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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Brit Pakistani have to be one of the Uncoolest people to be in the UK today. No one likes us. Nothing cool about us. Sexist controlling men(from my own experience) Nothing positive about us in the media. No famous female British Pakistani role models-no famous pak Brit females full stop. So many negative news stories e.g, grooming, gangs etc

    We're crap at sports apart from cricket. Our food is good but it will always be called "Indian food".

    All my relatives are married to their cousins. Therefore family want me to marry my cousin from a village in pak FML. Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off. Brb no freedom. Brb no self expression allowed esp if you're female. Brb compulsory to cook and clean for a girl.

    On top of that coming from a Muslim background people are suspicious of us.
    Hey I am a fellow Biritish Pakistani Muslim.
    Your referring to a negative perception of Pakistan in media and in general, yet you are her ranting about how 'uncool' it is being british pakistani, ironic.

    I cannot relate to any of the things you said above.

    You talk about role models, but you dont need to have role models that belong to the same culture as you.
    I have many role models, my father, Ronaldo, certain indivuals in my life and other people, apart from my father none of these people are pakistani , yet they are my role models.

    You say stuff about controlling parents and stuff and bound to be amrried to a controlled husband. thats an unfair statemnet.

    I am only 17 years old, but i know for the fact that i will treat my future wife as a princess, my parents have always taught me to treat your spouse with respect, not to use physical force of any kind and thye repeat the same same many times - everything can be resolved with love, even the biggest of arguments.
    I feel in a way you have set your mindset towards certain things in life, its as if you expect for some things to happen.


    I am a pakistani, i have dreams of becoming the role of model of millions of pakistanis in the future through sport and media, i intend on doing that and i have the confidence that i will. Me being pakistani will not stop that.


    Pakistani Muslims in the media have a bad name in general, so i say why not become the media.

    and i can understand if you have a quite traditional family and stuff, in that case educate yoursefl, become independent and then find a wonderful husband who will treat you properly.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Brit Pakistani have to be one of the Uncoolest people to be in the UK today. No one likes us. Nothing cool about us. Sexist controlling men(from my own experience) Nothing positive about us in the media. No famous female British Pakistani role models-no famous pak Brit females full stop. So many negative news stories e.g, grooming, gangs etc

    We're crap at sports apart from cricket. Our food is good but it will always be called "Indian food".

    All my relatives are married to their cousins. Therefore family want me to marry my cousin from a village in pak FML. Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off. Brb no freedom. Brb no self expression allowed esp if you're female. Brb compulsory to cook and clean for a girl.

    On top of that coming from a Muslim background people are suspicious of us.
    I'm a pakistani male, from quite a religious muslim family and I ****ing hate it. I identify as an atheist but I could never tell my family that otherwise they'd ****ing kill me (not literally, just figuratively!) and when they talk about religion and praying I just feel so distant and alienated from them.

    What also bothers me is, and you mentioned it, is that my family is also quite sexist, as well as homophobic which pisses me off. The women in my family are quite suppressed, similar to yours, they have to cook and clean and don't have much freedom.

    As for role models, well pakistanis do represent only a small proportion of the population so it makes sense that the number of pakistani role models is quite small too, so I don't see it as big of a problem
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    (Original post by yungaheartz)
    um... correct me if i'm wrong but isn't all this culture rather than religion?
    aren't women allowed to DEMAND their own accommodations when they get married?
    Aren't wives allowed to have rights of their own?
    you girls need to try standing your ground, ok against parents it may be hard but try to argue with religious logic.

    First things first - learn about your religion and your rights as a wife. here are a few facts that may baffle you:

    1. a woman cannot be forced into marrying any guy, the decision has to be her choice in the end because a forced marriage doesn't count as a marriage in Islam
    2. before marriage the woman is allowed to set her own demands. if she wants to continue working or studying after marriage or wants her own house or doesn't want to wear a hijab after marriage she is allowed to demand this. most guys say yes because if he refuses her demands then of course she can refuse the marriage
    3. believe it or not the only duty of a daughter-in-law to her parents-in-law is that she has to respect them because they are older than her. she does not have to listen to them, look after them and certainly does not have to put up with any abuse from them
    4. In fact if you study it properly, the only duty of a wife is to give her husband sex
    she doesn't even have to do any housework is she doesn't want to
    5. why oh why do all women forget this. you can walk out of a marriage as easily as you walked into one. if you're not getting your rights exercised or are getting any sort of abuse you can leave your husband. the sad thing is most women don't because of the 'taboo/shame' of being a divorced woman or think its the lesser of two evils to be marriage and miserable/controlled rather than single and alone. and this is the reason why a lot of men are able to treat their wives like doormats, because they know that their wives will let them get away with it

    if you've got nothing to threaten them with, they've got nothing to be intimidated by

    you don't need your parents to have your back. if you've got intelligence, knowledge and God on your side you can handle anything in life.
    What you said is absolutely right, sometimes i can't think properly due to my illness--all optimism is blocked out lmao
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    What you said is absolutely right, sometimes i can't think properly due to my illness--all optimism is blocked out lmao
    still never to late to change love, remember we only have one life, lets make the most of it otherwise one day we'll be old and miserable and we'll look back and think 'seriously why DID i let everyone rule me like that?'

    i don't blame you, you've been controlled since birth so its always harder to break away and take control of your life. but if you have the determination then you can do it!!
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    Eye-opening!! What a great way to look at it. You're totally right about the media. :/ Wish they weren't the eat they are but can't do anything about that.

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    You should form a Pakistani female rebel group and protest for your rights!

    I will help you promote the group (even though I'm 100% British and privileged)

    I will make posters for you saying that you should have rights.

    I want to help you!


    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by cookie123456789)
    You should form a Pakistani female rebel group and protest for your rights!

    I will help you promote the group (even though I'm 100% British and privileged)

    I will make posters for you saying that you should have rights.

    I want to help you!


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    Lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lol
    Why lol?
    I want to help this Pakistani girl


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Brit Pakistani have to be one of the Uncoolest people to be in the UK today. No one likes us. Nothing cool about us. Sexist controlling men(from my own experience) Nothing positive about us in the media. No famous female British Pakistani role models-no famous pak Brit females full stop. So many negative news stories e.g, grooming, gangs etc

    We're crap at sports apart from cricket. Our food is good but it will always be called "Indian food".

    All my relatives are married to their cousins. Therefore family want me to marry my cousin from a village in pak FML. Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off. Brb no freedom. Brb no self expression allowed esp if you're female. Brb compulsory to cook and clean for a girl.

    On top of that coming from a Muslim background people are suspicious of us.
    My mums boyfriend is white and her other boyfriend is Kurdish and my stepdad is Pakistani
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    (Original post by cookie123456789)
    Why lol?
    I want to help this Pakistani girl


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    .
    Really you like Pakistani women
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    Political Ambassador
    Welcome Squad
    People should be proud of their ethnicity. The media tries to portray a bad image for some ethnicities, but truth is that's just a very small minority that is portrayed. All ethnicities have some bad people. But a lot more good people
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    My mums Pakistani but shes got a English gora boyfriend and shes also got a Kurdish boyfriend and she is married to my Pakistani stepdad as well
 
 
 
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