslim, ****k i hate autocorrect
    Omg i mean non-muslims!! Flips sake sorry about that Im not racist Im just anti-non-muslim. Flippin swype keyboard...
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Pornography isn't mentioned in the Quran or hadith either, does that make it permissible to watch?
    Allah has given us aql for a reason :rolleyes:

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    Right. Because watching two (or more) people having sexual intercourse is comparable with having a mutual relationship with a person who is the opposite gender. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Banana208)
    I'm not that religious myself( although I'm on my way in trying to change that.) they asked whether or not it was permissible. The answer I think technically is no. But I did say at the beginning that I myself have many male friends- I'm in-differential about it, I could go without being close to lots of guys but in the past I chose not to.
    Plus it's advised- not entrenched.
    Most scholars actually agree its not something which is advised but something which is most definitively forbidden.

    But I respect that, there is no need to isolate yourself from the opposite gender.

    IMO people who go as far to isolate themselves dont have enough will power to prevent something occurring themselves.
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    (Original post by Legendary Quest)
    Right. Because watching two (or more) people having sexual intercourse is comparable with having a mutual relationship with a person who is the opposite gender. :rolleyes:
    http://i58.tinypic.com/1058g7b.jpg
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    (Original post by h333)
    To be accepted by the society a female does need a male friend and vice versa. Talking when necessary is another thing but we are talking about being friends here like a female would be with their female friends and same for males.

    It is to prevent causing that risk even if you are the most controllable person on this earth, it is a rule that must be apllied to all. As anyone can say nah I am not like that and can resist etc but that very person ends up developing feelings in the friendship and then trouble starts or can from there.
    Never used the word accepted.
    I said to integrate, which is fact. How can you integrate within a open society if you're unprepared to make friends of the opposite gender. Networking is a key skill in most middle management+ jobs.

    Before you tell me, "Oh talking is fine and if its required for work its allowed" Its the same thing. Same argument, women and men alike could develop feelings to another person just talking or networking.
    Thats another issue here, the word friend is so subjective. It's virtually impossible to not be "friends" with a person of the opposite gender in a free society. Even talking can be classified as "friends".

    Hate to break it to you but even most non-muslims manage to stay friends without anything occurring. They dont even have the fear of jahannam behind them. Most people have self control, I personally think you're being naive. You're giving the human race/Muslims in particular less credit then they deserve.
    If you develop feelings then you should be able to cut that person off if required.

    Thought crime isnt illegal within Islam, you're judged on your actions and them actions are your responsibility. If you cant handle your own actions thats your problem, thats an insecurity in your religion and willpower.

    Guess we will have to agree to disagree here.
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    Thank you! There's no harm being friends with the opposite gender, as long as it doesn't become something more!
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by MevMev)
    ok kids lets just establish something

    friends with opposite gender is absolutely fine shall i tell u why- because u dont have intentions to make out with your friends do u- if u do they're not you're friends anymore ur trying to turn them into you're boyf or gf and yeah thats not allowed till after marriage

    friends are fine as long as they stay as friends but i think certain ppl on this thread dont have a good idea of what the what friend means
    being friends with them alone is haram so basically agaisnt islam and bad. saying you dont have bad intentions is a bad excuse and has already been thrown out 1400 years ago in the time of the sahaba

    Abdullah ibn Utbah reported: I heard Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, say, “Verily, in the time of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, the people would be judged by revelation, but the revelation has ended. Now we judge you according to your outward deeds. Whoever shows us good, we will trust him and favor him and it is not for us to judge his inner secrets, for Allah will hold him accountable for those. Whoever shows us evil, then we will not trust him or believe in him even if he claims his intention is good.”Source: Sahih Bukhari 2498Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhariعَبْدَ اللَّهِ بْنَ عُتْبَةَ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ بْنَ الْخَطَّابِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَقُولُ إِنَّ أُنَاسًا كَانُوا يُؤْخَذُونَ بِالْوَحْيِ فِي عَهْدِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَإِنَّ الْوَحْيَ قَدْ انْقَطَعَ وَإِنَّمَا نَأْخُذُكُمْ الْآنَ بِمَا ظَهَرَ لَنَا مِنْ أَعْمَالِكُمْ فَمَنْ أَظْهَرَ لَنَا خَيْرًا أَمِنَّاهُ وَقَرَّبْنَاهُ وَلَيْسَ إِلَيْنَا مِنْ سَرِيرَتِهِ شَيْءٌ اللَّهُ يُحَاسِبُهُ فِي سَرِيرَتِهِ وَمَنْ أَظْهَرَ لَنَا سُوءًا لَمْ نَأْمَنْهُ وَلَمْ نُصَدِّقْهُ وَإِنْ قَالَ إِنَّ سَرِيرَتَهُ حَسَنَةٌ2498 صحيح البخاري كِتَاب الشَّهَادَاتِ بَاب الشُّهَدَاءِ الْعُدُولِShare this:
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    (Original post by Green167)
    Thank you! There's no harm being friends with the opposite gender, as long as it doesn't become something more!
    Going to assume this was directed at me,
    Thanks
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    Every Muslim woman has secret non-Muslim friends.
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    (Original post by King Scorchy)
    Every Muslim woman has secret non-Muslim friends.
    I really don't.
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    Theres no harm in it unless it turns into somwthing more than just friends or theres constant flirting etc.. Living in the west, its quite hard to not talk to males or become friends with them.. Like in school for example
    • #4
    #4

    I'm a muslim girl and I'm friends with guys. Though I try not to be too close with them because God knows what they have in mind lol. As for the non Muslims, yeah it's completely fine. Just don't get influenced by them if they do something you're not supposed to do in Islam eg: go drinking/clubbing stuff like that.
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    how do you expect to just have muslim friends. you havent properly integrated into society. if you just wanted people all around you to be muslim, why did you come to this country in the first place?
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    (Original post by Cobalt_)
    Never used the word accepted.
    I said to integrate, which is fact. How can you integrate within a open society if you're unprepared to make friends of the opposite gender. Networking is a key skill in most middle management+ jobs.

    Before you tell me, "Oh talking is fine and if its required for work its allowed" Its the same thing. Same argument, women and men alike could develop feelings to another person just talking or networking.
    Thats another issue here, the word friend is so subjective. It's virtually impossible to not be "friends" with a person of the opposite gender in a free society. Even talking can be classified as "friends".

    Hate to break it to you but even most non-muslims manage to stay friends without anything occurring. They dont even have the fear of jahannam behind them. Most people have self control, I personally think you're being naive. You're giving the human race/Muslims in particular less credit then they deserve.
    If you develop feelings then you should be able to cut that person off if required.

    Thought crime isnt illegal within Islam, you're judged on your actions and them actions are your responsibility. If you cant handle your own actions thats your problem, thats an insecurity in your religion and willpower.

    Guess we will have to agree to disagree here.
    Look I don't want to be dishonest here and say that boys and girls can be close friends. I still hold that view and majority cases it is the case they can't. I believe the creator knows us better than we know ourselves as humans as he created us hence it is specifically restricted to refrain from getting too close to opposite gender and conversing when not necessary alone. And if you want to know about the person then there is a way to meet but not alone and respectively with a member of the family being there too (mahram).

    And you said to integrate but then I am a girl with no male friends and nor did I have any in the past. I conversed with them in terms of school when necessary. Still I am part of the society and life goes on so it is not necessary to have male friends or vice versa for males to integrate.

    And in Islam the rules are there and I am no one to change it for my own desires etc. In fact changing it to match the view of the society just shows how weak the religion is and that it is not from God. A true religion will remain as it is unless the it has been stated specifiy for some cases.

    But yeah I respect your view and understand where you are coming from. But I will still hold my view. Peace.
 
 
 
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