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    Ughh, pregnancy has started to properly kick in, trying to sit at my desk and lesson plan etc but feeling so damn ill
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    I feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one panicking!

    I still feel like a PGCE newbie yet I have just 2 weeks placement + 2 weeks central SCITT training left. How is this?!

    My folder is a complete shambles and my mentor has asked to have a look at it next week (she is just being helpful but I am embarrassed to show her how useless I am!)

    I still haven't got any job applications in (and I'm painfully aware that before long new jobs will stop coming up on TES).

    I'm mentally and physically exhausted but I have one last 'big' observation to plan for. It's like I'm terrified the course is ending soon and yet it can't end soon enough! I know that makes no sense.
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    Thanks for the responses telling me not to worry :') I had an email and a text from my mentor telling me not to be embarrassed and not to stress. It happens, people get sick and try to work through it and just can't...

    2 weeks till half term, 4,000 word curriculum essay to write and then 3 weeks of school after half term.

    Less than two months till my NQT year starts... I've been given a July contract though so they must have faith in me if they're willing to pay me over the summer!
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    Staying in a hotel because I have uni tomorrow and I'm too tired for the commute. Of course the wifi isn't working so I can't do any work or apply for jobs on my night off. Called the wifi company and it's a major server fault and they don't think it'll be resolved any time soon.

    I don't want to go to uni tomorrow either. My anxiety has gone insane and I'm feeling just miserable and overwhelmed. I think I need to ask for help
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    Staying in a hotel because I have uni tomorrow and I'm too tired for the commute. Of course the wifi isn't working so I can't do any work or apply for jobs on my night off. Called the wifi company and it's a major server fault and they don't think it'll be resolved any time soon.

    I don't want to go to uni tomorrow either. My anxiety has gone insane and I'm feeling just miserable and overwhelmed. I think I need to ask for help
    Aww I hate technology sometimes! The number of mornings I've gone in early especially and nothing has worked anyway -_-.

    I think a key skill is knowing when to ask for help if you need it and admitting it is half the battle. Can you talk to a tutor tomorrow at uni? Someone you can trust to take you seriously? There's not long left and you perhaps just need a little pick me up or a couple of days off to recharge and calm down. I know my friend who did her PGCE last year got quite unwell with stress and was signed off for two weeks. I don't think that's normal by any means but it certainly helped.

    I am feeling anxious tonight too. I think it is because of this exam marking I have stupidly agreed to do. I can't see how I can mark 380 scripts in three weeks alongside teaching. £1000 doesn't sound like much to compensate for that much stress. My mentor said you can back out at any point though so I will probably start it and go to the training meeting (training for my CV plus you get £20 per hour for going!) and see what happens. I am getting anxious with anticipation though!
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    I still have five weeks to go of placement - feels like a bloody lifetime. The day I finish will the best day ever. There's a 24 hour Macdonalds on my 35 mile journey to my placement, and I've always said I'll have a leisurely breakfast there on my last commute as a kind of celebration, whereas usually I'm way too tired, late and/or anxious to think about breakfast.
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    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    Staying in a hotel because I have uni tomorrow and I'm too tired for the commute. Of course the wifi isn't working so I can't do any work or apply for jobs on my night off. Called the wifi company and it's a major server fault and they don't think it'll be resolved any time soon.

    I don't want to go to uni tomorrow either. My anxiety has gone insane and I'm feeling just miserable and overwhelmed. I think I need to ask for help
    That sounds awful Internet always goes down when you need it most! Don't feel ashamed about asking for help. This course is insane and I think it's normal to feel overwhelmed at times.

    When I qualify I'm putting a sign on my door that has a picture from finding nemo and the caption 'just keep swimming!' Best advice I can imagine for the PGCE (or anything really)
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    (Original post by Airfairy)
    Aww I hate technology sometimes! The number of mornings I've gone in early especially and nothing has worked anyway -_-.

    I think a key skill is knowing when to ask for help if you need it and admitting it is half the battle. Can you talk to a tutor tomorrow at uni? Someone you can trust to take you seriously? There's not long left and you perhaps just need a little pick me up or a couple of days off to recharge and calm down. I know my friend who did her PGCE last year got quite unwell with stress and was signed off for two weeks. I don't think that's normal by any means but it certainly helped.

    I am feeling anxious tonight too. I think it is because of this exam marking I have stupidly agreed to do. I can't see how I can mark 380 scripts in three weeks alongside teaching. £1000 doesn't sound like much to compensate for that much stress. My mentor said you can back out at any point though so I will probably start it and go to the training meeting (training for my CV plus you get £20 per hour for going!) and see what happens. I am getting anxious with anticipation though!
    I have an anxiety disorder (and a personality disorder and OCD too) so I have an access agreement at the uni about being approached and offered help because I find it really hard to admit to struggling. My OCD stops me from showing less than perfect work so there's worry that my folders aren't okay when they are actually okay but they're not _perfect_ so I don't want them seen. I'll drop into disability services tomorrow. I'm considering disclosing to the school for these last few weeks to just make sure I'm getting everything polished. I'm fine unless I'm stressed, when I'm stressed I just can't ask for help. I don't feel very supported by uni at all which is ironic since they're so quick to shout at us when we need to go further with our differentiation.

    I think I'm just going to get into bed and sleep.

    Just do what you can do with your marking. Nothing is worth stressing you out and your pgce should come first. My cousin marks them too and it's surprising how many you can get through in a short amount of time. It gets to a point where it's just automatic.
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    Standard sunday night dread has kicked in, just have to remind myself that every day that i do is the last day of that particular part of the timetable that I ever have to do.....
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    (Original post by Ratchit99)
    Standard sunday night dread has kicked in, just have to remind myself that every day that i do is the last day of that particular part of the timetable that I ever have to do.....
    I love teaching and still get stressed on Sunday nights, can only imagine how difficult it must be if you don't enjoy it.
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    (Original post by alabelle)
    I love teaching and still get stressed on Sunday nights, can only imagine how difficult it must be if you don't enjoy it.
    I think I just worry that my lessons arent going to be good, so dread a monday with potential for failure, once ive got monday out the way i get back into the swing of it but mondays are just like crap what will this week bring....
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    (Original post by alabelle)
    I love teaching and still get stressed on Sunday nights, can only imagine how difficult it must be if you don't enjoy it.
    My neighbour at work has been teaching for 30 years and still says the theme tune to the Antiques Roadshow makes him feel ill :lol:
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    (Original post by rachel.h)
    My neighbour at work has been teaching for 30 years and still says the theme tune to the Antiques Roadshow makes him feel ill :lol:
    I share his pain. One of my friends who retired two years ago tells me that even when you have stopped, it takes a long time to stop feeling like this. Doctors call it Readjustment Syndrome, apparently.
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    (Original post by Ratchit99)
    I think I just worry that my lessons arent going to be good, so dread a monday with potential for failure, once ive got monday out the way i get back into the swing of it but mondays are just like crap what will this week bring....
    I feel the same! I always end each week feeling really positive about what the next one will be like but by Sunday im like... But what if this week I'm worse.

    (Original post by rachel.h)
    My neighbour at work has been teaching for 30 years and still says the theme tune to the Antiques Roadshow makes him feel ill :lol:
    Not sure whether to laugh or feel worried at this!
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    (Original post by alabelle)


    Not sure whether to laugh or feel worried at this!
    In teaching, you laugh. If you don't laugh, you cry.
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    I'm sick of this career. I'm just having bad day after bad day. I get home and work until I go to sleep.

    I have an interview this Wednesday but I'm not even worried anymore because I think I've lost the desire to go into teaching completely. There was a strand there but it's pretty much disappeared. No more job applications for me.

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    (Original post by rachel.h)
    In teaching, you laugh. If you don't laugh, you cry.
    This is very true!

    (Original post by Airfairy)
    I'm sick of this career. I'm just having bad day after bad day. I get home and work until I go to sleep.

    I have an interview this Wednesday but I'm not even worried anymore because I think I've lost the desire to go into teaching completely. There was a strand there but it's pretty much disappeared. No more job applications for me.


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    I've stopped applying for jobs too. I can't see myself passing this course despite how much I try. There is improvement each week but it's not happening fast enough and I'm really bloody tired! I love teaching but it's the relentless marking, planning and providing evidence that gets me down. I could cope with this if my teaching was good, but that is actually the part I need to improve on.

    What are you disliking about the course right now?
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    This is all very sad.
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    (Original post by alabelle)
    This is very true!



    I've stopped applying for jobs too. I can't see myself passing this course despite how much I try. There is improvement each week but it's not happening fast enough and I'm really bloody tired! I love teaching but it's the relentless marking, planning and providing evidence that gets me down. I could cope with this if my teaching was good, but that is actually the part I need to improve on.

    What are you disliking about the course right now?
    The workload. The fact that you can spend hours planning what you think is an amazing lesson only for the pupils to throw it in your face and not give a damn. Constant targets that I never seem to achieve anymore. I'm not improving. People giving me work all the time. My mentor said to me today that she wants me to write a 12 lesson scheme of work for next week. That's all well and good but when exactly can I do that?! I literally get home and do work. I eat my tea whilst being on the laptop. I get up an hour earlier than I need to in order to do extra work at school.

    I am sick of it. My friend has a voucher for a pub that he needs to use within two weeks and he was asking me when I can go. I literally can't think of a day I can go. I don't want a career where I can't even make time to go out with a friend.

    I'll pass the course, I'm sure. But I don't care about what grade anymore and I don't care about this profession. I think it is noticeable in my teaching too. I've lost my spark. I don't have time to plan amazing lessons.
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    (Original post by Airfairy)
    The workload. The fact that you can spend hours planning what you think is an amazing lesson only for the pupils to throw it in your face and not give a damn. Constant targets that I never seem to achieve anymore. I'm not improving. People giving me work all the time. My mentor said to me today that she wants me to write a 12 lesson scheme of work for next week. That's all well and good but when exactly can I do that?! I literally get home and do work. I eat my tea whilst being on the laptop. I get up an hour earlier than I need to in order to do extra work at school.

    I am sick of it. My friend has a voucher for a pub that he needs to use within two weeks and he was asking me when I can go. I literally can't think of a day I can go. I don't want a career where I can't even make time to go out with a friend.

    I'll pass the course, I'm sure. But I don't care about what grade anymore and I don't care about this profession. I think it is noticeable in my teaching too. I've lost my spark. I don't have time to plan amazing lessons.
    I could have written this myself (minus the scheme of work). I start school at 7:45am, come home at 4:30pm and work right up until bedtime. Just yesterday I had to turn down a friend's party, which I'd told her I would be going to, because I had too much work to do. I was hoping to be done by 9pm but was up until 10:30pm finishing just to be prepared for today.

    I'm lucky enough to have an amazing mentor who is breaking everything down into baby steps for me. Unfortunately my uni mentor thinks I am progressing too slowly and I'm still not of the standard where I would pass the course. I only have 4 weeks left too. I'm really worried that I will finish this year with nothing to show for it :/

    I received some feedback today, which said 'make lessons more interesting for children'. It's really disheartening when you are trying so hard to do exactly that.

    What do you think you will do if you don't teach?
 
 
 
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