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    Was very excited about getting an item on eBay. I was very good and didn't get my hopes up until I had agreed a price with the seller even! Then, AFTER the seller and I had made an agreement on price, some other person swoops in and gets it! I am so gutted!! I was really looking forward to getting that and so was my boyfriend.

    Seller said they'd contact me if the other buyer falls through or something, but I doubt that will happen. I've gone ahead and compromised my pride to offer a higher bid, if that doesn't work I may even ask the seller to contact the other buyer for me and ask if we can work something out. I really want that stuff!


    Anyway other than that it was still a kinda poor day. First, I failed abysmally at taking my first tablet of the day. I have no idea why but randomly I just couldn't swallow it. So that was embarrassing and after that I felt too sickened by tablets to take the others I'm meant to take for different things. Doesn't matter really but it's a pain and embarrassing.
    Then, I managed to upset my boyfriend in a way I should have know would have upset him. That led to a very awkward situation of me asking if he was okay and why he was upset (hadn't worked it out yet) and him saying "you should know" and that there is a trigger for me! So there he is upset about what I said and there I am upset a) because he is, b) because I don't even know what I did, c) because it brought back memories.

    Long story short, I start crying and our sadness at each other being sad trumps our own sadness leading to some sort of an odd moment of comforting each other (badly on my part I must add- I was a mess!).

    Then, my brother starts being his usually grumpy and shortie self while my bf is too tired do much other than fall asleep on my living room floor (though I was happy he managed to get some sleep at least)

    And then, after getting my hopes up I loose a really good item on eBay!

    Woohoo my day sucked. :/ and that's not even going into all the other things I'm meant to be dealing with etc at the moment.
    I'm feeling unusually wobbly quite often at the moment too and it's got me in rather a sour mood. I sorta want to cry right now...
    I feel so watched at the moment too. Not in the people stalking me sense, but in the sense that everyone I'm around is silently judging me. I'm spending more time at mine now cos I was too bloody awkward to ask my bfs mum for some lunch, but then when I'm at home I've constantly got my mum and brother around watching me and nagging me and ****.
    I just want to curl up in a ball some random place where nobody is around but my boyfriend and my cats. :<


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Was very excited about getting an item on eBay. I was very good and didn't get my hopes up until I had agreed a price with the seller even! Then, AFTER the seller and I had made an agreement on price, some other person swoops in and gets it! I am so gutted!! I was really looking forward to getting that and so was my boyfriend.

    Seller said they'd contact me if the other buyer falls through or something, but I doubt that will happen. I've gone ahead and compromised my pride to offer a higher bid, if that doesn't work I may even ask the seller to contact the other buyer for me and ask if we can work something out. I really want that stuff!


    Anyway other than that it was still a kinda poor day. First, I failed abysmally at taking my first tablet of the day. I have no idea why but randomly I just couldn't swallow it. So that was embarrassing and after that I felt too sickened by tablets to take the others I'm meant to take for different things. Doesn't matter really but it's a pain and embarrassing.
    Then, I managed to upset my boyfriend in a way I should have know would have upset him. That led to a very awkward situation of me asking if he was okay and why he was upset (hadn't worked it out yet) and him saying "you should know" and that there is a trigger for me! So there he is upset about what I said and there I am upset a) because he is, b) because I don't even know what I did, c) because it brought back memories.

    Long story short, I start crying and our sadness at each other being sad trumps our own sadness leading to some sort of an odd moment of comforting each other (badly on my part I must add- I was a mess!).

    Then, my brother starts being his usually grumpy and shortie self while my bf is too tired do much other than fall asleep on my living room floor (though I was happy he managed to get some sleep at least)

    And then, after getting my hopes up I loose a really good item on eBay!

    Woohoo my day sucked. :/ and that's not even going into all the other things I'm meant to be dealing with etc at the moment.
    I'm feeling unusually wobbly quite often at the moment too and it's got me in rather a sour mood. I sorta want to cry right now...
    I feel so watched at the moment too. Not in the people stalking me sense, but in the sense that everyone I'm around is silently judging me. I'm spending more time at mine now cos I was too bloody awkward to ask my bfs mum for some lunch, but then when I'm at home I've constantly got my mum and brother around watching me and nagging me and ****.
    I just want to curl up in a ball some random place where nobody is around but my boyfriend and my cats. :<


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    Hope you feel better soon! Hugs!


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    Hiding in bed waiting on tonights tears as i know there close


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    Gah, nightime. :cry2:
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    keep sleeping loads and I just feel really out of it right now, tied all the time, barely feel able to leave my bed and just feel lonely and bored here.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    No because im currently signed off sick so cant work :/
    Dunno if i can or not dont think ill qualify for it though.
    My mum tends to stay out of it to stop arguments... So yeah its his choice :/

    He knows how to get hold of me he has my number and facebook...
    I did. My dad started an affair because he couldnt handle another child when they found out about me... If i didnt exist my mum and dad might still be together...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Hey Poncho, it is in now way your fault that your parents split up and it's your dad's loss if he doesn't want to talk to you. He may just not want to contact you because he feels bad about leaving or something, but if not, he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve a daughter like you!

    Just because he used not being able to deal with another kid as an excuse it doesn't mean it's true and especially not that it's your fault. a) not your fault you were born, if he couldn't deal with another kid he shouldn't have had one, its his responsibility to deal with his actions and he has failed by being a sucking dad to you. b) if he couldn't deal with another kid there are so many other things he could have done, the fact he chose an affair makes me suspect he may have already been thinking about it. c) even if you weren't born, it would have still happened. It boils down to his and your mums relationship not being strong enough or well matched enough for him to get support from your mother and visa versa. The fact that he chose the comfort of another woman rather than your mum shows that he was not a good enough partner anyway. If it wasn't a baby it could have been anything- a pet, a bill, a demotion at work, even a speck of mud on his shoe! Eventually he will have reached that stress level and come to the same decision to have an affair, etc.
    and d) it may not even have been that, h could have just used it as an excuse to try to better his situation.

    You are a lovely daughter and I'm very sure your mother would prefer you over having your dad back any day!! x


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Hey Poncho, it is in now way your fault that your parents split up and it's your dad's loss if he doesn't want to talk to you. He may just not want to contact you because he feels bad about leaving or something, but if not, he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve a daughter like you!

    Just because he used not being able to deal with another kid as an excuse it doesn't mean it's true and especially not that it's your fault. a) not your fault you were born, if he couldn't deal with another kid he shouldn't have had one, its his responsibility to deal with his actions and he has failed by being a sucking dad to you. b) if he couldn't deal with another kid there are so many other things he could have done, the fact he chose an affair makes me suspect he may have already been thinking about it. c) even if you weren't born, it would have still happened. It boils down to his and your mums relationship not being strong enough or well matched enough for him to get support from your mother and visa versa. The fact that he chose the comfort of another woman rather than your mum shows that he was not a good enough partner anyway. If it wasn't a baby it could have been anything- a pet, a bill, a demotion at work, even a speck of mud on his shoe! Eventually he will have reached that stress level and come to the same decision to have an affair, etc.
    and d) it may not even have been that, h could have just used it as an excuse to try to better his situation.

    You are a lovely daughter and I'm very sure your mother would prefer you over having your dad back any day!! x


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    Well said!! 100% agree! You are a lovely person poncho!


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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Anyway other than that it was still a kinda poor day. First, I failed abysmally at taking my first tablet of the day. I have no idea why but randomly I just couldn't swallow it. So that was embarrassing and after that I felt too sickened by tablets to take the others I'm meant to take for different things. Doesn't matter really but it's a pain and embarrassing.Posted from TSR Mobile
    Sorry to hear your day didn't go so well. I hate when someone else swoops in on ebay, especially when they do it right at the end so you can't outbid them.

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one here who struggles with taking pills. You'd think I'd be used to it by now (at one point I was on 18 per day) but every so often I choke and almost throw up (or even actually puke). Nice.
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    (Original post by bananaterracottapie)
    thank you that's really helpful advice definitely have been looking into playing tennis so hopefully once that starts that will be a good opportunity to get to know people and practice. i've tried befre with psychologists and it hasn't really worked out...although saying that i only gave it a go for two sessions and at the time i wasn't really having much social interaction so it was difficult to give examples...especially as unfortunately the whole mind blanking thing didn't exempt psychologists...but doing activities definitely sounds like a good idea and maybe once i've tried getting involved in a few ill try with a psychologist again so long as i feel im making some kind of progress... hope you are doing well anyway tonight, and thanks again for the advice!
    I'm glad to have helped

    Yeah I know what you mean with the psychologist. When I saw one a few years ago I rarely left my room nevermind talked to people so I could never put his advice into practice so it wasn't really helpful. But now I'm going out a lot more so there's opportunities to try things out and that's what really helps me get better at it.

    Good luck with the tennis, that sounds like a perfect opportunities to get some social skills practice in.
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    Of course my laptop has to break the day before I leave for holiday :cry: means I can't go on holiday now and was going to be our last ever family holiday

    Such a little thing has just really pushed me over the edge and now I just want to cry :cry: feel so pathetic


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    (Original post by Sarah')
    Of course my laptop has to break the day before I leave for holiday :cry: means I can't go on holiday now and was going to be our last ever family holiday

    Such a little thing has just really pushed me over the edge and now I just want to cry :cry: feel so pathetic


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    do you know what's wrong with it? maybe someone you know can help!? surely the laptop shouldn't mean you can't go?! :console:

    it's okay, when you feel down it really can be anything that pushes you to tears and stuff :hugs:
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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    do you know what's wrong with it? maybe someone you know can help!? surely the laptop shouldn't mean you can't go?! :console:

    it's okay, when you feel down it really can be anything that pushes you to tears and stuff :hugs:
    It's the laptop bit where you plug the charger in. Battery is okay and the charger is okay, so it's the little port thingy which means it'll have to be sent for repair and I won't get it back before holiday . I've got a lot of stuff that I need to do before I go back to uni - stuff I can only do on my laptop which means I either pick going back to uni or my holiday :cry:

    I can't even sleep because I'm feeling so s**t :cry:


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    (Original post by Sarah')
    It's the laptop bit where you plug the charger in. Battery is okay and the charger is okay, so it's the little port thingy which means it'll have to be sent for repair and I won't get it back before holiday . I've got a lot of stuff that I need to do before I go back to uni - stuff I can only do on my laptop which means I either pick going back to uni or my holiday :cry:

    I can't even sleep because I'm feeling so s**t :cry:


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    ah no, that's a pain! my mums laptop broke the same way :/ is there no chance it might be back in time or that you can borrow someone else's laptop on the holiday?

    it's okay, hopefully you can sort something out! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Sorry to hear your day didn't go so well. I hate when someone else swoops in on ebay, especially when they do it right at the end so you can't outbid them.

    I'm so glad I'm not the only one here who struggles with taking pills. You'd think I'd be used to it by now (at one point I was on 18 per day) but every so often I choke and almost throw up (or even actually puke). Nice.
    I've only just started with ebay and already i'm starting to hate it. XD

    Thatnks. That makes me feel less embarassed about it. What made it so bad is that I was with my bf and on the phone to my brother at the time :P

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    #34

    I'm annoyed. I'm so stupid sometimes. My parents don't know I am depressed, although a bit odd considering everything I've done etc. But anyway, so they're anti - their kids having any sort of MH problem. So when something happened they kind of glossed over it, or made fun and joked about it.
    Anyway, I was put in contact with the people who would do cbt, and i didn't realise they'd be sending letters home. Obviously I can have a c/o address but I don't have anyone so in my area/ who's close that could do that. So I basically had to say no as I live at home and they open my letters.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm annoyed. I'm so stupid sometimes. My parents don't know I am depressed, although a bit odd considering everything I've done etc. But anyway, so they're anti - their kids having any sort of MH problem. So when something happened they kind of glossed over it, or made fun and joked about it.
    Anyway, I was put in contact with the people who would do cbt, and i didn't realise they'd be sending letters home. Obviously I can have a c/o address but I don't have anyone so in my area/ who's close that could do that. So I basically had to say no as I live at home and they open my letters.
    Surely they can't open your letters?? I would say don't say no because it could really help. Your health should come first


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    #40

    So I had my first GP appt this morning for house-binding social anxiety, some paranoia and OCD features apparently too she said, as well as the customary depression. Let out everything that I've pent up IRL over the last 6 years. They ended up giving me a prescription for Citalopram. I questioned her a lot about what I'd read about meds and how they seemed to rarely have positive effects and often had negative side-effects, but she brushed this off as a lot of people who don't really need it having bad reactions accordingly and none of them being clinically confirmed. I wonder what anyone's thoughts are on this view?

    If anyone has any experience with Citalopram or generally what it does that would also be useful, and whether there is much point in me trying it for the next month before I go to uni and get counselling which I have more faith in.

    Thanks.
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    Have to play at being a normal person again today and i still dont even know if iv got extenuating circs from uni


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I had my first GP appt this morning for house-binding social anxiety, some paranoia and OCD features apparently too she said, as well as the customary depression. Let out everything that I've pent up IRL over the last 6 years. They ended up giving me a prescription for Citalopram. I questioned her a lot about what I'd read about meds and how they seemed to rarely have positive effects and often had negative side-effects, but she brushed this off as a lot of people who don't really need it having bad reactions accordingly and none of them being clinically confirmed. I wonder what anyone's thoughts are on this view?

    If anyone has any experience with Citalopram or generally what it does that would also be useful, and whether there is much point in me trying it for the next month before I go to uni and get counselling which I have more faith in.

    Thanks.
    I was on citalopram for about 7 months and the only side effects i got was struggle sleeping and constant yawning because it made me so tired.
    It was helping the depression side of my MH stuff. It is worth sticking with it to see if it helps you individually


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    I noticed that I didnt take my med yesterday and feel a little better today than I have in weeks Obviously I dont feel like jumping about but I dont feel dry eyed anymore and got up a bit easier
 
 
 
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