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What's your lamest joke? watch

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    (Original post by markova21)
    I don't get it.
    'Gorilla' sounds like 'griller'
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    (Original post by Mimir)
    Why is Captain Birdseye greedy?
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    Because his business makes him sell fish...


    TANGENT ALERT - What extended crap jokes do people know? I managed to spin the one with the monastery out for an hour on a coach...
    Far from extended, this joke question is definitely a crap one.

    Why do they call them asteroids when they're in space but hemorrhoids when they're in you're arse?
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    What do we want?
    Low flying airplane noises!
    When do we want them?
    NNNNEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!

    ... I'll see myself out!
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    I purchased a book about anti-gravity.

    I can't put it down.
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    FDR's legs
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    What's you lamest clean joke? I'm expecting plenty of puns and dad jokes!

    I know so many :laugh:

    How do you organise a Space party?
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    You planet!

    How many ears does Spock have?
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    3! A left ear, a right ear, and a Final Frontier!

    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
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    Ten-tickles!

    :giggle:
    Why is it impossible to starve in a desert?... ...because of all the sand which is there. :beard:
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    (Original post by Conceited)
    Why is it impossible to starve in a desert?... ...because of all the sand which is there. :beard:
    Haaaa :laugh:
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    (Original post by FightToWin)
    'Gorilla' sounds like 'griller'
    Oh I see, thanks. LOL.
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    (Original post by SummerStrawberry)
    So there's this man - he's a faith healer. He went to Trafalgar Square in London and cried out through a megaphone "Gather round, gather round, all thee with problems! Let us all pray for you together, and by the power of God, you will be healed"!.

    A crowd amasses, interested in the man's claims, and he says to them, "I need someone for us to pray for". An elderly lady called Mrs. Smith comes forwards on crutches, and says, "Sir, I've been on this frame for 30 years. I would really like to be able to walk once again". The man assures her that the crowd's prayers most certainly can help, and instructs her to stand behind his curtain.

    The man asks for another volunteer, and a middle-aged man called Mr. Jones comes forwards, and says - with a pronounced lisp - "Sir, I've always talked like this for all of my life. I would love to speak normally!". Once again, the main assures him that the crowd's prayers most certainly will help, and instructs him to stand behind his curtain.

    The faith healer then calls upon the crown to pray together to grant Mrs. Smith her ability to walk, and Mr. Jones his ability to speak. They pray and they pray and they pray, until the man calls out to Mrs. Smith:

    "Throw one crutch over the screen!"

    A crutch comes flying over.

    "Throw the other crutch over the screen!"

    Another crutch comes flying over.

    "Mr. Jones - say something!"

    Silence.















    A nervous voice comes from behind the screen:

    "Errm... Mrs. Smith has just fallen over..."

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    This is my Grandad's favourite joke; even after telling it at every dinner party, he still can't help but laugh every time!


    I don't get it.
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    When someone asks what's up? Me: the ceiling /the sky
    That's really lame
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    Ok, everyone join hands and stand up to recite this one:

    "Why are pirates pirates?"

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    Because they arrrrrrrrrr


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    (Original post by markova21)
    I don't get it.
    Mrs. Smith was on crutches and couldn't walk without them. Mr. Jones had a bad lisp. The faith healer asks Mrs. Smith to get rid of her crutches to show that she can now walk, and they come flying over the screen. The faith healer then asks Mr. Jones to say something to prove that he now talks without a lisp, and he says "Mrs. Smith has just fallen over".

    Mrs. Smith tried to walk, but fell over - the faith healing had not worked. Mr. Jones, therefore, when expected to say something and show an amazing transformation in his voice, had no change. The punchline confirms in a sudden 'twist' that this was not the case, and the faith healing had not worked.
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    What do you call a pirate with 2 eyes, 2 hands & 2 legs.


    A beginner.
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    Helium walks into a bar.
    The bartender says: 'we don't serve your kind round here!'
    Helium has no reaction.
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    A gymnast walks into a bar
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    They lose 5 points :giggle:
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    My life.



    *crickets*
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    What's up
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    the sky
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    TheOtherSide. You seem to be really good at these. :rofl:
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    Why do scuba divers fall backwards from a boat?

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    Because he'd fall back into the boat otherwise
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    (Original post by FightToWin)
    Why isn't your nose 30cm long?

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    Because then it would be a foot.




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    ohhh, it has taken me 10 years to get that joke.
 
 
 
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