Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Is being a 'good guy' a bad thing? Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I like this response!
    Danke schoen!

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Ya'know, this is perfectly good advice and I strongly recommend the OP follows this, but...

    ...does he really want to settle for women who FINALLY find him attractive because his physique has improved and he's got a solid career/financial situation? I know I wouldn't. For me, personally, if I start attracting women the moment my professional life gets off to a good start (which it will), then I will not ever be interested in dating ever again.
    It's just one component, and not the be-all and end-all. But on the flip-side, why should someone settle for an aimless gnome with no or little direction in their lives? I feel like, as a man, my ability to take life by the scruff of the neck and make some decent money is a reflection of many other positive character traits that people will generally be magnetized to.

    If you're worried about superficial women coming after you for money, then live relatively humbly and don't flash it around.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    It's true d*icks get more girls.

    But it's about QUALITY not QUANTITY.

    You'll get tonnes of f*cking dumb cows if you'r e a pr*ck.

    But don't be a **** and forget all your manners and values to get b*itches.

    Be a gentleman. Show respect.

    A girl who likes that is the girl you're after, not ones who prefer douches.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Momma's Kumquat)
    But on the flip-side, why should someone settle for an aimless gnome with no or little direction in their lives? I feel like, as a man, my ability to take life by the scruff of the neck and make some decent money is a reflection of many other positive character traits that people will generally be magnetized to.

    If you're worried about superficial women coming after you for money, then live relatively humbly and don't flash it around.
    Oh, of course! A man who is motivated to find success and achieves that goal is a good man to have! I wouldn't be one to suggest that women settle for a man with no motivation. Similarly, men are deserving of finding a woman with the same attributes.

    I think for me I find myself a little touchy when it comes to this subject because I believe I'm a good man, I have desires and I set out to accomplish them. Yet women won't touch me with a 10ft barge pole; if I were to suddenly garner success in dating once I get a solid job, money etc then it would make me feel as though the only redeemable quality I have as a partner is my gains. I would also feel as if they were settling, that I were second best.

    Enough about how I feel though, because the advice you gave is sound. If the OP wants to see more success, then improving himself in any way possible is a fantastic thing to do not only to improve his chances, but more importantly for himself, and ultimately that is the person you want to be successful for.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Oh, of course! A man who is motivated to find success and achieves that goal is a good man to have! I wouldn't be one to suggest that women settle for a man with no motivation. Similarly, men are deserving of finding a woman with the same attributes.

    I think for me I find myself a little touchy when it comes to this subject because I believe I'm a good man, I have desires and I set out to accomplish them. Yet women won't touch me with a 10ft barge pole; if I were to suddenly garner success in dating once I get a solid job, money etc then it would make me feel as though the only redeemable quality I have as a partner is my gains. I would also feel as if they were settling, that I were second best.

    Enough about how I feel though, because the advice you gave is sound. If the OP wants to see more success, then improving himself in any way possible is a fantastic thing to do not only to improve his chances, but more importantly for himself, and ultimately that is the person you want to be successful for.
    I hear you, my man. I wish you much luck on your road to fortune and self-actualization.

    Watch out for those gold-diggers!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Oh, of course! A man who is motivated to find success and achieves that goal is a good man to have!
    Why?

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    I think for me I find myself a little touchy when it comes to this subject because I believe I'm a good man, I have desires and I set out to accomplish them. Yet women won't touch me with a 10ft barge pole; if I were to suddenly garner success in dating once I get a solid job, money etc then it would make me feel as though the only redeemable quality I have as a partner is my gains. I would also feel as if they were settling, that I were second best.
    Hmm, how old are you?

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Enough about how I feel though, because the advice you gave is sound. If the OP wants to see more success, then improving himself in any way possible is a fantastic thing to do not only to improve his chances, but more importantly for himself, and ultimately that is the person you want to be successful for.
    I agree with this

    Intrinsic motivation trumps all.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    No evils
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    As shallow as this sounds....at the end of the day, an attractive guy is an attractive guy. It just so happens that the really good looking ones (who all the girls go for) are used to the attention so become cocky and full of themselves. E.g. no girl would go for an obese, unhygenic slob who treats women like sh*t over a considerate, caring guy who values their partner. Chances are if a girl doesn't find you physically attractive to begin with, acting like a d*ck won't suddenly make you hot. Also, not all girls are the same. Some like loud, confident types and others like quieter 'nice guys'. Just don't stress and try to be something you're not. You'll find someone eventually.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SpiritSharD)



    Ya'know, this is perfectly good advice and I strongly recommend the OP follows this, but...

    ...does he really want to settle for women who FINALLY find him attractive because his physique has improved and he's got a solid career/financial situation? I know I wouldn't. For me, personally, if I start attracting women the moment my professional life gets off to a good start (which it will), then I will not ever be interested in dating ever again.



    So basically, in your eyes good men are not fun and adventurous and what women should settle for later in life when the bad boys no longer want them?
    No.. I said good guys are great for marriages and a future. Bad boys are bad boys because they're rebellous and more likely to be very adventurous and rebellous which some girls interrupt as fun and do not like playing safe.

    Women should settle with good guys if they dont want to be derespected and cheated on daily. There is a reason why bad boys are called bad boys. I never said good guys werent fun.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    It's definitely a positive, better still if you can combine it with confidence, charisma & good looks :yy:
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    My girlfriend says I'm a 'nice guy' not a 'bad boy'. She asked me out because she'd had enough of being treated badly by the latter. Yes, she's out of my league, but on the other hand I try a lot harder because I know I'm lucky to be with her.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Okay, to answer in detail, as a girl..

    No, being a good guy isn't a bad thing, I like it, but you have to have other stuff going on? Are you intelligent? Are you funny etc...I'm not going to like you just because you're nice..my grandma is also nice...

    Personally I don't think it's bad , but I don't think anyone is genuinely completely nice....if I can't b**** about someone I dont like to you..then we gots problems because I b**** lots

    Regardless, I think a balance is good. As in nice (meaning he's nice generally to me, save for the semi-rude flirting banter) but not boring ^.^

    (But what's defined as boring varies from girl to girl)
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: June 28, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.