Depression Society MkII Watch

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vapid slut magician
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#6761
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#6761
(Original post by jonathan122)
I wish people around me would just acknowledge my existence. I hate them all so much.
if you don't like them then why do you want them to pay attention to you? you really need to forget about them and just get on with meeting some people you get on with and can have fun with.
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jonathan122
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#6762
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#6762
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
if you don't like them then why do you want them to pay attention to you? you really need to forget about them and just get on with meeting some people you get on with and can have fun with.
Completely agree with you when I'm thinking straight. It's just hard to think straight all the time.

How're you? :hugs:
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blackfish
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#6763
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#6763
(Original post by jonathan122)
I wish people around me would just acknowledge my existence. I hate them all so much.
I know how that feels. For me whenever I go out, I am either ignored... or laughed at... Trying to work out which is worse...
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vapid slut magician
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#6764
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#6764
I cant stop obsessing about suicide. it's not even a mental thing, I feel this urge in my stomach, like I'm going to vomit if I don't hurt myself somehow. Why does that happen? It's so strange. I just cannot cope with my day to day life.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6765
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#6765
(Original post by death.drop)
they're only suggesting what they think is best for you. To be honest it probably would help you get over him quicker. I don't personally think you're doing yourself any favours in the long run by thinking about him all the time (even though I know you can't help it) but if that's what makes you feel best at the moment then carry on. the last thing you need right now is to feel worse. how long has it been since the break up?
all anyone can do is offer their opinion, at it shows that you do have people there who care.
I know they are but it's hard to snap out of it. They might care but they have funny ways of showing it.

As for when we broke-up, it's complicated. We were never officially together in public because of him moving. However it was just me and him from March/April 2008 - August 2008 and between ourselves we said we were together. Then the week before he moved, he slept with someone else and that hurt. But I forgave him because I'm an idiot and because I knew things were ending and he said he was sorry and rang me every 2 hours the next day to make sure I was ok. I also knew that he'd move on once he'd moved.

He moved to Cyprus but we kept in touch every now and then. I felt like he didn't really care though and it was horrible when I'd hear from him because I'd miss him and then he'd go quiet for a couple of weeks, I'd start to feel ok, and then he'd talk again. I told him this last week when he came over and said it hurt and it hurt when he went on about wanting to sleep with me. So things officially went to 'friendship' last week. But that didn't stop the kisses and cuddles right upto Saturday night.

-----------

On another note, Marie Curie said I didn't need to go in today as they didn't need me. Great. Make me feel wanted why don't they. And Mum just made me cry by saying that I'm just feeling sorry for myself and that she can't believe I've crashed yet again and that I'm putting too much strain on the family and that I'm not getting anything for my birthday because I don't deserve anything and don't care anyway. I said that was fine because I don't need or want anything but she said I'm just a lazy *****. Just what I wanted to hear.
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jonathan122
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#6766
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#6766
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I know they are but it's hard to snap out of it. They might care but they have funny ways of showing it.

As for when we broke-up, it's complicated. We were never officially together in public because of him moving. However it was just me and him from March/April 2008 - August 2008 and between ourselves we said we were together. Then the week before he moved, he slept with someone else and that hurt. But I forgave him because I'm an idiot and because I knew things were ending and he said he was sorry and rang me every 2 hours the next day to make sure I was ok. I also knew that he'd move on once he'd moved.

He moved to Cyprus but we kept in touch every now and then. I felt like he didn't really care though and it was horrible when I'd hear from him because I'd miss him and then he'd go quiet for a couple of weeks, I'd start to feel ok, and then he'd talk again. I told him this last week when he came over and said it hurt and it hurt when he went on about wanting to sleep with me. So things officially went to 'friendship' last week. But that didn't stop the kisses and cuddles right upto Saturday night.

-----------

On another note, Marie Curie said I didn't need to go in today as they didn't need me. Great. Make me feel wanted why don't they. And Mum just made me cry by saying that I'm just feeling sorry for myself and that she can't believe I've crashed yet again and that I'm putting too much strain on the family and that I'm not getting anything for my birthday because I don't deserve anything and don't care anyway. I said that was fine because I don't need or want anything but she said I'm just a lazy *****. Just what I wanted to hear.
:hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6767
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#6767
(Original post by jonathan122)
:hugs:
:hugs: back. Thanks. Everything is just so rubbish. Can't be bothered with today but I've got dressed which is more than the past 2 days. How are you?
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vapid slut magician
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#6768
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#6768
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I'm not getting anything for my birthday because I don't deserve anything and don't care anyway. I said that was fine because I don't need or want anything but she said I'm just a lazy *****. Just what I wanted to hear.
when's your birthday? I'm sure people here would be more than willing to chip in and buy you a little something
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vapid slut magician
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#6769
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#6769
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
:hugs: back. Thanks. Everything is just so rubbish. Can't be bothered with today but I've got dressed which is more than the past 2 days. How are you?
I have to go sit with my supervisor and pretend to give a crap about this course or any of the work. I'm having huge trouble concentrating or focussing my thoughts so I don't know how I'll even string sentences together. I'm so sick of it I'm actually considering altering my student profile as having 'mental health difficulties' in the disabilities section and actually getting help for once. I struggled through a 4 year undergrad and refused to ask for help and it was total hell. I might go back to the doctor and get the referal he offered last time I was there. I need a doctors letter to word process my exams anyway because of the nerve damage in my hand after breaking my wrist and need a repeat on my crazy meds.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6770
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#6770
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
when's your birthday? I'm sure people here would be more than willing to chip in and buy you a little something
It's on Saturday and no no, you musn't do that hun! I'd feel really bad. You guys do so much for me already :hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6771
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#6771
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
I have to go sit with my supervisor and pretend to give a crap about this course or any of the work. I'm having huge trouble concentrating or focussing my thoughts so I don't know how I'll even string sentences together. I'm so sick of it I'm actually considering altering my student profile as having 'mental health difficulties' in the disabilities section and actually getting help for once. I struggled through a 4 year undergrad and refused to ask for help and it was total hell. I might go back to the doctor and get the referal he offered last time I was there. I need a doctors letter to word process my exams anyway because of the nerve damage in my hand after breaking my wrist and need a repeat on my crazy meds.
Are you feeling brave? Because I'd tell your supervisor the truth and say that you're struggling to see the point in it. Changing your student profile is a good idea as you'd get support rather and it wouldn't affect your degree. I'd seriously consider it. Just think, it's only a few more months isn't it? What is there to lose? Get the referral too. Get as much help off your doctor as possible. Use the system! Why should people who have colds get loads of help and those of us who are actually ill not get the help? As for the nerve damage, is it permanent? That must really suck I'm sorry :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#6772
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#6772
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
:hugs: back. Thanks. Everything is just so rubbish. Can't be bothered with today but I've got dressed which is more than the past 2 days. How are you?
Not too bad today, except I skipped a lecture which will probably come back to haunt me when exam time comes around, but apart from that I'm ok. :hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6773
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#6773
(Original post by jonathan122)
Not too bad today, except I skipped a lecture which will probably come back to haunt me when exam time comes around, but apart from that I'm ok. :hugs:
One lecture won't matter sugar :hugs:

I'm actually doing ok today. Spoke to my Dad and my Nan. Ended up in tears talking to my Dad because we were talking about towing my car away but it's ok, I've managed to convince him to wait one more week to give me time to see if I can get money for it as scrap. Really upset about it going which is weird because when I got it I didn't want it and cursed it but I have a bond with my car now...he's got me through some rough patches and has been there when I just needed to drive down the dual carriageway at 60mph listening to really loud music! hehe.

Just going to start the job search again....desperate for money now.

Is anyone here on JSA by the way?
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Pocket Calculator
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#6774
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#6774
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I've managed to convince him to wait one more week to give me time to see if I can get money for it as scrap.
Have you not tried to sell it?
Then you'll see it driving round town. Always used to cheer me up knowing that my battered old Golf was still alive!
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jonathan122
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#6775
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#6775
My mood's plummeted massively.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6776
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#6776
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
Have you not tried to sell it?
Then you'll see it driving round town. Always used to cheer me up knowing that my battered old Golf was still alive!
Well because the MOT runs out on 8th Feb and because it's been written off by the insurance company, it's a bit difficult to sell it really! I mean, who wants to buy a car which has been written off?

I'm really annoyed now...my manager at Marie Curie told me not to worry about going in today and now she's telling me that she bought me a birthday cake
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jonathan122
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#6777
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#6777
When is your birthday?
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6778
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#6778
(Original post by jonathan122)
When is your birthday?
Saturday. Normally I'm really excited about my birthday but this year it means nothing. I'm not celebrating it or anything. No point.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#6779
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#6779
God I've missed you guys tonight whilst this site maintenance has been going on! Could have really done with a chat. Tears are streaming due to Gav. EVERYONE says I'm an idiot and that "special friends" means "**** buddies" and that I'm just too naive to realise and that I should just cut him out. But I can't do it. I can't believe what everyone says. But there is no-one in the world who can see it from my point of view which makes me feel so lonely and the odd one out. I'm going to go to bed and hope that I don't wake up in the morning. Because I can't see an end to this pain
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Pocket Calculator
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#6780
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#6780
ha. I've blown it, again. Assuming I hadn't totally blown it before. I wave and cry as I watch yet another chance of me actually obtaining some kind of happy life founder on the rocks and keel over before me.
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