boyfriends doesnt care Watch

Titch89
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#41
Report 11 years ago
#41
(Original post by farhan)
Can you think of any good possible realistic reasons?
Might not want to turn it into an argument/make the situation worse than it already is?
0
reply
alex_hk90
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#42
Report 11 years ago
#42
(Original post by dobbs)
PS. a girl who enjoys playing xbox/ps3/etc is far superior to those who don't
Indeed; but they seem few and far between.
0
reply
Bramble
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#43
Report 11 years ago
#43
(Original post by _Katie89)
hi, ive been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a month now, i love hom loads. i personally think he has a problem with computers and computer games, he always seems to need to go and play his pc games, last night we had an arguement, i will admit it started through my paranoia but when trying to sort it out with him he completely ignored me i was trying to make up and he was sitting there on his computer talking to his mate on MSN, every time i cry he takes the micky, i tried to talk to him today and he completely ignored what i had said and replied with somrthing about radiohead, im just wondering is it normal for boys to act like this in arguements like that

thanks
I do feel for you. I really love playing games but at the same time I really appreciate having a REAL life aswell. My first b/f used to hate games of any description and that got really annoying when I wanted to play on resident evil and it drove him nuts. The next boyfriend I had was the total opposite and the only thing he ruddy did was play on games and get stoned with his mates, he was perhaps the single most boring person I've ever had the misfortune of knowing. Now I'm with someone who likes games just as much as me and will play call of duty 4 till 3am, but who also understands the importance of actually getting out there and doing things. In my opinion you can't change someone who is obsessed with games and can't be bothered to make an effort in a relationship.
0
reply
Tianbao
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#44
Report 11 years ago
#44
i want to paly games a lot~~ but i find a part time job instaed~~not because i can't play, but i'm almost 20 and i have to gorw up........
0
reply
Angrybanana
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#45
Report 11 years ago
#45
(Original post by _Katie89)
im trying that, im quite a paranoid person though so i get paranoid about him going out and cheating etc, i know! its stupid, its just the way i am, he tells me all the time he wont cheat but ...i dont know,im gonna try "playing hard to get" haha
Let's face it, he won't go out and cheat because he's obviously not bothered about female company. He'll just sit there playing videogames.

All you guys who are accusing the OP of being a nag, all she wants is for her boyfriend to spend time with her when she comes to see him. It's not an unreasonable request.
0
reply
end_it_on_this
Badges: 0
#46
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#46
(Original post by Angrybanana)
Let's face it, he won't go out and cheat because he's obviously not bothered about female company. He'll just sit there playing videogames.

All you guys who are accusing the OP of being a nag, all she wants is for her boyfriend to spend time with her when she comes to see him. It's not an unreasonable request.

Thank you
0
reply
username138327
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#47
Report 11 years ago
#47
(Original post by _Katie89)
quite hard to do that, he avoids any type of confrontation, i have even confronted him that he avoids it, and he just says something like "i love you shut up"

ah this is an on going thing, i shouldny have started this thread. i must sound like an idiot, i am thankful for everyones opinions though
Maybe he's going through a bad patch. Are you close to any of his friends? It might be worth asking them to see if he's alrite or if he's got a bit of a beef at the moment.
0
reply
end_it_on_this
Badges: 0
#48
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#48
(Original post by Fellas1990)
Maybe he's going through a bad patch. Are you close to any of his friends? It might be worth asking them to see if he's alrite or if he's got a bit of a beef at the moment.

neh no beef, hes doing ok
0
reply
chaywa
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#49
Report 11 years ago
#49
Video games give a certain stimulus to the brain that is difficult to forcibly remove in a short space of time. For the short run try and take the front seat, it'll be more work at your end to organise dates and such but if you are that serious about him then in the long run it'll be worth it...
0
reply
username138327
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#50
Report 11 years ago
#50
(Original post by _Katie89)
neh no beef, hes doing ok
Ahh I see just pork. That's what's wrong with the world these days.
0
reply
end_it_on_this
Badges: 0
#51
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#51
argh! hes a prick!
0
reply
Wind Guru
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#52
Report 11 years ago
#52
Do you go out a lot? like cinema, meal etc?

(we were always stuck at eachothers houses!!)
0
reply
end_it_on_this
Badges: 0
#53
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#53
(Original post by Peridot)
Do you go out a lot? like cinema, meal etc?

(we were always stuck at eachothers houses!!)
yea we go out, i was meant to go out with him and his mates last saturday, we had been planning to see eachother all week, then he decided he didnt wanna see me, i stayed at home crying all night, he was really stubborn which didnt help me feel better and then i got paranoid he'd cheat, i ended up meeting him at 4am with all his mates, it was ok after that but its not fair on me for him to be nice one minute then a complete ba****d the next
0
reply
trance addict
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#54
Report 11 years ago
#54
this is the problem with games like world of warcrack, they ruin your life
0
reply
President George Bush
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#55
Report 11 years ago
#55
yes i agree computer games are boring to me now, I have found other things to do on the Internet.
0
reply
Crimson Black
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#56
Report 11 years ago
#56
(Original post by dobbs)
Why don't you try playing the computer games with him? I don't understand relationships where the couples don't share their interests - for example if you enjoyed doing pottery but he thought it was really stupid, wouldn't you think it would be nice if he came in one day and said he'd like to see how you do it, for you to teach him some stuff, etc?

Even if he's not a big fan of it, he could learn to enjoy it, and if not then at least he gave it a try and you've done something together.

So next time he's going on the computer, just ask him if you can watch and if he can explain what he's doing and why - then ask if you can have a go. I know people can be addicted to games (I think some people are overdoing the "OMG HE'S ADDICTED" thing here though lol), but I'm sure he'd enjoy sitting by you teaching you how to do things on the game.

Once you're good enough, you can do 2 player, and you can say things like "OK we'll get to the next level then we'll go to bed!" or "Right, no way are we going to bed until we finish this section!!"

PS. a girl who enjoys playing xbox/ps3/etc is far superior to those who don't
I do agree with this, a hobby shared is double the fun.

To the OP: obviously we don't know the full situation, but his hobby happens to be videogames (just like for others it might be going clubbing or playing tennis), and denying him his hobby whilst your there is a tad draconian. If he enjoys it more than talking to you, which, let's face it, he might do if he has a choice to "play computer games" or "be nagged at for playing computer games", then you should be concerned. Allow him his vice.

The reason he's being stubborn is to shut you up, to put it bluntly. Men don't like talking about their problems because they don't believe they have any - to their possible chagrin :rolleyes: - and if he doesn't see it as a problem, then he won't want to talk about it because he sees it as an argument with a foregone conclusion. Of course, overcoming an addiction has to come with the realisation that one is addicted. It's tricky to know.

One thing though: telling him to stop playing computer games while you're there will make him angry for you even suggesting it, and embittered and pissed off at you if ban him from it; it's a real catch-22. I got tipped off by his having to "ask" you to play his computer games that you might control him a wee bit too much (but I don't know, seems that way). Do you control him in other aspects as well, like tell him he can't watch porn or other things? Banning him from doing certain things isn't the best way to go about a relationship, he's still his own master whether you're there or not.

Computer games can be addictive things, I know this first hand; but what those on the outside often don't realise is that they are fun. A great deal of fun. Oblivion was and still is an enormously enjoyable game, and I don't blame him if he might prefer to play it over talking to you (most likely about how you want him to stop playing it). My advice would mirror that of Dobbs - have a go yourself. Who knows, you might find further common ground. However, if you find he plays them more than paying an interest to you, conclusion is that either he's truly addicted, or you're not interesting to him. Or a combination of both.

Sorry for the Wall of Text. :p:
0
reply
Wind Guru
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#57
Report 11 years ago
#57
(Original post by dobbs)
Why don't you try playing the computer games with him? I don't understand relationships where the couples don't share their interests - for example if you enjoyed doing pottery but he thought it was really stupid, wouldn't you think it would be nice if he came in one day and said he'd like to see how you do it, for you to teach him some stuff, etc?

Even if he's not a big fan of it, he could learn to enjoy it, and if not then at least he gave it a try and you've done something together.

So next time he's going on the computer, just ask him if you can watch and if he can explain what he's doing and why - then ask if you can have a go. I know people can be addicted to games (I think some people are overdoing the "OMG HE'S ADDICTED" thing here though lol), but I'm sure he'd enjoy sitting by you teaching you how to do things on the game.

Once you're good enough, you can do 2 player, and you can say things like "OK we'll get to the next level then we'll go to bed!" or "Right, no way are we going to bed until we finish this section!!"

PS. a girl who enjoys playing xbox/ps3/etc is far superior to those who don't
A good idea you could try! But it's unfair for you to try and make the effort when he won't. If you don't like playing video games or aren't as fixed as he is, the relationship is still going to be unhealthy. What's a relationship if you just play on video games all the time? and if one minute he's nice to you and the next he's in a mood... He needs to start balancing his priorities.
0
reply
RosiePosiePuddingAndPie
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#58
Report 11 years ago
#58
(Original post by Crimson Black)
I do agree with this, a hobby shared is double the fun.

To the OP: obviously we don't know the full situation, but his hobby happens to be videogames (just like for others it might be going clubbing or playing tennis), and denying him his hobby whilst your there is a tad draconian. If he enjoys it more than talking to you, which, let's face it, he might do if he has a choice to "play computer games" or "be nagged at for playing computer games", then you should be concerned. Allow him his vice.
About the first sentence - she's already said that she DOES play games with him sometimes, so she IS sharing the hobby with him. But she doesn't just want to do that every time she goes round, which is fair enough really.

And about the bit in bold - that's stupid. He actually has the choice of...
1) being rude and playing on a computer game for an hour, when his girlfriend has made the effort to come to his house, which will result in her 'nagging' that he's always playing on the games, when he's got the rest of the week to do that..
or 2) spending time with his girlfriend, who wants to spend time with him.


OP, I can't say I've been in the same situation, but I do sympathise. No matter what other people are saying - if you've only come over for a few hours and he's on games/MSN instead of spending the time with you, then it's pure rudeness. A hobby is one thing, but ignoring your girlfriend because of it is silly.
0
reply
JC.
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#59
Report 11 years ago
#59
Why, when theres a problem with someones relationship is the immediate attitude on TSR "dump him" How shallow can you get.

OK so he's got a problem. Work on it! If he'd rather play on his computer go home and do something you want to do instead. Eventually he'll either realise he's ****ing things up or you'll have been away for so long that you'll have stopped caring.
TBH if he's just been kicked out of uni he'll be doing it more. When I took a gap year, if I wasnt at work I was out in the garage playing with the car. Its a coping mechanism.
Chances are he's pretty miserable.
0
reply
ATPB
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#60
Report 11 years ago
#60
As people have said, the problem isn't that he likes playing computers games, it's that he doesn't care about what you want to do.
If he's agreed to not going on the computer while you're there, it should hopefully be problem over.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Why wouldn't you turn to teachers if you were being bullied?

They might tell my parents (12)
6.42%
They might tell the bully (19)
10.16%
I don't think they'd understand (32)
17.11%
It might lead to more bullying (70)
37.43%
There's nothing they could do (54)
28.88%

Watched Threads

View All