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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i got engrossed in outnumbered last night, but not sure if its on tonight
    dont know what to dooo

    my mums going soon
    Shawshank redemption is on, that's a good film.

    Hope you feel a bit better later on.
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    (Original post by james1211)
    Shawshank redemption is on, that's a good film.

    Hope you feel a bit better later on.
    cant watch anything slightly scary, especially when home alone
    paranoia becomes rife just at silly things
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    cant watch anything slightly scary, especially when home alone
    paranoia becomes rife just at silly things
    Ah ok.

    I'm watching a peter kay standup at 9. Not my favourite close to home comedian but not far off.
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    (Original post by james1211)
    Ah ok.

    I'm watching a peter kay standup at 9. Not my favourite close to home comedian but not far off.
    love peter kay <3

    im currently hiding in my house :ninja:
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    I really don't know why I bother.

    literally wasting away, so fed up of life right now, can't do anything right either.

    part of me just wants to do something stupid cause at least that means doing something I can actually do without it going wrong or not working.

    just urgh, probably won't even be allowed to post this cause apparently all my posts have something stupid in them and I don't even know anymore.

    can't even trust myself to do anything anymore.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    I really don't know why I bother.

    literally wasting away, so fed up of life right now, can't do anything right either.

    part of me just wants to do something stupid cause at least that means doing something I can actually do without it going wrong or not working.

    just urgh, probably won't even be allowed to post this cause apparently all my posts have something stupid in them and I don't even know anymore.

    can't even trust myself to do anything anymore.
    Maybe you need some new experience in your life to spice things up. I know when I start something new and exciting it's all my mind seems to stay on.

    Doesn't have to be anything major, we just started playing tennis on the free outside courts at my park. Racquet was a tenner and balls are 3 for a quid. Very addictive.

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    On the last full day of my holiday, I'm finally feeling the best I have since I got rejected! I think I'm over it!

    However, there's been something that's been bothering me for a while; I've always been serious, and a bit of a cautious cat. I think it's around time that I loosened up a bit and showed that I can be a fun, happy person when I want to be; is this a good idea, or will it look quite fake and forced?
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    (Original post by james1211)
    Maybe you need some new experience in your life to spice things up. I know when I start something new and exciting it's all my mind seems to stay on.

    Doesn't have to be anything major, we just started playing tennis on the free outside courts at my park. Racquet was a tenner and balls are 3 for a quid. Very addictive.

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    new experiences just tend to make me panic and then I get in a right mess of a state so probably not a good idea, specially if they mean going outside cause then my anxiety sky rockets.

    I suck at tennis/sports cause of my dyspraxia and my ear...not to mention I have NOBODY to play with and I can't make new friends cause being around people I know right now I just panic a ton and have to go home.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    new experiences just tend to make me panic and then I get in a right mess of a state so probably not a good idea, specially if they mean going outside cause then my anxiety sky rockets.

    I suck at tennis/sports cause of my dyspraxia and my ear...not to mention I have NOBODY to play with and I can't make new friends cause being around people I know right now I just panic a ton and have to go home.
    If you had people to go out with and something to do you were good at, do you think you'd still get anxious?

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    (Original post by james1211)
    If you had people to go out with and something to do you were good at, do you think you'd still get anxious?

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    it's not as bad/more manageable normally when I am with people I know but I have like no friends nearby (well one or two but I gave up asking them if they wanted to hang out cause they were always busy (i.e. just didn't want near me)), basically other than when my girlfriend visits (LDR) I have nobody who I could do anything with anyway.

    can't really do anything else either right now, can't even go shops anymore without feeling really really anxious to the point where I look ill to other people and just have to go home.

    just dunno what to do, I'm just too crap to do anything I guess.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    I'm just too crap to do anything I guess.
    :lovehug:

    you know your not crap at everything.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Dimples

    :lovehug:
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    Thanks to everyone who replied regarding the DSA and stuff :hugs:

    Really wish I could sleep so some of the ****ness could go away for a bit. I'm so exhausted and bleugh and I feel really dead inside and my brain has just stopped working and it's so hard to even vaguely pretend that things are ok for even one tiny amount of time. I'm so pissed off that nothing's even a tiny bit easy anymore. Everything just works so slowly and I feel so dead. Went to the local shop where I used to work this afternoon cause literally have no food cause everythings gone off cause I haven't really eaten for days. And it took me an hour to get changed and i'd been crying all morning and in a really ****ty way but I told myself to put on a brave face for just two minutes and pretend everything was ok. my two old colleagues (obviously) were in there. One of them took a double take when she saw me and straight away asked if I was ok. said I was fine and she gave me a hug anyway. the other asked if I was sure and said I was moving really slowly. i cant even pretened things are okay for a few ****ing seconds. what is the point I am so awful and useless and nothing works and im so frustrated I need a release but only bad ones actually work. I don't even know what to do any more. feel like my life has been taken away from me so whats the point.
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    Paranoia getting worse. Think theres spmeone outside. Boyfriends internet isnt working so cant skype.
    Hiding in room with music on cant leave roo



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    I've always been terrified of using phones, especially when I have no idea what I'm meant to say (I used to write out scripts with every possible combination of questions and answers I could think of!). But today I have stumbled my way through about 30 separate conversations while trying to sort out insurance (my wife is making me do it god only knows why), and actually it really wasn't all that bad. I'm feeling really pleased with myself right now. :proud:

    (Original post by RedBlossom)
    I get what you mean. I'm terrible for putting things off until I can get into a routine of doing it.
    Hmm... Everything else aside, essentially you're going to be round a load of cute animals for the day. I would see that as something to look forward to
    If you're worried about how many other volunteers are going to be there, maybe call up the shelter and work out which days they might be low on volunteers to make sure you'll be kept busy for the day.
    I'm the same as you with buses so I'm not much help with suggestions there >_< But the walk home gives you time to reflect on the fact that you made it there.
    The more you go, the easier it'll get :wink2:
    Thanks for the reply. Your last sentence was what my psychologist told me It's just going those first few times that is the problem. Phoning them up is actually a pretty good idea, thanks for that - especially as I can now use phones relatively easily, I can ask what day they most need volunteers and it'll reflect well on me too!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I've always been terrified of using phones, especially when I have no idea what I'm meant to say (I used to write out scripts with every possible combination of questions and answers I could think of!). But today I have stumbled my way through about 30 separate conversations while trying to sort out insurance (my wife is making me do it god only knows why), and actually it really wasn't all that bad. I'm feeling really pleased with myself right now. :proud:
    Well done! Telephone conversations are horrible :|
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    (Original post by james1211)
    Well done! Telephone conversations are horrible :|
    Thanks.

    How're you?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Thanks.

    How're you?
    Alright today thanks, apart from having bad backache and a ton of admin work to do :erm: Subdueing the anxiety alright as it stands...

    I used to be terrified of using the phone. I once had to ring British Airways when I was 14 to get flight data for a flight my godfather had booked armed with little to no information. Scary. Afterwards though when I realised it's just a person on the other end and they're just gonna treat it like any other conversation I think i had a total change of heart. Weird what the one phonecall did throwing me in the deep end i guess.
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    (Original post by james1211)
    Alright today thanks, apart from having bad backache and a ton of admin work to do :erm: Subdueing the anxiety alright as it stands...

    I used to be terrified of using the phone. I once had to ring British Airways when I was 14 to get flight data for a flight my godfather had booked armed with little to no information. Scary. Afterwards though when I realised it's just a person on the other end and they're just gonna treat it like any other conversation I think i had a total change of heart. Weird what the one phonecall did throwing me in the deep end i guess.
    Could you take a bath? I do that when my back hurts and it seems to help.

    Yeah I'm not sure getting thrown in at the deep end is such a good tactic, you either mess it up and become terrified of phones for life or you survive and everything is good. Only the first one is quite bad. You're right it's just another person on the other end - today I must have been told to "have a nice day" at least 20times and it never got old - I definitely prefer calling Americans over Brits.
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    Really freaking now.
    Brains playing tricks and creating senarios in my head

    Just want to cry.

    Im 21 for **** sale not 12. I should be able to be left at home on my own with out getting ridiculously anxious :cry2:


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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Could you take a bath? I do that when my back hurts and it seems to help.

    Yeah I'm not sure getting thrown in at the deep end is such a good tactic, you either mess it up and become terrified of phones for life or you survive and everything is good. Only the first one is quite bad. You're right it's just another person on the other end - today I must have been told to "have a nice day" at least 20times and it never got old - I definitely prefer calling Americans over Brits.
    Could do. Some Radox never hurts.

    You know something, when I went to America what instantly struck me was how nice and polite people who work in public relations/customer support/retail etc are. Everyone there seemed beyond happy despite working menial jobs, something we lack in the UK.
 
 
 
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