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I Need to Rant about a girl again Watch

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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    It actually is lol. This is mostly just a ranting thread but everyone is like 'what do you expect boi, it's your fault, you no good for her, move on boi'. Like yeah, I know, I'm moving on. Not gonna text her again. I'm over it. But I still feel like **** about it lol. Can I just have a little sympathy please?

    And you gave me some at last. So sincerely, thank you :P
    I would hug you but I don't trust strangers :teehee:
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    No she wouldn't saying nothing is easier
    It's also lazier and more disrespectful to the guy. Even a "hey, I don't think this is gonna work out" would be better than nothing.
    (Original post by ForgetMe)
    And it's also very childish.
    Agreed.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Well that's appreciated because the dumping thing really hurts (and that's ghosting pretty much). What do I do though...?
    You can't really control if people are attracted to you in person or not beyond what's reasonably expected of you. The only thing you can do is be yourself and try to look the best you can. I think your problem is that you got attached too much, too quick. Try not to get emotionally involved too soon, coming off as if you don't give a **** and you have other options is far more alluring to a woman. Also, why are you doing all the paying? Make her contribute
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    You can't really control if people are attracted to you in person or not beyond what's reasonably expected of you. The only thing you can do is be yourself and try to look the best you can. I think your problem is that you got attached too much, too quick. Try not to get emotionally involved too soon, coming off as if you don't give a **** and you have other options is far more alluring to a woman. Also, why are you doing all the paying? Make her contribute
    No, I meant, what is it that I do that you say I do?

    You said that "girls like that are the reason guys don't do what you (me) do OP" (paraphrased) Wtf is it that I do lol?

    Obviously I got attached too quick but I have a real problem with that and it is why I am a horny man that doesn't do casual sex. I'm most assuredly not asexual.

    I really don't know about girls finding apathetic man more alluring. I mean, yes in general they do and initially, but, the sort of girls that I want to meet, are they really going to be attracted to that?

    I don't think you understand the paying. I asked her for the tickets and told her she'd only pay £10. They were meant to be £40 but I could get them at discount for £30 and I didn't want to burden her with having to pay £30! So I just bought them and obviously she never went so she never paid the £10 back to me...

    And then she legit said she had no money anyway lol. She'd just blown ALL her money on holidays to Rome in 5 star hotels... *shrug* Not my lifestyle but hey maybe there is some Indian in me haha.
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    (Original post by Joel 96)
    Well, after reading all of that, I gotta say, what a *****.

    No, seriously. She toyed around with your emotions, let you down multiple times, and then ignores you instead of simply stating that it would never work out, which, although harsh, would at least be an understandable reaction, but no, she was rude as ****.

    Why she didn't feel there was a connection? Who knows. You connected through text, but not real life. Interesting, could looks have played a part? Not being harsh on you or anything, but did she see photos of you before the meet-up?
    Girls will not respond to a creepy guy messaging them online on a dating site unless he has pics up. I sent her a pic before we met and she called me a cutie so... Like literally I sent her a selfie of the outfit I was wearing just 5mins before leaving so she'd know who I was for certain.

    But I agree it was all just a bad experience and I must learn to STOP GIVING IMMATURE GIRLS SECOND CHANCES. I need a woman...
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    Swallow that Red Pill.
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    (Original post by Sisuphos)
    Why can't you move on now without knowing details? you know the most important thing and that's that she doesn't want to date you. Isn't that enough to want to make you move on? what more reasons do you need? "she doesn't like me" sounds good enough to me although I know very well it hurts a lot and if you've had it happen with other girls, it will hurt even more. It's just your ego though.

    I empathise with some of the things you write but imo you sound very angry and bitter.
    I have moved on lol. I have absolutely 0 interest in seeing her again.

    I think you might be missing the whole point of the thread tbh.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Girls will not respond to a creepy guy messaging them online on a dating site unless he has pics up. I sent her a pic before we met and she called me a cutie so... Like literally I sent her a selfie of the outfit I was wearing just 5mins before leaving so she'd know who I was for certain.

    But I agree it was all just a bad experience and I must learn to STOP GIVING IMMATURE GIRLS SECOND CHANCES. I need a woman...
    Yeah, true man. She lead you on, and I guess we'll never know why, unless you get her to tell you, but probably best to leave it.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I have moved on lol. I have absolutely 0 interest in seeing her again.

    I think you might be missing the whole point of the thread tbh.
    No you haven't, there are around 19321991 posts of you in this thread wondering why she acted like she did.

    K.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Swallow that Red Pill.
    I knoooooooooow man.

    It's almost tempting.

    Almost.

    This worries me.

    I was reading about how girls now hate the hook up culture, yet they openly embrace it with their willingness to undergo hook ups in the false hope that it will allow them to 'convert' a guy into having a relationship with them. Seems believable to be honest.

    My real problem is that I don't want hookups though. I wish I could just be content with ceaseless dump and bangs because they're so ****ing easy to get. That's what pisses me off. I'm not like the red-pillers that envy 'chad' for his ability to get laid. I don't want to get laid. I want a relationship but the fact that society is so obsessed with getting laid is making that rather difficult it seems...
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    No, I meant, what is it that I do that you say I do?

    You said that "girls like that are the reason guys don't do what you (me) do OP" (paraphrased) Wtf is it that I do lol?

    Obviously I got attached too quick but I have a real problem with that and it is why I am a horny man that doesn't do casual sex. I'm most assuredly not asexual.

    I really don't know about girls finding apathetic man more alluring. I mean, yes in general they do and initially, but, the sort of girls that I want to meet, are they really going to be attracted to that?

    I don't think you understand the paying. I asked her for the tickets and told her she'd only pay £10. They were meant to be £40 but I could get them at discount for £30 and I didn't want to burden her with having to pay £30! So I just bought them and obviously she never went so she never paid the £10 back to me...

    And then she legit said she had no money anyway lol. She'd just blown ALL her money on holidays to Rome in 5 star hotels... *shrug* Not my lifestyle but hey maybe there is some Indian in me haha.
    Oh, my apologies, I misinterpreted that :facepalm2:

    I meant as you're all old fashioned and actually take women out on dates and stuff like a 50's guy would. Not many guys do that these days and it's quite rare to find a man who would. It's quite endearing really

    Trust me, I'm a woman, I know what makes women tick if you get me... :hubba:

    Well, I think you should ask her for your money that you wasted back tbh. There's being a nice guy and then there's being a doormat and it's not good to fall into the latter category. So what if she has no money? It's not your problem if she can't budget for holidays and dates properly, is it?
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Oh, my apologies, I misinterpreted that :facepalm2:

    I meant as you're all old fashioned and actually take women out on dates and stuff like a 50's guy would. Not many guys do that these days and it's quite rare to find a man who would. It's quite endearing really

    Trust me, I'm a woman, I know what makes women tick if you get me... :hubba:

    Well, I think you should ask her for your money that you wasted back tbh. There's being a nice guy and then there's being a doormat and it's not good to fall into the latter category. So what if she has no money? It's not your problem if she can't budget for holidays and dates properly, is it?

    What? Every guy takes girls out on dates. Girls never initiate. Girls never pay. Girls never do anything except look pretty (initially). On average obviously. If I ever ask a girl to deal with the next date they **** their pants. Maybe I'm just talking to the wrong girls. Why the hell are all of them the same though? I find it all very bizarre.

    LOL. I am almost certain she'd rather shoot me than give me £20. She's immature. That's the main takeaway - don't give anyone any chance at all if they exhibit signs of immaturity. Statistically, you waste everything doing that.

    The "I've got no money" thing though should have been sirens ****ing smashing my eardrums in shouldn't it? I called her out on it and she had such a strop. I'm really silly in hindsight. Blinded by my own optimism haha.


    (Original post by Sisuphos)
    No you haven't, there are around 19321991 posts of you in this thread wondering why she acted like she did.

    K.
    Yes... Because I'm curious...

    And I find the stance that she and apparently XObeauty adopt to be utterly bizarre. How one can even justify such a stance is beyond me. That's what I'm curious about...

    I have not messaged her since and I have absolutely no intention of doing so.
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    (Original post by ForgetMe)
    I would hug you but I don't trust strangers :teehee:
    Are you BME or white?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    What? Every guy takes girls out on dates. Girls never initiate. Girls never pay. Girls never do anything except look pretty (initially). On average obviously. If I ever ask a girl to deal with the next date they **** their pants. Maybe I'm just talking to the wrong girls. Why the hell are all of them the same though? I find it all very bizarre.

    LOL. I am almost certain she'd rather shoot me than give me £20. She's immature. That's the main takeaway - don't give anyone any chance at all if they exhibit signs of immaturity. Statistically, you waste everything doing that.

    The "I've got no money" thing though should have been sirens ****ing smashing my eardrums in shouldn't it? I called her out on it and she had such a strop. I'm really silly in hindsight. Blinded by my own optimism haha.




    Yes... Because I'm curious...

    And I find the stance that she and apparently XObeauty adopt to be utterly bizarre. How one can even justify such a stance is beyond me. That's what I'm curious about...

    I have not messaged her since and I have absolutely no intention of doing so.
    No, they don't. They really don't. The best you get with most guys these days is this netflix and chill crap. And tbf, I don't blame them, why bother spending time and money trying to impress a woman when you can just flick a finger on a Tinder screen and get sex easy? Either you're an unusually nice guy or I'm just surrounded by *******s then. In my experience, this is not what happens.

    If there's one thing you can take away from this it's not to date girls with entitlement complexes and no sense of personal responsibility for themselves. 'Girls' being the operative word here. Look for real women, not little girls with immature attitudes. It's got nothing to do with their age or maternal status either btw; I know women in their forties with a kid who refuse to take responsibility for themselves or their lives and expect a man to hand everything to them on a silver platter. Don't be that man and don't date that kind of girl, no matter how pretty she is.

    I've just realised I've basically given you the male equivalent of the 'Don't-date-the-*******' speech lol
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    No, they don't. They really don't. The best you get with most guys these days is this netflix and chill crap. And tbf, I don't blame them, why bother spending time and money trying to impress a woman when you can just flick a finger on a Tinder screen and get sex easy? Either you're an unusually nice guy or I'm just surrounded by *******s then. In my experience, this is not what happens.

    If there's one thing you can take away from this it's not to date girls with entitlement complexes and no sense of personal responsibility for themselves. 'Girls' being the operative word here. Look for real women, not little girls with immature attitudes. It's got nothing to do with their age or maternal status either btw; I know women in their forties with a kid who refuse to take responsibility for themselves or their lives and expect a man to hand everything to them on a silver platter. Don't be that man and don't date that kind of girl, no matter how pretty she is.

    I've just realised I've basically given you the male equivalent of the 'Don't-date-the-*******' speech lol
    Okay so uhhh, let's abandon online dating then because that's every single girl on there.

    Where the **** do I find people to date and not come across as a total weirdo? After nearly two years of this dating nonsense I feel like I am back at square one and no closer to actually finding someone I will remotely care about in 10 years time.

    Also on the 'niceness of guys'. I think people in general are very immoral today and I really don't like it. People may not smoke as much or drink as much, have sex as early, be more intelligent and ambitious! But. They definitely are more selfish, less polite and generally a whole lot more mentally ****ed in the head. That's a whole different issue though.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Okay so uhhh, let's abandon online dating then because that's every single girl on there.

    Where the **** do I find people to date and not come across as a total weirdo? After nearly two years of this dating nonsense I feel like I am back at square one and no closer to actually finding someone I will remotely care about in 10 years time.

    Also on the 'niceness of guys'. I think people in general are very immoral today and I really don't like it. People may not smoke as much or drink as much, have sex as early, be more intelligent and ambitious! But. They definitely are more selfish, less polite and generally a whole lot more mentally ****ed in the head. That's a whole different issue though.
    You can date girls online just don't invest in them because if you put your money in someone you're more likely to get emotionally attached. Just please be a bit more careful of the nature of the girls you take out

    That's a very good question and not one I know the answer too. See, for me, it's a lot easier because I look for christian guys so I can just go hang around churches, Bible studies and beach missions etc whereas if you aren't a religious guy it's a lot harder to find someone. The one advantage about the abundance of atheism in our generation is that whilst paradoxically there are less christian men about the ones that are there are genuine and easy to spot

    Agree with the bolded 1,000,000%
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    So. I was speaking to this girl for the past 3 weeks. She seemed really cool and oddly our personalities online seemed to click within an instant. Our conversations would never ever end and I don't think anyone has ever made me laugh so much period never mind just via text.

    She told me that was reciprocated and suddenly we're telling one another our life secrets. **** moved fast. In literally every damn way we seem perfectly suited for one another. It's almost hard to believe. So I try to ground myself by not believing it until I meet her. Anyway, she's told me a million times she's super clingy herself and endlessly needy. I also discover after a mild comment on her eyebrows that she is INCREDIBLY sensitive.

    I then organise a date because I want to this woman ASAP. I text her early on in the day if she wants tickets to some event because I can get a discount. The event is in 3days time. She says 'sure, go for it, should be fun'. so I buy two tickets. Guess what? On Saturday turns out she's working overtime and can't make it... Wtf. I let her off though because I'm really optimistic about this girl and probably already infatuated. Oh and I wasted £30 on that ticket too...

    Organise a second date, just got for a coffee first in town then go for a meal and that's it. Guess what? She has NO MONEY. LEGITIMATELY HAS ZERO ****ING MONEY. So she cannot afford a bus into town nevermind anything else. She tells me this the morning of the date so I'm like, well are there any parks near you? We'll just go for a walk? She's like, oh sure, yeah, 'if you come to mine (and gives me her address) for 4pm I'll be ready '.

    5pm and she's still at work. Working overtime. So it will be too late and she wants to reschedule the date.

    FOR SOME REASON I let her off again... and I try to organise something again.

    We're both busy so we compromise and just agree to meet each other in a few days for evening coffee at costa and a chat. We do that. Little awkward at the strt with regards to conversation but nothing too bad. We knew each other on sight and gave one another a hug. As soon as we sat down with the coffee it was just funny conversation - note, not even casual conversation. But legitimately funny conversation. We stay too long and don't even check the damn time so we're kicked out of costa. We spend like 15minutes chatting outside then I hug her and tell her that I enjoyed meeting her, would like to see her again and that I wish she has a safe journey home. She reciprocates that and we part ways.

    I text her the next day thinking what she thought about the date and she said that she thought I was great and that I made her laugh so much....

    Then she ghosts on me.

    Doesn't message for two days. I accept that and assume she's busy and just don't text her as I don't wanna look too desperate. But then I can't hold out anymore and have to text her. So I do on the third day. No response. I just give up on her then on the fourth day of no response (I sent an additional text that morning too). Then I find her damn profile on an online dating site again (she deleted/hidden it once I got her number) so I ask her if we're just done then?

    And she basically texts me saying she's 'sooooo sorry for ignoring me and just didn't feel any chemistry on the date so yeah we were pretty much done'. It was all so abrupt and confusing...

    So now I'm looking at this reddit on ghosting and am EVEN MORE CONFUSED.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/c...r_a_date_or_a/

    Maybe I appeared _too_ confident? Maybe my dark humour she found intimidating despite not showing visibly signs of distress from it and liking it via text chat...? I really don't know. And all I get from her is 'I just know after a 3hour coffee shop date whether it is gonna work or not. Not gonna waste your time'. -__-

    Well **** girl, just let me spend my money, emotions and time on every ****ing girl for 3weeks for absolutely no reason.

    How the hell do you get a romantic spark within 3hours of speaking to a stranger when you yourself are overly anxious as it is and you two know loads about each other but not how you sound or properly look and you're sat in a damn coffee shop?????
    The reason for this escapes my understanding....


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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    You can date girls online just don't invest in them because if you put your money in someone you're more likely to get emotionally attached. Just please be a bit more careful of the nature of the girls you take out

    That's a very good question and not one I know the answer too. See, for me, it's a lot easier because I look for christian guys so I can just go hang around churches, Bible studies and beach missions etc whereas if you aren't a religious guy it's a lot harder to find someone. The one advantage about the abundance of atheism in our generation is that whilst paradoxically there are less christian men about the ones that are there are genuine and easy to spot

    Agree with the bolded 1,000,000%
    Well that's true I guess. yes... I am just going to swear to myself from now on that I abandon someone entirely at the first sign of immaturity because it is inappropriate at the age of going to university. Just unnecessary.

    That's an interesting point that I'd never considered concerning religious dating. I must admit I have clicked with many people IRL be they Christian or Muslim to only find out that they are undatable due to their differing beliefs from I. It is a shame. I have to say concerning today's atheists they tend to fail to impress me too. Most are merely apathetists and have never bothered to dedicate the time to actually considering God and his existence... They just don't care and just want an excuse to do whatever they want and this is why they also come out with 'there's no such thing as morality' too... Very lazy intellectualism.

    And I'm glad you agree on that.

    (Original post by GradeA*UnderA)
    The reason for this escapes my understanding....


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    The ellipsis made that seem sarcastic. Was that the intention?
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    Feeling of deja vu reading this post...
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    (Original post by ikhan94)
    Feeling of deja vu reading this post...
    I'm sorry to hear that Mr Khan. I'm sure such experiences are not uncommon now-a-days.

    It seems to be that the sort of man that society has bred has also bred a particular sort of woman and that these women do seem quite conducive to bringing about such situations.
 
 
 
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