20year old virgin

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hignfy

People like you are the reason everytime I turn up to a new society it is full of ****ing weirdos who can't get laid or can't make friends. Why don't we just create a couple special societies "people who want a shag but can't get one society" or "losers who want friends and can't make any society" and leave everyone else to get on with actually doing the stuff these societies were initially set up for.

Weirdo's or people who respect themselves rather than giving in to sexual feelings? EVERYONE can get a one night stand if they really wanted to, however it seems that not everyone can remain a virgin.

Reply 41

monkeyhead

Anonymous

I'll be in the same boat in a few months, except i'm a girl.

I'm actually starting to see getting wasted in a club & going home with whoever will take me as an ok solution, but i'm worried a random drunk guy won't care if my first time hurts too much...

life sucks for us :smile:

I wouldn't recommend that option, you'll regret it more than anything

Reply 42

ßlαcksωαn

Anonymous

hey, i'm 20 and at uni, i go out on regular basis, have loads of great mates. but i'm 20 and still not slept with anyone, i keep worrying its not gonna happen, my brother whos 2years younger than me and hes bin sleeping with people since he was 15, not sayin thats what i want, but its just bit embarassing my brothers had more sex than me.
i'm confident person who can tlk to anyone, but when it comes to goin up to girls i really lack the confidence, any advice

I don't see the issue...

Reply 43

Somebody

As you've probably guessed, you're not exactly alone...

I'm a girl, I'm 20 and a virgin. Never even had a boyfriend. Overall, I don't care too much, I'm happy with life...

That's not to say I don't want a boyfriend (infact, me and my flatmates talk about this sort of thing most days...). But I want to have a guy who's ready and willing to have the patience with me, and the same for me to him. The shame is I have a nasty habit of liking players, though I'd NEVER let them get hold of me in *that* way...

I get a lot of people telling me "All you need is a good ****", but to be honest, I want to wait til I'm married (I'm a Christian), and I know that's actually hard for guys. I guess that's part of the reason I've always been single - I always distance myself so not to get hurt / hurt the guy.

But to summarise:
~ You're not alone
~ You're totally normal
~ Don't worry about society
~ Just make sure you're happy
~ Don't do anything because you feel you should; do it cos it's right for you

I think that's everything I wanted to say :smile:

Hope it helps!

Reply 44

Anonymous #6

I'll post this as anon since my bf uses TSR and i'm not sure if he'd want me talking about this. And if he guesses then it's between me & him at least :smile:

Anyway, last week I lost my virginity properly (we were trying for a while and it isn't exactly small so it took a fair while). My boyfriend didn't pressure me at all, waited until I was ready and made me feel comfortable. There is no shame in being a virgin at 20 (I was, i'm almost 21). I never rushed into anything and I waited until I was with someone who I loved and loved me back (i know it sounds all 'fairytale' but i stuck to my beliefs about it). There is no rush and if people think any less of you because of it then what does that say about them?

I'm glad I waited, it's not like I've never had the chance to **** some random bloke. I waited for the right person and not only did they respect that but it made me feel better and confident about myself. I know somebody who lost her virginity to her **** buddy last year and he made her feel like ****. I'd much rather be in my position to be honest.

So basically, don't rush into it, because all I used to get off my friends was "i wish i would have waited".

Sup to you though I guess :smile:

Reply 45

so_crunchy

TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER

Sorry! There have been a lot of replies to your threads , and people saying 'dont worry about it'. Honestly though.. its a big deal - i can see what your going through! Its like seeing a cookie jar every day but never know how nice them cookies are inside!..... And honestly, i dont think i know much better things than playing with boobies!

What would i suggest?

Dress smart!
Go out!
Lose some dignity you might have!
Your a bloke! Your meant to have no shame!
Who cares who or what you sleep with? (rather not animals tho pls)
Get a few drinks down you, you want to merry to give you confidence, help you not be nervous or slow with the jokes. DONT be pissed!
Go up to girls, pay a bit of attention, listen, and ask them questions! (they luv talking about themselves and love the attention more).
Then it becomes a number game. Remember, no shame! Now you go out in your local city. Bars and Clubs galore! Girls want it as much as us bloke do! They just go about keeping it quiet and can keep a lid on it (and there are a few blokes who bring us blokes reputation down!)
Then if you go up to a girl, start with hello and see where it goes from there! (cant give you a convo script to get you a girl in bed im afraid)
If nothing happens, not feeling it, blah blah, move on! NO SHAME remember! If a girl rudely turns you down, just give them a cheeky smile or laugh at them.
As long as dont be a dick towards the girl. there will be someone who will, so to speak, give it out!

Why do i suggest this?
Because.... sex is something you do need to practise a bit! When you do meet someone whose fit, likes u, has a good personality and all of that.. then you want to make sure you can give her a good time.

Lastly....
Go for it !!! No shame! Be confident and always nice to girls! Confidence is the key! if i can get a girl into bed with her content, then any tom dick or harry can!
Girls are LUCKY in one way as they dont have to make the first move or do the chatting up! So we do the hard work but we can also pick who we chat up! But do remember, like u, they will have different styles, tastes, opinions and likes! But if u do as i say! there will be plenty of girls who u can bed! Back to yours, or theres and make sure you got the comdoms ready! (ebay is a good place if you want to stock up on a few)

Reply 46

Ad-Alta

hignfy

People "like me"? :rolleyes:

Get over yourself.
Obviously I wasn't suggesting the OP just randomly join societies/clubs, he should pick ones which appeal to him in terms of the activities they offer. Geez.
Anyway, elitist much?

Reply 47

Rouge

Anonymous

why are guys so pragmatic/unromantic and desparate about all matters sex related?
Basically you're saying I must insert my penis into a female which will then result in me acheiving a status called "losing my virginity", because statistically I have already surpassed the national average age that a human male does this. Wow sounds thrilling, I wonder why more girls aren't lining up to do it with you

Reply 48

Psyk

Ad-Alta

People "like me"? :rolleyes:

Get over yourself.
Obviously I wasn't suggesting the OP just randomly join societies/clubs, he should pick ones which appeal to him in terms of the activities they offer. Geez.
Anyway, elitist much?

I sort of agree with him. Joining societies is often given as advice on where to meet people. But if you're just joining a society to find a bf/gf then isn't that missing the point of societies? Even if you do have a bit of an interest in it, if that's not the main reason for joining then it seems a little sad to me.

Reply 49

Ad-Alta

Psyk

Join a society you want to join > meet people > perhaps meet someone you like > perhaps they'll like you back
But yeah, it's silly to join a society you'd otherwise have no interest in just to meet people - so OP don't go joining the *tries to think of something which can't be interpreted as sexist*, well, you get what I mean :p:

Reply 50

Meep!

so_crunchy

Why do i suggest this?
Because.... sex is something you do need to practise a bit! When you do meet someone whose fit, likes u, has a good personality and all of that.. then you want to make sure you can give her a good time.

Actually, I was rather pleased to be my bf's first (and I his). It made me feel rather good about myself that I was the one he chose to lose his virginity to. I doubt I'm alone in this.

Reply 51

Somebody

Meep!

Actually, I was rather pleased to be my bf's first (and I his). It made me feel rather good about myself that I was the one he chose to lose his virginity to. I doubt I'm alone in this.

That's part of the reason I'm waiting! Personally, I view sex as more than just a physical act, so I want to give the person I lose it to my all, so to speak, which is one of the reasons I want to wait til marriage.

However, I already know it's very unlikely I'll be anyone's first too, but I've started to except it. :p:

Reply 52

theredsox

Psyk

Yeah I agree. I've never got any stick for being a virgin. And it's not like I keep it a secret.

I get the odd jokey comment about it, but yeah, I find that nobody really cares. Why should they?

Reply 53

yeahritter

I think it's better to wait till you're in your 20s to have sex. This isn't a cut-and-dried statistic, but on speculation (and from my experience), people who start having sex in their young or mid teens tend to be less discriminatory and have more random sexual partners than people who wait. The reason being, I think, because you know yourself better - what you want, what you don't want - as you get older. And you develop better judgment throughout your 20s, literally, as your prefrontal cortex finishes developing.

In other words, no worries. There's almost no such thing as 'it will never happen'. When the time is right and the person is right, you'll hardly be able to stop it.

Reply 54

D-Day

I wonder what the record is for number of Anonymous posters in a thread. This is ridiculous.

Reply 55

Anonymous #7

Reject casual sex. Demand courtship and love. If you don't have a strong exclusive connection with a man before sex, he certainly won't have time for you after the challenge is gone. Consecrate yourself to your future husband and children. If you belong to many men, it will be hard to ever belong to one.

Do not compete with other women on the basis of sex. Let the sluts have the sex. You are looking for a permanent lifetime commitment. Therefore cultivate the qualities and skills desirable in a wife and a mother. Essentially this is a willingness to sacrifice for the right man. (This will make him love you.) And the right man is someone you admire and love, who is dedicated, trustworthy, loyal and loving. Concentrate on prospective marriage-minded males, usually a few years older than you. Don't waste your time on boys or nomads. You want a home builder.

Reply 56

Anonymous #7

You will often find the same people pushing feminism normalising pornography, perversion and casual sex. Feminism is a scheme devised in communist Russia designed to fracture society, to divide and conquer it basically. It's purpose is to undermine the family as the basic social institution so people will be more dependent on government and corporations. Feminism is a lesbian ideology which denies gender differences, it is poison for women. It has destroyed the things women most want and need, namely love, courtship and marriage.

They are poisoning society. Feminism is not a spontaneous grass roots social phenomena. It is top-down elite social engineering- i.e. behavior modification by the mass media, government and the education system. It was wholly sponsored by the central bankers in order to make women have careers instead of families.

Put the romantic stuff on the back burner. Usually it is based on Hollywood nonsense and idealization. People aren't perfect and not worthy of adulation. They are all flawed and we love them for what they are.

In conclusion, you have been betrayed by society. Feminism is elite social engineering. Your choice is whether to participate in the natural life cycle and grow and be fulfilled, or be another casualty of the elite war against gender and family.