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Going to see escort but really have no choice. What would you do? watch

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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If it were me, then I would want to heal and de traumatise myself. I appreciate you can't.

    It isnt about changing the past, part of it is working your way through it, understanding, coming to terms and learning from it, then being able to define your future.
    There's a thread on TSR from a couple years back where a guy used an escort and found the experience benefited him greatly. To each their own, I guess.

    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Well to me I often wonder if prostitutes/ escorts actually enjoy the sex, or feel the need to do sex work to pay something off, or perhaps someone is making them, I don't know but to know someone I like or am interested in has paid for this makes me uncomfortable.
    I will imagine most escorts only want the money, though the sex would be a bonus if they met a guy that actually like the look of/their personality.

    I understand your concern, but for some men there really isn't much of a choice.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    There's a thread on TSR from a couple years back where a guy used an escort and found the experience benefited him greatly. To each their own, I guess.



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    I wouldnt have an issue as long as he's thought it through and thinks that is what is best for him. You have to stand by your own decisions and other people are easy to ignore. Obviously he's not cheating on anyone, so its his responsibility for himself.

    Its just sex of questionable quality. It might have utility or it might fall woefully short of giving him answers.
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    Do you guys want to fulfill your wishes? I will tell you some mantras which will grant you your wishes.

    (Original post by Inexorably)
    If you wanna it's your choice, but it's a silly choice. There's more to life than shagging so1.
    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    There's a thread on TSR from a couple years back where a guy used an escort and found the experience benefited him greatly. To each their own, I guess.I will imagine most escorts only want the money, though the sex would be a bonus if they met a guy that actually like the look of/their personality.I understand your concern, but for some men there really isn't much of a choice.
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I wouldnt have an issue as long as he's thought it through and thinks that is what is best for him. You have to stand by your own decisions and other people are easy to ignore. Obviously he's not cheating on anyone, so its his responsibility for himself.Its just sex of questionable quality. It might have utility or it might fall woefully short of giving him answers.
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    (Original post by Jay_Cartwright)
    But what if they view sex differently now and regret going with a prostitute.
    I don't know. I'll turn it around, I'm sure most guys wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a girl who had been an escort.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi

    So I've come to the decision at least for the time being that I'll visit an escort regularly because quite frankly women that I find attractive will simply not give me a chance. Tried everything, thrown a lot of money away trying to do it the normal way.

    Basically my childhood was dreadful and I was psychologically abused and bullied for years when I was growing up. This has meant that now as an adult I feel defective as a human being. I simply cannot change the past and I've thrown thousands of pounds at trying to recover from past events.

    I'd consider myself a physically attractive male. I have a good job and I'm intelligent but I'm simply not attractive to some women when it comes to my personality.

    What would you do in my situation?
    Really sorry to hear about everything that's happened to you. I've been in a similar situation - never had any luck with relationships and I was so frustrated that I wanted to hurt myself. Until I went to see an escort for the first time a few years ago, and never looked back. I now go once every few months, and it's a perfectly healthy part of a man's life. I can tell you as someone who has been there, done that and come out stronger on the other side - you don't need girlfriends for sex if you can pay to get it from someone without all the stress, BS and verbal/emotional abuse that relationships come with. Girls like to use sex to manipulate men into doing what they want, and there always comes a time when you can't think about anything but sex. I would highly recommend you to go and see an escort - get what you need and you'll come back feeling refreshed and in a much more healthy mindset. Visiting escorts also helps improve your attitude to sex - by having sex with someone you don't know, you take all the emotion and worry out of sex so it just becomes a bodily function. Then by the time you come to having sex with someone you do know, you'll be more mentally prepared and (because you've had practise), able to satisfy a girlfriend better in bed. It sounds strange but I've actually had more girlfriends and slept with more girls since I started seeing escorts. I keep it a secret from those girls obviously, but escorts have improved my sexual confidence immensely. Hence I could not recommend them any more highly than I am.

    Obviously if you're going for the first time, keep your wits about you and take precautions. Choose an escort with good reviews and a decent price (not to mention someone you're actually attracted to, lol). Go during the day if you're worried about passing through dangerous areas, and don't take any more money with you than you need for transport and the amount you need to pay her. Trust me dude, only good things come out of getting sexual satisfaction. Don't fixate on the taboo or on other peoples' judgmental opinions. Do what you have to do and have no regrets. I hope everything goes well for you.
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    Don't accept the premise. As per Satre's existentialism: we always have a choice

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've thrown thousands of pounds at trying to recover from past events .. I'm simply not attractive to some women when it comes to my personality
    Have you thrown any of those funds in the direction of life/dating coaching? If not, I suggest you consider it before giving up/resorting to desperate measures. You may PM me in confidence, if you wish
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    Gross you'll regret it
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Gross you'll regret it
    How do you know?

    Some people might and others might not. theres a similar threead on this subject with a poster who clearly doesnt regret it.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    How do you know?

    Some people might and others might not. theres a similar threead on this subject with a poster who clearly doesnt regret it.
    they probs don't have a partner and don't want one
    • #4
    #4

    I am a former escort.
    I used to always see men like you. Men who can't build relationships or even cop off with women for one night. They convince themselves that there is an attraction from the woman and it isn't just the money making her sleep with him.
    Honestly, I wouldn't bother. Wait until it happens organically in your life.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    they probs don't have a partner and don't want one
    How do you know this? As far as im aware the OP doesnt have one, but you insist he will regret it.
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    Having sex with a prostitute will not help you improve your much needed communication skills with women.

    I read your reasons for wanting to do so op, do I empathise with you? Perhaps a tiny bit, I'm not sure how tough your childhood must have been that it would force you to need to spend thousands on therapy but it sounds serious.

    You say you have a good job and sound like you make good money, so on that side of things you sound somewhat able to live a competent & respectable life.

    I wouldn't tell anyone what to ultimately do, ultimately it will be your choice and your life experiences will pull you in one way or the other.

    Some people think life is rosy like some Disney film but fail to understand different people experience many different sometimes traumatic experiences in life which affect their future life choices. I personally don't recommend a guy losing his virginity to a prostitute but at the end of the day what you do will be your choice just make sure you are happy with it.

    All some women need from a men is that you talk to them and make them laugh and feel good. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt or Dwayne Johnson.

    In the workplace situation some employers talk about some employees not having soft skills. Think about your communication skills with women as part of your social & relationship soft skills, how do you work on these soft skills you may ask. Well simply talk to women with respect of course, have a laugh make them feel good and work from there. You ignore your problems and relationship development issues and you may never overcome them. So just get to know women as friends and work from there for now.

    If you are living life with sex in your mind and maybe watching porn, stop the porn use which will affect you negatively specially in your situation but for anyone really and get that sex off your mind. Just start getting to know women as people, as friends.

    You will never be perfect, none of us are, you will slip at times and make mistakes if you want to improve though face your problems don't think you can push them aside and make a good change.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    they probs don't have a partner and don't want one
    Littlepopcorn don't be naive, many men who use prostitutes have in fact got partners some are even married. Your future partner could be one.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi

    So I've come to the decision at least for the time being that I'll visit an escort regularly because quite frankly women that I find attractive will simply not give me a chance. Tried everything, thrown a lot of money away trying to do it the normal way.

    Basically my childhood was dreadful and I was psychologically abused and bullied for years when I was growing up. This has meant that now as an adult I feel defective as a human being. I simply cannot change the past and I've thrown thousands of pounds at trying to recover from past events.

    I'd consider myself a physically attractive male. I have a good job and I'm intelligent but I'm simply not attractive to some women when it comes to my personality.

    What would you do in my situation?
    women are not bothered about your good job or intelligence. Ignore what the girls say on here, but I was in the same situation as you. I thought being intelligent and nice and being the perfect boyfriend would get girls over me. It never worked for me, I was all alone and like you I considered seeing an escort. However I didnt, and I changed myself around. (Although my life isnt the best right now)

    Started working out, putting on muscle mass, being more direct with girls, being more flirty rather than being nice and telling them how amazing my job is, and how big my house is.

    being a little bad and rough it what girls 18-29 go for. After these ages, when the girls want to settle down, then they start to look at how much money you make
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    they probs don't have a partner and don't want one
    nah, most guys who who use escorts are guys with wives, but sex life at home is non-existent
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Really sorry to hear about everything that's happened to you. I've been in a similar situation - never had any luck with relationships and I was so frustrated that I wanted to hurt myself. Until I went to see an escort for the first time a few years ago, and never looked back. I now go once every few months, and it's a perfectly healthy part of a man's life. I can tell you as someone who has been there, done that and come out stronger on the other side - you don't need girlfriends for sex if you can pay to get it from someone without all the stress, BS and verbal/emotional abuse that relationships come with. Girls like to use sex to manipulate men into doing what they want, and there always comes a time when you can't think about anything but sex. I would highly recommend you to go and see an escort - get what you need and you'll come back feeling refreshed and in a much more healthy mindset. Visiting escorts also helps improve your attitude to sex - by having sex with someone you don't know, you take all the emotion and worry out of sex so it just becomes a bodily function. Then by the time you come to having sex with someone you do know, you'll be more mentally prepared and (because you've had practise), able to satisfy a girlfriend better in bed. It sounds strange but I've actually had more girlfriends and slept with more girls since I started seeing escorts. I keep it a secret from those girls obviously, but escorts have improved my sexual confidence immensely. Hence I could not recommend them any more highly than I am.

    Obviously if you're going for the first time, keep your wits about you and take precautions. Choose an escort with good reviews and a decent price (not to mention someone you're actually attracted to, lol). Go during the day if you're worried about passing through dangerous areas, and don't take any more money with you than you need for transport and the amount you need to pay her. Trust me dude, only good things come out of getting sexual satisfaction. Don't fixate on the taboo or on other peoples' judgmental opinions. Do what you have to do and have no regrets. I hope everything goes well for you.
    Solid advice here, women will use sex to manipulate guys.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by freedom)
    women are not bothered about your good job or intelligence. Ignore what the girls say on here, but I was in the same situation as you. I thought being intelligent and nice and being the perfect boyfriend would get girls over me. It never worked for me, I was all alone and like you I considered seeing an escort. However I didnt, and I changed myself around. (Although my life isnt the best right now)

    Started working out, putting on muscle mass, being more direct with girls, being more flirty rather than being nice and telling them how amazing my job is, and how big my house is.

    being a little bad and rough it what girls 18-29 go for. After these ages, when the girls want to settle down, then they start to look at how much money you make
    How do you become more direct with women? I feel a great deal of shame wanting to just tell a girl that I wanna **** her.
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    (Original post by freedom)
    nah, most guys who who use escorts are guys with wives, but sex life at home is non-existent
    Dorks
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    You have a choice not to visit a member of the oldest profession. Plenty of people live without sex, indeed I expect most of the members of this forum.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you become more direct with women? I feel a great deal of shame wanting to just tell a girl that I wanna **** her.
    just try and be more flirty, more touchy, more eye contact. Sexual compliments and tease her.

    She will get the picture, and she will either say yes or no.
 
 
 
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