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    I don't think confidence is an issue for you, you seem to think you're god's gift.

    You weren't as sensitive and considerate towards this girl as you make out- you grinded against her in a club, sending out signals that you were interested 'just to see how she'd react'- ego trip much?

    Ditto to what everyone else has said, wait until you find someone you like. Though they'd probably be lowering their standards to sleep with the likes of you. You sound pretty into yourself.
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    This thread has just made me lose all faith in men. I hope I never come across a guy like the OP.
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    (Original post by satisverborum2003)
    This thread has just made me lose all faith in men. I hope I never come across a guy like the OP.
    The surprising thing is that you had any faith in us in the first place...

    And to be fair, put yourself in his position - he is 23 and still a virgin. If I were him I would go after anything with legs, a vagina and most of the chromosomes required to pass as human and throw the consequences to the wind. Happily I'm not in that situation so I am able to be kind, caring and considerate to all women.
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    (Original post by satisverborum2003)
    This thread has just made me lose all faith in men. I hope I never come across a guy like the OP.
    most are like this but hide it pretty well, but op sounds really pathetic
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    (Original post by Angrybanana)
    I don't think confidence is an issue for you, you seem to think you're god's gift.

    You weren't as sensitive and considerate towards this girl as you make out- you grinded against her in a club, sending out signals that you were interested 'just to see how she'd react'- ego trip much?
    "Curiousity", rather then "egotism" to be honest. One way you can find out if someone is into you is by sending out a signal like that, that way if she was not interested she would have now played along...sounds logical?

    Besides, I don't know about you, but with many things in life I like to be sure of it rather then be shrouded in doubt. That my friend, is the worst feeling in the world...so give me a break.

    Yes there is still an element of chance that she is not into me afterall, but at least now I can be more sure that the chances are that this is not the case.

    Ditto to what everyone else has said, wait until you find someone you like. Though they'd probably be lowering their standards to sleep with the likes of you. You sound pretty into yourself.
    ...Yeah, so into myself that I didn't try and pushing things further for my own self-gratification.
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    (Original post by Rouge)
    Why why why? this is the crux of the matter, why have you become so desperate, you make it sound like you were once a rich guy who lost all his money or something.
    Are you ugly OP, if so maybe all the girls in your league you will not find attractive, sadly this is true for some people
    Dunno, get told I am "handsome"/"mysterious"...But I guess that accounts for nothing.

    Yeah I can see where you are coming from, I guess the reason why it comes of that way because at one point I was having girls I found attractive into me with little work i.e. they would ask me to kiss them, invite me back to their rooms, attempt to kiss me (on one occasion 4 times in one night!)...Not to mention I have had many girls in relationships into me. If I was a lot more ballsy I could have lost it back when I was 17, had a clear opportunity presented to me there, with a girl I found attractive but failed to go for it because I didn't know how.

    Just that this has been lingering for so long and yes I am becoming a bit desperate now because it seems as though if I continue down this route I will keep on making the same mistakes over and over again with girl after girl irrespective of hotness. Plus my opportunities have kind of frizzled out recently which is diabolical.
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    (Original post by k823127)
    one word:-shallow. Maybe this girl that you have to 'lower your standards' for will turn around and tell you where to stick your virginity (Not literally).... Or maybe your just not up to her 'standards' anymore.

    personnally, i think the same. thats taking advantage.

    i think you should just wait, eventually you'll find someone who you like and that likes you.
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    (Original post by super jay182)
    personnally, i think the same. thats taking advantage.

    i think you should just wait, eventually you'll find someone who you like and that likes you.
    Yeah, I agree. Hang in there OP!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    in a set time scale I have to escalate sexually
    Now, that's just a chat-up line waiting to happen.
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    Oh, please don't listen to the girls on this thread, OP.
    I beg of thee.

    Get in, get out.
    Listen to Mr. Breaker.

    Confident? Arrogant? Intelligent? Check. Check. Check. Lot's of girls go for that (like me). However, you're missing the key bit in that set of traits - experience and the knowledge how to make it happen. Learn, move on. Even if you were looking for a relationship, chances are, you'd break up anyways, statistically speaking. Thus, the outcome is the same. She's without you, but moving on since you've made it clear that it's the end. You're a better, snazzier, more experienced you.
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    (Original post by Erradhadh)
    Oh, please don't listen to the girls on this thread, OP.
    I beg of thee.
    Heard their arguement many times before, listened to it.
    I guess what I do find ironic, is that after getting into situations where I have isolated the girl, if I don't take up my chance there and then, she drunkenly gets off with the other guy who does make his move.

    Last girl this happened with, made a good lasting impression on the first night in meeting her (got her number), anyway she phoned me the next day at 3am asking me to come around to her flat. I went around, we came back to mine, watched a movie (braveheart) together on the sofa ....and **** man I just sat there wondering what to do (thinking back maybe we should have watched the exorcist or some ****, would have been better). I left it lingering, next party we were both at, spent hours talking to each other, some dude came along (she was drunk) wanting to dance, she pushed him away as she was enjoying the moment chillin with me, but then gave in as he was being so persistant. Next thing I know they are kissing each other in the corridoor...what that was about I just don't know, but thought to myself "oh for ****s sake not this again in my head" as that happened.

    Get in, get out.
    Listen to Mr. Breaker.

    Confident? Arrogant? Intelligent? Check. Check. Check. Lot's of girls go for that (like me). However, you're missing the key bit in that set of traits - experience and the knowledge how to make it happen. Learn, move on. Even if you were looking for a relationship, chances are, you'd break up anyways, statistically speaking. Thus, the outcome is the same. She's without you, but moving on since you've made it clear that it's the end. You're a better, snazzier, more experienced you.
    Yeah, really don't want to use people - but if that is the only way I am going to get the confidence in this area I need to take up my chances...then maybe thats what I have to do. It is a **** situation either way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Heard their arguement many times before, listened to it.
    I guess what I do find ironic, is that after getting into situations where I have isolated the girl, if I don't take up my chance there and then, she drunkenly gets off with the other guy who does make his move.
    Exactly. There is no "later". What happens is she gets pissed off that a guy she wants is wasting time chatting when they could be getting busy........and an aggressive guy comes along and "collects"..............


    Last girl this happened with, made a good lasting impression on the first night in meeting her (got her number), anyway she phoned me the next day at 3am asking me to come around to her flat. I went around, we came back to mine, watched a movie (braveheart) together on the sofa ....and **** man I just sat there wondering what to do (thinking back maybe we should have watched the exorcist or some ****, would have been better). I left it lingering, next party we were both at, spent hours talking to each other, some dude came along (she was drunk) wanting to dance, she pushed him away as she was enjoying the moment chillin with me, but then gave in as he was being so persistant. Next thing I know they are kissing each other in the corridoor...what that was about I just don't know, but thought to myself "oh for ****s sake not this again in my head" as that happened.
    Everything in bold is fine............after that though.....:banghead:

    Next time.......JUST MAKE THE GODDAMN MOVE!!!!!!

    If it fails............so what? Just evaluate what went wrong and don't do that!


    Yeah, really don't want to use people - but if that is the only way I am going to get the confidence in this area I need to take up my chances...then maybe thats what I have to do. It is a **** situation either way.
    From your original post, it seems like the girl you described was down for whatever.....how can you be 'using' her?????

    And yeah, you gotta take your chances........it's just like poker.......declining bets on the final street when you KNOW you're good/the other guy is weak will cost you SO MUCH money (one of my biggest leaks, but that's another story)........just like declining sex from women who want sex with you will (has) cost you SO MUCH experience.........

    In time though, with more experience you'll recognize from TINY signs when she's good to go......but for now, get in where you fit in and GO FOR YOURS!!!!!!
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    if you really are that depserate for 'practice sex' then why not sleep with an escort/call girl? at least that way no one gets their emotions trampled over. its not the sort of thing i would normally advocate but its preferable to hurting someone who is also possibly quite vulnerably emotionally (clingy people often are)

    you should go nowhere near this girl in a romantic/sexual sense because that would be totally unfair to her to lead her on like that when she clearly wants more than can give her
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seriously dude I didn't know what to do! (if only there was a step by step guide for such situations)

    It did not help that she had a bf too, although he was abroad. Told my dad about what happened he said that "I bought shame to his manhood."
    Your dad is turning out to be quite a legend!
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    If you do take every girls' advice and wait for somebody special, you will be **** in bed with them, and they won't come back for more.
    That is the decision you have to make, to shag some average looking girl to get you some much needed experience, or take the moral high ground and push away and possible 'special' girls with **** sex.

    For me, it's a no-brainer. Get in. Get it wet. Get out. Simple as that.
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    (Original post by undercover agent)
    if you really are that depserate for 'practice sex' then why not sleep with an escort/call girl? at least that way no one gets their emotions trampled over. its not the sort of thing i would normally advocate but its preferable to hurting someone who is also possibly quite vulnerably emotionally (clingy people often are)
    Have a mate that actually said he would spend 400 quid on me if I dont get laid by 25.

    Anyway joking aside. Psychologically I would seriously feel like **** if I had to sleep with an escourt girl....probably on the same lines as her if I ended up 'using' her for practice sex.
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    (Original post by mr-breaker)
    Exactly. There is no "later". What happens is she gets pissed off that a guy she wants is wasting time chatting when they could be getting busy........and an aggressive guy comes along and "collects"..............




    Everything in bold is fine............after that though.....:banghead:

    Next time.......JUST MAKE THE GODDAMN MOVE!!!!!!

    If it fails............so what? Just evaluate what went wrong and don't do that!
    I really don't know how though? At the time we were on the sofa, how do you escalate sexually?...do I start randomly touching her or something?...or turn my head around and dive in with my lips.
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    Just move closer to her, whop out a bit of the old cheesy chat up lines, then move in for the kill.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really don't know how though? At the time we were on the sofa, how do you escalate sexually?...do I start randomly touching her or something?...or turn my head around and dive in with my lips.
    It's hard to say 'cause I wasn't there, and you were............but I'm assuming you were sitting RIGHT next to her. You should have already been touching her in some way. If so look her in the eyes and as smoothly as possible just go in for it.......There will be a natural point in the conversation where it's JUST right to go for it............as I've already said you'll pick this up soon enough!


    YMMV
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    How do you plan to do anything with her when the thought of being remotely sexual with her makes you cringe? You sound so desperate. Instead of hurting the poor girl get a love love doll and shag that. It has tits too. So you can develop your caressing technique. Plus it has a hole for your little/non existent penis. Good luck my lovely. Xxx
 
 
 
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