Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Confused, lost, Muslim Girl, all help and advise would be good Watch

    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hamza772000)
    Haha, I agree if it's true but if it isn't it's kinda sad tbh but it's not as if people on tsr can offer much help apart from either trolling or judging, so again :borat:
    ight since your a big boy now mabey you should give some advice.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'm gonna be completely honest here...

    Why on Earth did you give up someone who was willing to accept you for who you were? I understand your family didn't think highly of your relationship, but as you said, you are 26, and I reckon you shouldn't have their interference in your life anymore. It should be mind over mother (no pun intended) for you, my friend. I wouldn't be able to understand how complex the situation is, I'm just throwing out a suggestion here. I understand if it isn't the best, though. Good luck in resolving your problem.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by junayd1998)
    ight since your a big boy now mabey you should give some advice.
    lmao, I can't give advice to save my life....... I'm not a relationship guru although tbf no one here is, most just chat sh*t for the sake of it.........
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Serine Soul)
    That doesn't make it okay though

    Fair enough I do often go by the line 'what they don't know won't hurt them' but I couldn't do that in a relationship
    Sex is more important than just a relationship. Sex is a necessity just like food and water.
    • #5
    #5

    Thank you- from OP

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I think you should just totally forget him because deep down you known nothing will come out of it. He is in a relationship right now and has got on with his life. You need to do the same and focus on your life. You only love him because you spent 5 long years with him, those feelings didn't come about over night. The solution is not getting into a rebound relationship because that makes you feel empty and guilty and its not fair on the guy. Its a vicious cycle so break free and enjoy life. Do what you like, go out more and immerse yourself in hobbies. You will forget about him. The more you resist the more he will want to make it work with you. If you keep responding he will treat you as plan B girl because he knows at the back of his mind that you still want him, so you're better off without him.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Very big problem ...just forget about him and focus on jannah (ultimate goal)
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by solid222)
    Very big problem ...just forget about him and focus on jannah (ultimate goal)
    Hopefully she will get a male version of hoor al ayn HAHA or a man who would love her inshallah
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Dating isn't a rubbish concept. OP clearly is more Western so it isn't her fault your religion is stuck in the middle ages.
    She may be Western but that is why I said "if you care about religion", or perhaps you missed that. For a Muslim, if they care about religion, it is rubbish, and especially if she is sleeping about/cheating on people she dates. Your post just seems like a redudent half-rant rather than a critical appraisal of sincere advice, so well done you for helping OP(?) :congrats:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Am I the only one that doesn't think it's legit (with all due respect if it is)? Like you posted a 8'year relationship problem on TSR and the details itself I'm skeptical about.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    So you are blaming your religion, easy solution is leave! like I did. If not, don't blame the religion if you are willing to stay in it.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by champ_mc99)
    Am I the only one that doesn't think it's legit (with all due respect if it is)? Like you posted a 8'year relationship problem on TSR and the details itself I'm skeptical about.
    Ngl, I kinda think that the lambo bit is a bit fishy
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PrincessBO$$)
    i feel like OP is not getting to help or advice she so desperately needs on this thread, she is just being judged :/
    She's lived a lie and cheated on her current man deserves all the judgment she gets. Nothing justifies cheating. Don't bring religion into it as she can leave it no ones stopping her, I left Christianity and never felt happier


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone
    I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
    I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

    Okay here is my story

    8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
    Don't get me wrong and apologies if I offend
    But what didn't you like about the muslim guys you dated.
    I mean it couldn't have been the religion, since they are so relaxed about dating.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by hamza772000)
    Ngl, I kinda think that the lambo bit is a bit fishy
    That's one detail... Cheers.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by champ_mc99)
    Am I the only one that doesn't think it's legit (with all due respect if it is)? Like you posted a 8'year relationship problem on TSR and the details itself I'm skeptical about.
    Same here.
    Offline

    4
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by champ_mc99)
    That's one detail... Cheers.
    lol, fr though, it is kinda weird, idek
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I don't understand why people get into a relationship for it to be a distraction? :erm: Idk.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    lmao
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi everyone
    I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
    I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

    Okay here is my story

    8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
    Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

    One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

    Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
    We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

    He is still in his relationship and so am I.

    A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

    I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

    Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

    So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
    If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

    What do I do?

    Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

    What do I do?
    Has anyone been in the situation
    You are incredibly selfish, the fact you cheated on your current partner is a sin itself

    You are Muslim and your job as a Muslim is to marry a strict Muslim. You are favouring your desires. That is not what Allah wants for you. Grow up and do the right thing
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Dating isn't a rubbish concept. OP clearly is more Western so it isn't her fault your religion is stuck in the middle ages.
    Savage asf. :rofl: "Stuck in the middle ages"
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 14, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.