Being kicked out of home :( Watch

Emz99
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#41
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(Original post by castmesoftly)
I am a British citizen passport-holder, yep.

I'm not currently studying for anything as I had given up on any prospects of further education for myself. Frankly I'd given up on life too 😓 (called suicide hotline and such, barely pulled through).

I'm working for my uncle in his shop right now (my dad's idea), earliest start time is 9am, latest was just past 12am, so it's pretty exhausting. It leaves me with zero time for myself, so I have no time for my own pursuits either. I'm at work right now actually, typing this under the table

My dad told me no college would accept me (is this true?). I have one Mathematics AS due to my dad's stupid limitations on my life. I don't know how the whole eduation system works etc, been in Saudi most of the time.

I just wanna be happy, really. Apparently it's too much to ask 😅

Hugs returned sevenfold <3

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Usually im the person to say your parents aren't all that bad but this case to me seems difference. In all of this however you don't talk about your mother. Could you not possibly talk to her? How does your uncle treat you? All colleges would take you on to do A-Levels with those grades. It is usually sixth form which has higher entry requirements. If you need to talk pm me
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castmesoftly
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(Original post by WBZ144)
No! Don't listen to him for a second!

Most colleges would take you as long as you have GCSE, your father lied to you. The situation you described is actually very serious. Even though they are your family, you are being used as a slave. There is a helpline you could contact for this:
http://www.unseenuk.org/about/projec...esource-centre

The fact that you have been suicidal makes the situation even more dire. It might hurt a lot to leave your family and be thrust into a life that you're not used to but in the long run you will feel much better. You could contact your local council and explain your situation, see if they can give you emergency housing while you get on your feet.

Edit: by the way, my sister was living in Saudi and had to come back here unexpectedly in the middle of her GCSEs. She ended up with less GCSEs than the rest of us but still got into college and is at a good uni now.
Oh wow. That's flippin great news to me! I never questioned his call tbh, ever.

Is my situation really this serious? I think I lack perspective on this...(I had practically no exposure to the outside world while in Saudi, also no internet access.)

I'll email my local council if I can be brave enough to 😯

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Snufkin
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Why don't you just go to university? That is the easiest way to become independent because you can stay in student accommodation. You certainly don't need A levels, lots of universities offer degrees with foundation years (foundation years are a one-year pre-degree course for people without high school qualifications).
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castmesoftly
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(Original post by Emz99)
Usually im the person to say your parents aren't all that bad but this case to me seems difference. In all of this however you don't talk about your mother. Could you not possibly talk to her? How does your uncle treat you? All colleges would take you on to do A-Levels with those grades. It is usually sixth form which has higher entry requirements. If you need to talk pm me
Oh yes my dad really is this bad, and worse. The stories I could tell you about him would make you think I was lying 😖

My mum admits my dad is 'a bit extreme' but he 'has his reasons for everything he does' and 'everything he does, he does for you'. She stands on the sideline, which technically puts her on HIS side...

My uncle is okay, I guess, he doesn't know the entire situation, my dad obviously won't advertise my judgement of his (my dad's) ineptitudeness. I've told my uncle about a few of the things my dad has done, my uncle seemed so inhumanely insensitive about it (seriously, what's wrong with humanity nowadays?). He said he'd 'talk with my dad about it', but I know for a fact it won't help me in the least, if anything it'll make everything 100× worse.

So I CAN get into a college?

I'll definitely need help with my life now...

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Eunomia
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(Original post by castmesoftly)
Oh wow. That's flippin great news to me! I never questioned his call tbh, ever.

Is my situation really this serious? I think I lack perspective on this...(I had practically no exposure to the outside world while in Saudi, also no internet access.)

I'll email my local council if I can be brave enough to 😯

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Yes, absolutely. Making someone work for free because they feel that they have no way out is slavery and a serious crime in the UK. If you're uncomfortable with ringing the helpline then only do it as a last resort, but definitely seek help from your council. Don't worry; if they are able to get you somewhere to stay then your family can't stop you.

Alternatively, as Snufkin suggested, apply to universities that offer HND and Foundation degrees, they might take you on with the one AS-level. Apply in secret then if you get a place, apply for student finance. Then pack your bags next year and leave for uni. If you feel comfortable doing so, PM me the grade that you got for your AS-level and what sort of subject you would like to do. I will research which universities and courses would take you.
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castmesoftly
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(Original post by Snufkin)
Why don't you just go to university? That is the easiest way to become independent because you can stay in student accommodation. You certainly don't need A levels, lots of universities offer degrees with foundation years (foundation years are a one-year pre-degree course for people without high school qualifications).
Do you advise such action? I'm looking at all ways out of this lifepit I'm in.

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Trevish
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An unpaid job is not a job but slavery.Try getting a paid job even online if can or mall

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Emz99
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(Original post by castmesoftly)
Oh yes my dad really is this bad, and worse. The stories I could tell you about him would make you think I was lying 😖

My mum admits my dad is 'a bit extreme' but he 'has his reasons for everything he does' and 'everything he does, he does for you'. She stands on the sideline, which technically puts her on HIS side...

My uncle is okay, I guess, he doesn't know the entire situation, my dad obviously won't advertise my judgement of his (my dad's) ineptitudeness. I've told my uncle about a few of the things my dad has done, my uncle seemed so inhumanely insensitive about it (seriously, what's wrong with humanity nowadays?). He said he'd 'talk with my dad about it', but I know for a fact it won't help me in the least, if anything it'll make everything 100× worse.

So I CAN get into a college?

I'll definitely need help with my life now...

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Sure you can. I don't know like cutting ties with your family is also a bit extreme. It is hard because we don't everything but if you want you can tell us these experiences. You could even self-teach to be honest? Why is he so against you going to college? Have you ever tried telling him you can get in? Also you can get many suggestions here but think through things calmly. For example you could tell the council and go as far as tellin them they made you work for free. They would give you accodamation and maybe even give you compensation for your work. Do you really want to burn bridges with them though? It is always hard to advice in these situations but if they are constantly giving you crap sometimes enough is enough.

(Original post by Snufkin)
Why don't you just go to university? That is the easiest way to become independent because you can stay in student accommodation. You certainly don't need A levels, lots of universities offer degrees with foundation years (foundation years are a one-year pre-degree course for people without high school qualifications).
I don't recommend this. I doubt he'd get into any decent university with just GCSE's he'd be better off doing an apprenticeship for independence. I don't know how housing and stuff works but I don't think this is a good idea
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Snufkin
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(Original post by Emz99)
I don't recommend this. I doubt he'd get into any decent university with just GCSE's he'd be better off doing an apprenticeship for independence. I don't know how housing and stuff works but I don't think this is a good idea
Lots of decent universities offer foundation years (which do accept people with just GCSEs), Durham for example.
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Emz99
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(Original post by Snufkin)
Lots of decent universities offer foundation years (which do accept people with just GCSEs), Durham for example.
Thats one example and could you link me to entry requirements for a course there? I am not asking for proof well I kind of am but its because I currently have AS only doing A2 and would just like to see it and maybe apply for this as a back up. Is this through UCAS?

Generally clearing is if you don't have the right grades or certain subjects. Or is my statement wrong?
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Eunomia
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(Original post by Emz99)
I don't recommend this. I doubt he'd get into any decent university with just GCSE's he'd be better off doing an apprenticeship for independence. I don't know how housing and stuff works but I don't think this is a good idea
Even if he does a foundation year or an HND at a not-so-good university, he can transfer to a better one if he does well enough. The fact that he has extenuating circumstances will help his case.

From what I understand, most apprenticeships don't pay enough to live on.
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Snufkin
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(Original post by Emz99)
Thats one example and could you link me to entry requirements for a course there? I am not asking for proof well I kind of am but its because I currently have AS only doing A2 and would just like to see it and maybe apply for this as a back up. Is this through UCAS?

Generally clearing is if you don't have the right grades or certain subjects. Or is my statement wrong?
Yes it just one example, but there are other Russell Group universities which do foundation years as well - do a google search. Obviously each university will have different entry requirements, but I know that Durham's are particularly flexible. https://www.dur.ac.uk/courses/?q=fou...=Undergraduate

We welcome applications from:
  • UK and EU students
  • Mature learners (over 21) with no formal qualifications*
  • Mature learners (over 21) with A-levels (or equivalents) which were obtained over three years ago
  • Young learners (under 21) with adverse circumstances which could not be mitigated by their academic provider (evidence will be required)
  • Young learners (18 to 21) who have not engaged in post-16 education
  • Learners with strong A-level (or equivalent) results in subjects that are not suitable for their chosen degree subject (Conversion students)
  • EU learners who have not had the opportunity in their home country to study qualifications suitable for direct entry to their chosen degree course at Durham University
  • Native English speakers (from UKBA approved countries)
  • Non-native English speakers with suitable IELTS (or University recognised equivalent).
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Cherry82
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I am so sorry that this is happening to you and I'm glad you had found this website to find help. Yes, you can certainly go to college. You have more than enough GCSEs needed since the standard here is 5 GCSEs A*-C which you do already have. It would have been a lot more of a hassle if you didn't so I'm thanking God you do. To add to that, because you are 18 it will be free for you to attend college unless you begin college officially at 19, it's then fees come into the equation however even then it considered whether or not you work so please do not worry about that. What are you interested in studying at university? In all honesty, I think you should leave your uncle's job and find a proper, part-time job where you will be fairly paid but that will also give you time to study. I've never been in this situation before so I can't give a thorough answer however the responses here so far are phenomenal. I can assure you everything will be ok. I have you in my prayers <3
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castmesoftly
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#54
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(Original post by Emz99)
Sure you can. I don't know like cutting ties with your family is also a bit extreme. It is hard because we don't everything but if you want you can tell us these experiences. You could even self-teach to be honest? Why is he so against you going to college? Have you ever tried telling him you can get in? Also you can get many suggestions here but think through things calmly. For example you could tell the council and go as far as tellin them they made you work for free. They would give you accodamation and maybe even give you compensation for your work. Do you really want to burn bridges with them though? It is always hard to advice in these situations but if they are constantly giving you crap sometimes enough is enough.



I don't recommend this. I doubt he'd get into any decent university with just GCSE's he'd be better off doing an apprenticeship for independence. I don't know how housing and stuff works but I don't think this is a good idea
Of course, burning bridges will be a painful process, I don't want to, I may not have to entirely. I don't know yet...

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castmesoftly
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(Original post by Trevish)
An unpaid job is not a job but slavery.Try getting a paid job even online if can or mall

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I'm working through it step by step, gotta remove the negativity from my life before I can move on with careers and such

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castmesoftly
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(Original post by WBZ144)
Yes, absolutely. Making someone work for free because they feel that they have no way out is slavery and a serious crime in the UK. If you're uncomfortable with ringing the helpline then only do it as a last resort, but definitely seek help from your council. Don't worry; if they are able to get you somewhere to stay then your family can't stop you.

Alternatively, as Snufkin suggested, apply to universities that offer HND and Foundation degrees, they might take you on with the one AS-level. Apply in secret then if you get a place, apply for student finance. Then pack your bags next year and leave for uni. If you feel comfortable doing so, PM me the grade that you got for your AS-level and what sort of subject you would like to do. I will research which universities and courses would take you.
I guess contacting the local council is one mandatory step for me? I never considered myself to be a 'slave' of sorts, not ever 😕

Sure thing, I'll send you snaps of my document thingies when I get back from work. Nonono please don't, it's okay I'll take a stab at finding something myself 😅 I must pick myself up somehow...

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castmesoftly
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(Original post by Cherry82)
I am so sorry that this is happening to you and I'm glad you had found this website to find help. Yes, you can certainly go to college. You have more than enough GCSEs needed since the standard here is 5 GCSEs A*-C which you do already have. It would have been a lot more of a hassle if you didn't so I'm thanking God you do. To add to that, because you are 18 it will be free for you to attend college unless you begin college officially at 19, it's then fees come into the equation however even then it considered whether or not you work so please do not worry about that. What are you interested in studying at university? In all honesty, I think you should leave your uncle's job and find a proper, part-time job where you will be fairly paid but that will also give you time to study. I've never been in this situation before so I can't give a thorough answer however the responses here so far are phenomenal. I can assure you everything will be ok. I have you in my prayers <3
Thank you so much for your beautiful reply 😍🙌

Umm tbh I don't even know what I want to pursue in uni 😅, I need career and options advice.

Yes I probably will have to leave my uncle too

I'm real glad you've never experienced this, it isn't pretty :/ it's destructive to the soul 💔 and I like my soul! 😢

Bless you for the prayers, miss. Bless you 🙏.

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Allie4
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Not certain but if you are 18 and at the risk of becoming homeless then go to your local council, see if they can get you a flat somewhere.

worth a try
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InArduisFouette
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OP do you have a British passport, or IDLR in your own right ?
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Eunomia
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(Original post by castmesoftly)
I guess contacting the local council is one mandatory step for me? I never considered myself to be a 'slave' of sorts, not ever 😕

Sure thing, I'll send you snaps of my document thingies when I get back from work. Nonono please don't, it's okay I'll take a stab at finding something myself 😅 I must pick myself up somehow...

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OK, but if you change your mind then don't hesitate to let us know. I would be glad to help

Yes, that's our best option now, do keep us updated. I can understand why you feel that way, as they are your family and provide for you but your situation does fit the definition of forced labour if you're doing it out of fear of repercussions. You don't have to tell the council about that part if you're worried.
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