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    (Original post by 05autyt)
    Ok I really need help, I'm panicking so so much :'(
    I've got a place to study Primary Education at Durham University starting at the end of September. Part of me is so excited, I've worked so hard for this. but there are multiple things that are really beginning to worry me.
    The first is that Durham is such a high pressure university and I am already a perfectionist. I am scared that the pressure is going to make my mental health problems worse.
    Secondly I am really not sure if I want uni entirely for the right reasons. One of the things that excites me the most is that I get to control my own food, which for me, being honest will probably equate to not buying any food at all. And this prospect really excites me, as does the fact that I will literally live next door to the gym so can go all the time, easily. Which is obviously really bad for my ED... but I do really want to be a teacher and make a difference to kids lives, and I dont want anything to jepordise that although I realise that if I indulge my ED that itself will jepordise it ... I just don't think I am anywhere near strong enough to ignore the ED at the minute. I've only had a few PWP sessions..
    Which leads me to my 3rd worry. All my treatment will have to end, and it might take ages to get it again, and to be honest it took me so long to trust my doctor and the PWP that I've only just started being honest with them .. so all this will be messed up with a new doctor etc, and I dont really want anyone to know at my uni. I want a fresh start.
    The last and biggest worry came today, all students on the primary ed course have to fill in an occupational health questionnaire, and it says at the top that you have to be honest, and that if the information is found to be untrue you can be terminated from training. There are a number of questions on this that are causing me problems. Because I dont want them to chuck me off the course before I've even started .. I need this. One is have you ever been treated in hospital, if yes please give reasons and dates .. about a month ago I ended up in hospital after doing a really bad thing we arent meant to talk about on here. I can hardly put that down can I... it also says have you seen a doctor and been treated for anything in the past year .. I have loads for ED and depression :/ It also says are you currently having any treatment which I guess is my PWP and referral to AN services. It also asks if you have ever suffered from mental health problems .. what and when .. im really scared if I put depression and ED down to present they wont let me on, but I cant lie, I just dont know what to do..
    Please someone help.. any advice would be appreciated so much, I'm so panicky right now. Thanks
    I know it's scary to write it all down and let them know but I think it should be okay (and if you don't, you risk getting thrown off the course, like you said). Have you ever asked your GP (or whoever you see about your depression/ED) if they consider you are fit to practice as a teacher? I recently had to declare depression to my regulatory body (health profession) and they investigated but once they spoke to my GP it was all fine.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    No they said i can claim extenuating for the resit period but its not been cleared and given to me yet, deadline was friday so should find out this week i guess


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    Good Luck!!!
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    ahh just came off the phone to samaritans, feeling peaceful now, not as depressed. lovely lady spoke to me.
    I've often thought about ringing them but been too scared to, since i get kinda scared of phonecalls; making them and receiving them. It's good to hear they are helpful though, i might try give them a ring next time im feeling crap. Glad to hear you're feeling better!

    (Original post by IDukem)
    Every once in a while I take a step back (as in thinking/general and not necessarily regressing) and just think "what's going on? What do I do now?"
    I might whirl up another journal and actually try to stick to it this time as the last one was on and off for two months It'd be nice too as this year (August 2013 - August 2014) will see many changes and i'd like to to back on them changes in the future But I won't promise myself i'll do it though cause I probably won't
    Perhaps try to write something only once every few days, maybe even once a week if you struggle. I know that i can never keep up writing a journal or diary, ill write a bunch of things when having a few bad days, then not write for a whole month >_< i hope you manage to keep one going, because it sure helps!

    When I've looked back on how bad i have been and how i am better now, it does boost my confidence, since i can really see how I've changed. That said though, a lot of things i have written in the past scare me, i can't believe some of the thoughts and feelings I've had in the past :cry:

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    Had a good day yesterday but feeling rubbish again today I probably shouldn't have come on TSR because people (not on this thread) being smarmy about their great degrees/universities/careers/lives sets me off big time. (My education/career is a sore spot for me, as I do think without certain events beyond my control happening I would be where these people are in life etc, whereas my chance at life got ruined instead, probably because I deserve it).
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    Perhaps try to write something only once every few days, maybe even once a week if you struggle. I know that i can never keep up writing a journal or diary, ill write a bunch of things when having a few bad days, then not write for a whole month >_< i hope you manage to keep one going, because it sure helps!

    When I've looked back on how bad i have been and how i am better now, it does boost my confidence, since i can really see how I've changed. That said though, a lot of things i have written in the past scare me, i can't believe some of the thoughts and feelings I've had in the past :cry:

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    It was an experimental thing back then (inspired by Nikki Sixx: The Heroin Diaries) so I did day-to-day, every few days etc. It did work at times because it made me unleash negative energy into typing things out. Oddly enough, when I started feeling brighter, my activity on the thing decreased. But I wouldn't want to just use it as a place to "fill up with bad thoughts and feelings", I want to fill some of it up with good things so I can see how my mood had changed depending on various circumstances.

    I haven't looked back on my journal (well word document), but I can remember some days where it was like a page long due to many activities and stuff happening and then others being like 3 lines long :lol: But yeah i'll try it up again but I think i'll start on September 1st as that's a great time to start it up

    Thanks for your help though I hope all is well with you!
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    (Original post by sadpanda123)
    Had a good day yesterday but feeling rubbish again today I probably shouldn't have come on TSR because people (not on this thread) being smarmy about their great degrees/universities/careers/lives sets me off big time. (My education/career is a sore spot for me, as I do think without certain events beyond my control happening I would be where these people are in life etc, whereas my chance at life got ruined instead, probably because I deserve it).
    As you say, if some things didn't happen that were beyond your control, you would be where they are.

    Some of us are lucky, some of us are unlucky, i just think that's how it goes. But even if we are dealt a bad hand, we can still do pretty well if we play those cards right. I hope that makes sense lol, sorry if its a bad analogy.

    Remember that those people who are being all smarmy won't have the problems you have, you have an unfair disadvantage, and it makes everything a lot harder. If they had your problems they may have collapsed under everything by now, but you're still here, trying to compete on their level despite everything. That take a lot of strength :hugs:

    (Original post by IDukem)
    It was an experimental thing back then (inspired by Nikki Sixx: The Heroin Diaries) so I did day-to-day, every few days etc. It did work at times because it made me unleash negative energy into typing things out. Oddly enough, when I started feeling brighter, my activity on the thing decreased. But I wouldn't want to just use it as a place to "fill up with bad thoughts and feelings", I want to fill some of it up with good things so I can see how my mood had changed depending on various circumstances.

    I haven't looked back on my journal (well word document), but I can remember some days where it was like a page long due to many activities and stuff happening and then others being like 3 lines long :lol: But yeah i'll try it up again but I think i'll start on September 1st as that's a great time to start it up

    Thanks for your help though I hope all is well with you!
    Thanks, I've been better, but been a lot worse! x)

    I also found when i started feeling better i wrote less and less, guess it makes sense since u don't need it as much

    And yes, write good things as well as bad! It helps when you can start seeing more positives if its only filled with bad stuff, you will want to avoid it.

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    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    (Original post by avhhs)
    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    Congratulations!
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    Congrats! I hope it is confirmed soon and that you have fun getting ready for uni.
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    I need to get my cook on, no idea why but I find it boosts my confidence and mood more than pretty much anything else

    (Original post by avhhs)
    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    Congrats man! That sounds wonderful

    (Original post by Sarah')
    Thanks guys :hugs:. Yeah, I managed to get it sorted out in the end . Actually sat in a skype call right now . I just hate when little bits like this happen, as my time left talking to him seems very short now. So the last thing I need is mini arguments and stuff. But thank you
    :woo: That's excellent news, well done!
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    I've often thought about ringing them but been too scared to, since i get kinda scared of phonecalls; making them and receiving them. It's good to hear they are helpful though, i might try give them a ring next time im feeling crap]
    But you might speak to me, and I am lovely and nothing to be scared of

    But seriously, I appreciate why you are hesitant. I am not particularly confident with phones myself, despite being a Samaritan.

    Do you know you can text, email and write to Samaritans instead? I don't know if you'd find this easier.
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    (Original post by Sarah')
    Well deal with it, because I am proud!

    Yeahhh, I am . I've missed you too hun! :penguinhug:



    Hey! . I'm actually in a fairly good place... The bad days seem to be getting more manageable, and the good days are really good . How are you lovely? :jumphug:

    IDUKEM!!!!! :jumphug: hey you
    Really glad to hear that :hugs:
    I'm not doing very well generally, my mind seems quite clouded and confused at the moment so things are difficult. I'm hoping that university will give me a new start though, so things aren't all bad :yep:
    :penguinhug:
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    Congratulations :party:
    I'm so pleased for you!
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    (Original post by tasha96)
    No sleep again. Have appointment in three hours am panicking so much right now. :sigh: Going to have to do difficult questions on no sleep. Not going to be much fun. I really really don't want to go. :cry2:
    Hope it went okay hun :yep: :penguinhug:
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    (Original post by sadpanda123)
    I know it's scary to write it all down and let them know but I think it should be okay (and if you don't, you risk getting thrown off the course, like you said). Have you ever asked your GP (or whoever you see about your depression/ED) if they consider you are fit to practice as a teacher? I recently had to declare depression to my regulatory body (health profession) and they investigated but once they spoke to my GP it was all fine.
    Yeah, after talking to a few people on here and my therapist today, I think I'm going to be honest but just leave off the hospital stay for thing we aren't allowed to talk about.
    And no I haven't I'm a bit scared he'll say no, although I know I'm good with kids and never let my own feelings rub off on them. But I'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow at my appointment with him. And thanks, that's reassured me a bit
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    UEL have given me an offer for Extended Computing with Foundation Year. I originally applied for Computer Networks which required 200 points and I have 180, so they offered me the foundation year option. I've entered it in UCAS and waiting to get confirmation from there now :crossedf: hurry up!

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    :woo:
    well done

    told you it can happen
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    Don't know how to deal with a friend manipulating me. Even though I'm 95% sure she's being manipulative, there's still that nagging doubt that I'm just a horrible person and I feel like **** for making her feel this bad. Finding it really hard to know how much I'm allowed to be angry with her, because I'm fairly sure her extremely manipulative tendencies are as a result of a MH problem, but they are still really really ****ty. I'm not in a place to deal with it but feel so guilty for causing her to feel abandoned and stuff, because even if my behaviour really is just normal human behaviour, her feelings of abandonment and stuff are still very real and it's **** of me to make her feel that bad. Can't get drawn back into that relationship though, because it just isn't good for me to be under her thumb and I really need to do what is best for me I think.
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    Community Assistant
    Got a psychology internship!

    Also met new care co-cordinator, she's a really nice and a women which makes a nice change
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Got a psychology internship!

    Also met new care co-cordinator, she's a really nice and a women which makes a nice change
    :woo: :yay:
    Congratulations! :jumphug:
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Hope it went okay hun :yep: :penguinhug:
    Was even worse than I expected, and I expected it to be bad. :bawling:



    Has anyone ever been on olanzapine before? Any side effects etc?
 
 
 
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