I've lost my self, I feel like i made a big mistake

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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    When you don't know a thing or two about Islam its advisable to stay quiet
    Ironic coming from the girl who was saying on some other threads that Muslim girls who chose not to wear the hijab were promiscuous.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    little background info; i'm 18, female, moved out of a very conservative Muslim household to study in a different city, getting a lot of **** for it too but that's not the point

    the point is I went out with my housemates last night to celebrate an occasion. we went to a club. i wanted to go because every time they told me to go, (they weren't pressuring or anything) i would say no even though i really wanted to. i was scared. of my parents, of them finding out. i also felt out of place, since I wear a head covering.

    after many problems caused because of speculation that i was going to go out or take my scarf off, i was like you know what - since im getting **** for it already I might as well do it. And i did. I took the scarf off because 1) i dont believe in it, 2) if i WAS wearing the scarf i would a) present islam in a negative light and b) not enjoy my self and feel paranoid and feel out of place and everyone would stare at me

    but the whole bus journey there, i felt so weird. it didn't feel like i'd done anything drastic. but i kept mentally beating my self up about it. i kept calling my self names and cheap and weak because i 'gave in' - it hurts even though i know i wanted this. I guess i feel bad because i let down my parents. i enjoyed the night though. but coming back, letting it all sink in, it didn't feel real. in fact, if it wasn't for my aching joints i would've thought it was all a dream.

    i've been in bed all day. i didnt go to lectures. i feel like ****. i did not drink, or have sex, or even talk to boys, technically i did nothing to be 'ashamed' of, but i still feel horrible. i've just been crying and crying. i only left the room to go toilet. i still haven't eaten since last night really.

    i also have another problem. i took it off, and obviously a lot of uni students were there. some of whom are friends or acquaintances. i felt like it was a one time thing, i'd put it back on. but how can i? wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? of course, there's also the point that if i DO fully take it off, my parents WILL find out - i've seen a few former friends back from my high school, who know people who know people who will get it to them.

    I'm just scared, and i feel stupid and i hate myself right now. i just want to end it all but that would do no good to anyone . i dont know what to do or how to feel.

    can anyone give me some advice? or atleast calm me down? please?

    Wow. The things islam does to people......
    Here's my advice - forget about it and enjoy life.
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    (Original post by RobML)
    What have I said that's wrong?
    She feels guilt for a reason... you're contradicting by saying she is free to do what she wants. Now if you were intelligent enough you would be able to differentiate between the 'gulit' she is actually feeling
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    (Original post by balanced)
    A scarf isn't a shield, and here in the uk we don't force people to wear this or that, or not to, so there is nothing wrong with choosing what to do.
    Yes i know we have a free will in the UK, i was pointing out what the Islamic law says. Now if a believer wants to follow what Allah (swt) has commanded him to do then that is totally up to him if he wants to do it or not. It'll only be between him and his Lord.
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    She feels guilt for a reason... you're contradicting by saying she is free to do what she wants. Now if you were intelligent enough you would be able to differentiate between the 'gulit' she is actually feeling
    Uh, what I'm saying is that guilt only exists because of judgemental people like you. She doesn't need to feel that way from what she's done.
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    People calling clubs the trap of the devil, lmao are you people seriously listening to yourself?
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    (Original post by RobML)
    How about Islam tought men not to be predatory perverts instead of forcing women to repress themselves?
    Yes Islam has taught men, Islam teaches men to lower their gaze. Islam teaches man and woman, believers and non-believers.
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    (Original post by RobML)
    Uh, what I'm saying is that guilt only exists because of judgemental people like you. She doesn't need to feel that way from what she's done.
    Im not in anyway being judgmental please forgive me if I have portrayed it like that what I am trying to get across is this 'guilt' she felt after she took her headscarf off.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    little background info; i'm 18, female, moved out of a very conservative Muslim household to study in a different city, getting a lot of **** for it too but that's not the pointthe point is I went out with my housemates last night to celebrate an occasion. we went to a club. i wanted to go because every time they told me to go, (they weren't pressuring or anything) i would say no even though i really wanted to. i was scared. of my parents, of them finding out. i also felt out of place, since I wear a head covering.after many problems caused because of speculation that i was going to go out or take my scarf off, i was like you know what - since im getting **** for it already I might as well do it. And i did. I took the scarf off because 1) i dont believe in it, 2) if i WAS wearing the scarf i would a) present islam in a negative light and b) not enjoy my self and feel paranoid and feel out of place and everyone would stare at mebut the whole bus journey there, i felt so weird. it didn't feel like i'd done anything drastic. but i kept mentally beating my self up about it. i kept calling my self names and cheap and weak because i 'gave in' - it hurts even though i know i wanted this. I guess i feel bad because i let down my parents. i enjoyed the night though. but coming back, letting it all sink in, it didn't feel real. in fact, if it wasn't for my aching joints i would've thought it was all a dream. i've been in bed all day. i didnt go to lectures. i feel like ****. i did not drink, or have sex, or even talk to boys, technically i did nothing to be 'ashamed' of, but i still feel horrible. i've just been crying and crying. i only left the room to go toilet. i still haven't eaten since last night really.i also have another problem. i took it off, and obviously a lot of uni students were there. some of whom are friends or acquaintances. i felt like it was a one time thing, i'd put it back on. but how can i? wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? of course, there's also the point that if i DO fully take it off, my parents WILL find out - i've seen a few former friends back from my high school, who know people who know people who will get it to them. I'm just scared, and i feel stupid and i hate myself right now. i just want to end it all but that would do no good to anyone . i dont know what to do or how to feel.can anyone give me some advice? or atleast calm me down? please?
    I feel like I've read this story like a 100 times before on TSR
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    Yes Islam has taught men, Islam teaches men to lower their gaze
    Then why is a hijab necessary?
    Why not just teach women to also lower their gaze?
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    Yes Islam has taught men, Islam teaches men to lower their gaze. Islam teaches man and woman, believers and non-believers.
    Then why don't men wear the hijab or are made to cover up?
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Im not in anyway being judgmental please forgive me if I have portrayed it like that what I am trying to get across is this 'guilt' she felt after she took her headscarf off.
    And that's because she's shamed for it as shown in this thread
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    Yes Islam has taught men, Islam teaches men to lower their gaze. Islam teaches man and woman, believers and non-believers.
    Christianity tells the people not to fornicate yet people go out of their way to do it. Same way with the men in Islam. Some men just cant help and keep their damn gazes down. However it then becomes the women's responsibility that she ensures that she dosent attract any men attention via makeup etc.
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    [QUOTE=RobML;68020124]And that's because she's shamed for it as shown in this thread[/QUOTE

    Yes shes shamed because she has never done it before and thereby the first step of her sinning publicly is that guilt she feels.
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    Yes shes shamed because she has never done it before and thereby the first step of her sinning publicly is that guilt she feels.
    You saying the shaming is good?
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Really? So are you indicating that girls who don't wear the hijab are open to being used and abused by men?

    And no she shouldn't wear the hijab if she doesn't want to. She can easily survive without it and if she gets hit on by men she has a voice to defend herself and say no. We have something known as "choice" in the modern world hun.
    I'm not exactly indicating that..
    Allah (swt) has commanded women to wear the hijab for a reason, to be protected.
    & erm im not forcing her, i was giving her Islamic advice, then whatever she does is only between her and her Lord. Also i know about this "choice" in the modern world...this "choice" is misleading the Muslim society.
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    (Original post by senoritatimaa)
    I'm not exactly indicating that..
    Allah (swt) has commanded women to wear the hijab for a reason, to be protected.
    & erm im not forcing her, i was giving her Islamic advice, then whatever she does is only between her and her Lord. Also i know about this "choice" in the modern world...this "choice" is misleading the Muslim society.
    Shaming someone is a very manipulative way to force them to do something, you know
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    You will burn in hell for this
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    (Original post by RobML)
    You saying the shaming is good?
    i'm not implying any of the sort.
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    (Original post by RobML)
    If she doesn't believe in wearing a headscarf then she should be totally free not to. Unless you're suggesting that there is *shock*...shame forced upon muslim women who don't wear it? But yeah it's always a decision based on free will ofc
    She's done nothing wrong, get a grip.
    Of course it is up to her but I am just saying according to Islam as she is a Muslim. I want good for her not bad dw.
 
 
 
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