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He didn't go ahead and sleep with me watch

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    (Original post by Napp)
    Let me see if i read that right;
    you both went to a friends house --> he drove you home --> started up some hank panky in the car --> he refused to jack hammer you --> you're not particularly amused?
    not exactly. I don't want just sex but anything more feels like investing too much. So I'm more confused about his actions where to me it seems like he's put our "bond" (not sure what else to call it) before a shag. a huge part of me wants to walk away because it already feels so deep and that would have been easier to do had I believed it was just sex and nothing else.*

    I'm not really annoyed about not having sex that night because I guess for me as well, t's more important that we maintain what we have. Rather than for it all to fizzle out. *

    Lol plus he didn't refuse. U make it sound like I was begging and he was like nooooo!! *I could see the struggle of him really really wanting to (as did I) but then holding off because he had the foresight to know perhaps I would shut off after. *
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    (Original post by Goaded)
    I would give yourself some distance to think about everything.
    thanks I'm gona try. Though easier said than done. He just makes me so weak.*

    You look really pretty btw *
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    I haven't read all the responses so I apologize if this has been said.
    It seems clear to me that you have found a really good man!! It is also clear that he thinks
    very highly of you as a person first and foremost. This is what MOST women look for. He respects
    you and held off out of respect for you. Clearly things could have moved forward. He chose not to
    move forward because he seems to know that you are the one who will freak out and that is what he is trying to avoid. You've got a good guy there and kinda playing mind games with him. He likes you but is afraid that if he acts like more than friends you'll go running. It's time for you to decide what you
    want if you care for him. If you want to take this farther then let him know your feelings are growing for him. If he just wanted sex he would have had it so he likes and respects you as a person. Now, please show respect for him and either let this relationship follow it's natural path or tell him clearly that you just want to be friends and don't confuse the matter by adding sex to the mix. If you are
    afraid you could actually get hurt..... well, yes, that is the risk everyone takes. If you care for this
    guy more than just as a buddy then you're going to get hurt because at 36 he's not going to stick
    around and wait while you play mind games. He will cut this budding relationship off. It seems like you both like each
    as more than just friends. Open up, risk being vulnerable, and sit down and talk to him. If you want a relationship tell him. You are at a point where he is telling you you are his best friend, he doesn't want you to go running and wants to have sex with you..... I think he's invested in a relationship.
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    I haven't read all the responses so I apologize if this has been said.
    It seems clear to me that you have found a really good man!! It is also clear that he thinks
    very highly of you as a person first and foremost. This is what MOST women look for. He respects
    you and held off out of respect for you. Clearly things could have moved forward. He chose not to
    move forward because he seems to know that you are the one who will freak out and that is what he is trying to avoid. You've got a good guy there and kinda playing mind games with him. He likes you but is afraid that if he acts like more than friends you'll go running. It's time for you to decide what you
    want if you care for him. If you want to take this farther then let him know your feelings are growing for him. If he just wanted sex he would have had it so he likes and respects you as a person. Now, please show respect for him and either let this relationship follow it's natural path or tell him clearly that you just want to be friends and don't confuse the matter by adding sex to the mix. If you are
    afraid you could actually get hurt..... well, yes, that is the risk everyone takes. If you care for this
    guy more than just as a buddy then you're going to get hurt because at 36 he's not going to stick
    around and wait while you play mind games. He will cut this budding relationship off. It seems like you both like each
    as more than just friends. Open up, risk being vulnerable, and sit down and talk to him. If you want a relationship tell him. You are at a point where he is telling you you are his best friend, he doesn't want you to go running and wants to have sex with you..... I think he's invested in a relationship.
    thank you for your reply. I am grateful for your input. It's not my intention to play any mind games. I try to be as honest as possible and I think a lot of that is why we get on so much. There's a lot of realism between us.

    *My worry is that it's all happening so fast and each layer is developing so rapidly that I'm afraid it will be a "the shortest flames burn the brightest" type of situation. I don't want that. I couldn't deal with it. And from what he says I think it's the same.

    He's mentioned many times (drunk and sober) that I'm the friend he's been looking for/I came in his life at a very right time (tho he didn't expand on that when I asked him why).*

    I just feel that if we start on such a high there will be no place left to go. The fact that he backed away was really unexpected for me because everything that happened in between (the increase in "affection", I had put a thought in the back off my mind that it was just a way to eventually get sex). And though I hesitated to say yes to sex, I did want it to happen just because at that point I felt like even if it did go balls up after, I was mentally prepared enough to deal with it. Like it would be **** but because I somehow expected it, it would still be something I could come to terms with. Now I feel like I've plunged deeper and if I can't anticipate or prepare for an eventuality, then when it happens I won't be able to deal with it.*

    There's so many horror stories about how something goes from 100% to like zero in seconds. *I just don't want that which is why I wanted a little distance so we can actually realise if we are getting caught up in it all or not. Not to play any mind games. I hope that makes sense. A lot of this is just rambles now....*

    I don't know if I want a relationship. It's too soon. I want him and I want something. But I don't want to be taken up a mountain just to be pushed off? So I'm scared basically. I get attached quick (evidently). *
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    (Original post by theBranicAc)
    what does op mean?
    Original post/poster, the thread starter.
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    First of all I wasn't intending to be rude so I apologize if it came out that way in saying you were
    playing mind games it's just it seems like he likes you but knows you'll push away. Did he say that he doesn't want a relationship? On here we're just guessing what he's thinking. I think you both think
    highly of each other and have gotten to know each other pretty well so just discuss where you stand with each other; talk about it. You are right that relationships that take off super fast tend to fizzle. From what you've described you both sound like you're on the same page so discuss it with him. He cares about you, you're his best friend, he'll appreciate and respect your concerns. If he's the great guy you
    think he is then you're going to have to be a little vulnerable and trust that he won't hurt you. Fine, go slow (personally I do think that is best) but communicate with him and don't automatically think
    something bad will happen. Also, if he's awesome don't worry about the age as long as you don't
    think it'll cause conflict with your family. Ha! My grandfather was 25 years older than my
    grandmother! Really! She was 25 when they got married he (of course) was 50 and they had 2
    kids.
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    Damn isn't there anything I won't masturbate to...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    First of all I wasn't intending to be rude so I apologize if it came out that way in saying you were
    playing mind games it's just it seems like he likes you but knows you'll push away. Did he say that he doesn't want a relationship? On here we're just guessing what he's thinking. I think you both think
    highly of each other and have gotten to know each other pretty well so just discuss where you stand with each other; talk about it. You are right that relationships that take off super fast tend to fizzle. From what you've described you both sound like you're on the same page so discuss it with him. He cares about you, you're his best friend, he'll appreciate and respect your concerns. If he's the great guy you
    think he is then you're going to have to be a little vulnerable and trust that he won't hurt you. Fine, go slow (personally I do think that is best) but communicate with him and don't automatically think
    something bad will happen. Also, if he's awesome don't worry about the age as long as you don't
    think it'll cause conflict with your family. Ha! My grandfather was 25 years older than my
    grandmother! Really! She was 25 when they got married he (of course) was 50 and they had 2
    kids.
    I didn't take it rudely or anything. I could tell u were being helpful by saying it and it's good because I want to stay away from any mind games. So atleast ill be mindful of it.*

    About the relationship thing... If you see the thread I linked it talks about how we arranged to go out alone for the first time for drinks and the night just went on and we both had a good time and we managed to address what we wanted off the back off him saying "I don't want to say I love you".

    *Like nothing serious and intense and it seemed we were on the same page. And if you see in that thread there is another link to a thread I made roughly seven weeks ago which is how this all started (me getting really really drunk at a work do, him taking care of me and dropping me home and somewhere along the journey, we kissed and etc). So based on all that it seemed clear that it wasn't about a relationship.*

    However since our first night out alone (which I now realise was only two weeks ago), he's really stepped up how much he seeks me out or going out his way for me. Like he feels a lot closer to me since then (or maybe that's me projecting) and seems to look for ways to talk to me/spend a little time with me I.e. Following me to the kitchen when I go to make tea rounds, always asking when the next time we will go out is, etc. Which is where all the confusion begins...*

    On the age gap point I used to think that really big age gaps which to me was like 10+ years couldn't work as people would be in really different stages in life and how cud people have a lot in common when there's that much age gap but now I realise how wrong I was. I don't think I've ever had more in common with anyone before. The 25 year thing is crazy but amazing - there's no science to what works between people.*
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    (Original post by sarkrista112)
    Damn isn't there anything I won't masturbate to...


    Posted from TSR Mobile

    Erm..... *I didn't even include massive detail about all that happened *hides*
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    OP here.

    Reading this thread back more than a year later and I literally sounded like a silly little school girl back then
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP here.

    Reading this thread back more than a year later and I literally sounded like a silly little school girl back then
    :lol: So hows things now?
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    (Original post by starfab)
    :lol: So hows things now?
    In a relationship together

    Even though I've known I was crazy about him from the start, reading this thread again brings back lots of nostalgia.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    In a relationship together

    Even though I've known I was crazy about him from the start, reading this thread again brings back lots of nostalgia.
    Cute
 
 
 
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