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Big nose, shattered self confidence, crying my eyes out watch

    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by robertpiktos)
    Listen my advice to you is ignore everyone and focus on your studies.
    Study all day and night.
    Because that's what matters in life, to get good grades.
    So give a damn about your looks and study like crazy.
    I did study, I'm at my dream uni now doing my dream course and my nose is still making me unhappy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I did study, I'm at my dream uni now doing my dream course and my nose is still making me unhappy
    Wonderful.
    So just study all day , don't go out witu people.
    Study all day, and get a stellar degree so you could get a good job.
    Forget about your nose, and on what other people think of your looks,focus only on your studies.
    That's my advice to you.
    • #3
    #3

    Hey, I got a big nose too, and lemme tell you secret: Every single female (even the supermodels. Especially the supermodels) thinks she looks ugly. Really ugly. I remember when my mum told me, I thought it was only me. But it ain't
    So if you wanna go and try to fix it up, go ahead. If you think that's gonna make you feel better, ok. But just remember - there's always gonna be some little (or big) pickle you have with your appearance, so just try not to let it become a big part of your life. You've got an amazing life ahead of you, so just go for it, girl!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep this anon. I'm crying my eyes out and don't want to go outside because of my nose, since puberty hit me I've always had the suspicion my nose was big and one time a guy even told me it was. It's not ginormous or crooked, it's quite straight but a bit long/Roman like (like a Greek nose I think)
    but I've been wanting a nose job for ages and I found this nose surgeon who had a number on his website that you could send pics of your yourself to and he'd give you a quote for it. So I stupidly did that and I wished I hadn't, just look at the reply I got back for it, I can't stop crying;
    "Hello .You have a cartilaginous nose with thick skin. your nose is wide and asymmetrical. In profile view, The length of the nose (distance between radix and tip in the side view) is big and needs to be reduced. If we rate an ideal perfect nose on your face as 100, you will achieve 70 after surgery"

    Basically I can't have a nose job as I'm going back to uni so would have to wait for next summer holiday for recover but now the thought of waiting another year with my nose is making me Want to cry even more.
    Whenever I go outside I feel like I need to angle myself so people next to me can't see my nose as they must see me and think omg she's so gross look at her nose it makes her look like a man.
    I'm quite petite as well so I feel like my nose sticks out on me even more as its so out of harmony with the rest of my body
    Idk why I really posted but I'm just so down and can't stop crying. I didn't tell my mum I sent my pictures to this plastic surgeon as I know she'll get mad and upset and say I should wait.
    I like big noses! x
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    I think... perhaps you should attach a picture? Just your nose, not the rest of your face. Because I think we're all thinking 'it can't be THAT bad!' If we find out that you have a literal elephant trunk then maybe you have a point but if your nose is a bit bigger than usual I'm sure nobody will really think it's a big deal. Sounds like those guys were being *******s and wanted to find something you might be insecure about to mess with your feelings, because some people are like that and have fun out of trying to make other people upset. And like people have said, a surgeon's job is to tell you that you need work done. Wtf is an 100% perfect nose anyway? Everyone has a very different kind of nose....

    Like, I know people with some noses that aren't conventionally attractive (big noses) but don't forget you have eyes, a mouth, hair etc too on your face that can give you a unique, appealing look. Focus on the parts of your face that you do like!! Even if your nose IS bigger than usual, people will still find you attractive for definite. It doesn't make you ugly. I have a bigger nose than most girls but it's not really a hindrance to my appearance when you look at my eyes, mouth etc.

    All that being said, if you're dead certain you want a nose job and you won't be happy otherwise of course do it. But remember even then - you may regret it if it goes wrong. And if it's not what you want fixing it can be even more expensive, and even then it could get even worse by your standards, and you might permanently regret it. Plastic surgeons can be shady people and in the UK you hear a lot of stories about plastic surgeons being inexperienced and making mistakes... plastic surgery isn't a big thing here so there's no guaranteed success. Be very careful if you do go ahead with it in a year's time or so.
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    His holiness the 14th Dalai Lama said, "true change is within, leave the outside as it is." In other words, if you want to be beautiful you must purify yourself. A common misconception is that what you look like is what determines beauty, but the body is just a vessel for keeping us alive. The body ages and dies, then it decays into sludge and is feasted on by maggots. There's really nothing beautiful about it at all. If you're a good person with an undesirable body, you're infinitely more beautiful than an evil person with the body of a supermodel.
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    I have a similar issue but with my arm.

    Back story:

    Black in secondary school I hated PE simply because of the burn i have on my left arm.

    Wearing a short armed T-shirt meant everyone could see the burn on my arm.

    People kept asking me questions, making me feel insecure and uncomfortable and not like "normal" person with perfect hands

    I felt like every time i walked passed, everyone was staring at my left arm.


    Even now, i don't feel confident going out with short sleeve clothing and would always go for long sleve t-shirt to cover up.

    having said that, through my experience, i have realised that its actually not that deep and that people don't actually care unless it affects them.


    All of my thoughts about people making remarks about my left arm etc were just pieces of shi*T, in reality, most people did not care.


    All in all, you have to get rid of these negative thoughts holding you back because MOST of the time NOBODY CARES.
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    The plastic surgeon isn't gonna say:

    "Your nose is alright, you definitely don't need to pay me lots of money to fix it."
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    Op the reason you got this reply is basically because you pushed for it. If we all sent pictures of our noses to this surgeon we would all get replies stating the perceived faults of our noses too! When we are stressed/worried about something we tend to seek information to validate our own views. Cognitive behavioural therapy bases its treatment on the fact that in life our thoughts/perceptions influence our behaviours and therefore feelings. It seems this is happening with you.. you feel unhappy with your nose so you email a surgeon whose job it is to pick out and correct 'faults' and so this reinforces your feelings. Really what did you expect him to say when his job is to find aesthetic imperfections (which many would argue are subjective anyway) and 'improve' them lol?? If you him a picture of Cheryl Cole you would also get a critical reply. Try to break this habit by seeing your positives, you likely don't have the perfect nose but firstly who does and secondly do you really think that everyone is focused on your nose like you are? They certainly won't be, everyone will perceive you in a different ways. Think of some compliments that people have given you and try to focus on these.

    Back at college for some psychology facial attractiveness class activity I was rated the least facially attractive in the class. My class mates individually gave me a string of 4's and 5's out of 10. Other people were getting 7's and 8's but I was rated the lowest even lower than the 40 odd year old male teacher. I was slim, kept myself fit so it shocked me and really upset me. I was going through a bad time anyway, had no friends, was socially awkward and had no confidence but I never saw myself as ugly until then. I started to post pictures anonymously online asking for honest opinions, some people said I looked fine others relished in pointing out how ugly I was, guess which comments I chose to focus on and believe. What I ignored though was the fact that I wasn't dressing nice nor trying to look pretty. My hair was short (some brown wavy chin length Bob), always looked unstylish and I didn't wear make up. I dressed like a 13 year old lad in tracksuit pants, trainers and baggy t shirts. When I started to make more of an effort I found that I got more compliments. The best one was my cousin said I could be a model though I'l never believe it as shes highly likely wrong lol but it shows how people perceive/thinkdifferently. Sure I'l never be stunning but I realise that attraction is largely about elements we can change too. If I try to enhance my positives and make the best of what I've got I can look quite nice and I'm fine with how I look. I'm now worried about getting old lol. I feel I wasted my youth worrying about how people saw my face.
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    They said it was worse than it actually is to get your money.
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    Girl, I have been in this position before. Throughout highschool i was bullied because i also have a big nose, like really big i dont even undertand. I think i have a superpower for smell 😂. However i would not change it for anything because its what makes me different. All the school bullies who used to take the mick dont bother me anymore. I found good friends who appriciated me for who i am and set aside differences. Most of the people who do bully others are just ignorant and nevative towards anything that isnt like them, or is even "cool and trending". But not i also am going to my dream uni where i will hopefully fine more respectful friends. Dont let someone elses opinions change who you are, especially through surgey, you'll just let them win. You can have whatever you want and no once will care. You have friends and family who love you for who you are, so if there is one person who loves you there is bound to be more. But the most important thing is to always love yourself. *hugs*
    • #4
    #4

    Some of the comments I just read have saddened me
    No one has the right to tell you to "get a grip", you are very clearly upset!
    I know exactly what it is like to not feel confident in your own appearance, and I've learned to surround myself with people who make me feel beautiful . People who reassure me my "flaws" are simply something I overthink.
    Honestly, I for one am definitely not someone to judge someone by their appearance, or make comments, however the sad truth is that there are people who will do that. What you need to do is stay clear of those, and instead keep close the ones who will assure you that you have nothing to worry about.
    As for the reply you received regarding a nose job, please remember that these sorts of people will tell you those sort of things because they want your business. If they over-exaggerate , potential customers are more likely to think they need their services.
    I hope you can find the self confidence you need. Perhaps try working on that first? Hopefully you will learn to love yourself the way you are with no need for surgery.
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    Consider that this surgeon is trying to convince you to pay for his very expensive unnecessary surgery.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    The thing to remember here is that the plastic surgeon is happy to tell you your nose isn't good because he is gambling on this emotion from people to fund his livelihood.

    I worked in the beauty industry and some bosses really encouraged this from staff to increase sales (I always refused to comply. Right on!).

    You're beautiful as you are. Take my word for it.*
    Sorry, that's some horse crap.
    No one's beautiful looks wise just for being alive otherwise the word would have no meaning, with that said OP you need to give less of a damn about your nose whether you decide to have the surgery or not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just read the comment the surgeon made about my nose, just read it, he's saying my nos is assymetrical and long. He's saying even after surgery I'll be a 70/100 God knows what I am now probably 0 I wish I was born as someone else
    Remember that the surgeon is picturing the 'perfect nose', and is also trying to get business. My nose is alright, but if it were to be evaluated then it could definitely be called crooked and probably assymetrical.
    You don't know what 70/100 is? If the average nose is 50, then 70 is pretty darn beautiful the way which surgeons describe procedures is cold and clinical, and is not the same as daily perception.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep this anon. I'm crying my eyes out and don't want to go outside because of my nose, since puberty hit me I've always had the suspicion my nose was big and one time a guy even told me it was. It's not ginormous or crooked, it's quite straight but a bit long/Roman like (like a Greek nose I think)
    but I've been wanting a nose job for ages and I found this nose surgeon who had a number on his website that you could send pics of your yourself to and he'd give you a quote for it. So I stupidly did that and I wished I hadn't, just look at the reply I got back for it, I can't stop crying;
    "Hello .You have a cartilaginous nose with thick skin. your nose is wide and asymmetrical. In profile view, The length of the nose (distance between radix and tip in the side view) is big and needs to be reduced. If we rate an ideal perfect nose on your face as 100, you will achieve 70 after surgery"

    Basically I can't have a nose job as I'm going back to uni so would have to wait for next summer holiday for recover but now the thought of waiting another year with my nose is making me Want to cry even more.
    Whenever I go outside I feel like I need to angle myself so people next to me can't see my nose as they must see me and think omg she's so gross look at her nose it makes her look like a man.
    I'm quite petite as well so I feel like my nose sticks out on me even more as its so out of harmony with the rest of my body
    Idk why I really posted but I'm just so down and can't stop crying. I didn't tell my mum I sent my pictures to this plastic surgeon as I know she'll get mad and upset and say I should wait.
    Of course the plastic surgeon is going to try and say stuff to convince you you need his business, it's the nature of non-essential health services. He/ she wants your money so of course he/ she is going to try and drum up business.

    Your nose is probably fine, as long as it isn't causing you any health problems there's no need to have surgery. Everybody when you're out and about walking is going to be too busy worrying about what they look like to be bothered about your nose so stop with the nasty thoughts
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    Once you get the rhinoplasty you'll find other flaws to fix. Don't do it!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep this anon. I'm crying my eyes out and don't want to go outside because of my nose, since puberty hit me I've always had the suspicion my nose was big and one time a guy even told me it was. It's not ginormous or crooked, it's quite straight but a bit long/Roman like (like a Greek nose I think)
    but I've been wanting a nose job for ages and I found this nose surgeon who had a number on his website that you could send pics of your yourself to and he'd give you a quote for it. So I stupidly did that and I wished I hadn't, just look at the reply I got back for it, I can't stop crying;
    "Hello .You have a cartilaginous nose with thick skin. your nose is wide and asymmetrical. In profile view, The length of the nose (distance between radix and tip in the side view) is big and needs to be reduced. If we rate an ideal perfect nose on your face as 100, you will achieve 70 after surgery"

    Basically I can't have a nose job as I'm going back to uni so would have to wait for next summer holiday for recover but now the thought of waiting another year with my nose is making me Want to cry even more.
    Whenever I go outside I feel like I need to angle myself so people next to me can't see my nose as they must see me and think omg she's so gross look at her nose it makes her look like a man.
    I'm quite petite as well so I feel like my nose sticks out on me even more as its so out of harmony with the rest of my body
    Idk why I really posted but I'm just so down and can't stop crying. I didn't tell my mum I sent my pictures to this plastic surgeon as I know she'll get mad and upset and say I should wait.
    So what if the surgeon wrote that ? Because it's not bad. He had to write something and he had to be honest. Would you prefer him to lie ?
    It would be worse if horrible comments were being made by other people on social media as this is a very common thing people go through with bullying online so thats what you should cry about, not a surgeons honesty
    Most people cant afford surgery so you should count yourself lucky you have the money to do it.
    You can still have surgery if you're going to uni because it might not take that much time to recover but even if you wait til next summer at least you know you can afford to get it done

    There is a thread on here called
    Ugly and Gay? Read it and maybe you will stop feeling sorry for yourself because he has it much worse than you.
    That guy can't afford any surgery so you are very lucky that you can so you should give him some support and words of encouragement because at least you can do something about changing yourself, he can't.
    Type Mascara Boys on You Tube and watch that show about people who had or want surgery

    Just wear sunglasses everytime you go out, this will give you more confidence to go out and distract people from looking at your nose
    I have always been laughed at for having big eyes. Random strangers would burst out laughing or comment on how big my eyes are so for years i wore tinted sunglasses i bought in the pound shop as you can get good ones in there. But 2 years ago i stopped caring what people said and stopped wearing the sunglasses everyday as i realised these mean ,evil people are really insecure about themselves and must have lots of problems in their lives to make fun of other's for the way they look
    I always wished i could have surgery to make them smaller but i could never afford it plus if i did have the money i would never go through with it anyway because people should learn to accept me for the way I am
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    I have a love-hate relationship with my nose, but you know what? I'm not about to project the way I feel about a part of my face onto people around me. Assuming everyone you meet is secretly judging your nose is bound to cause paranoia, which is very upsetting, and can also be unhealthy in the long run. It's fine to not be happy with a certain aspect of your appearance, and if you'd feel better having rhinoplasty, go ahead. The key, however, is to not allow yourself to get beaten into the ground by believing that people are spending any length of time thinking about your nose. They have a million other things to think about - their own nose potentially being one of them.
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    (Original post by XOR_)
    Sorry, that's some horse crap.
    No one's beautiful looks wise just for being alive otherwise the word would have no meaning, with that said OP you need to give less of a damn about your nose whether you decide to have the surgery or not.
    Everyone has something about them that makes them beautiful and I massively pity people who can't see that.
 
 
 
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