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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    actually had a good night tonight, been for a "girls night in" as we call it, its me, mum, my "nanna" another old lady from the village, and an ex village lady and sometimes her daughter all get together and have a takeaway and a good catch up.
    and i felt really comfortable tonight, even though there was a new person there.

    shes a time to change champion so has stuff to do with that, and got me some freebies from the roadshow she went to, and they might be setting something up in manchester, so i said id let you guys know about it
    somewhere to meet loads of people with MH problems.
    (hugs)
    Glad you had a nice evening and proud of you for not being bothered by the new lady!

    That sounds cool. I'll deffinately have to look out for it. Thanks for the heads up

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    Had a nightmare last night so didnt have a good sleep and kept waking up because of my sunburn.
    Im sure its getting more and more painful as the days go on


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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: I'd go with your instincts and say she probably is being manipulative. If you want to stay friends with her then in my opinion the only real way to do that is to confront her about it. Risks further damaging the friendship of course, but it's the only way I've been able to contemplate staying friends with someone like that in a similar situation. Her manipulating you is definitely not healthy for either of you, and even if by being honest with her you lose your friendship there's still the chance she'll take away something positive from the conversation and change her ways in the future.

    Definitely do what you think is best for you though - you've never come across as a selfish person, and when you're vulnerable at the moment it makes sense to put yourself first.
    Thanks - at the end of our conversation I basically said "sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I hope that you get the help you need". Am leaving it there, but I can't imagine it's over. It seems like she wants something from me that I can't give her, I dunno.

    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    This is kind of hard to admit and I hope you don't dislike me for it but in all honesty, in the attempt of giving you some advice, around 12 months ago I think I was in the position where I was the extremely ****e manipulative friend and I'm fairly certain I was making her feel all the things you currently feel. I'm also fairly certain she remained friends with me for a few months longer than she should have because she didn't want me to feel abandoned.
    Eventually my friend got to the point that she was like 'no more, I quit' and told me that until I got my act together she couldn't be my friend. She also outlined for me just how crap and manipulative I had been and I really needed that because I hadn't seen it that way before? I admit at first I was devastated and I felt abandoned and it was ****e HOWEVER I also think it was the first and only thing that really forced me to recognize what I was doing to the people around me, and made me see that I desperately needed to sort out what I was doing to myself and everyone I cared about.

    The fact is that YOU do need to come first, so you need to fix this situation. Having been on the opposite side of you I think it might be beneficial to her if you attempt to show her what she has been doing, even if she doesn't seem to want to know/care. Having someone walk out on me because I was treating them poorly was kind of the final straw to me and it was the low that was kind of 'the only way is up' for me, so you never know... Not only will it help you, but it could also help her in the long time.
    Also, as a little potentially happy note, we had a big discussion about two weeks ago and are now getting along very well again, so it doesn't have to be the end of your friendship forever, maybe just a little while.
    I'm literally awful at explaining things so if this doesn't make sense or you wanna know anything else then just ask ^^
    No, it does make sense and of course it doesn't make me dislike you! I think it's a real sign of strength to be self-aware enough to realise that you were in the wrong. Makes me feel better about not just pandering to it, hopefully she will come to the same realisation as you... I'd really like it if the friendship could be saved. Thanks for the honesty, and I'm really glad you and your friend are now getting on well.
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    Having about 8 inches of hair cut off today... I'm kind of excited because I haven't been to a hairdressers this nice in like.. ever, and hopefully they will cut it better than me and a large pair of scissors manages (). Donating it to a charity which makes wigs for kids in chemotherapy, which is cool as well - makes me feel like there's a point even if it ends up looking rubbish.

    But I'm scared of having it washed at the hairdresser's, cos they will make me lean back with my neck in one of those sink things and that makes me feel really really trapped. The large reason why I've been doing my own haircuts for a couple of years is fear of that and being touched triggering panic attack and/or flashback, and I'm still scared of that. Have a woman cutting it, but still really really don't like to be touched, and not entirely convinced that I can deal.

    Then afterwards I have to go to the post office to post my hair, which is a bit scary cos I might need to talk to an Actual Human. And then I have CBT and have been instructed by my bestie that there's something I really need to talk about, but I don't want to talk about it. I'm not sure how to bring it up or whether I can deal with her knowing it or whether I can discuss it at all without being massively triggered. But therapy is pointless if you don't talk about the hard stuff, so I guess I should? I'm not sure. Bleh.
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Thanks - at the end of our conversation I basically said "sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I hope that you get the help you need". Am leaving it there, but I can't imagine it's over. It seems like she wants something from me that I can't give her, I dunno.

    No, it does make sense and of course it doesn't make me dislike you! I think it's a real sign of strength to be self-aware enough to realise that you were in the wrong. Makes me feel better about not just pandering to it, hopefully she will come to the same realisation as you... I'd really like it if the friendship could be saved. Thanks for the honesty, and I'm really glad you and your friend are now getting on well.
    Just still quite new to the thread and wary of saying things that show I'm an awful person . My friend actually said something kind of similar so I'm hoping that it will all turn out okay? I think this was a really positive step for the both of you, wish you the best of luck in sorting it out.
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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    Just still quite new to the thread and wary of saying things that show I'm an awful person . My friend actually said something kind of similar so I'm hoping that it will all turn out okay? I think this was a really positive step for the both of you, wish you the best of luck in sorting it out.
    Slight eaves dropping but hey ho

    You are not an awful person and we're not going to think you are just because of one thing. We all make mistakes in our lives and as (I already forgot their name :/) said, it takes strength to admit those mistakes, especially in a rather public way like this

    Also, if they read this, I'd say (still can't remember their name) has done well in the situation and I hope it all works out for them. Maybe your friend will not understand to start with and flip out a bit, or maybe they'll immediately understand. Who knows, you may even be able to be friends again later if they sort it out. Whatever happens, stick to your guns and remember, as October said, this is about what's good for YOU- let them work out what they need to do, sometimes people need tough love to improve.

    --------------------------

    Good morning all! Hope you're well and have a lovely day.

    Not doing too bad at the moment but I do randomly feel funny a lot. Don't know if I'm hungry or tired or if I feel sick. It's all very confusing.


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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Having about 8 inches of hair cut off today... I'm kind of excited because I haven't been to a hairdressers this nice in like.. ever, and hopefully they will cut it better than me and a large pair of scissors manages (). Donating it to a charity which makes wigs for kids in chemotherapy, which is cool as well - makes me feel like there's a point even if it ends up looking rubbish.

    But I'm scared of having it washed at the hairdresser's, cos they will make me lean back with my neck in one of those sink things and that makes me feel really really trapped. The large reason why I've been doing my own haircuts for a couple of years is fear of that and being touched triggering panic attack and/or flashback, and I'm still scared of that. Have a woman cutting it, but still really really don't like to be touched, and not entirely convinced that I can deal.

    Then afterwards I have to go to the post office to post my hair, which is a bit scary cos I might need to talk to an Actual Human. And then I have CBT and have been instructed by my bestie that there's something I really need to talk about, but I don't want to talk about it. I'm not sure how to bring it up or whether I can deal with her knowing it or whether I can discuss it at all without being massively triggered. But therapy is pointless if you don't talk about the hard stuff, so I guess I should? I'm not sure. Bleh.
    Good luck with it all.




    Exam this afternoon. :woo:
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    (Original post by superwolf)

    Exam this afternoon. :woo:
    good luck with your exam!

    ---

    another sleepless night...sleep pattern remains a mess...sigh...still lonely but just about keeping it together, largely by distracting myself with video games.
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    good luck with your exam!

    ---

    another sleepless night...sleep pattern remains a mess...sigh...still lonely but just about keeping it together, largely by distracting myself with video games.
    Thanks. :hugs:


    Hope you get a decent night's sleep soon!
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Having about 8 inches of hair cut off today... I'm kind of excited because I haven't been to a hairdressers this nice in like.. ever, and hopefully they will cut it better than me and a large pair of scissors manages (). Donating it to a charity which makes wigs for kids in chemotherapy, which is cool as well - makes me feel like there's a point even if it ends up looking rubbish.

    But I'm scared of having it washed at the hairdresser's, cos they will make me lean back with my neck in one of those sink things and that makes me feel really really trapped. The large reason why I've been doing my own haircuts for a couple of years is fear of that and being touched triggering panic attack and/or flashback, and I'm still scared of that. Have a woman cutting it, but still really really don't like to be touched, and not entirely convinced that I can deal.

    Then afterwards I have to go to the post office to post my hair, which is a bit scary cos I might need to talk to an Actual Human. And then I have CBT and have been instructed by my bestie that there's something I really need to talk about, but I don't want to talk about it. I'm not sure how to bring it up or whether I can deal with her knowing it or whether I can discuss it at all without being massively triggered. But therapy is pointless if you don't talk about the hard stuff, so I guess I should? I'm not sure. Bleh.
    You caaaan ask them to not wash your hair and just spray it instead - will be not be very happy about it (especially with thick hair) but if it makes it easier for you...

    Good luck with therapy, hope you do manage to mention it :hugs:

    (Original post by superwolf)
    Good luck with it all.




    Exam this afternoon. :woo:
    Oodles and noodles of luck! :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    I've often thought about ringing them but been too scared to, since i get kinda scared of phonecalls; making them and receiving them. It's good to hear they are helpful though, i might try give them a ring next time im feeling crap. Glad to hear you're feeling better!

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    i can't remember if I replied so I'm going to reply again just incase I haven't, if I have however woop to twp replies
    Anyway, you should just try it out, they have very soft kind voices and appear to be genuinely caring and nice people. And thanks.
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    Oodles and noodles of luck! :jumphug:
    Thank you! *eats the noodles*
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    Right so I've just come back from my appointment. After ages of trying to pluck up the courage to say clearly and straight I think i'm suffering from depression and not indirectly talk about the issue (i did this last time and the doctor basically dismissed me(I think she thought it was teen angst or something)) I just came out with it. I spent nearly an hour talking to my gp. She was just really supportive. It was nice to talk to a real person honestly and just say what came into my head. I mean I do go to a counsellor but I have to hold back, I can't say everything because she's a college counsellor and if i told her I SH then she'd have to tell the deputy head and then the head teacher etc. But talking to the GP this time was good. I told samaritans about my appointment yesterday and they phoned back to see how it went, i felt loved lol, even if i did ask them to call back.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    OUCH! Big big hugs :jumphug:
    started seeping pus last night or something totally not cool

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Glad you had a nice evening and proud of you for not being bothered by the new lady!

    That sounds cool. I'll deffinately have to look out for it. Thanks for the heads up
    yeah, even had to sit next to her but it was ok, i guess cos im comfortable with everyone else.

    there is a time to change website, but my friends gonna keep me in the loop aswell, so i may find out before it goes online.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Good luck with it all.

    Exam this afternoon. :woo:
    Thanks Good luck!

    (Original post by Sultana)
    You caaaan ask them to not wash your hair and just spray it instead - will be not be very happy about it (especially with thick hair) but if it makes it easier for you...

    Good luck with therapy, hope you do manage to mention it :hugs:
    Thanks. Reckon I will try to get it washed (I occasionally like to pretend to be a normal person ) but it's good to know that in case I can't deal. Will probably take diazepam beforehand haha. Hope you're doing OK. :hugs:
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    (Original post by River85)
    But you might speak to me, and I am lovely and nothing to be scared of

    But seriously, I appreciate why you are hesitant. I am not particularly confident with phones myself, despite being a Samaritan.

    Do you know you can text, email and write to Samaritans instead? I don't know if you'd find this easier.
    You're a Samaritan? That's cool.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much for your reply! I haven't had any therapy or anything like that, to be honest I went to the doctors years ago when i first started having panic attacks and she told me I'd "get over it" and so have been reluctant to go back as I feel I probably should have got over it by now and they might not take me seriously. I have been doing my own research and many websites describe agoraphobia as very similar to the way I feel (I know it's not always a good idea to try and diagnose yourself over the internet but this made me feel slightly better in that it could be a diagnosable thing rather than just me being an idiot!

    I was considering speaking to someone at the uni when I arrive there but I'm so wary to speak to anyone about this, I just feel like nobody will take me seriously or judge me if I leave lectures etc so I try to stay in places even if I feel terrible, I'm normally able to sit it out.
    Again, thank you for your reply and the link to the website!
    That was a really terrible thing for the doctor to say to you. Anxiety is a real medical conditions and should be taken seriously - and it's absolutely no reflection on you it hasn't spontaneously disappeared. I'd really suggest you go and see another doctor. Any decent doctor will take you seriously and there's no reason why you should be struggling alone when there's tonnes of stuff they can do to help. Maybe wait until you get to uni; GPs who see lots of students tend to be more understanding when it comes to MH stuff and if you did want to try therapy it would probably work better to be referred in your uni area.
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    Eeew, I struggle with swallowing pills sometimes so I just tried to take one and I it started breaking down on my tongue! And so I was like nah got to swallow this quick, and down it went!
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    This is really random but I've lost my glasses. so now i'm really zoomed into the page! lol.
    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Don't know how to deal with a friend manipulating me. Even though I'm 95% sure she's being manipulative, there's still that nagging doubt that I'm just a horrible person and I feel like **** for making her feel this bad. Finding it really hard to know how much I'm allowed to be angry with her, because I'm fairly sure her extremely manipulative tendencies are as a result of a MH problem, but they are still really really ****ty. I'm not in a place to deal with it but feel so guilty for causing her to feel abandoned and stuff, because even if my behaviour really is just normal human behaviour, her feelings of abandonment and stuff are still very real and it's **** of me to make her feel that bad. Can't get drawn back into that relationship though, because it just isn't good for me to be under her thumb and I really need to do what is best for me I think.

    Hey sorry to hear that you feel this way. How is your friend manipulating you? Is she making you feel a certain way/ do things? Have you considered having space to see if you feel the same without her? I remember i used to feel terrible hanging with this person when i was younger, she'd make me feel really bad about myself, when I stopped hanging with her i felt different, I felt guilty because she had so much hold over my life and I felt like I had abandoned her too, but at the same time i felt happier that I was free that I could concentrate on myself. I guess we all can deal with different things at times in life and somethings are hard to deal with. If you're feeling vulnerable yourself then perhaps time out isn't a bad idea. You should tell your friend that you still care about her but you don't want such an intense relationship- if that is what you want. Think about yourself more, ok? It doesn't make you a bad person for wanting some space from your friend, things can get really deep sometimes. x

    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    Got a psychology internship!

    Also met new care co-cordinator, she's a really nice and a women which makes a nice change
    Heey congratulations!

    (Original post by Deyesy)
    Eh. So this is kind of a bye sort of post thing. Not banning myself from TSR or anything because at the moment its helpful in keeping the loneliness at bay but Imma stop watching this thread and disappear for a while. I don't think it's good for me and because of that my replies to people probably come across as a tad harsh, maybe even bullish so yeah I just wanted to say thank you for the support from everyone in the past 12 months and if you want me; I'm probably best giving you my Skype since I am absolutely awful at replying to PM's.

    Again. Thank you. Hopefully you all keep supporting each other because there's a rather lovely community feel to this thread.



    I hope things eventually work out for you Poncho :yy: I really do hope you're successful in your extenuating circumstances application and that if you're successful you manage to proof the doubters wrong.



    Also to you to dude. I hope the university offer and university itself is a catalyst for change and change in a good way. Hopefully you'll thrive in the new environment.
    Awwh, wow, dude good luck with everything and I hope your time out serves you well. x

    (Original post by la-dauphine)
    Feeling dreadful I had depression last year and I thought it had gone away but it's come back in some form or another - either cyclothymia, BPD or premenstrual dysphoric disorder, I have several symptoms of all of these problems. Right now I'm feeling really depressed and isolated, with very limited GP access. I don't know what to do because I can see myself slipping back into how I used to be, but last time I tried drugs the side effects were too bad, and I'm finding CBT useless. I call the Samaritans sometimes but often I'm not feeling at crisis point, just completely dull and dead inside.
    Hey I'm sorry to see that you're feeling like this. , There's always someone you can talk to, so if you do feel isolated then hit me PM. Why can't you see your GP? Is it the appointment system? I know this may not work for everyone but have you considered doing something to distract yourself and not thinking about depression. Like I don't know cycling or running or texting an old friend or dancing alone in your bedroom? I've tried that and even though it lasts for as long as those activities last for, for me, it's kinda a boost. I think talking to your gp would be your best bet as perhaps they could discuss what happens next. And If you find Samaritans helps then give them a call even if you're not feeling reaaaaallly bad. xx

    (Original post by 08batee)
    Really don't want to be awake for any more of today. Feel so so ill
    Wakeey wakey! , Sorry that you're feeling poorly!


    (Original post by alexs2602)
    Not really a lurker or poster here but just wanted to get bit of a discovery off my chest. For a long time I've considered myself a realist but today it's occurred to me there's this underlying theme of pessimism there which I've been denying for years. And that perhaps this affects my motivation and ability to do a job/study. Without this pessimism that I could achieve more.
    Hi there, well they do say that acceptance is the first step, so you're getting there. lol, seriously though well done for seeing yourself in a different light. It can be hard to see what you thought wasn't actually there. What have you done since this discovery of your perhaps pessimism?
    x
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Having about 8 inches of hair cut off today... I'm kind of excited because I haven't been to a hairdressers this nice in like.. ever, and hopefully they will cut it better than me and a large pair of scissors manages (). Donating it to a charity which makes wigs for kids in chemotherapy, which is cool as well - makes me feel like there's a point even if it ends up looking rubbish.

    But I'm scared of having it washed at the hairdresser's, cos they will make me lean back with my neck in one of those sink things and that makes me feel really really trapped. The large reason why I've been doing my own haircuts for a couple of years is fear of that and being touched triggering panic attack and/or flashback, and I'm still scared of that. Have a woman cutting it, but still really really don't like to be touched, and not entirely convinced that I can deal.

    Then afterwards I have to go to the post office to post my hair, which is a bit scary cos I might need to talk to an Actual Human. And then I have CBT and have been instructed by my bestie that there's something I really need to talk about, but I don't want to talk about it. I'm not sure how to bring it up or whether I can deal with her knowing it or whether I can discuss it at all without being massively triggered. But therapy is pointless if you don't talk about the hard stuff, so I guess I should? I'm not sure. Bleh.
    :jumphug: Good luck with the hair being cut and the therapy! I'm not a fan going to the hairdressers... Scared of people going near my hair with scissors.

    (Original post by superwolf)
    Good luck with it all.


    Exam this afternoon. :woo:
    :jumphug: :jumphug: Best of luck!

    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    Eeew, I struggle with swallowing pills sometimes so I just tried to take one and I it started breaking down on my tongue! And so I was like nah got to swallow this quick, and down it went!
    Ew, it's horrible when that happens... I used to get it with iron tablets in particular. Not good.
 
 
 
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