Would you date a bisexual person? If not, why?

Announcements
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    **** no
    female dominance is a huge turn off sorry
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AlexFam)
    **** no
    female dominance is a huge turn off sorry
    Why would dominance be related to sexuality?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Clez)
    Why would dominance be related to sexuality?
    idk I think my line of thinking was that if a woman was bisexual, she's more likely to be the dominant element in a female relationship.

    I don't stand by this.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Clez)
    - Which of the above options should I choose when dating?
    That depends. I am a bisexual girl, and when meeting other women at LGBTQ events my orientation/label usually was one of our first conversation topics. However, when meeting a guy in a cafe etc. I normally waited for a couple of dates until the topic ex-partners came up. Except for one very specific case my (male) dating partners never had a problem with it. On the contrary... Why don't you just mention it once the topic ex-partners arises?

    (Original post by Clez)
    - Would you yourself date a bisexual person/man/woman if he/she was your perfect person until this detail was revealed?
    Of course I would! Everyone has a past, and to me it doesn't matter whether this includes exboyfriends or exgirlfriends. Just because someone is biseual doesn't mean they are cheaters or not loveable. I really hate this kind of prejudice.

    (Original post by Clez)
    - What would your reaction be if this was revealed some way into a relationship?
    I really couldn't care less. I'd just hug her/him, kiss her/him and tell her/him that she/he is perfect the way she/he is. I am still dating the same person as before, it's not like anything has changed!


    Oh, and as an example how NOT to treat a bisexual girlfriend: my latest expartner.

    When I told him I was bi he told me that it "was ok", his last girlfriend was bi, too. But he also told me NEVER to talk to his parents about this, as they would kick me out instantly. They wouldn't accept a bisexual woman as the partner of their only son.
    Each Sunday we would sit down for about 30 minutes and just discuss what was going on in our lives, whether there was anything making us feel upset/happy/... and so on. At several points he told me that he was terrified of me simply sleeping with other women. I never gave him any reason to think that I would do this. Monogamy is really important to me, and cheating is a deal breaker - no ecxeptions.
    Once, during sex, he would say something along the lines of "Well, breasts are working for you, too, right?" - with lots of disgust in his voice.
    He eventually kicked me out (right in the middle of my final exams) because I had cancer as a teenager. And what did he say to me? Even if I were pissed at men now, there'd still be lots of bi and homosexual women to sleep with! He dumped my stuff in trash bags at my college, and I've never heard from him again.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    100% not.

    - Which of the above options should I choose when dating?. Lets say you sit down to talk to somone you like, your first thing should not be HI I am bisexual. but just tell them somewhere through a conversation but do it soon.
    - Would you yourself date a bisexual person/man/woman if he/she was your perfect person until this detail was revealed? No.
    - If not, why not, and what has led you to believe that? I would not want my wife to be bisexual as I do not fully agree with it. (Although I have no problem with people being bi)
    - What would your reaction be if this was revealed some way into a relationship? Get angry tell her next time to tell before something gets serious. Leave the relationship
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AlexFam)
    idk I think my line of thinking was that if a woman was bisexual, she's more likely to be the dominant element in a female relationship.
    Why does there have to be a dominant partner?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I don't see why not, I mean if I like a guy who is bi and he likes me and i'd want to get romantically involved then I wouldn't see a problem with his sexuality. But still, I can't say much since I'm only 15 and never dated anyone before
    As for your options, I'd choose B if I were you, I mean, it's better to tell them the truth at first and see if they accept you for who you are because if they don't, they wouldn't be as worth it I guess. As for option C, I think it could be a bad idea, I mean imagine being in a relationship with someone for a few months and finding out that your partner hasn't been honest with you. Also imagine that that someone breaks up with you for being bi meaning that you kind of wasted a few months on someone who doesn't deserve you.
    Yet I'm not exactly sure about my advice because maybe these things don't depend on wether a person deserves you or not but on their tastes or maybe even trust issues.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AlexFam)
    idk I think my line of thinking was that if a woman was bisexual, she's more likely to be the dominant element in a female relationship.

    I don't stand by this.
    Relationships and sexual preferences are all different - some people are dominant and some are not - some men, some women, hetero, bi, homo etc
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AperfectBalance)
    100% not.

    - If not, why not, and what has led you to believe that? I would not want my wife to be bisexual as I do not fully agree with it. (Although I have no problem with people being bi)
    - What would your reaction be if this was revealed some way into a relationship? Get angry tell her next time to tell before something gets serious. Leave the relationship
    So you have no problem with people bi, but you would not want your wife to be? So then you do have a problem with people being bi.

    What do you not fully agree with? A person exists or they do not, its nothing to do with your opinion.

    What would you be afraid of happening if you had a bi wife or girlfriend? Do you know what it means?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I'm gay and would under certain conditions, I think bisexual guys swing one side to another due to social pressure. I think someone who I was with swinged on to girl side.
    #2

    Yeah I'm a girl and I wouldn't mind. As long as he didn't cheat on me and could be with JUST me. Also he would have to still prefer girls more (like as a spectrum was more straight than bi). Also mmf threesome would be hot so I don't really care.
    #2

    (Original post by AlexFam)
    idk I think my line of thinking was that if a woman was bisexual, she's more likely to be the dominant element in a female relationship.

    I don't stand by this.
    lol how do you know? She might like butch girls and want to be submissive?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I always think it's a bit forced really putting everything on the table as soon as you even think about dating, in case it comes up later and is a deal breaker. There are so many other things, like: "You need to know I'm a vegetarian, I snore, I used to take drugs, I'm a committed Christian, I'm into Man United and Morris dancing, I put the salt on before the pepper, my belly button sticks out..." woah. Let's just get to know each other and take the risk that this might not work out, you know?

    (But yeah, the bi=promiscuous thing really gets my goat as well. I knew someone who tried to cop off with her ex-girlfriend/my girlfriend even though by that point she was in a relationship with a man, and just shrugged and said "what do you expect? I'm bi!" grrr...)
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Yes I would.

    I'm bi myself and as another user said, it's so irritating when people think bi people will cheat or jump from one person to the next. Like if I love someone enough I wouldn't ever consider leaving them. If bi people cheat, it's to do with their attitude, not their sexuality.

    It's weird because I generally swing towards men way more.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I would... after my previous relationship I've learnt to trust my partner a lot more than I should. Without writing my entire experience I can say I've learnt a lot.

    And the fact someone is bisexual isn't what would have worried me before my last relationship. It would just be the fact that I'd be so damn paranoid over you liking every single one of your friends lol. But that level of paranoia might only be specific to people with low self esteem. If you (if you were a girl) randomly brought it up to me I'd actually find that real cool. I'd question you about a bunch of things though because I'm fascinated in how others perceive things xD

    I wouldn't see you any different because you've kissed or banged the same gender. But at the same time nothing really "grosses" me out soooo... I guess I can tell you there's probably people like me out there like you if that helps?
    I think people are too quick to discriminate against sexuality... I simply see it as you're attracted to double the amount of humans that I do. Nothing special. The whole bisexual is nasty thing is probably something put into people's mind due to media or parenting. Load of crap.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Joseph72602)
    I would... after my previous relationship I've learnt to trust my partner a lot more than I should. Without writing my entire experience I can say I've learnt a lot.

    And the fact someone is bisexual isn't what would have worried me before my last relationship. It would just be the fact that I'd be so damn paranoid over you liking every single one of your friends lol. But that level of paranoia might only be specific to people with low self esteem. If you (if you were a girl) randomly brought it up to me I'd actually find that real cool. I'd question you about a bunch of things though because I'm fascinated in how others perceive things xD

    I wouldn't see you any different because you've kissed or banged the same gender. But at the same time nothing really "grosses" me out soooo... I guess I can tell you there's probably people like me out there like you if that helps?
    I think people are too quick to discriminate against sexuality... I simply see it as you're attracted to double the amount of humans that I do. Nothing special. The whole bisexual is nasty thing is probably something put into people's mind due to media or parenting. Load of crap.
    I have to say that I absolutely love your attitude!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Clez)
    So you have no problem with people bi, but you would not want your wife to be? So then you do have a problem with people being bi.

    What do you not fully agree with? A person exists or they do not, its nothing to do with your opinion.

    What would you be afraid of happening if you had a bi wife or girlfriend? Do you know what it means?
    People can be bi I am not going to stop them but also I do not have to want to be partners with them.

    I dont agree with people that have steak well done or medium but I am not going to stop them.

    The whole argument is flawed. I have no problem with people being gay, but that does not mean I would marry a gay person does it?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AlexFam)
    I would but I'm a deviant.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/IxJMT1ugyBMdy/giphy.gif
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by naddie)
    That depends. I am a bisexual girl, and when meeting other women at LGBTQ events my orientation/label usually was one of our first conversation topics. However, when meeting a guy in a cafe etc. I normally waited for a couple of dates until the topic ex-partners came up. Except for one very specific case my (male) dating partners never had a problem with it. On the contrary... Why don't you just mention it once the topic ex-partners arises?



    Of course I would! Everyone has a past, and to me it doesn't matter whether this includes exboyfriends or exgirlfriends. Just because someone is biseual doesn't mean they are cheaters or not loveable. I really hate this kind of prejudice.



    I really couldn't care less. I'd just hug her/him, kiss her/him and tell her/him that she/he is perfect the way she/he is. I am still dating the same person as before, it's not like anything has changed!


    Oh, and as an example how NOT to treat a bisexual girlfriend: my latest expartner.

    When I told him I was bi he told me that it "was ok", his last girlfriend was bi, too. But he also told me NEVER to talk to his parents about this, as they would kick me out instantly. They wouldn't accept a bisexual woman as the partner of their only son.
    Each Sunday we would sit down for about 30 minutes and just discuss what was going on in our lives, whether there was anything making us feel upset/happy/... and so on. At several points he told me that he was terrified of me simply sleeping with other women. I never gave him any reason to think that I would do this. Monogamy is really important to me, and cheating is a deal breaker - no ecxeptions.
    Once, during sex, he would say something along the lines of "Well, breasts are working for you, too, right?" - with lots of disgust in his voice.
    He eventually kicked me out (right in the middle of my final exams) because I had cancer as a teenager. And what did he say to me? Even if I were pissed at men now, there'd still be lots of bi and homosexual women to sleep with! He dumped my stuff in trash bags at my college, and I've never heard from him again.
    Hi, Thanks for taking the time to reply to all of my OP questions in detail! It's a shame that not many people have and have obviously read through the thread only to just put "no". I do appreciate it.

    As I said in my OP I've only had 2 proper relationships, and never been on a date which didn't turn into a relationship - the first was a mess, came about messily and ended similarly and previous people wasn't discussed at all. The second was just "how many people have you slept with?" so I just gave a number rather than specifics. As well as the lack of people I've dated, I was outed uncomfortably and distressingly when I was about 17 (which took 8 years to recover from) and so for years I didn't talk about it with anyone up until the last couple. I've had positive reactions from friends, but I didn't know how most girls would react from a dating perspective. Previously I was made to feel that I was disgusting and so I've not mentioned it unless it has been uncovered because of a fear of meeting someone I really like (very rare) or am comfortable enough to be with (childhood abuse) and then losing them because of it.

    That guy sounds like a terrible person, I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ckfeister)
    I'm gay and would under certain conditions, I think bisexual guys swing one side to another due to social pressure. I think someone who I was with swinged on to girl side.
    I'm sure bisexual guys go for whoever they find the most attractive and depending on their relationship status.

    I hate the term of phrase "swing one side to another" as if all bisexual people are somehow balanced precariously on a pivot where they could unexpectedly fall one way or the other irrespective of their current partner or any other factors. Crap.
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: October 4, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Would you prefer to be told about sex by your:

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.