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How do YOU deal with a break up? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Are you male/female? Breaking up with someone you're still in love with vs not? How did your feelings change over time e.g. 1 week after break up vs months? What kinda relationship do you have with your ex now e.g. are you on speaking terms? How did you get over them, if you even got over them?
    The best way to get over them is to get a piece of paper out and in the middle write... "why it wouldn't work out with [insert name]" and then make a spider diagram with all their flaws etc...

    This has helped me tremendously to get over somebody. Whenever I felt like crap and felt the feeling to go back I would always check the paper and it would make me feel better.

    You should try it?
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    #3

    Female, I thought I loved him (I think I was more obsessed than in love - it was my first relationship)

    Took around 3 months. I dumped him on my birthday after he gave me a £3 plastic necklace I saw him mum put in the bin months previously. Sounds really shallow - but before this he would stop me seeing my friends and even forced me into sexual stuff (4 years on i still remember how sick i felt). The necklace was a slap round the face, a wake up call that i needed to get out.

    During the 3 months i would continously text/call and try and meet up with him. Thinking back it was almost stalkerish, but you must bear in mind that i lost all my friends and mum was having counselling - I had no-one. But after 3 months it no longer hurt. Idk why, just one day he wasn't the first thing i thought of when i woke up. At first I would forget about him for a few hours. Then a day. Then a few days which has now turned into months (:

    I now have a new boyfriend who I've been with for 3 years. And everything is pretty great. I promise anyone who is reading this, if you are in an abusive relationahip - GET OUT. Its the best thing you'll ever do. I don't regret it at all. If you have doubts about someone - listen to your gut!
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by J-ved)
    Alot of people from my school are mutual friends with her. Since I left school and going to a different college from everyone else, it shouldn't be so bad. But it was hell during the final months as well as revision for GCSE's. Made me paranoid and much more depressed. Like, I feel like I am a bad person for breaking up with someone I love. However, it hurts even more when someone you love disrespects you, messes around by placing a "break" on me and giving me a reason ( a real reason but not a valid reason to put me on a break). She lost feelings for me and got bored. Hence why she mentioned I should be funny and not boring which hurt me alot. But in the end I still feel like I'm a bad person. Gas lighting perhaps? It's the people who screw you over that are doing well. I also lost a few friends too.
    Yeah I can imagine it must have been s*** at the time. I don't think you should beat yourself up as I think you made the right decision as it sounded doomed anyway. If you hadn't broken up with her then, it probably would have ended later anyway.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by mr.cool09)
    The best way to get over them is to get a piece of paper out and in the middle write... "why it wouldn't work out with [insert name]" and then make a spider diagram with all their flaws etc...

    This has helped me tremendously to get over somebody. Whenever I felt like crap and felt the feeling to go back I would always check the paper and it would make me feel better.

    You should try it?
    The worst thing is that I know I was way too good for him but I can't help being drawn to him, as much as I don't want to be. I will give it a go though thanks
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    Well you grab a bottle of vodka, whiskey, anything with more than 35% alcohol then you open it and drink it, you call up a friend who always hated your girlfriend and you both talk about what a mistake she was then the next day you realize you're a free man and she wasn't all that, nothing your right hand couldn't substitute for awhile. Then you move onto bigger and better things. Just hope she isn't someone you regularly bump into or she wasn't a long time partner Cus then you'll be substituting the alcohol for other possibly illegal drugs.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Female, I thought I loved him (I think I was more obsessed than in love - it was my first relationship)

    Took around 3 months. I dumped him on my birthday after he gave me a £3 plastic necklace I saw him mum put in the bin months previously. Sounds really shallow - but before this he would stop me seeing my friends and even forced me into sexual stuff (4 years on i still remember how sick i felt). The necklace was a slap round the face, a wake up call that i needed to get out.

    During the 3 months i would continously text/call and try and meet up with him. Thinking back it was almost stalkerish, but you must bear in mind that i lost all my friends and mum was having counselling - I had no-one. But after 3 months it no longer hurt. Idk why, just one day he wasn't the first thing i thought of when i woke up. At first I would forget about him for a few hours. Then a day. Then a few days which has now turned into months (:

    I now have a new boyfriend who I've been with for 3 years. And everything is pretty great. I promise anyone who is reading this, if you are in an abusive relationahip - GET OUT. Its the best thing you'll ever do. I don't regret it at all. If you have doubts about someone - listen to your gut!
    Thank you for your response. I'm so happy to hear you're in a loving relationship with someone who treats you right now. My ex got quite emotionally abusive near the end but I still think about him and even texted him a few times even though I know he is nothing but bad news. Reading posts like yours gives me hope that I'll be able to get over him eventually. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, but one day. Thank you and take care!
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Female and was in love with my ex.

    Month 1- Cried my eyes out, ate pizza and over 20 chocolate digestives packets within 2 weeks.
    Month 2- Facebook stalking
    Month 3- Went out on dates with other guys
    Month 4- Revised and revised
    After Month 5- Revised for exams and lost weight.

    I do have my days where I miss him but I'll get past it
    Fantastic formula..
 
 
 
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