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    Feel like crap. No motivation to do anything, even the things I want to do? . Just want to lie in bed and cry instead.
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    i dont even know what my next move in life is
    i have so little motivation and energy and get go that i havnt applied to 1 single job all summer.
    i just keep running away from jobs and money.

    everythings such a mess
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    I get that, it's sad, but eventually I'm sure they'll come around and you'll feel more comfortable talking. Not everything has an explainable reason.

    Do you not want to get a doctors note? That agreement sounds to your advantage? What does it involve? I'd say do everything that put you at a level playing field with everyone else, extenuating circumstances may have helped a lot. I mean it could reduce your stress etc? But it's your choice at the end of the day. Congrats on your 2:1 That's really good, you achieved really well!

    I hope you'll be able to, I'm sure you'll be able to do it too. Good luck tho !
    I hope so...when I tried to tell my parents about things they did that might have contributed (I did talk about this with my counsellor) my mum got upset, and wasn't very supportive - she stopped talking to me for a bit because she didn't want to say anything that might 'set me off' and told me I should think about how my illnesses affect other people. That still upsets me when I think about it but I've just decided that she won't be the person I turn to if I need support for now, and I have other people in my life who are more understanding.

    I'm not sure if I'd actually get one - I would probably have got one when I first got diagnosed with depression four months ago, but since then I've improved a lot so I don't know. It basically means they can put arrangements in place like giving me extra time in exams if they give me panic attacks (which thankfully they don't), and extensions to deadlines if I need them because I've been feeling particularly bad. It could reduce my stress a bit...I did manage to get all of my work in well on time and finish all my exams early last year when things were awful though. I might talk to my personal tutor about it when I go back to uni & see what she thinks. Thank you
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Hi,

    Welcome to MHSS! :wavey: Please don't belittle your problems or think you are making a fuss over nothing. That sounds like pretty bad anxiety, from what you've described, and of course you deserve help with it! I think going back to the nice counsellor you saw before is a very good idea :yes:
    Thank you It was - I'm pretty sure it was what caused me to develop IBS which I still suffer from now even when I'm not anxious It just felt like my head was screaming at me all of the time, and I'd sometimes end up curled up in a ball in bed sobbing to try and make the bad thoughts go away. Didn't help that when things were at their worst, whenever I didn't feel anxious and like I couldn't switch off, I felt depressed and like I wanted to switch off all of the time. My boyfriend and I had loads of tearful arguments because I'd get upset over stupid things (sometimes even over nothing) and I always felt a whole lot worse after each one, especially when he started saying he felt like he was losing me to anxiety & depression. When I asked him why he'd stayed with me even though I knew I'd been horrible to him, he said it was because he knew that the girl he'd fallen in love with was still in there somewhere and that it was the anxiety talking, not me. I think I can count on one hand the number of times we've argued since I started to feel better at the end of May, but I think he's definitely a lot more understanding about it now than he was before because I'm better at opening up to him and telling him what he can do to help now.

    I notice you studied at Oxford - can I ask how you managed to cope with a mental illness while you were there? I applied and got rejected by Trinity and my struggles over the past 18 months have made me feel quite relieved that I didn't get in because I feel like the stress and the high pressure environment would have made things even worse for me.
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    I got a nice email from one of my teachers last year though and it put a little smile on my face. Still feeling crap though.
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    (Original post by BlueSheep32)
    I hope so...when I tried to tell my parents about things they did that might have contributed (I did talk about this with my counsellor) my mum got upset, and wasn't very supportive - she stopped talking to me for a bit because she didn't want to say anything that might 'set me off' and told me I should think about how my illnesses affect other people. That still upsets me when I think about it but I've just decided that she won't be the person I turn to if I need support for now, and I have other people in my life who are more understanding.

    I'm not sure if I'd actually get one - I would probably have got one when I first got diagnosed with depression four months ago, but since then I've improved a lot so I don't know. It basically means they can put arrangements in place like giving me extra time in exams if they give me panic attacks (which thankfully they don't), and extensions to deadlines if I need them because I've been feeling particularly bad. It could reduce my stress a bit...I did manage to get all of my work in well on time and finish all my exams early last year when things were awful though. I might talk to my personal tutor about it when I go back to uni & see what she thinks. Thank you
    I completely empathise. Parent's sometimes just find it too hard to accept they may have harmed their child unintentionally in someway. It really annoys me when people imply or say the whole set you off thing. I find it patronising and I just really dislike it. My parents do get upset when i bring them into why I may be depressed too. I think it's natural to not want the blame for something sometimes. Don't let how you may have affected you make you feel guilty, it's not your fault how you are, so you aren't to blame, you're working to battle it. I sometimes feel guilty too, but you can't help it? It just happens. That being said it's understandable that they feel angry and upset and confused too. And it seems like the best thing to do, you've got a better outside support network so just use them, your mum will come round one day, but for now the people are supporting you and yourself are really most important.

    Yeah definitely see what she thinks, it sounds good and like you're doing well so, either way it's good. :hugs:

    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i dont even know what my next move in life is
    i have so little motivation and energy and get go that i havnt applied to 1 single job all summer.
    i just keep running away from jobs and money.
    :hugs:


    everythings such a mess
    we're in the same boat. except i applied to a couple and got rejected from them all. I applied to like 15! How will you motivate yourself? Why are you running?? I hope you get better x

    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    Feel like crap. No motivation to do anything, even the things I want to do? . Just want to lie in bed and cry instead.
    Heyy it's ok, :hugs: what makes you happy? try that. Or just let out what you're feeling.
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    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    I got a nice email from one of my teachers last year though and it put a little smile on my face. Still feeling crap though.
    :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's encouraging to see such a good rapport with your therapist?. Is it a private service or the one on the NHS? I'll be starting soon.
    She works privately, but I see her for very little money (a fifth of what she normally charges ) cos I'm a skint student. Therapy on the NHS wouldn't really have worked for me because I am split 50/50 between locations. Most NHS therapists are only based in one place, and because I'm in long-term trauma therapy I really need to see the same person every week for like a couple of years. Because my therapist works in two places (on different days of the week) I can see her both when I'm at home and uni without too much travelling.

    I think in general though, therapists won't let you go if they think you're at risk, and although I wasn't an active risk to myself I was incredibly dissociated and could easily have walked in front of a car without looking or something, or collapsed on stairs or whatever. So I think any therapist worth their salt would have recommended that I stay in a safe place until I was slightly more with it, NHS or private (I really hope so, anyway! I know the NHS don't have the best of reputations for therapy, but I think it's more about the individual who you see than what funding it has).

    (Original post by octoberbaby)
    Well done for getting through the hairdressers! Really good that you managed with that.. I would've thought having issues in your therapy session would be better than with a hairdresser. Therapist would be better prepared at least.
    Have you text her yet?
    Thanks! My hair is all short now. Well, somewhere between shoulders and chin, but 9/10 inches shorter feels so different! It was much better to happen at therapy, yeah. I'm just frustrated because I'm not seeing her for another 3 weeks and there's stuff I need to talk about.

    Yeah, I was on the bus home when I posted before but soon after got a text asking if everything was alright so I replied.

    --

    Home now and quite exhausted. Flashbacks are so draining. Trying to look after myself and stuff.
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    I'm feeling a bit annoyed with myself that I can't seem to bring myself to contact Mind or a therapist or somewhere for help. I'm too shy, I keep procrastinating, don't truly want to admit that I might have a problem, etc. But the constant very low feelings of disappointment and stuff just keep returning all the time and I don't know when/if I can ever fight them . Something needs to be done, but who knows what...
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    we're in the same boat. except i applied to a couple and got rejected from them all. I applied to like 15! How will you motivate yourself? Why are you running?? I hope you get better x
    no idea how ill motivate myself, might talk to my boyfriend when i next go and stop with him...
    im running because i dont want to face reality, its too hard to live with at the moment.

    no point in being in reality if i cant cope with it, and not wanting to be in reality means wanting to do silly bad things, which really isnt good.

    tonights gonna be SOOOOO hard
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    no idea how ill motivate myself, might talk to my boyfriend when i next go and stop with him...
    im running because i dont want to face reality, its too hard to live with at the moment.

    no point in being in reality if i cant cope with it, and not wanting to be in reality means wanting to do silly bad things, which really isnt good.

    tonights gonna be SOOOOO hard
    aww that sounds nice do that!
    Reality can be hard, and sometimes I feel like I need to take time out too. But i guess we'll all have to face it sooner or later. :hugs:
    It's understandable where you're coming from though, with regards to coping and not doing bad things.
    And you can pull through tonight :hugs:
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    aww that sounds nice do that!
    Reality can be hard, and sometimes I feel like I need to take time out too. But i guess we'll all have to face it sooner or later. :hugs:
    It's understandable where you're coming from though, with regards to coping and not doing bad things.
    And you can pull through tonight :hugs:
    im sure together we can come up with an idea
    but thats the thing, i dont want to face reality so the more i can run from it the better, iv been running away for months now...

    bad things really arnt good, and its so bad for me

    i dunno i feel so bad and crap i dont know what to do
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    im sure together we can come up with an idea
    but thats the thing, i dont want to face reality so the more i can run from it the better, iv been running away for months now...

    bad things really arnt good, and its so bad for me

    i dunno i feel so bad and crap i dont know what to do
    mmnnn i hear you :hugs:

    :hugs:

    is there anyone with you that you can talk to? or anything you do to distract from this feeling like watching a movie?
    i don't know much, but i hope it gets better. :hugs:
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    mmnnn i hear you :hugs:

    :hugs:

    is there anyone with you that you can talk to? or anything you do to distract from this feeling like watching a movie?
    i don't know much, but i hope it gets better. :hugs:
    nope, boyfriends asleep, mums asleep, cant talk to anyone else.
    my dvds dont work on my laptop, and my DVD player is broken. i just dfunno
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    nope, boyfriends asleep, mums asleep, cant talk to anyone else.
    my dvds dont work on my laptop, and my DVD player is broken. i just dfunno
    you have the internet! There's an amazing series on Channel 4od (so 4od online yeah) called scandal with Kerry Washington. Check it out. Or watch the whole made in chelsea series, there's lots to you can check out. Have you considered sleeping? :hugs:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    nope, boyfriends asleep, mums asleep, cant talk to anyone else.
    my dvds dont work on my laptop, and my DVD player is broken. i just dfunno
    I'd recommend the series Dexter. It's really awesome. I'm sure an unscrupulous person could find it somewhere on the internet (not that I'd ever recommend you break the law).
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    you have the internet! There's an amazing series on Channel 4od (so 4od online yeah) called scandal with Kerry Washington. Check it out. Or watch the whole made in chelsea series, there's lots to you can check out. Have you considered sleeping? :hugs:
    dont tend to watch much actual tv really, unless its on the tele, only programme i watch religiously is holyoaks.
    sleep??? whats that you speak of?
    naaaa that wont happen till my boyfriends woken up probably

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'd recommend the series Dexter. It's really awesome. I'm sure an unscrupulous person could find it somewhere on the internet (not that I'd ever recommend you break the law).
    i would NEVER break the law and download something illegally :ninja:

    but i cant concentrate on tv tonight anyway, i just want to hide in a dark corner and cry
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    (Original post by anonymouspie227)
    Hey, :hugs: . Thanks, yeah I've been feeling pretty low, but you just gotta carry on. Saying that I couldn't do anything today i just had no motivation to do anything. (after my gp apt) I just stayed in bed. Now I'm cooking for my family as I have to, it's my go.
    :console: Sorry to hear that. I know how debilitating low moods can be :sadnod: Is it a recent change or have you been feeling like that for a while? :hugs:
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    (Original post by superwolf)

    Olanzapine was a pretty good drug for me - had sedating effects (which were actually quite welcome), but nothing overwhelming, can't think of any other side-effects I had, and overall it had quite a good effect. Hope it works well for you too.
    Thank you. :hugs:
    He's actually hoping that it'll be quite sedating (I'm not sleeping and apparently I'm pretty agitated ). Glad it worked well for you.

    (Original post by 08batee)
    So sorry to hear that hun :console: :jumphug: Will probably be on and off facebook for most of the evening so feel free to drop a message if talking would help. Though replies may be kinda sporadic as I've had a rough day.
    :loveduck:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    ]


    Sorry to hear it didn't go so well. :console: I've taken olanzapine in the past - I put on 50lbs in a month and was sleeping about 20 hours a day...not good at all. :no: However, all drugs work differently for different people, I think superwolf managed to avoid weight gain on it entirely. You could always try asking for metformin if you find yourself gaining weight. It's a diabetes drug that helps minimize weight gain on antipsychotics.
    Thanks. :hugs:
    Oh dear. Sorry it didn't work for you- that doesn't sound good at all. Thanks for the tip. I'm hoping it will increase my appetite a bit because I'm not really managing food very well at all at the moment.




    Had a really nice evening. :woo: Was back at music (I play in a scottish traditional music band :cool: ) and it went really really well. Have lots of arrangements that I've missed to pick up so that will give me something to focus on during the day, because I'm still not allowed back at school. Apparently I'm not well enough yet. :huff: Still dont agree with that but have no choice but to go along with it. Pretty annoyed that I'm missing my final year of school. :sad:
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    dont tend to watch much actual tv really, unless its on the tele, only programme i watch religiously is holyoaks.
    sleep??? whats that you speak of?
    naaaa that wont happen till my boyfriends woken up probably
    Ahh, hollyoaks! I used to watch that but I got sidetracked. I think I'm up to where Will and Ash (i think thats her name) are like on a cliff and he stands up and it's like woaaah.
    It's this imaginary thing that happens once a blue moon!
    Ah fairs.
 
 
 
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