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    just in complete despair about what to do. this is completely ****ing brutal. I am fighting for breath and I know its not even asthma. is anxiety related but I don't really feel anxious, just hyperventilating. which means that meds don't even help. It never really goes away. ADs don't help with it either. its not some sort of cognitive thing going on, im not worried, this apparently is just what my body does. is this it, now? is this as good as it gets? cause I don't wanna be a part of it anymore.
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    pushing everyone away cause I don't care anymore & I am just sick of people being caring about me when I don't deserve any of it.
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    really scared. **** this
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    pushing everyone away cause I don't care anymore & I am just sick of people being caring about me when I don't deserve any of it.
    what's going on? :console:


    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    really scared. **** this
    do you want to PM? :console:
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    what's going on? :console:
    huge mood swings...beginning to worry about it so much so

    last few days;

    half the day I feel fine, my mood is good, I have positive thoughts about the future.

    the other half of the day I feel awful, my mood is incredibly low, I have hugely negative feelings about the future.

    makes it hard to know what I think or feel & means I don't know if I want people to care or not, it's confusing
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    (Original post by moment of truth)
    Sometimes going out is good, clear your head and have a change, although it obviously isn't good if you end up feeling worse.

    If you were feeling terrible when taking your exams then it is understandable that you didn't do very well, well done on your A2 psych result and getting a first obviously shows that you are clever It is hard not to take opinions like that to heart, especially if it is someone close to you.

    I always try my best but sometimes it isn't good enough. Gonna try and make sure that I do better than I did last year though.

    Yeah, probably isn't a great idea to watch it then. I don't really know, but I watch a lot of Netflix so just end up watching that really. What about you? Same with you too :hugs:

    thank you and yeah it definitely is. i dunno my dad and i...we aren't close. he's abusive. but i still care for some bizarre reason. :dontknow:
    trying your best is all you need to do! and you will do better than last year. :yep: did your friend get back to you?

    i really should get netflix at some point..everyones always going on about it! i waste a lot of time on youtube watching let's plays. :P i dont really care for tv haha. but gaming, gaming i could game alllllllll day. (and yeah....stereotypical "girly" ****, like makeup videos too. but ehh, mainly let's plays nowadays. )

    [completely forgot to hit send on this o_o]

    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    huge mood swings...beginning to worry about it so much so

    last few days;

    half the day I feel fine, my mood is good, I have positive thoughts about the future.

    the other half of the day I feel awful, my mood is incredibly low, I have hugely negative feelings about the future.

    makes it hard to know what I think or feel & means I don't know if I want people to care or not, it's confusing
    that sounds awful. has anything in particular set it off? med changes? have you told your doctor? :hugs: if there's anything i can do please let me know. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    that sounds awful. has anything in particular set it off? med changes? have you told your doctor? :hugs: if there's anything i can do please let me know. :hugs:
    not really, I am feeling more stressed though I guess? my med review isn't till next month (the appointment last week was just to determine if i needed one or not in the end). not sure is anything anyone can do to help right now, some kind of coping mechanism when I get down would be good but I dunno. thank you for the replies though :hugs: I see the GP in a couple of weeks & therapy on Thursday so hopefully both of them will help as well!
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    what's going on? :console:




    do you want to PM? :console:
    too scared but thanks. hope youre ok
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    not really, I am feeling more stressed though I guess? my med review isn't till next month (the appointment last week was just to determine if i needed one or not in the end). not sure is anything anyone can do to help right now, some kind of coping mechanism when I get down would be good but I dunno. thank you for the replies though :hugs: I see the GP in a couple of weeks & therapy on Thursday so hopefully both of them will help as well!
    possibly try and create a new coping mechanism with your therapist on thursday? :hugs: wish i could be of more use. if talking about what's stressing you would help, you know i'm here. not entirely sure if sleeps on my agenda for tonight...so will be here.

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    too scared but thanks. hope youre ok
    :console: stay safe
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    possibly try and create a new coping mechanism with your therapist on thursday? :hugs: wish i could be of more use. if talking about what's stressing you would help, you know i'm here. not entirely sure if sleeps on my agenda for tonight...so will be here.
    maybe, can't hurt to ask them at least I guess! that's okay, replies on here do help so thank you :hugs: hope you manage to sleep!
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    :hugs: for everyone tonight :yep:

    I wish I could sleep, my first exam is in a week and I'm so scared I'm going to fail. there's so much pressure on me because this is a resist year I need to do well


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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    maybe, can't hurt to ask them at least I guess! that's okay, replies on here do help so thank you :hugs: hope you manage to sleep!
    not sure if i will, too anxious. have counselling tomorrow, don't want to go.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    not sure if i will, too anxious. have counselling tomorrow, don't want to go.
    :console: does counselling normally help you? if so it might be good to go if you feel able to!
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    (Original post by Jean-Luc Picard)
    :console: does counselling normally help you? if so it might be good to go if you feel able to!
    not particularly, but it's the only thing i can access atm (it's from the university). my ex careco (waiting for a formal handover haha) said trauma based therapy would be more appropriate, and my current counsellor can't really deal with multiple traumas i guess?? like she talks about things like "safe" places, and i can't even understand what "safe" is as a concept (literally nowhere/no one was safe when i was a kid) - she knows this now though. but it's good in the sense that i have a place i can go and talk about things...she has said she doesnt mind working with me til the end of the year (normally would only be 6 weeks long, and i've had 11 weeks so far i think). we've tried new coping mechanisms to help with grounding, but lately they've not been working at all. don't know what to do. feel stupid for complaining when she's trying her best to help me. don't deserve her help..

    CMHT referred me to a clinical psychologist, but still haven't heard anything back from them, so not entirely sure what's going on there. :dontknow:
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    I'm just beginning to come to terms with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years and it is crushing me. Horrific night. It just can't have happened to me
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    (Original post by TheTipsyTarsier)
    I'm just beginning to come to terms with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years and it is crushing me. Horrific night. It just can't have happened to me
    :jumphug:

    ----------------------------------------------------

    Today is my last full day of secondary school (if all goes well during the exams and I completely don't fail). I know today everyone will be sad and it'll be even worse tomorrow, but I don't care. I just want it to be over and done with.

    It could be also that I'm getting horrible thoughts, mood swings, I keep getting spaced out and forgetting things (I always freak out half way through the day because I've forgotten that I actually have taken my medication) and to top it all off, I'm so freaking done with caring about anything. People keep bothering me about things that they can figure out themselves and it's aggravating me so much (Last night a prime example with one of my friends texting me questions about A Level Religion when he easily could have gotten the answers himself off the specification.)

    The thing is though, I know I should tell people how I'm feeling, that nothing is getting better, even tell my daddy, but I can't bring myself to do so. It feels like I'm wasting their time or that I'm not worth it, or that it's all in my mind.

    (I've also lost weight, goddamnit. I've dropped a jean size. Jesus wept, this is ridiculous.)
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    feeling awful today and like i might not pass my course. my uni tutor is looking at extending my placement to make sure i meet it all but my school are just confused as to what's going on and why this is even happening.

    sobbed at my school course coordinator and it was super embarrassing snotty sobbing. i'm just so tired and sick of failing when i'm working so hard
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    Feel really miserable today, so I'm skiving sixth form. Don't wanna leave the house or see anyone

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    (Original post by TheTipsyTarsier)
    I'm just beginning to come to terms with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship for 10 years and it is crushing me. Horrific night. It just can't have happened to me
    Are you out of it now? :console: Remember you can still move forward from this, and your past doesn't have to dictate your future.

    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    feeling awful today and like i might not pass my course. my uni tutor is looking at extending my placement to make sure i meet it all but my school are just confused as to what's going on and why this is even happening.

    sobbed at my school course coordinator and it was super embarrassing snotty sobbing. i'm just so tired and sick of failing when i'm working so hard
    :hugs: I have every faith in you. :lovehug:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Are you out of it now? :console: Remember you can still move forward from this, and your past doesn't have to dictate your future.
    Yeah I've been out for a month. It's just hard to imagine ever being over it and feeling better. Every day is exhausting the paranoia, watching everywhere for him. I can't go home, I've been staying in people's houses for a month because I just can't face going back to my village. Even booked a holiday alone the other day for Sunday. Booked it on a whim and now I'm like....'omg what have I done I'm going to Barcelona alone on Sunday' whaaaa
 
 
 
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