Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Should I tell a girl her boyfriend is cheating?! watch

  • View Poll Results: Should I tell her that her boyfriend is cheating?
    Tell her
    32
    82.05%
    Keep your mouth shut
    7
    17.95%

    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    Morally, it's generally right to let someone know they're being snaked out, but, in real life, I wouldn't get involved if I didn't know the people involved. It's a bit weird to meddle in the affairs of complete strangers.

    This is a bit different, though, especially since OP has herself hooked up with the cheater. In OP's situation, I'd feel obliged to let the girl know; cheating is one of the scummiest things someone can do and the girl would be better off knowing the truth as soon as possible.

    Yeah, that's the thing. As much as it may be right to inform the girl, nobody knows how she would react, even when proof of cheating is provided. Plus the bloke would react angrily, too. You'd perhaps have to find a way to give the girl the information anonymously.
    She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by xobeauty)
    She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
    Most people I know would end a relationship if their partner cheated. Even if she didn't she should still be aware of it.
    Online

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 0to100)
    It just sounds like sabotage and not something honourable as you are trying to put it.
    I don't see it that way at all. Sabotage implies that it will be advantageous to OP or that it is in retaliation to something when this is not the case at all.
    I will continue to view telling this girl as a positive thing, and I think you will continue to view it in a negative light so let's agree to disagree.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xobeauty)
    She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
    Yeah, the bloke could sell her some BS/sob story or the girl could just go into denial. Usually, the person who breaks the news actually gets the most hate and nothing positive happens.

    While the intention is good, I'm not sure it would play out well irl.

    It's a very grey area.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lonyeka)
    I don't see it that way at all. Sabotage implies that it will be advantageous to OP or that it is in retaliation to something when this is not the case at all.
    I will continue to view telling this girl as a positive thing, and I think you will continue to view it in a negative light so let's agree to disagree.
    Nah you're not gonna dismiss me when you quoted me 1st.

    Sabotage is simply doing something to hurt someone else. And it would seem that way. Did you read the op? He/She's not dating the guy anymore. A month has passed since she's been in contact with him or the girl. OP clearly moved on and felt no reason to say anything before. She left the guy supposedly and that's really the best thing to do. Going around planting seeds of doubt is just wrong. She also hinted beforehand and the gf obliviously denied it. So screw it. If she was still dating him and said something it would seem like she wants the relationship to fall apart so she can take him. Hopefully that's not the case.
    Online

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by 0to100)
    Nah you're not gonna dismiss me when you quoted me 1st.

    Sabotage is simply doing something to hurt someone else. And it would seem that way. Did you read the op? He/She's not dating the guy anymore. A month has passed since she's been in contact with him or the girl. OP clearly moved on and felt no reason to say anything before. She left the guy supposedly and that's really the best thing to do. Going around planting seeds of doubt is just wrong. She also hinted beforehand and the gf obliviously denied it. So screw it.
    Why do you want to keep this convo going round in circles. I started the quoting and I attempted to end them because it is clocking 3:00am. But whatever, I can keep at it.

    I don't see how it's sabotage because OP wants to tell the girl no doubt so that she avoid further pain and so that she can find out about the cheating before she gets anymore invested in the relationship. It's much better for her to find out now rather than later as she'll be wasting her time on a guy who doesn't respect her and can cut her losses sooner if that's what she chooses to do.

    OP is thinking about telling the girl because she realised that he's still cheating and that he's not being honest with his girlfriend despite OP urging him to be the first time.

    Edit: It's not "seeds of doubt" if OP knows for a fact that he is cheating.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Obviously if it's your relative or friend you have to tell them, you'd be a **** if you didn't.

    But I can't believe so many people are looking to meddle in other people's situations. Mind your own business, you don't know the situation and you don't know how she will respond if you do tell her.

    Keep it to yourself.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    You know what annoys me, if a guy was being cheated on most people wouldn't hesitate to tell him. but when a girl is getting cheated on some people are like its none of ya business? Make it your business, you'd want to know wouldn't you?!
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by yungaheartz)
    You know what annoys me, if a guy was being cheated on most people wouldn't hesitate to tell him. but when a girl is getting cheated on some people are like its none of ya business? Make it your business, you'd want to know wouldn't you?!
    First bit is strange.

    & lol, I probably would already know, a lot of people do they just choose not to believe it.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Tell her obv
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Hi All,

    Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
    • Community Assistant
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    Hi All,

    Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
    Good luck, hope it goes well

    Let us know how she reacts to it
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Subcutaneous)
    Hi All,

    Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
    How enticing

    We look forward to the update
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 2, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.