Depression Society MkII Watch

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Sabertooth
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#6661
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#6661
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
No, sadly I'll be 25 this year which is what makes it extra pathetic that this is my life. I could actually cry.

I couldn't sleep so I was still awake after 4am sometime.
Don't you have a degree from Cambridge uni? That's an amazing achievement you should be really proud of yourself for that. I'm sure your parents are proud of you just sometimes parents don't always show it.
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vapid slut magician
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#6662
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no, just after I got that degree my parents said I'd done nothing with my life.

I was taking sleeping pills, im trying not to take them constantly though because I want to sleep naturally and not get addicted to them.
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vapid slut magician
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#6663
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#6663
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
25's still not that old.

Can you take sleeping pills to push your sleeping pattern into something more regular for now? Or - this is a random suggestion - get a job that specialises in nights?
I can't really get a job because I'm on a masters course
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by vapid slut magician)
no, just after I got that degree my parents said I'd done nothing with my life.

I was taking sleeping pills, im trying not to take them constantly though because I want to sleep naturally and not get addicted to them.
Are your parents not academic types then? I think graduating cambridge is a huge achievement.
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kiss_me_now9
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#6665
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#6665
The fact that you're on a masters is a huge achievement! Not many do that. And yeah, Saber is right, graduating Cambridge is a massive achievement.
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vapid slut magician
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#6666
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no one in my family went to university so everyone thinks I'm a useless waste of space scrounging around without a job
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vapid slut magician
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#6667
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well they don't feel like achievements. Nothing is difficult enough to feel like I achieved anything. I don't like this masters and Oxford is as boring as Cambridge was.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by vapid slut magician)
no one in my family went to university so everyone thinks I'm a useless waste of space scrounging around without a job
I know that feeling I get it from my family all the time, but you're making something of yourself, and once you get this masters you'll be in an excellent position to get a decent job and do what you want.

Maybe if you don't like the masters at Oxford you could try somewhere a bit less academic and more fun? I've been to 3 unis and the amount of difference in culture between them was huge, maybe Oxford's just not your thing?
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6669
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(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
I had a bad dream again last night Not fun. Normally I'd get my mum to give me an extra long hug, but she's not here so... Mm.

Also I went out last night with the girls I'm living with next year and had an awesome time... Saw my flatmates out and tried to avoid them, only spoke to the girl who 'lives' in our flat very briefly and avoided the guy who actually does. I felt kinda... sounds stupid but I almost felt I was free, because I didn't have to follow them around and could make my own decisions. And most stupid thing - We did several shots, whenever I suggested shots to my flatmates they always went 'Mmm, noo' and then went and did them theirselves amongst their little group, leaving me out.

:hugs: for everyone. Charlotte, I know it's harsh love and it's not much comfort but absence truly makes the heart grow fonder; I think my parents are a prime example of that (my Dad is in the RAF and every two/three years he has to go away from home for 6 months... Sometimes, like when the Iraq war was going, he was away for 18 months without a visit home). I really hope he sticks to his word for you, I really do. :console:

Death.Drop, Happy belated Birthday, aren't siblings the best! And I love 'Spoons chicken burgers... Yum.

Laus, :hugs: at least you got home safe and well, I'm presuming by the spare set of kets and bag outside your door that someone got you to your flat/door at least, so someone cares enough.

Blackfish, I haven't spoken to you much before, I hope your flatmates stop with the heavy bass! Eurgh. Nothing worse, imo.

PC, I was like that last semester... My flatmates completly disowned me. So... I went and found new friends who cared. There is always someone out there with an open heart, trust me. :hugs:

VSM, I didn't get up til half 1, it's not a massive deal. What time do you go to sleep? (I.E are you sleeping 18 hours straight, or just 5 because you can't get to sleep?) If it's the former, it might be worth a trip to the dr.s to check that it's not something simple like Anaemia... Or they could tell you that you are simply like me and just love to sleep. Yes, I was up late, but I'm still planning on going into town, and doing what I need to do. You are a decent person; cleverness, work ethic and sleep patterns don't make someone friendly or caring as you are. You're only, what, 19/20? (Sorry, I don't know your actual age :o:) You've got years to achieve something! I also sincerely doubt that your parents wouldn't want you in their lives... However long you sleep for. :hugs:
Absence has made the heart grow fonder. I honestly thought he'd come home, probably not be able to see me, if he did it would be for only 10 minutes whilst out with a load of friends and if I said no to sex, that would be the end of our friendship/relationship thing we had. I was prepared for this knowing that yes I'd be upset, but he was a ******* for it so I hadn't lost anything. But no, I saw him on 3 of the days, spent ages together, never once got told off for wanting a cuddle, never once had a mean remark made to me, it was just pure bliss. Every minute I was with him I was happy.

I said my piece and he was shocked and wanted to know why I hadn't mentioned it before. He's been telling me not to get jealous and keeps on and on about us being special friends. It's been exactly how I wanted it to be in my dreams. But yet with it being this way, it makes it so much harder when he leaves and goes back.

Thinking about it, it was me that made it this way. I was the one who said that it had to change. It could have carried on the way it was doing and I'd have never known how he felt and I'd have carried on feeling hurt and unwanted. I would have continued to think that he'd used me and was a horrible person. But instead, one or two small sentences have made the whole thing so much harder because I know I was wrong. So I'm beating myself up for that at the same time.

Eurgh, this makes no sense so I'll shut up. Really feels like I have no one to talk to about this. None of my friends think I should believe him. No one wants to know about my problems anyway. They all think I'm stupid. So I'll just shut up. Sorry
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vapid slut magician
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#6670
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#6670
yeah im going to do what I want next year instead of what I think I should do. I'm applying for a masters at loughborough to focus on sport and stuff.
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Sabertooth
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#6671
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That's great VSM.

I hope it works out for you there.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6672
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(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
I had a bad dream again last night Not fun. Normally I'd get my mum to give me an extra long hug, but she's not here so... Mm.

Also I went out last night with the girls I'm living with next year and had an awesome time... Saw my flatmates out and tried to avoid them, only spoke to the girl who 'lives' in our flat very briefly and avoided the guy who actually does. I felt kinda... sounds stupid but I almost felt I was free, because I didn't have to follow them around and could make my own decisions. And most stupid thing - We did several shots, whenever I suggested shots to my flatmates they always went 'Mmm, noo' and then went and did them theirselves amongst their little group, leaving me out.

:hugs: for everyone. Charlotte, I know it's harsh love and it's not much comfort but absence truly makes the heart grow fonder; I think my parents are a prime example of that (my Dad is in the RAF and every two/three years he has to go away from home for 6 months... Sometimes, like when the Iraq war was going, he was away for 18 months without a visit home). I really hope he sticks to his word for you, I really do. :console:

Death.Drop, Happy belated Birthday, aren't siblings the best! And I love 'Spoons chicken burgers... Yum.

Laus, :hugs: at least you got home safe and well, I'm presuming by the spare set of kets and bag outside your door that someone got you to your flat/door at least, so someone cares enough.

Blackfish, I haven't spoken to you much before, I hope your flatmates stop with the heavy bass! Eurgh. Nothing worse, imo.

PC, I was like that last semester... My flatmates completly disowned me. So... I went and found new friends who cared. There is always someone out there with an open heart, trust me. :hugs:

VSM, I didn't get up til half 1, it's not a massive deal. What time do you go to sleep? (I.E are you sleeping 18 hours straight, or just 5 because you can't get to sleep?) If it's the former, it might be worth a trip to the dr.s to check that it's not something simple like Anaemia... Or they could tell you that you are simply like me and just love to sleep. Yes, I was up late, but I'm still planning on going into town, and doing what I need to do. You are a decent person; cleverness, work ethic and sleep patterns don't make someone friendly or caring as you are. You're only, what, 19/20? (Sorry, I don't know your actual age :o:) You've got years to achieve something! I also sincerely doubt that your parents wouldn't want you in their lives... However long you sleep for. :hugs:
Absence has made the heart grow fonder. I honestly thought he'd come home, probably not be able to see me, if he did it would be for only 10 minutes whilst out with a load of friends and if I said no to sex, that would be the end of our friendship/relationship thing we had. I was prepared for this knowing that yes I'd be upset, but he was a ******* for it so I hadn't lost anything. But no, I saw him on 3 of the days, spent ages together, never once got told off for wanting a cuddle, never once had a mean remark made to me, it was just pure bliss. Every minute I was with him I was happy.

I said my piece and he was shocked and wanted to know why I hadn't mentioned it before. He's been telling me not to get jealous and keeps on and on about us being special friends. It's been exactly how I wanted it to be in my dreams. But yet with it being this way, it makes it so much harder when he leaves and goes back.

Thinking about it, it was me that made it this way. I was the one who said that it had to change. It could have carried on the way it was doing and I'd have never known how he felt and I'd have carried on feeling hurt and unwanted. I would have continued to think that he'd used me and was a horrible person. But instead, one or two small sentences have made the whole thing so much harder because I know I was wrong. So I'm beating myself up for that at the same time.

Eurgh, this makes no sense so I'll shut up. Really feels like I have no one to talk to about this. None of my friends think I should believe him. No one wants to know about my problems anyway. They all think I'm stupid. So I'll just shut up. Sorry
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Pocket Calculator
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#6673
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#6673
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
No, sadly I'll be 25 this year which is what makes it extra pathetic that this is my life. I could actually cry.

I couldn't sleep so I was still awake after 4am sometime.
is this your second degree? what have you been doing since sixth form?

I had a sleepless night too. Gave up in the end, watched two of the Sellers Pink Panther films.
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vapid slut magician
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#6674
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#6674
no I have a BA and this is my MSt
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Pocket Calculator
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#6675
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#6675
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Eurgh, this makes no sense so I'll shut up. Really feels like I have no one to talk to about this. None of my friends think I should believe him. No one wants to know about my problems anyway. They all think I'm stupid. So I'll just shut up. Sorry
Are you actually with him?
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becki08
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#6676
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#6676
Hi everyone, I'll try to reply to some posts later but I really need some sleep right now as I've only just got back and I'm exhausted. I've had the total of less than 8 hours sleep in 2 days and hadn't been sleeping well before that either so I'm totally worn out. But I just thought I'd let you know that last night went ok. I didn't enjoy it because I was so scared and on edge but I managed to keep the act up for everyone and nothing happened so it was ok. The competition today went much better than I expected too so I'm slightly less nervous about next week's one.

Anyway, :hugs: for all and I'll try to reply to people later x
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6677
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(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
Are you actually with him?
Not anymore. I told him on Wednesday that it wasn't fair for us to have this casual long distance relationship thing because it was just hurting me and I felt used.

We were never official when he lived here. We said we were together when it was just me and him but if we were out, we'd act as if we weren't because it was easier than letting everyone know we were together and then having him leave and it all be messy. So we just kept it between the two of us. I accepted it at the time thinking that it really was just because he was moving. Then I changed my mind and thought it was just because he was using me. But now I know I was wrong to think that because he did care.

We decided that we'd stay as friends and he said yes, special friends. He wanted us to sleep together one last time and I said no because it would hurt too much but then the next day he asked me again and I said ok. But we never did. Last night he said next time he comes over we'll sleep together one last time but we'll see because I think it will hurt too much. Plus he's sort of seeing this girl in Cyprus and even though she's seeing other guys and isn't his type, I'd still feel bad. So yeah....it's so weird but at the end of the day, I have my special friend and that's more than I thought I'd get so I can't really be upset.



On another note....really don't want to go to Germany this weekend. And I really don't want to have my birthday. And I really miss my car. It's harder knowing the last person in my car was Gav. Kinda weird that it'll be the end of not only the car's life but of our relationship Just hope it's not the end of all contact with him!
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blackfish
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#6678
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(Original post by death.drop)
went to the wellyspoon. (wellington hotel come wetherspooms). not particularly interesting but yum for chicken burgers and cheapness.
I must admit, I am also a regular customer of Wetherspoon :p: Nothing like a large Latte or a Vege Sunday Lunch and Free WiFi

they didn't shut up until 6. and my ex was touching me with me shouting 'get the **** out of my room' until 6.30. it was ****. work was hard hungover
that bass thing is annoying. I'd rather sit in the room and listen to the music i hate than get bass and blurred noise pumping through my wall/ceiling!
Thats not nice :hugs: I've been to parties before when they go on too long or get out of hand...

harsh sorry to hear that, but thanks for making me be not alone.
Not problem, I try to be a nice person

haven't you go9t one friend to go with? or maybe join a facebook group for local clubs to see when there are special nights on. might make socialising easier?
Yea, I'm on facebook. All my friends that I have on it are where I used to live in Cornwall. Going down there isn't an issue, it's accomodation thats the problem. I occasionally go down the local club, but I tend not to stay to long as it gets to busy for my liking. I always end up going on my own. and I try to talk to people, but I never get anywhere and i'm beginning to think it's because i'm such a s**t person. I really do hate myself.

i've had a few again so sorry for poor typing i tried hard this time. I'm trying to read all the posts, but im not good at knowing what to say and i don't think advice from a screw up is always the best advice to take. but someone's reading anyway if that helps.
Your not a screwup. Your a nice person and thanks, having someone to talk to seriously means alot
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Pocket Calculator
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#6679
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
On another note....really don't want to go to Germany this weekend. And I really don't want to have my birthday. And I really miss my car. It's harder knowing the last person in my car was Gav. Kinda weird that it'll be the end of not only the car's life but of our relationship Just hope it's not the end of all contact with him!
whoa, long reply! Well, at least you still talk to him I guess. Just don't dwell on him too much. I haven't had anyone I can talk to like that for about a year now. I miss it so much. Screw relationships, all I want now is someone I can properly confide in.

What happened with your car? I thought you were going to get a polo or something?
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*pink_sapphires*
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(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
whoa, long reply! Well, at least you still talk to him I guess. Just don't dwell on him too much. I haven't had anyone I can talk to like that for about a year now. I miss it so much. Screw relationships, all I want now is someone I can properly confide in.

What happened with your car? I thought you were going to get a polo or something?
Sorry for the long reply :o:

And yes, I am getting a Polo at the end of February. It means 3 weeks without a car though
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