Muslim girl + sex before marriage = no go? Watch

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adilmorrison
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#41
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#41
(Original post by jacketpotato)
The Op has to decide whether she wants to marry into and perpetuate a oppressive and ridiculous interpretation of a religion, or whether she wants to live her life and enjoy it like a normal person, with all the sex and whatever else that entails. If you really feel you must marry a hardcore Muslim husband with the result of being treated like a piece of property for the rest of your life, then go for it. But I hope for your sake you are more sensible than that!!!
It's not a question of being sensible... If the OPs family are strict Muslims, then the chances are she will be ostracised if she chooses not to marry a Muslim... If she wants to marry a Muslim, then not being a virgin will be a serious hinderance...
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geminibubblegum
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#42
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#42
Frankly if I was oging to marry someone and they asked me if i was a virgin i would tell them it was none of their business. If if I hadn't i still wouldn't go for a relationship with a person who sets soo much store by something so trivial, and would let whether or not their potential spouse had sex or not ruin a possibly loving relationship.
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adamstaple
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#43
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#43
OP, why don't you just finger each other instead/play with each other, but not have penetrative sex?
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adamstaple
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#44
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#44
(Original post by adilmorrison)
It's not a question of being sensible... If the OPs family are strict Muslims, then the chances are she will be ostracised if she chooses not to marry a Muslim... If she wants to marry a Muslim, then not being a virgin will be a serious hinderance...
Why are people so against marrying other religions in Islam?

It's perfectly acceptable, in Islam, to marry 'People of the Book', no? That includes Christians + Jews?

So why would she be ostracised? :confused:
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adilmorrison
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#45
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#45
(Original post by geminibubblegum)
Frankly if I was oging to marry someone and they asked me if i was a virgin i would tell them it was none of their business. If if I hadn't i still wouldn't go for a relationship with a person who sets soo much store by something so trivial, and would let whether or not their potential spouse had sex or not ruin a possibly loving relationship.
That's good for you. I don't get why people who don't understand are commenting on this...
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Snookercraze
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#46
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#46
(Original post by jacketpotato)
The Op has to decide whether she wants to marry into and perpetuate a oppressive and ridiculous interpretation of a religion, or whether she wants to live her life and enjoy it like a normal person, with all the sex and whatever else that entails. If you really feel you must marry a hardcore Muslim husband with the result of being treated like a piece of property for the rest of your life, then go for it. But I hope for your sake you are more sensible than that!!!
Where do you get such false ideas from? Where in Islam does it say that the wife is the property of the husband? A hardcore Muslim husband should respect his wife, be considerate and caring towards her, and NEVER mistreat her. You've heard a few stories, and now are presuming, wrongly, that it is the norm in Islam.

You're an educated guy; don't be so naive.
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adilmorrison
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#47
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#47
(Original post by adamstaple)
Why are people so against marrying other religions in Islam?

It's perfectly acceptable, in Islam, to marry 'People of the Book', no? That includes Christians + Jews?

So why would she be ostracised? :confused:
Only for men. Women have to marry Muslims.
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adamstaple
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#48
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#48
(Original post by adilmorrison)
Only for men. Women have to marry Muslims.
What the fudge?

That just screams pathetic misogyny.
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menagerie
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#49
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#49
(Original post by adilmorrison)
Only for men. Women have to marry Muslims.
Isn't this so that the children are raised Muslim as they take the father's religion in Islam?

If you're not planning of having children, can't you marry anyone 'of the book', or can't you just raise the children with Islam anyway? (ie 'convert' them to Islam at a young age)?

I've always wondered this.
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Hogo
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#50
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#50
(Original post by geminibubblegum)
Frankly if I was oging to marry someone and they asked me if i was a virgin i would tell them it was none of their business. If if I hadn't i still wouldn't go for a relationship with a person who sets soo much store by something so trivial, and would let whether or not their potential spouse had sex or not ruin a possibly loving relationship.
Sex is far from trivial in Islam though.
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adilmorrison
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#51
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#51
(Original post by menagerie)
Isn't this so that the children are raised Muslim as they take the father's religion in Islam?

If you're not planning of having children, can't you marry anyone 'of the book', or can't you just raise the children with Islam anyway? (ie 'convert' them to Islam at a young age)?

I've always wondered this.
It's also about protecting the woman's faith... In a relationship, the man is traditionally seen as the dominant figure, so if the man is not a Muslim, he may try and force the woman away from Islam.
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adilmorrison
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#52
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#52
(Original post by adamstaple)
What the fudge?

That just screams pathetic misogyny.
There are reasons for it...
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adamstaple
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#53
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#53
(Original post by adilmorrison)
There are reasons for it...
Like? :rolleyes:
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ROOM-112
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#54
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#54
wait 4 marriage...dont spoil it and go against ur religion
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adilmorrison
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#55
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#55
(Original post by adamstaple)
Like? :rolleyes:
Children usually take on the religion of the father... If the father isn't Muslim, then the children are unlikely to be. In relationships, the man is normally seen as the dominant figure and so if a woman marries a non-Muslim, he may try and force her to leave Islam...
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booraad
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#56
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#56
(Original post by rizzl8)
i wouldnt want my wife to have been digged in by some other guy ..eeeew..so think about it and the future mainly and its just not a matter of a few minutes of pleasure..its a whole lot more than that
Well, people do have sex in committed relationships too. Not everything is promiscuity vs marriage. Women aren't objects that can be 'digged in' (a strange phrase if ever I heard one).
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Abdulla
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#57
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#57
You should just wait until you actually do get married. No harm in waiting?
If your bf is only with you for the sex then he doesn't deserve you.
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booraad
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#58
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#58
(Original post by adilmorrison)
Children usually take on the religion of the father... If the father isn't Muslim, then the children are unlikely to be. In relationships, the man is normally seen as the dominant figure and so if a woman marries a non-Muslim, he may try and force her to leave Islam...
Children don't usually take the religion of the father in most relationships. In patriarchal societies this may be true, but if anything in the West, mothers spend more time around their children and it's more likely a child will adopt her beliefs.

Men in all cultures don't actually force their wives to leave religions. Actually it is Islam that preaches that as fact and it's a misperception. If Islam states that to marry a man who is a non-Muslim MAKES a woman a kafir, then it's Islam that makes this judgement and discards people.
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jacketpotato
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#59
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#59
(Original post by Snookercraze)
Where do you get such false ideas from? Where in Islam does it say that the wife is the property of the husband? A hardcore Muslim husband should respect his wife, be considerate and caring towards her, and NEVER mistreat her. You've heard a few stories, and now are presuming, wrongly, that it is the norm in Islam.

You're an educated guy; don't be so naive.
I'm not basing myself on Islamic doctrine or what the Qu'ran says. I'm basing myself on culture. It seems fairly evident that, culturally, taking Islam seriously goes hand in hand with oppression towards women. Bans on sex before marriage, the Hijab, bans on boyfriends and bans on going out are very common problems raised in this forum by girls with parents that consider themselves to be strict Muslims. Whether she wants to remain involved with that is something the Op has to consider, whether or not she follows the Qu'ran strictly.
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adilmorrison
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#60
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#60
(Original post by booraad)
Children don't usually take the religion of the father in most relationships. In patriarchal societies this may be true, but if anything in the West, mothers spend more time around their children and it's more likely a child will adopt her beliefs.

Men in all cultures don't actually force their wives to leave religions. Actually it is Islam that preaches that as fact and it's a misperception. If Islam states that to marry a man who is a non-Muslim MAKES a woman a kafir, then it's Islam that makes this judgement and discards people.
Most Muslim societies and societies of the past are/were patriarchal... It's not so much a case of forcing a woman to leave her religion, but rather making it difficult to practice it... This is of course not the case in all situations/relationships, but why take the risk?
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