Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

A single mum keeps hinting we go out for a drink Watch

    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Nothing is wrong with a potential partner being a single mum. However you do have the establish boundaries fairly early on. For example making sure you're not involved in the kids life too early when the relationship isn't extremely serious. It's not so much for either of your sakes, more the kids.

    I know too many girls, who while being lovely girls, get their new BF's too involved with the kids too early. Must be hella confusing for the child.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Zeeiqbal)
    Nope, I'm not a single mother but I can understand as my own sister is a single mum who is divorced and always gets judged by society just because she's been divorced. She hasn't moved on after her divorce.. hope that explains why I understand.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Yeah I understand completely now
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DanB1991)
    Nothing is wrong with a potential partner being a single mum. However you do have the establish boundaries fairly early on. For example making sure you're not involved in the kids life too early when the relationship isn't extremely serious. It's not so much for either of your sakes, more the kids.

    I know too many girls, who while being lovely girls, get their new BF's too involved with the kids too early. Must be hella confusing for the child.
    Exactly I dont personally know any girls like that but I have so many mates who wind up playing step dad for a random bird's egg when he just wanted to shag. She would be desperate like the real dad did a legger so now her hunting skills go way up for the sole purpose of emotional security for herself. That is not healthy at all.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DanB1991)
    Nothing is wrong with a potential partner being a single mum. However you do have the establish boundaries fairly early on. For example making sure you're not involved in the kids life too early when the relationship isn't extremely serious. It's not so much for either of your sakes, more the kids.

    I know too many girls, who while being lovely girls, get their new BF's too involved with the kids too early. Must be hella confusing for the child.
    If I did agree to go for a drink with her this is definitely something I'd have to clarify with her. I'm not looking for a relationship id just want to take things slowly.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 0to100)
    Exactly I dont personally know any girls like that but I have so many mates who wind up playing step dad for a random bird's egg when he just wanted to shag. She would be desperate like the real dad did a legger so now her hunting skills go way up for the sole purpose of emotional security for herself. That is not healthy at all.
    So do you think I should stay well away?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So do you think I should stay well away?
    Is her having a child a problem for you? If so, stay away

    It'll only hurt her
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    Is her having a child a problem for you? If so, stay away

    It'll only hurt her
    I don't know if it is a problem
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If I did agree to go for a drink with her this is definitely something I'd have to clarify with her. I'm not looking for a relationship id just want to take things slowly.
    Surely at the 'going for a drink' stage, that's a tad early? :lol:
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Go have a drink with her, and give her another kid
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Shes hinting you go for a drink and not to become the kids father.
    You're such a rational poster. How old are you?
    Online

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    Kids aren't baggage, if you think that then say no as she can do better.
    If you can overcome it, then just see how things go, you don't have to spend the rest of your life with her
    Lol they're clearly baggage if they ain't your own and you aren't ready to commit to a person for the rest of your life yet. He probably ain't ready to have kids of his own let alone potentially take care of a kid that's not his.

    Basically he finds a single mum with a 3 month old kid attractive. I'm pretty sure he will go out for a drink and not be able to get past the fact she has a kid.

    This is obviously assuming that she is having drinks to establish a relationship, it could just be that she wants to catch up.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    try not to involve yourself with a single mum, its probably best you don't raise their kid. its fine in later life when the kids are grown up, but you will never be the dad.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Stay away. Kids are baggage

    That may be harsh but it's true.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    no.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Also watch 'About a Boy' for the definitive guidance on dating single mums
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    To be fair you can just go ..there's no harm.

    Going out with someone doesn't mean you're stuck with them for life...you could end up being friends or whatever, I don't understand why everyone on here is crying their eyes out?

    Male or female just because someone has a kid (and single) doesn't mean you need to run a mile? They are human too, no?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    Kids aren't baggage, if you think that then say no as she can do better.
    If you can overcome it, then just see how things go, you don't have to spend the rest of your life with her
    Yes they are baggage. Extra baggage(which isn't the OP) that he has to deal with.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A girl who I used to go to school with added me on Facebook a few weeks ago, we never really spoke when we where at high school but I accepted her friend request anyway. From talking to her I found out that she's a single mum (the kid is only 3 months old). She's hinting that me and her go out for a drink, I don't really know her that well and I think the fact that she's a single mum is putting me off a bit. But then again I haven't had much luck with women lately and I'm contemplating whether I should go for a drink with her. What do you think I should do?
    I acc know someone that is in a similar situation, the only difference is that the girl has two babies. Both with different fathers. So this girl shes really pretty used to go to my church then she left and now after 4 years she decided to start talking with this guy i know. And clearly shes looking for a father for her children. But he still went along with it they are together at the moment and most people are agaisnt their relationship because she's clearly looking for something from him its not like she acc likes him. He also accepted quickly because he was desperate.

    I think that you could meet her but i think her intentions are very clear because it is not normal that someone that just had a baby is looking for a partner already so quickly. I dont know but this doesnt sound good at all. But go for a drink and see what happens.
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    Welcome Squad
    It's a drink, go for it

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I acc know someone that is in a similar situation, the only difference is that the girl has two babies. Both with different fathers. So this girl shes really pretty used to go to my church then she left and now after 4 years she decided to start talking with this guy i know. And clearly shes looking for a father for her children. But he still went along with it they are together at the moment and most people are agaisnt their relationship because she's clearly looking for something from him its not like she acc likes him. He also accepted quickly because he was desperate.

    I think that you could meet her but i think her intentions are very clear because it is not normal that someone that just had a baby is looking for a partner already so quickly. I dont know but this doesnt sound good at all. But go for a drink and see what happens.
    My best friend has warned me that he thinks its odd that she's recently only had the baby and is already potentially looking for a partner, but then again I think to myself if it's only a drink surely there's no harm in going.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 30, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.