When is it too late for the no contact rule?

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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    What I mean is don't expect her to get back into contact after some time of no contact or expect she will come running back to you, you have to move on with life, some things are just not meant to be. Talking from personal experience.
    I'm not taking it for granted by any means, don't worry.
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    Honestly 4 days is nothing, my ex boyfriend STILL wanted to reconcile after 19/20 months of being a part. I didn't want to and said no.

    I did have hints post 5/6 months our break up, he wanted to reconcile but I don't wish to do so. So he tried to reconcile with me roughly 2/3 times. I don't really care so I haven't kept track of exact numbers. Sorry.

    I hate him and despise his existence, reconciliation is never going to happen.

    Not 2 years or 5 years whatever, I don't care.

    The point is if she really loved you then she will definitely still have feelings for you, it depends on how strong they are for you and if she's willing to give you a "second chance".

    Why did she break up with you?
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    You know the no contact rule? "Don't talk to you ex for at least 30 days if you want a chance of getting them back", is this too late to be effective if it's been almost two months since breakup? Bearing in mind there's no bad blood, she still messages me first but is very platonic and the initial strong post-break up feelings are dying down.
    I read your other thread and i have to be honest i dont think she wants anything more than friendship and one thing that i noticed was that she said she was still physically attracted to you thats great but you should care whether she has still has strong feelings for you which you never mentioned. You can go no contact and she might miss you but if she sees you as an important person in her life she wouldnt want to lose you hence why she kept in contact before when you tried it. I don't think she has romantic feelings anymore maybe she likes the attention you give her but i know if i had strong feelings for someone i would want to make it work like you said one day you want to be with her again and she said thats unlikely.
    If i were you after this night out just try and move on dont play games or else you will waiting forever and get hurt.
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    (Original post by Ishax)
    Honestly 4 days is nothing, my ex boyfriend STILL wanted to reconcile after 19/20 months of being a part. I didn't want to and said no.

    I did have hints post 5/6 months our break up, he wanted to reconcile but I don't wish to do so. So he tried to reconcile with me roughly 2/3 times. I don't really care so I haven't kept track of exact numbers. Sorry.

    I hate him and despise his existence, reconciliation is never going to happen.

    Not 2 years or 5 years whatever, I don't care.

    The point is if she really loved you then she will definitely still have feelings for you, it depends on how strong they are for you and if she's willing to give you a "second chance".

    Why did she break up with you?
    She broke up with me because towards say, the last five weeks of the relationship I started to get quite jealous, which in turn lead to a big argument that caused the breakup. She also said something about us both being really busy but that, I strongly suspect, was just a generic reason to soften the blow.

    Mind you, all of that aside, I think the only reason anyone ever really dumps anyone at the end of the day is that they don't feel about them like they used to.
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    Contact terminated. I sent her a text this morning and did it.
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    UPDATE: I realise this thread may just become me talking to myself but I honestly need to hear some good likely/unlikely odds from you guys so I can think about how high I should put my hopes.

    We had a great night last night, and she was even a touch bit flirty in places but not enough so, at the end I told her in person I still liked her and it wasn't healthy for us to stay friends. She sniffled a bit, but there weren't tears (she's never cried in-front of me), she said she didn't want to say goodbye but that she'd see me in a few months anyway at a gig. She also said she didn't plan on getting back. I saw loads of lads pop up on her phone but I see no evidence what so ever that she has a boyfriend, she could be dating, but I am too.

    I'm not talking to her again for 30 days, we broke up nearly two months ago now and our first date was in February. People with experience in the area, if you could be so kind as to rate my chances from 1-10 of no contact being effective for it's secondary purpose (getting her back), what would you say they were?

    Cheers
    What do you mean by 'she didnt plan on getting back'. It depends what her feelings are for you if its strong she will want you back in her life if not then she will have moved on after the 30 days and meet someone new.
    The ball is in her court she needs to be left alone and decide what she wants as she knows how you feel. I do think she dosent want you out her life as a friend but i dont think she will go back together with you but that depends how she really feels for you which we dont know.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    What do you mean by 'she didnt plan on getting back'. It depends what her feelings are for you if its strong she will want you back in her life if not then she will have moved on after the 30 days and meet someone new.
    The ball is in her court she needs to be left alone and decide what she wants as she knows how you feel. I do think she dosent want you out her life as a friend but i dont think she will go back together with you but that depends how she really feels for you which we dont know.
    You seem very reasonable. I know for a fact that we don't know, hell she probably doesn't even know, but my question is what do you think is likely and by leaving it nearly 2 months have I sat on it too long?
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    You seem very reasonable. I know for a fact that we don't know, hell she probably doesn't even know, but my question is what do you think is likely and by leaving it nearly 2 months have I sat on it too long?
    If you see each other regularly then it might make her miss you but if you dont see her as much then it might not work as she might get used to your absence.

    I think yes you might have left it late as you were just chatting and hanging out as friends after your break up but dont blame yourself as she has told you she dosent plan on getting back with you again so i dont think it is salvagable sorry.

    You havent been together for 2 months i think you will find yourself not missing her as much and realising you dont need her.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    If you see each other regularly then it might make her miss you but if you dont see her as much then it might not work as she might get used to your absence.

    I think yes you might have left it late as you were just chatting and hanging out as friends after your break up but dont blame yourself as she has told you she dosent plan on getting back with you again so i dont think it is salvagable sorry.

    You havent been together for 2 months i think you will find yourself not missing her as much and realising you dont need her.
    Thank you for your honest opinion, I will be keeping active on social medias to make up for the distance between us. I was very stupid in that two months and I sincerely hope that I've cut it off just in time but I understand that this is by no means even likely.
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    Thank you for your honest opinion, I will be keeping active on social medias to make up for the distance between us. I was very stupid in that two months and I sincerely hope that I've cut it off just in time but I understand that this is by no means even likely.
    There is a reason you both broke up and maybe she dont want to be with you again if you both had problems while you were together. Also if you were going no contact you need absolutely no chance of being in contact with her and she will still see your presence on social media so will know you are still around.
    Good luck hope it works out.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    There is a reason you both broke up and maybe she dont want to be with you again if you both had problems while you were together. Also if you were going no contact you need absolutely no chance of being in contact with her and she will still see your presence on social media so will know you are still around.
    Good luck hope it works out.
    Those issues we have have been worked on, but appealing to the "I've got better" part of her mind is useless without emotion. Also hang on are you saying make it clear I'm on social media without her so she misses me or stay inactive so I've gone off the radar?
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    Come to think of it is is alarming at that when I said I couldn't be friends without being more she was quick to catch on that we would have to stop talking. Maybe I've left it too late I really really can't tell.
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    Those issues we have have been worked on, but appealing to the "I've got better" part of her mind is useless without emotion. Also hang on are you saying make it clear I'm on social media without her so she misses me or stay inactive so I've gone off the radar?
    If you are still posting online she knows you are still around if you stay inactive she will wonder what you are up to and how you are I would stay off it completely but that's just me as I hardly go on it or post anything. *
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    (Original post by chikane)
    If you are still posting online she knows you are still around if you stay inactive she will wonder what you are up to and how you are I would stay off it completely but that's just me as I hardly go on it or post anything. *
    I've decided to post fairly run of the mill stuff to show I'm indifferent about not talking 😊
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    2 days down 28 days to go...
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    Before I even start this thread I want to say that if anyone tells me "no contact isn't about getting your ex back its for you recovering", save your energy. I know this and I understand it full well. It isn't relevant to the conversation.

    Anyway, I've already made two threads about my ex, first when I was in an early crisis after she dumped me and secondly after I was preparing to start the no contact rule, for those of you who don't know, NC is where you don't talk to your ex in any way shape or form that is avoidable for about 30 days.

    I'm on day three, and I want to hear from people, mainly guys dumped by girls, who've tried this sort of thing (purposefully or by instinct), and I want to know if you ever got back together with your ex or turned down a chance to. Equally, I'd like to hear from anyone who tried it and failed. Nice to sort my expectations out 😊
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    Go sleep with another girl, online date, hibernate, anything. Just give up on this girl. List the qualities about her that made her so special. Read that list again and realise that dozens of other girls have the exact same traits. She is NOT anything special
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    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    Go sleep with another girl, online date, hibernate, anything. Just give up on this girl. List the qualities about her that made her so special. Read that list again and realise that dozens of other girls have the exact same traits. She is NOT anything special
    I've already got to 2nd base with any other girl, I'm aware there's other girls. That isn't really what I asked but thanks anyway.
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    (Original post by Lockra)
    Before I even start this thread I want to say that if anyone tells me "no contact isn't about getting your ex back its for you recovering", save your energy. I know this and I understand it full well. It isn't relevant to the conversation.

    Anyway, I've already made two threads about my ex, first when I was in an early crisis after she dumped me and secondly after I was preparing to start the no contact rule, for those of you who don't know, NC is where you don't talk to your ex in any way shape or form that is avoidable for about 30 days.

    I'm on day three, and I want to hear from people, mainly guys dumped by girls, who've tried this sort of thing (purposefully or by instinct), and I want to know if you ever got back together with your ex or turned down a chance to. Equally, I'd like to hear from anyone who tried it and failed. Nice to sort my expectations out 😊
    She's your ex for a reason mate - she ain't gonna come back.

    Admittedly my only real ex died just after we split up so....

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Andy98)
    She's your ex for a reason mate - she ain't gonna come back.

    Admittedly my only real ex died just after we split up so....

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'm very sorry to hear that, I hope you're not feeling too bad.
 
 
 
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