Losing my faith

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    Hi, You need to let your emaan remain strong. Probably right now your emaan is really weak, so you feel like you are far off from the religion, but don't overthink it. Take everything step by step and inshallah your emaan will be stronger. Do you pray namaz? If not, just start praying, not even all 5, but even if you can start doing 1 prayer, trust me it would help you a lot and Allah will make it easier for you. Inshaallah, you will be guided to the right path. Or even if you just do dua! Remember that Allah is there, and he listens to our duas. Even those that remain in your heart.
    I totally understand how you are feeling. I know people who have been in a similar situation as you have, and they now have a really strong emaan and really regret when they look back at their past. PLEASE(!!) DM me if you want to ask me anything, as I feel that I can help you and give you non-judgemental advice - which is all you need.
    No matter what you do, don't forget that there's Allah to help us, and inshaallah he will make everything easier for us and guide us onto the straight path. Ameen.
    Sister, I really hope I helped. I have been a bit brief on here, but if you DM me I can give you a lot more support and you can open up to me a bit more about how you feel, and we can discuss what you can do about it.
    Asalamulaykum. xx
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    (Original post by Applepiex3)
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    I know this Muslim guy who gave up on religion and stuff and started sleeping around with random girls. He ended up getting one pregnant and didn't tell his family about it.

    They were strict parents but they trusted the guy and let him out and even bought him an apartment to live alone and stuff. They eventually found out through other people and were very disappointed.

    He betrayed their trust so they pretty much disowned him and told him to do whatever he wants and now he gets no help or support. He pretty much screwed up. While other people think "that's fine, he got freedom" and what not. What's the point if you hurt your parents to the point they don't even want to see your face? He was from an Asian background so it was worse because he had to tolerate relative nonsense too.

    Your parents aren't going to cage you and force you to get married (esp this young). Try talking to them so that they know. Just remember, family are the only ones you can turn to (unless if you weren't blessed with good parents).
    They grow up with their moralities strongly attuned to something that later becomes invalidated to them.
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    In other words...
    Instead of being taught common sense and critical thinking, they are taught to follow blindly and have faith. If and when they rebel against this, they lose the only sense of morality that was instilled within them as children.

    That being said many secular people act this way too, due to how they were raised.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents are overprotective my mothrr isn't willing to send me to a uni out of the city
    Your mother doesn't have to know where you apply. You could always put down 2 unis away from your city and firm/insure those ones and move out. If your parents try doing anything to you you could always contact the authorities or something.

    And if your estrange yourself, I know unis offer more support so you could get through uni on loans depending on where you choose to go.
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    When you start studying science, philosophy and history you begin to question the credibility of religions considering that they were all used to gain Power and what better way to do that than convince people there's a higher power they can't avoid? I do believe in god but it makes you wonder just how good some of the ancient psychologists were.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents are overprotective my mothrr isn't willing to send me to a uni out of the city
    The only control she really has at the moment, is in guilt-tripping and shaming you. Then there is also the aspect of an ultimatum, 'if you do this we're going to distance ourselves from you'.
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    Because of their strict, stubborn mentality, you have two choices. Continue to be an extension of your parents will, and then eventually whoever they decide to be your sexual partner.
    Spoiler:
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    (You may be given more choice about this than I give credit for, or you may be pressured into something you don't really want)

    Or be your own person, choose what defines you and your morality and try make the best of whatever retaliation they choose to throw at you. Don't forget, despite how bleak the world can seem, there are people out there who will support and help you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to start any arguments so please bear that in mind

    I am a muslim, i have been brought up as one and i do love my religion. However i have been realising all these restrictions placed upon me such as who and who i can't marry, the way i should act or dress, misogyny and all sorts of stuff. I do agree in the teachings and it being a way of life but i just don't know if the belief and acceptance in some aspects is going to keep me grounded to the religion.

    I feel like in the near future i'm gonna make decisions that aren't acceptable in my religion and i am gonna disown my family...

    Help?
    You shouldn't give up your religion because of misogyny within it.Thats a terrible reason.You should give it up because you have looked at the evidence and concluded its unlikely to be the truth.Have you ever considered that religion is just telling you what you want to hear? All these priests and alleged holy men all claim to know what happens after death.How do they know?Have they ever died? Have you not wondered why your religion is the correct one? There have been thousands of religions what makes you so certain yours is the right one? Nobody believes in zeus anymore but the ancient greeks did.They were not just faking it.They believed in zeus just as much as muslims believe in Allah.Why were they wrong but muslims right? The truth is that god doesn't exist and never has done.Neither does heaven or hell.It was made up to comfort people when loved ones died.It would have been insensitive to the grieving relatives to question it.So nobody did question it.And here we are thousands of years later still clinging on to ancient myths.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to start any arguments so please bear that in mind

    I am a muslim, i have been brought up as one and i do love my religion. However i have been realising all these restrictions placed upon me such as who and who i can't marry, the way i should act or dress, misogyny and all sorts of stuff. I do agree in the teachings and it being a way of life but i just don't know if the belief and acceptance in some aspects is going to keep me grounded to the religion.

    I feel like in the near future i'm gonna make decisions that aren't acceptable in my religion and i am gonna disown my family...

    Help?
    Salaam

    It is great to know you love Islam (SubhanAllah). Remember this sis(?), Islam is perfect, but Muslims are not. You said you agree with the teachings, but fear sticking to it. I think this is natural because no Muslim fully trusts themselves to be stable and maintain their faith throughout their life. It is fine, because no Muslim is perfect,you're not alone. However, if the person regrets and feels guilty no matter how late it is during this life then not all is lost. Allah swt doors of forgivness are always open and He is the most merciful. Of course before doing anything that is guided for us to avoid, we should prevent ourself from reaching that point and not desire for it. We should be careful amd not rush or jump to conclusions in Islam that we may regret later on in life. It is very easy to fall astray, one impermissible act in Islam can lead to several others before you know it. Often making it hard for one to return back to the path our creator has guided us to take.

    Most Muslims in their lifetime will most likely have doubts about some part of the religion because they just don't seem to see its importance and the crucial reasonings behind it. Some don't come to an conclusion fortunately and make the effort to take out time to seek knowledge and clear the doubts etc concerning them. This is the best way before reaching a conclusion to say I can't do this or how is this acceptable? If the doubts or issues regarding the religion clears hopefully then most of the time those Muslims feel more satisfied and actually motivated to practice the religion better. They know what they are doing and achieve a purpose as everything within the religion is more clear to them. Islam is just because it is from Allah swt and he knows what is better for us in this world and what not. Hence every guide in Islam is for our own good with adequate beneficial reasonings for us to aknowledge. No doubt, the outcome if followed correctly is always appreciable with patience. Therefore, never think that you are not good enough for Islam or won't be able to follow it just because of some concerns. Islam is simple and for all, as long as you believe in the shahadah and ask sincerely for guidance, Allah swt will surely not leave you alone.

    On the other hand, some Muslims unfortunately will not put in the effort to try talk about their doubts and concerns sincerely. They will just keep it to themselves or seek no help. This is where the problem starts. As a result, they may leave Islam or the deny the practice/teachings without observing patience, just for one or two concerns, to fully look into it first.

    You are concerned about your future (which you don't even know yet will happen), so why not start from today and ask Allah swt to make it easy for you and help you take the right path. Keep praying to him and maybe you will find yourself thinking it is worthless to even try something that is not recommended by our creator for us.

    May Allah swt guide you, keep you on the right and give you what is best. Ameen.

    You can pm if you want sis anytime x
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    (Original post by Robby2312)
    You shouldn't give up your religion because of misogyny within it.Thats a terrible reason.You should give it up because you have looked at the evidence and concluded its unlikely to be the truth.Have you ever considered that religion is just telling you what you want to hear? All these priests and alleged holy men all claim to know what happens after death.How do they know?Have they ever died? Have you not wondered why your religion is the correct one? There have been thousands of religions what makes you so certain yours is the right one? Nobody believes in zeus anymore but the ancient greeks did.They were not just faking it.They believed in zeus just as much as muslims believe in Allah.Why were they wrong but muslims right? The truth is that god doesn't exist and never has done.Neither does heaven or hell.It was made up to comfort people when loved ones died.It would have been insensitive to the grieving relatives to question it.So nobody did question it.And here we are thousands of years later still clinging on to ancient myths.
    'God told me so'
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    (Original post by Applepiex3)
    They are not likely to disown you completely, probably forget about it a little after a while. OP just needs to talk to a relative he can trust or his parents. He's not done anything bad apart from admit how he feels.
    Some families would essentially pull their kid from their education and future because they don't practise the religion they were forced into in a certain way. It's those families that I mean can fk off.
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    (Original post by Mactotaur)
    If [x religion] is perfect, why do [x religion Western followers] not follow it to the letter?
    Cognitive dissonance.
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    do what most muslims are doing and be the type of person you want to be in private

    plenty of girls i went to school and college with wore the hijab at home and played the part of respectful, subservient muslim child but away from fam it was a very, very different story!
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by h333)
    Salaam

    It is great to know you love Islam (SubhanAllah). Remember this sis(?), Islam is perfect, but Muslims are not. You said you agree with the teachings, but fear sticking to it. I think this is natural because no Muslim fully trusts themselves to be stable and maintain their faith throughout their life. It is fine, because no Muslim is perfect,you're not alone. However, if the person regrets and feels guilty no matter how late it is during this life then not all is lost. Allah swt doors of forgivness are always open and He is the most merciful. Of course before doing anything that is guided for us to avoid, we should prevent ourself from reaching that point and not desire for it. We should be careful amd not rush or jump to conclusions in Islam that we may regret later on in life. It is very easy to fall astray, one impermissible act in Islam can lead to several others before you know it. Often making it hard for one to return back to the path our creator has guided us to take.

    Most Muslims in their lifetime will most likely have doubts about some part of the religion because they just don't seem to see its importance and the crucial reasonings behind it. Some don't come to an conclusion fortunately and make the effort to take out time to seek knowledge and clear the doubts etc concerning them. This is the best way before reaching a conclusion to say I can't do this or how is this acceptable? If the doubts or issues regarding the religion clears hopefully then most of the time those Muslims feel more satisfied and actually motivated to practice the religion better. They know what they are doing and achieve a purpose as everything within the religion is more clear to them. Islam is just because it is from Allah swt and he knows what is better for us in this world and what not. Hence every guide in Islam is for our own good with adequate beneficial reasonings for us to aknowledge. No doubt, the outcome if followed correctly is always appreciable with patience. Therefore, never think that you are not good enough for Islam or won't be able to follow it just because of some concerns. Islam is simple and for all, as long as you believe in the shahadah and ask sincerely for guidance, Allah swt will surely not leave you alone.

    On the other hand, some Muslims unfortunately will not put in the effort to try talk about their doubts and concerns sincerely. They will just keep it to themselves or seek no help. This is where the problem starts. As a result, they may leave Islam or the deny the practice/teachings without observing patience, just for one or two concerns, to fully look into it first.

    You are concerned about your future (which you don't even know yet will happen), so why not start from today and ask Allah swt to make it easy for you and help you take the right path. Keep praying to him and maybe you will find yourself thinking it is worthless to even try something that is not recommended by our creator for us.

    May Allah swt guide you, keep you on the right and give you what is best. Ameen.

    You can pm if you want sis anytime x
    Thank you so much for this, i have literally saved this on my phone just so i could constantly remind myself about it. hopefully inshallah i don't stray away.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    The only control she really has at the moment, is in guilt-tripping and shaming you. Then there is also the aspect of an ultimatum, 'if you do this we're going to distance ourselves from you'.
    Spoiler:
    Show

    Or be your own person, choose what defines you and your morality and try make the best of whatever retaliation they choose to throw at you. Don't forget, despite how bleak the world can seem, there are people out there who will support and help you.
    Its easier said than done and that scares me, id on't want to be disowned
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by doctor.M)
    Hi, You need to let your emaan remain strong. Probably right now your emaan is really weak, so you feel like you are far off from the religion, but don't overthink it. Take everything step by step and inshallah your emaan will be stronger. Do you pray namaz? If not, just start praying, not even all 5, but even if you can start doing 1 prayer, trust me it would help you a lot and Allah will make it easier for you. Inshaallah, you will be guided to the right path. Or even if you just do dua! Remember that Allah is there, and he listens to our duas. Even those that remain in your heart.
    I totally understand how you are feeling. I know people who have been in a similar situation as you have, and they now have a really strong emaan and really regret when they look back at their past. PLEASE(!!) DM me if you want to ask me anything, as I feel that I can help you and give you non-judgemental advice - which is all you need.
    No matter what you do, don't forget that there's Allah to help us, and inshaallah he will make everything easier for us and guide us onto the straight path. Ameen.
    Sister, I really hope I helped. I have been a bit brief on here, but if you DM me I can give you a lot more support and you can open up to me a bit more about how you feel, and we can discuss what you can do about it.
    Asalamulaykum. xx
    I do read my namaaz and i do read the quran, even though i would like to dm you , i'd rather not disclose my identity
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Your mother doesn't have to know where you apply. You could always put down 2 unis away from your city and firm/insure those ones and move out. If your parents try doing anything to you you could always contact the authorities or something.

    And if your estrange yourself, I know unis offer more support so you could get through uni on loans depending on where you choose to go.
    :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :/
    Obviously the estranged bit is if things go too far but you could apply for 2 away unis.
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    that's you in the corner
    that's you in the spotlight
    you're choosing your confessions
    every moment, of every waking hour
    you're losing your religion
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do read my namaaz and i do read the quran, even though i would like to dm you , i'd rather not disclose my identity
    salaam, you don't need to disclose your identity. we can resolve around your situation without me knowing who you are. please think over it. i can tell you a lot more stuff in DM than I can here - without others judging. xx
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    (Original post by h333)
    Salaam

    It is great to know you love Islam (SubhanAllah). Remember this sis(?), Islam is perfect, but Muslims are not. You said you agree with the teachings, but fear sticking to it. I think this is natural because no Muslim fully trusts themselves to be stable and maintain their faith throughout their life. It is fine, because no Muslim is perfect,you're not alone. However, if the person regrets and feels guilty no matter how late it is during this life then not all is lost. Allah swt doors of forgivness are always open and He is the most merciful. Of course before doing anything that is guided for us to avoid, we should prevent ourself from reaching that point and not desire for it. We should be careful amd not rush or jump to conclusions in Islam that we may regret later on in life. It is very easy to fall astray, one impermissible act in Islam can lead to several others before you know it. Often making it hard for one to return back to the path our creator has guided us to take.

    Most Muslims in their lifetime will most likely have doubts about some part of the religion because they just don't seem to see its importance and the crucial reasonings behind it. Some don't come to an conclusion fortunately and make the effort to take out time to seek knowledge and clear the doubts etc concerning them. This is the best way before reaching a conclusion to say I can't do this or how is this acceptable? If the doubts or issues regarding the religion clears hopefully then most of the time those Muslims feel more satisfied and actually motivated to practice the religion better. They know what they are doing and achieve a purpose as everything within the religion is more clear to them. Islam is just because it is from Allah swt and he knows what is better for us in this world and what not. Hence every guide in Islam is for our own good with adequate beneficial reasonings for us to aknowledge. No doubt, the outcome if followed correctly is always appreciable with patience. Therefore, never think that you are not good enough for Islam or won't be able to follow it just because of some concerns. Islam is simple and for all, as long as you believe in the shahadah and ask sincerely for guidance, Allah swt will surely not leave you alone.

    On the other hand, some Muslims unfortunately will not put in the effort to try talk about their doubts and concerns sincerely. They will just keep it to themselves or seek no help. This is where the problem starts. As a result, they may leave Islam or the deny the practice/teachings without observing patience, just for one or two concerns, to fully look into it first.

    You are concerned about your future (which you don't even know yet will happen), so why not start from today and ask Allah swt to make it easy for you and help you take the right path. Keep praying to him and maybe you will find yourself thinking it is worthless to even try something that is not recommended by our creator for us.

    May Allah swt guide you, keep you on the right and give you what is best. Ameen.

    You can pm if you want sis anytime x
    what a beautiful answer xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Its easier said than done and that scares me, id on't want to be disowned
    Option one then. I don't envy you.
 
 
 
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