Depression Society MkII Watch

This discussion is closed.
FizzBitch
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#6201
Report 10 years ago
#6201
(Original post by Psyk)
I just can't stop crying today. I feel like I don't fit in with my housemates. They all have stuff going on in there lives and I don't. I have nothing to talk about with them except how miserable I am. I'm probably just annoying them. I think the only reason I ended up being friends with them in the first place was because I was too lazy/not confident enough to find friends I have things in common with in my first year. So I just stuck around with the people in my flat.

I can relate to this - I'm not at uni but I feel the same as you around my friends, we get on alright but don't have much in common, and it gets a bit frustrating when all they want to talk about is clothes and boy problems. :rolleyes: Once my exams are over, I'm going to get involved with some pressure groups, which is something that will suit me a lot more than just being dragged around shops when I feel up to going out (which hasn't been often recently).
What sort of things are you interested in? As vapid has suggested, maybe try joining a group at uni, I'm sure they would welcome a new member.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6202
Report 10 years ago
#6202
well even for yourself it seems like a good idea to try to find something you're interested in. Is there really nothing? Sport, animals, charity, politics?
0
Psyk
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6203
Report 10 years ago
#6203
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
well even for yourself it seems like a good idea to try to find something you're interested in. Is there really nothing? Sport, animals, charity, politics?
I'd rather shoot myself than play a sport. Had enough of animals after having to look after a dying dog. I'm too selfish and apathetic for charity and politics.

The only interest I have is computer games. But I'm not really interested in multiplayer games so it's not really an activity I can do with other people. I'd like to be more involved with making them (that's my career plan) but I've found there's actually very little interest in that here even though it's something you have to do on my course.
0
kiss_me_now9
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#6204
Report 10 years ago
#6204
(Original post by Mathy, Ace from Space)
Ugh. My mom woke me up this morning, but I threw this massive half-asleep strop (like I usually do) and she just left me there and went to work. It's not like I expected her to be nice, after all I do this every day, but I felt so bad when I heard her leave the house this morning. She tries to be really nice but sometimes I just can't help it but be horrible, and then she gets angry and it makes me feel worse.
I only got up out of bed like half an hour ago (usually I get up at 6 or 7 ish), and I just don't feel like revising. It's really bad, my exam is next Friday and I just can't get into gear and revise. I've never been like this before - I seriously think there's something wrong, but no-one seems to realise.
I know the feeling - that's why I'm still at home, I'm not going back until I actually have to. My family don't seem to realise that I'm so miserable there, and the reason I come home every weekend (and every other chance I get) is because I hate it there. Everytime I bring up the idea of reapplying somewhere else, further away, they get so negative and shoot it down, that I'm so scared of asking them. It's like subconsciously they don't want me to be happy...I know that's not truue, but that's what it feels like. They just don't listen. No-one listens.
That's pretty much exactly like me, I am a ***** in the mornings. My trouble is I 'learned' early on how to respond exactly to all my Mums questions and am apparently able to hold and continue a conversation (I've been bought cups of tea before, then not drunk them because I'm still asleep, even managed to get my mum to bring my breakfast up once) I did hardly any work at school and do hardly any here at uni, I just don't have the motivation. I'm going to try really, really, really hard to do all my work this semester, but we'll see how it goes.

I saw my best friend today, first time in three months. Which was lovely. We went and got Chinese (somewhat of a tradition among me and my home friends) and went to the Cinema to see Seven Pounds... which was plain boring. She's having a great time (her biggest problem is her flatmates smoking weed which she's against) and has found what sounds like some great people up there. Now I'm sad because she's left and I won't see her until April, probably.

Am so tired as well. I haven't slept properly in three days despite having very full days (been moving my uncle and aunt into their new house) and very late nights/early mornings. I am so stressed (about everything, trying to find a house for next year, new modules this semester, flatmates, moving back, finding my feet again) and I can't get my thoughts to stop running around my head at night. *Sigh*

:hugs: for all.
0
Psyk
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6205
Report 10 years ago
#6205
I'm actually feeling a bit better now. Had a talk with one of my housemates and it made me feel better. Sometimes you need a guy chat, even if that guy is gay.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6206
Report 10 years ago
#6206
(Original post by Psyk)
I'm actually feeling a bit better now. Had a talk with one of my housemates and it made me feel better. Sometimes you need a guy chat, even if that guy is gay.
what the hell is that supposed to mean? :mad:
0
Psyk
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6207
Report 10 years ago
#6207
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
what the hell is that supposed to mean? :mad:
FFS I don't mean anything by it. If you're the one that gave me that neg rep, that was my point.

I just thought it was funny because it challenges the stereotype of gay men being really feminine. I swear people go around looking for excuses to get pissed off.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6208
Report 10 years ago
#6208
oh sorry, forgot to leave my name.

and you obviously did mean something by it otherwise why even bother mentioning that he's gay? He's still a 'guy'. I don't go around looking to get pissed off, I found what you said offensive.
0
Psyk
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6209
Report 10 years ago
#6209
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
oh sorry, forgot to leave my name.

and you obviously did mean something by it otherwise why even bother mentioning that he's gay? He's still a 'guy'. I don't go around looking to get pissed off, I found what you said offensive.
Get over yourself. I told you why I mentioned he was gay. It was a light hearted joke, one that is actually supporting your assertion that he is still a guy. Why are you so pissed of with me when I'm agreeing with you?
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6210
Report 10 years ago
#6210
(Original post by Psyk)
Get over yourself. I told you why I mentioned he was gay. It was a light hearted joke, one that is actually supporting your assertion that he is still a guy. Why are you so pissed of with me when I'm agreeing with you?
because what you said just reinforces stereotypes. just by challenging it you're suggesting such a view exists (which I'm not convinced it does). It's not like you can magically tell who's gay and who isn't.
0
Psyk
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6211
Report 10 years ago
#6211
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
because what you said just reinforces stereotypes. just by challenging it you're suggesting such a view exists (which I'm not convinced it does). It's not like you can magically tell who's gay and who isn't.
Ok fine, I'm sorry I mentioned my housemate is gay. I'll keep it a secret from now on.

Anyway, why are you so offended on behalf of gay men? It's not like you're one.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6212
Report 10 years ago
#6212
I can't find homophobic comments offensive because I'm not a gay man? Yeah, sure, whatever.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6213
Report 10 years ago
#6213
(Original post by Psyk)
Ok fine, I'm sorry I mentioned my housemate is gay. I'll keep it a secret from now on.
no, you made out he was somehow sub-human by saying that even he could have a regular conversation with you. It wasn't in any way relevant to the point you were making.
0
death.drop
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6214
Report 10 years ago
#6214
I really need to get some stuff out so I'm imposing on this thread. this will be long so I apologise but I really need to get these things out.

lately I just feel like a total mess. I've been going severely downhill for a few weeks now but there have been a few breaking points that I just don't seem to be able to recover from.

strike one - I'm at the pub with a few friends. all of whom have known me for some time. Andrew is there and he knows all about me being raped and things because he found me once on a bench with a bloody face, I was high and I felt totally alone and I just told him everything.
Everything's going fine and then for some reason it came up. He and my ex (joe) start discussing it and they say to me that it was basically my fault because I kept going back. I was bringing it on myself and I asked for it. By going back I deserved it.
I just ignored them and changed the subject.

strike 2 - a few weeks ago I went to the pub to meet up with some old friends who've gone off to uni now. There was a guy there who I dated briefly (dave), we were all sitting and having a conversation, when another mate came over to say goodbye. I hugged him and said I'd see him at home. He leaves and Dave just looks at me, disgusted and says 'I hate you'. He then goes on to list every reason that he hates me.
apparently I'm an attention seeker, totally self obsessed and constantly needing reassurance so being all over guys I have no interest in. He tells me that I'm a waster and that I will never change because being depressed is who I've made myself to be. after about 10 minutes of this I look to joe (the ex who's a close friend of mine) for some sort escape or something, and he just says 'he's right you know'.
so I basically get out of there as fast as I can and burst out crying as soon as I'm round the corner.

strike 3 - I'd been trying to get hold of Joe all day and rang andrew to see if he could speak to him online.
later on I said to andrew about not answering his phone and he said "yeah because last time I told you wanted him he said "no, not kat. she's a ******* mess"" and joe just got up and left instead of denying it.

If the things weren't true I could just shake them off but lately I've just had this horrible feeling that I could have changed everything if I'd just stood up for myself and stood my ground.

sleeping has been really difficult lately as well, I'm having these two recurring dreams. one about a fireworks night a while ago where the two guys who abused me basically put a firework in me and lit it and another time where he tied me up overnight and I can't express how much pain my wrists were in. plus it was freezing cold because I had no clothes on. I feel embarassed to write those. ashamed of myself even and I know that's exactly how you're not meant to feel.

everything's so realistic in my dreams that it just feels like although that part of my life is behind me it's just never going to end.
Now it feels like not only did I let myself in for it then but that I do it to myself again now. I feel like I deserve for it still to be happening, and I kind of want it to so I still have an excuse to feel like I do when I should just be moving on and letting it go. It's just been such an huge thing in my life that I don't know how to be happy any more. I don't know who I would be if it hadn't all happened. I feel lost. I feel like it's just who I am, that it's what defines so many parts of me and I don't want to be that person. I just want to be a normal person.

If anyone actually read that then thanks, I just want someone to hear me and I don't feel like I can talk like this to any of my friends. Thanks again.
0
QuantumTheory
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6215
Report 10 years ago
#6215
(Original post by death.drop)
I really need to get some stuff out so I'm imposing on this thread. this will be long so I apologise but I really need to get these things out.

lately I just feel like a total mess. I've been going severely downhill for a few weeks now but there have been a few breaking points that I just don't seem to be able to recover from.

strike one - I'm at the pub with a few friends. all of whom have known me for some time. Andrew is there and he knows all about me being raped and things because he found me once on a bench with a bloody face, I was high and I felt totally alone and I just told him everything.
Everything's going fine and then for some reason it came up. He and my ex (joe) start discussing it and they say to me that it was basically my fault because I kept going back. I was bringing it on myself and I asked for it. By going back I deserved it.
I just ignored them and changed the subject.

strike 2 - a few weeks ago I went to the pub to meet up with some old friends who've gone off to uni now. There was a guy there who I dated briefly (dave), we were all sitting and having a conversation, when another mate came over to say goodbye. I hugged him and said I'd see him at home. He leaves and Dave just looks at me, disgusted and says 'I hate you'. He then goes on to list every reason that he hates me.
apparently I'm an attention seeker, totally self obsessed and constantly needing reassurance so being all over guys I have no interest in. He tells me that I'm a waster and that I will never change because being depressed is who I've made myself to be. after about 10 minutes of this I look to joe (the ex who's a close friend of mine) for some sort escape or something, and he just says 'he's right you know'.
so I basically get out of there as fast as I can and burst out crying as soon as I'm round the corner.

strike 3 - I'd been trying to get hold of Joe all day and rang andrew to see if he could speak to him online.
later on I said to andrew about not answering his phone and he said "yeah because last time I told you wanted him he said "no, not kat. she's a ******* mess"" and joe just got up and left instead of denying it.

If the things weren't true I could just shake them off but lately I've just had this horrible feeling that I could have changed everything if I'd just stood up for myself and stood my ground.

sleeping has been really difficult lately as well, I'm having these two recurring dreams. one about a fireworks night a while ago where the two guys who abused me basically put a firework in me and lit it and another time where he tied me up overnight and I can't express how much pain my wrists were in. plus it was freezing cold because I had no clothes on. I feel embarassed to write those. ashamed of myself even and I know that's exactly how you're not meant to feel.

everything's so realistic in my dreams that it just feels like although that part of my life is behind me it's just never going to end.
Now it feels like not only did I let myself in for it then but that I do it to myself again now. I feel like I deserve for it still to be happening, and I kind of want it to so I still have an excuse to feel like I do when I should just be moving on and letting it go. It's just been such an huge thing in my life that I don't know how to be happy any more. I don't know who I would be if it hadn't all happened. I feel lost. I feel like it's just who I am, that it's what defines so many parts of me and I don't want to be that person. I just want to be a normal person.

If anyone actually read that then thanks, I just want someone to hear me and I don't feel like I can talk like this to any of my friends. Thanks again.
Hugs and all that ****, firstly :jumphug:
Put a firework _in_ you? That sounds like something from the Marquis De Sade. It is, in fact Maybe get some sleeping pills and have hot milk and stuff before bed?
Also, you're a lovely person, I'm sure. I'm really rubbish at consoling people I don't know, but if you're ever in Mid-Somerset, we can go for a cup of coffee if you want I'm sure you're really nice

Jess
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6216
Report 10 years ago
#6216
(Original post by QuantumTheory)
Let's not argue now, children.

Go, be depressed!
way to make me madder. do you need to be that offensive?
0
QuantumTheory
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6217
Report 10 years ago
#6217
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
way to make me madder. do you need to be that offensive?
It was sarcastic, and trying to stop the spam by keeping ontopic.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6218
Report 10 years ago
#6218
(Original post by death.drop)

sleeping has been really difficult lately as well, I'm having these two recurring dreams. one about a fireworks night a while ago where the two guys who abused me basically put a firework in me and lit it and another time where he tied me up overnight and I can't express how much pain my wrists were in. plus it was freezing cold because I had no clothes on. I feel embarassed to write those. ashamed of myself even and I know that's exactly how you're not meant to feel.
why did someone tie you up over night? I don't understand how you got in to any of the situations you've described.
0
vapid slut magician
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6219
Report 10 years ago
#6219
(Original post by QuantumTheory)
It was sarcastic, and trying to stop the spam by keeping ontopic.
that's what the report button is for
0
QuantumTheory
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6220
Report 10 years ago
#6220
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
why did someone tie you up over night? I don't understand how you got in to any of the situations you've described.
It was in her dream
0
X
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you registered to vote?

Yes! (278)
38.03%
No - but I will (53)
7.25%
No - I don't want to (53)
7.25%
No - I can't vote (<18, not in UK, etc) (347)
47.47%

Watched Threads

View All