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Planning University... Watch


    You need to find a university that suits you and that you feel comfortable in - so does your boyfriend. This means that you'll probably be at different unis, but there are many that are close to each other, so maybe this is something to look into? (For example, Uni of Bath and Bath Spa, Uni of Manchester, Machester met)
    I'm currently second year and I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and he's only just started uni. Long distance does work as long as you're both totally honest with each other about your feelings. Some people can't hack it, but if you feel like you're both committed to each other it can work. Obviously, it gets hard sometimes, but you just have to work through it together.
    If you do end up at the same uni, do not move in together. Firstly, you need your own space and 'me' time, it'll help ground you. Secondly, as you have stated, you may break up and living together will be awkward for you and the other people you live with. Some of my friends that live with each other broke up, they are still civil with each other, but it's still awkward at times for everyone else that lives in the house. Thirdly, you need to make your own friends - if you're constantly with your boyfriend, it'll be hard to find your own feet with the people that live with you.
    I hope this is helpful, good luck!
    • #1

    (Original post by elllietate)
    My boyfriend and I are both planning to start University in September 2017. We want to do completely different courses, Psychology for me and Music Production/Sound Engineering for him. As you can imagine, these two subjects don't cross over much and so not a huge amount of Universities actually offer both of these courses and the ones that do seem to, more often than not, have the lectures etc in different buildings/campuses often fairly far apart.

    Despite this, we are trying to find a University we can both attend and share accommodation somewhere between both our lecture buildings, or something like that. However it is making an already difficult task (choosing a University) significantly more challenging. Not only this, but is going to University/sharing accommodation with your partner even a good idea?

    We have been together 8 months and I have been in long term relationships before ours but none have felt this serious or real, he is very much my "first love" or whatever. We spend 3-6 days a week together and usually at least 3-4 nights together each week so we are accustomed to being in each other's presence a lot, so moving in together wouldn't be a huge leap.

    My main concerns are:
    What if we break up after we have decided to live together and attend the same University and then we are stuck/have to change last minute?
    What if we break up half way through the year and have to live together as exes?
    Is it realistic to think that a relationship of only 8 months will last until September next year, let alone through University?
    - Is it better to accept that we will break apart due to University and focus on which place is right for us as individuals purely down to personal preference, not taking into consideration it's location in relation to the other person?

    (We already agreed we couldn't do long distance as he's been cheated on in the past and although he trusts me he says the paranoia would put an unhealthy strain on the relationship and if it got to that point he'd rather we left on a positive note than get to the point where he felt like a controlling maniac and I hated him)

    Sorry for the super long post. Does anyone have experience with this or opinions? Good idea? Bad Idea? Pros/cons? Things I'm being oblivious/naive to? I'm just a bit stuck with what to do, any input is welcome. Thanks!!
    This time last year, I was in the same position as you, although id been with my boyfriend for 10 months. For both of us, it was our first, serious relationship.
    We looked at unis together, and found ones we both like. Fast forward a year and we now live and study together.

    I think it depends on the student experience you want. I have several friends at uni and some have loved halls, but I also know people who have hated every minute. They would rather stay in than go clubbing and for some reason that isn't a good thing at uni.
    I love my boyfriend and I hated freshers week. Having someone to come home to, to comfort me everytime I became overwhelmed made all the difference. If I'd broken up with him and stayed in halls as so many people do, I doubt I would've made it to my second week.
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Updated: October 8, 2016
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