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Crying until 5am because I'm a disappointment Watch

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    >OP, Like everyone else here I am shocked and saddened by how you have been treated and the stress you must have been under. I also agree that YOU got an OFFER from CAMBRIDGE!! Well done!! Very impressive!! I'll be honest though, I'm concerned that the stress and perhaps the fear of expectations caused you to implode....caused your hypochondria. You sound like you live in an emotionally toxic area. So, my advice....go back to a counselor (get a new one) and find a way to work out what is the underlying reason you went from having such great grades that you were offered a place at Cambridge to making U's. That is a big red flag!! You are obviously very, very capable.... Cambridge doesn't give out offers to just anyone! Please, please do start fresh again but you are going to have the get the mental issues in order. You are NOT ALONE! So, so many people suffer from mental anxiety causing all kinds of trouble but help is available and you would greatly benefit! WHEN you reapply try Cambridge again or maybe you want to go for a different uni in the Russel Group. You are right! You are better than living in that toxic environment. BUT, you have control over your own destiny and you have to put the work in (again) and find a way to cope with your insecurities, anxiety etc. so you can be successful. Oh, and don't worry about your age, my brother took a five year 'gap year' to pursue a different dream but he's off to a good uni this year! He will be a fresher at 23!
    Speaking of successful...... even the best and the brightest have failed! It's not that you fail (because we all do!) its how you get back up and forge your own path into the future!
    From Business Insider:
    Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas." Several more of his businesses failed before the premiere of his movie "Snow White"

    Oprah Winfrey was publicly fired from her first television job as an anchor in Baltimore for getting "too emotionally invested in her stories."
    Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts multiple times.

    Carey Mulligan was rejected from every single drama school she applied to. An auditor at Drama Center London told her to be a "children's TV show presenter" instead.

    Lady Gaga got dropped by her record label, Island Def Jam, after 3 months. Upon receiving the news, she "cried so hard so couldn't speak".

    Director Ang Lee failed Taiwan's college entrance exams — twice. Then he tried to go to acting school, but his English wasn't good enough.
    "I was always in shame that I could not focus on books," Lee told ABC News. "And I failed the college examinations. My father was my high school principle...That was bad." In theater school, he fell in love with the stage, but his English wasn't good enough.
    Now, he's an a three-time Academy Award-winning director, and the man behind mega hits like "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon," "Life of Pi," and "Brokeback Mountain."

    Akio Morita: You may not have heard of Morita but you’ve undoubtedly heard of his company, Sony. Sony’s first product was a rice cooker that unfortunately didn’t cook rice so much as burn it, selling less than 100 units. This first setback didn’t stop Morita and his partners as they pushed forward to create a multi-billion dollar company.



    You can do this! Get back up and go make a great life! (but I hope you can go to an area where the people will be more supportive and uplifting).

    GOOD LUCK!
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    Anyone in life who has achieved great things has experienced failures. It doesn't define you, you rise up and fight back for what you want. Life is short, embrace the good and bad and keep going. Good luck xxx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, I just wanna say that this is the first night since results day that I haven't cried myself to sleep and its mainly down to the supportive comments on this thread so thanks guys.
    And also, I know that I should retake. Its the obvious thing to do but I just can't, like I literally don't have it in me and it scares me thinking about retaking and then doing just as badly. And I know this may sound arrogant but I've always been a 'high achiever' and I thought I would be starting uni by 19 tops so the thought of studying for my a levels at the age of 20 makes me so depressed and deep down I know that my hearts not in doing them again. But I will look into transferring after first year.
    My grades were BCC btw.
    Asides from that, I just wanna say thanks again to everyone who has posted. Its made a change from people calling me a failure/loser/disappointment/**** up at least 3 times a day.
    You have to make important decisions in your life and be able to cope with changing situations. You should resit, but its your choice.
    • Community Assistant
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    Sorry to hear you have missed your offer at Cambridge.

    I also agree with the poster who said the only people who are failures are the people treating you badly. They should be supportive of you, instead of belittling you.

    However, you are going to uni and economics is a great subject!

    You have plenty of time to be successful! You could resit, however, it is down to you.

    I wish you the very best of luck for your journey and success!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, I just wanna say that this is the first night since results day that I haven't cried myself to sleep and its mainly down to the supportive comments on this thread so thanks guys.
    And also, I know that I should retake. Its the obvious thing to do but I just can't, like I literally don't have it in me and it scares me thinking about retaking and then doing just as badly. And I know this may sound arrogant but I've always been a 'high achiever' and I thought I would be starting uni by 19 tops so the thought of studying for my a levels at the age of 20 makes me so depressed and deep down I know that my hearts not in doing them again. But I will look into transferring after first year.
    My grades were BCC btw.
    Asides from that, I just wanna say thanks again to everyone who has posted. Its made a change from people calling me a failure/loser/disappointment/**** up at least 3 times a day.
    I'm glad you're feeling better. I understand how the thought of re-sitting and going through the process again may make you feel like pulling your eye balls out. I get that. But I really don't agree that sitting A-levels at 20 makes you a failure, especially considering you had mental health problems, I.e extenuating circumstances!

    Just think, in a few years time, imagine your graduation. Would you rather be graduating with a degree from your local uni at 21/22. Or would you rather graduate from Cambridge at 23?

    Please that one year makes no difference. People take gap years all the time!

    Speaking as a recent graduate, the job market is so, so tough. Having a degree from Cambridge will give you so much more potential and opportunities than going to an average, local uni. You can't see that now because your perspective is in a different place. But I worry that you really may regret giving up on Cambridge.
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    "I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life."

    Get back up and prove them wrong

    Some days you’ll have setbacks, but just know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.

    Sometimes, you have to get knocked down lower than you ever have been to stand back taller than you were.

    "I am not concerned that you have fallen. I am concerned that you arise." - Abraham Lincoln

    "I have missed 9000 shots in my career, lost more than 300 games, and 26 times when trusted to take the winning shots, missed them. I have failed over and over and over again and that is the reason I succeed." - Michael Jordan

    Albert Einstein wasn't able to speak until he was almost 4 years old and his teachers said he would "never amount to much".

    "I failed my exam in some subjects but my friend passed. Now he's an engineer at Microsoft and I am the owner." - Bill Gates
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    I am so sorry to hear this, I really do feel for you. But I agree with the people saying to repeat your A levels and get into Cambridge. You clearly had the potential to get into a much more prestigious uni than the one you going to go. As another poster said earlier, the job market is extremely competitive and having a degree from Cambridge does make your life easier. This is especially true for as you want to break into investment banking. Starting uni at 20 is absolutely no big deal, and you should really consider whether you actually want to settle down for second best. Good luck in whatever you decided to do.*
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    Believe in yourself... I'm afraid the truth is hard to swallow sometimes! I hope it does get better - I sympathise.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.


    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
    this will sound absurd

    but listen to russell brand's youtube channel

    he has some great advice about stuff like this
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

    As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

    My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

    I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

    I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.
    Fear itself is an irrational phobia, life conditions you to challenge your fears one step at a time until the word fear itself becomes hollow and irrelevant. You only allow yourself to feel that... I understand how you feel with the situation, I myself went through a lot. I never planned on doing anything with my life. It was only until I tried and stopped listening to people. The measure of your strength is where you decide to stand in the moment of adversity, if you don't stand for something, you definitely fall for something. Life is about perspective and how you decide to perceive things. Instead of letting hate dictate decisions. Make hate the drive to do well... no greater pleasure in life to prove to someone who said you couldn't do anything.

    Hope this helps...

    PM if you need more advice
 
 
 
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