Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    So double barreling is a one generation only thing? Doesn't sound very workable.

    It is workable, as it has worked for many generations.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    It is workable, as it has worked for many generations.
    Double barreled surnames have not worked for many generations, otherwise we'd have the ridiculous octo-barreled names mentioned earlier.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shanayjb)
    Women predominantly take the name of their husband in heterosexual marriages, does this contradict contempory women's rights?
    I wouldn't say it violates any rights, but I think we as a society do posses stupid prejudices and impose stupid expectations on people regarding their gender/sex - this is just one such example. Certainly women should be allowed to take their husband's surnames if they wish, but we need to drop all the silly judgments about people who don't.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I've made this exact same argument when people suggest "just double-barrel your surnames" to me regarding my marriage.

    To go one further, what happens when Mary Fitzwilliam-Jones-Thomas-Jenkins meets John Smith-Bloggs-Brown-Ramzan? What about their kids? The amalgam names would be even more hilarious. Perhaps take the first letter from each name?

    It gets very ridiculous very quickly.
    Having precisely this problem right now. My fianceé and our families don't seem to share my concerns about double-barrelling and it's becoming difficult to find an alternative agreeable to all... double-barrelling just cannot work as a long-term solution lol.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Implication)
    Having precisely this problem right now. My fianceé and our families don't seem to share my concerns about double-barrelling and it's becoming difficult to find an alternative agreeable to all... double-barrelling just cannot work as a long-term solution lol.
    Yeah, we considered amalgams but they didn't work very well for our names.

    Ultimately it was just easiest for my wife to take my name, so we went with that.

    Although any option other than taking your husband's name is a pain given it will involve him having to officially change his name external to the whole marriage business.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shanayjb)
    Women predominantly take the name of their husband in heterosexual marriages, does this contradict contempory women's rights?
    What women's rights are these?

    It is tradition to take your husband's last name, but no where in law does it say you have to. You can also keep his name even after a divorce. And there are a lot of women who want to be rid of their awful maiden name.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Double barreled surnames have not worked for many generations, otherwise we'd have the ridiculous octo-barreled names mentioned earlier.

    Oh, I might of misunderstood, but to simple things out,the woman should take on a single surname from her husband.
    And thus the children shall inherit the single surname
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    Oh, I might of misunderstood, but to simple things out,the woman should take on a single surname from her husband.
    And thus the children shall inherit the single surname
    Why can't the husband take the wife's name?

    I agree that having a single surname is practical and many people are overlooking this practicality when discussing keeping different surnames or double barreling them. But why does it have to be the woman who sacrifices?
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Why can't the husband take the wife's name?





    I agree that having a single surname is practical and many people are overlooking this practicality when discussing keeping different surnames or double barreling them. But why does it have to be the woman who sacrifices?


    Because the husband is expected to propose, because the husband is expected to finance the wedding.

    If i get down on one knee and propose to you,and you accept, so you already accept circumstances of marriage, and therefore should have no problem in taking my surname

    When you adhere and follow the mental and physical virtues of marriage,it just makes little sense in questioning.

    Sacrifice?

    Chances are that you get assets and spousal support if a divorce occurs
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    Because the husband is expected to propose, because the husband is expected to finance the wedding.

    If i get down on one knee and propose to you,and you accept, so you already accept circumstances of marriage, and therefore should have no problem in taking my surname

    When you adhere and follow the mental and physical virtues of marriage,it just makes little sense in questioning.

    Sacrifice?

    Chances are that you get assets and spousal support if a divorce occurs
    Traditionally the father of the bride pays, not the husband. At any rate, the entire concept you spouted is rather backwards - women are perfectly able to propose and most couples jointly fund their wedding these days.

    The circumstances of marriage are that you make a lifelong commitment to each other. Anything beyond that is just what you have decided to tack on and in no way suggests the woman should be secondary in the partnership.

    I'm also sure what divorce has to do with giving up your name, but incidentally, assets gained through the marriage are typically split roughly 50/50, so whether the woman gains or loses is entirely dependent on their earnings vs the man's. Likewise the husband could be the primary caretaker if there are children and she would have to support him.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    Traditionally the father of the bride pays, not the husband. At any rate, the entire concept you spouted is rather backwards - women are perfectly able to propose and most couples jointly fund their wedding these days.



    The circumstances of marriage are that you make a lifelong commitment to each other. Anything beyond that is just what you have decided to tack on and in no way suggests the woman should be secondary in the partnership.



    I'm also sure what divorce has to do with giving up your name, but incidentally, assets gained through the marriage are typically split roughly 50/50, so whether the woman gains or loses is entirely dependent on their earnings vs the man's. Likewise the husband could be the primary caretaker if there are children and she would have to support him.

    How would a woman propose to her boyfriend?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    How would a woman propose to her boyfriend?
    In much the same way that a man would propose to his girlfriend I would imagine. She might get on one knee, she might arrange a ridiculous flashmob to sing bruno mars, she might have a plane fly the question in the sky.

    I think you lack imagination.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    In much the same way that a man would propose to his girlfriend I would imagine. She might get on one knee, she might arrange a ridiculous flashmob to sing bruno mars, she might have a plane fly the question in the sky.



    I think you lack imagination.

    I do not lack imagination, but the truth is most women expect the man to make the first move when it comes to courtship and marriage.
    But tbh I would feel robbed if my gf proposed to me.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    I do not lack imagination, but the truth is most women expect the man to make the first move when it comes to courtship and marriage.
    But tbh I would feel robbed if my gf proposed to me.
    I'm not going to pretend male proposing isn't the norm, but it's perfectly possible for a woman to propose.

    Realistically though I doubt you would end up with the type of woman who would be likely to propose to you - I suspect you'd kill each other before you got anywhere near that far. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, we're not going to be compatible with everyone (or even most people).
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Elivercury)
    I'm not going to pretend male proposing isn't the norm, but it's perfectly possible for a woman to propose.



    Realistically though I doubt you would end up with the type of woman who would be likely to propose to you - I suspect you'd kill each other before you got anywhere near that far. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, we're not going to be compatible with everyone (or even most people).

    Indeed I would not, as I would like a conservative woman.
    Traditional values or old fashioned.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I think it's flattering that a guy would trust me with their last name, and to be openly welcomed into their family. I do have to admit that I really like people that double barrel and start a new name though!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by shanayjb)
    Women predominantly take the name of their husband in heterosexual marriages, does this contradict contempory women's rights?
    It's tradition - I would expect the wife to take my surname to be honest.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's tradition. Stop trying to be offended by something. It's not forced.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cadherin)
    It's tradition - I would expect the wife to take my surname to be honest.

    Exactly, it makes sense,why break tradition?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Blue_Mason)
    Exactly, it makes sense,why break tradition?
    Why hold to traditions? Something doesn't magically become worth doing just because 'its traditional'. I mean yeah sure if you can't decide, why not go with tradition? But if you actually have a reason for not taking the husband's name (eg you prefer the wife's), why the hell would you?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Poll
Do you like carrot cake?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.