Sick of being a muslim woman

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely because everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    The most important thing about religion is the inner-belief (to me anyway). Public shows of faith like going to church or wearing the hijab shouldn't matter. It will be that historically, religious states (like some Middle Eastern countries or tudor England) will have used religion to create these sort of practices in order to keep the population in line. Therefore, if you do not believe in Islam then you are not a Muslim: regardless of what you wear.

    When people take big decisions like this, it can often break families. Therefore, I would advise that you take small steps. I wouldn't recommend doing a big bildungsroman-style throw off the hijab and skip into the moonlight kind of thing - don't make a big statement because that is more likely to inflame your mother (not literally).

    Uni and religion should also be separate spheres in your own life. I hope that the desire to study @ Manchester was your sole aim in applying (as opposed to escaping your family).

    Could you not live out @ Uni? Many people do just to get that freedom you describe even if they live near. Or is it your mother/family keeping you @ home?
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    (Original post by noticemesenpai)
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    OP, add PursuitOfJannah to your ignore list. I will be doing so shortly. If this user or any of their racist friends continue posting in this thread, don't bother arguing with them, leave that to the rest of us (we are hungry).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    I will be off TSR tomorrow due to GCSE traffic. I'll get back to you on Friday. You have had some great advice and some rubbish. Try to keep calm during this difficult time.

    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    So i assume you're going to reject the deen altogether then and open your legs to all and sundry, do a BA in art and then go on benefits or something? I think the fact that muslims go far beyond everybody in terms of fasting, personal decorum, hygiene and reject things like easy credit and interest based banking - does indeed elevate them above the common cracker. The Quran is a complete package, nothing else comes close.
    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Follow the path of your ancestors, don't be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet? Stay close to home and continue the tradition of your bloodline.
    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    I think they come here mostly because of the English language, a few benefits and because of the anglo american foreign policy i.e. starting wholly unnecessary wars in places like Iraq under the supposed guise of freedom and democracy. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about non London UK. Dubai is **** hot right now.
    Your comments neither help OP or yourself, or in fact anyone else reading them. They are not spelt correctly, or come close to standard English - which in my view puts you below the intelligent 'crackers' of this world. Also, your usage of TSR indicates your seduction into the free and easy western society. The white British are not necessarily atheist and this view implies your clear prejudice. Would a government be more of a cause to all of these problems than Atheism? (I think so). In what way does OP express any interest in football? Not only do you display a complete and utter incompetence when it comes to appreciation of British culture, but your naiveté in assuming that OP or anyone else will actually respect your opinion is also deeply amusing. If we all followed the path of our ancestors, then we would all be extremely hairy, swinging in the trees and engaging in intercourse with anything that moved. How does that fit in with your superior religion? We all have the same ancestors, we are all related to each other. That is a scientifically proven fact. Denial of such a fact is pure insanity. The Quran is not a complete package, it is a religious scripture and it does not come wrapped from the Royal Mail (usually). The fact that you assume anyone who isn't Muslim isn't human make you racist. Good Day.
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    I feel the same way, i just don't agree with the religion but i'm forced to practice it, I'm doing my A levels so i'm just gonna have to wait until uni to break free. My family won't take in that I believe that somethings out there but i disagree with religion
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    Hiya, I'm a female ex-muslim and so I understand the struggle. :hugs:
    I'm happy for you, in that you've liberated your mind from all the Islamic dogma.

    Ahh that sucks. :/ Regarding uni, is it too late to find another uni? Maybe ring up some universities and ask if they have available spaces? And if that's not possible then a transfer is also an option, like you just said.

    I can understand that you have to pretend to be someone you're not (which is emotionally draining). But one day you'll be free from all this. I think the best option is to wait until you're completely independent before you tell family, which isn't easy, but you need to stay strong and look forward to the future, don't let the present get you down. ('Cause this is a temporary situation).

    If you ever wanna discuss this more, or just talk and stuff, I'm a PM away. :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    Hi, i definitely think you should think about why you would like to leave islam, and think about why you feel constrained to this thing called religion.
    It's because religion is like a prison, there is no freedom in it.
    Think about freedom, freedom that is available to all. I found that freedom in Jesus Christ my saviour xx
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    (Original post by Zeus007)
    What a load of rubbish and this is why i always claim not to be apart of any religion. Anyone should be able to live their only life they have the way they wish. This girl is just tired of her religion restricting her from enjoying life, who are you to tell her the way to live.
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    Just because the uni is local doesn't mean you can't move out - this year I was going to stay in my hometown (Birmingham) and applied to live in halls because I wanted the full uni experience - is this an option for you?If not, are there are uni's through clearing that you would be interested in?

    Islam is unfair in the way that it is passed on through families as the only way of life and those who disagree do not feel they can voice that or break away from it. I think moving away from home would be a great experience for you to find yourself outside of your religion!
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    No matter how you handle it, leaving your community and family will be hard, perhaps for the rest of your life. My father left a fundamentalist Christian sect at about 20 and his mother never got over it. They maintained a relationship, but to her dying day she expected him to return to the fold. It was painful as well as ridiculous.

    That being said, he successfully freed himself and lived the life he wanted, in complete freedom in his heart and mind. So long as you are willing to pay the price, you can, too. I wish you luck and respect your courage.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
    do what you want, nobody is forcing you to wear it.
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    [QUOTE=john1332123;67193254]
    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    Follow the path of your ancestors, dont be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet?

    Quran 9:5 (the infamous verse of the sword inciting mass murder):"Then, when the sacred months have passed, slay the idolaters wherever ye find them, and take them (captive), and besiege them, and prepare for them each ambush. But if they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due, then leave their way free. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."Verse 9:5 teaches Muslims to commit mass-murder. The kafirs must either convert to Islam, who would keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate (zakat), or be murdered. Command for unconditional slaying of humans, God's own creations, by other humans – when presented as a sacred teaching of the almighty Creator – becomes a most evil teaching. Needless to say, such teachings never came from God.
    Actually rates of teen pregnancy are improving since sex education was improved, and the best education system in the world is in Finland which is secular. Yes the other issues need resolving too, but religion doesn't fix that, social reform does. There's a reason the Scandinavian countries are doing so great, and it's certainly not to do with religion.
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    Tell your parents. If they love you (as almost all parents do) they will be shocked, but certainly not disown you. If they were to disown you, look at them and ask yourself 'do I want people like this to have control over my choices?.' I can guarantee that no matter how bad 'outing' yourself is, it will be immeasurably better than living a lie for the next three years. When it comes to religion, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
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    (Original post by PursuitOfJannah)
    I think they come here mostly cos of the English language, a few benefits and cos of the anglo american foreign policy i.e. starting wholly unnecessary wars in places like Iraq under the supposed guise of freedom and democracy. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about non London UK. Dubai is **** hot right now.
    then go. its people like you and the OP's parents that give Islam a bad name. Oh and the whole concept and idea of the religion dont help either. Integrate or leave.
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    Islam is a beautiful and peaceful religion. Those who state that they dislike Islam on this thread are uninformed and do not fully understand what Islam promotes, peace and purpose. OP i please recommended reading the Quran with an English translation and youll see the true power of islam as opposed to the war and terror associated links people have especially on this thread. They have been indoctrinated with what the media feeds them. Life is a test and this is one of the challenges that has been inflicted on you, please do not find the wrong way out and leave islam.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 19 year old muslim female. On the surface, I appear to be the ideal muslim e.g. I wear the hijab, my clothes aren't very fitted (although I do wear skinny jeans- all my tops have to go past my bum). But I'm sick of it. After researching Islam, I don't identify with any of it. I genuinely believe religion is bs.

    The thing is, I live in an area which is full of judgemental muslims and my mum would die of shame if I was to take my scarf off and start dressing how I want to (my father died when I was young so she wants her daughters to be seen as respectable as opposed to 'loose'. This year, I gained a place at manchester uni and I saw this as my way out, I thought going to uni away from home would allow me to dress and live how I wanted to. However, I missed the grades for manchester and had to settle for a uni closer to home so now I'm going to be living at home for uni.

    So my dilemma is :should I just stick it out for 3 years and move away when I have a job or should I work hard at uni and transfer to a different uni for second year (but I fear being lonely cause everyone will know each other from first year)..whenever I stay over with my friends at their unis, I just love the freedom available to me and all I want is to live my life the way I want to live it rather than adhering to the rules of a religion which I do not identify with
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    Follow the path of your ancestors, dont be seduced by the free and easy western society. The white British are proof that the atheist path leads to nothing but civilisational decay (the rising homelessness, divorce, falling levels of education, alcoholism, teen pregs) and is that what you want to become? Just another feckless pastry faced gora **** nothing more than a slave to mainstream consumerism, the football scores, cigarettes and 2 for 1 shots at the club. Or do you want to stay human, practising the Dawah, attaining moral greatness and spreading the message of the Prophet?

    This has to be a troll!? This is one of the most appalling things I've ever read. An abhorrent and deeply ignorant generalisation of white british civilians by somebody whose mind is so closed and obviously very small. Not to mention blatant racism. I could go on but I simply must check on my pastry face, which by the way is very difficult to do whilst smoking a 20 deck, checking the football results and necking 2 for 1 jager bombs. I must also apologise for any poor grammar but I didnt attend school after having a baby at 13. Lol

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    can't you do that thing where you take the hijab off when you're just about to reach uni? i know girls who used to do that in school.
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    If you've lost faith in the religion and have made up your mind about leaving it, then I would say go ahead however since you've stated something about the community you live in, it's kind of difficult. I'm guessing your parents aren't the open-minded type. eeh, if you fear it would cause a lot of hate, keep it to yourself, you could make subtle changes like not wearing the headscarf. You're parents/neighbours/friends aren't the type to stab you in your sleep for apostasy are they?
    #1

    (Original post by In Uranus)
    Hiya, I'm a female ex-muslim and so I understand the struggle. :hugs:
    I'm happy for you, in that you've liberated your mind from all the Islamic dogma.

    Ahh that sucks. :/ Regarding uni, is it too late to find another uni? Maybe ring up some universities and ask if they have available spaces? And if that's not possible then a transfer is also an option, like you just said.

    I can understand that you have to pretend to be someone you're not (which is emotionally draining). But one day you'll be free from all this. I think the best option is to wait until you're completely independent before you tell family, which isn't easy, but you need to stay strong and look forward to the future, don't let the present get you down. ('Cause this is a temporary situation).

    If you ever wanna discuss this more, or just talk and stuff, I'm a PM away. :jumphug:
    The unis with courses left in clearing now are crappier unis then the one I'm going to attend so its too late And thanks for the offer its nice to meet a like minded person as opposed to people who blindly follow religion cause they were born into it
 
 
 
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