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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    Aw chook, not true at all. :no: Am around if talking would help? :console: My inbox is always open. :hugs:
    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sorry for the late response - got dragged to the gym :sadnod: Am back home at laptop now if PMing would help :console:
    (Original post by moment of truth)
    :console:

    Can PM if you need :jumphug:
    thank you guys don't knwo what to say but thank you so much. brains all over the place. hope you#re all ok though :grouphugs:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Exams aren't the end of the world, you're going to get through this. Talk to someone at uni, tell them what's going on and see if you can come up with an action plan with them.
    thanks. trying not to think about it :emo: too tired to keep doing this
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    so weak and fragile. thinking of just shutting the curtain and going to bed
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    Foods

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    making some fresh bread to help pursuade me to snack more, even if its just having a slice of toast, i guess its better than nothing.
    Made noodles and tuna earlier and making a curry for tea so thats 2 meals in one day!



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    cant stpo crying
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    cant stpo crying
    :penguinhug:
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    (Original post by superwolf)
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    Just cos it's all in your head, doesn't mean it's not important or serious. :hugs:

    I'm doing alright thanks - focussing on my arts and crafts for now.
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    That sounds fun! Look after yourself :hugs:
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    Have an essay due for tomorrow that I can write easily but it has a two page limit on it while I could happily do around 5 pages. Might widen the margins slightly.
    Today has gone well, did some work in the library this morning followed by more work in the cafe/bar and now back in the library doing work since the bar is now actually a bar and not just serving coffee and letting people revise on the comfy chairs. Probably going to head there earlier tomorrow. Library isn't working so well since I have to type the essay up and the sofa has a low back which keeps annoying me.
    I just realised how fussy that sounds but it's annoying because it was going so well earlier. Going back to my room to finish up there. Added bonus that my room contains snacks and no other people working and looking stressed. There's a girl who I've seen in the library every day since last thursday in the same place working on her laptop. She looks exhausted. I don't think she's actually left the library since yesterday.
    Right plan for tonight is to finish up this essay and maybe make some notes on ethics if I get bored.
    Tomorrow I start to tackle neuro because I have done none since Easter and it's actually the biggest subject in terms of marks this year. Decided to consider neuro and psych as two subjects since then I know the weighting of the paper is 2/3 neuro 1/3 psych and also it's doesn't seem like ~75 lectures worth of information that I have an exam on in two weeks. I will have it done by then because I do know it and just need to get the details sorted. Also some pharmacology on Thursday/Friday because it's good to mix it up a bit.
    My therapist said I should talk more positively about the revision I'm going to do before my exams and not to use words like 'need to' and 'complete disaster' because there negative. Still now into cramming time and I know how to cram for exams so it will be fine.
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    tired of not being good enough
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    I don't know if I can do this tomorrow I suddenly feel like I know nothing and my chest hurts


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    Evening guys How are you doing?

    I've got 40/50 in today's exam, so 80% :woo:. To be fair I was confident in it, but the mistakes I made were the bits I should have revised, and had noticed on the mock that they were an issue.
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    So sick of myself. I set myself up to try and live a normal life but half of it is obligations I don't even want and the rest is just doomed to failure. I just can't cope long term and I push myself to the bone only to lose it all time and again. I am lonely but can't bear the thought of trying to go out and meet people and don't have the mental energy to do it. Everything is contradictory and confusing. I want to be with people but I feel too worthless and abhorrent to have the cheek of inflicting my company on anyone. O feel like going to work is a big con trick because I am a useless piece of **** and I am just going to get found out.

    I know enough that I have to resist the urges for oblivion and recklessness but the alternative is just quiet suffering and isolation. My mind is shot.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    cant stpo crying
    :loveduck:

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    tired of not being good enough
    who said that lovely? Not true at all. :lovehug:
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    Gonna commit myself to yoga over the next month. Think it will help keep me calm in the lead up to exams.
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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    :loveduck:



    who said that lovely? Not true at all. :lovehug:
    thanks hun. no one as such but just feeling im not good enough and no one would care if I disappeared etc. may be irrational but idk
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    thanks hun. no one as such but just feeling im not good enough and no one would care if I disappeared etc. may be irrational but idk
    we would all definitely care if you disappeared :hugs:


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    Having a rare bit of positivity about everything, just here thinking 'yeah, I want to be alive, I can do this!'. Don't know why it's come about suddenly but hoping that at least a part of it will last, or I'll remember it at least next time I'm really struggling.

    Realised that these exams really don't actually matter, yes it would be nice to do well in them and get into the uni I want to but I know I can go to my insurance and other places with the grades I have so it's not the end of the world if they go wrong. I still have no idea how I'm going to get through uni with health stuff going on, but going to give it a go whatever happens in September so at least I know I've tried and can work from there. In the mean time I guess I just need to get as well as I can and try and be vaguely prepared mentally even if I can't be physically.

    Still worried about family stuff and other things going on, but it's manageable and I'll get through it.

    I should probably save this post somewhere to look at again sometime I'm not feeling great again. Not even sure why I'm posting it, possibly just so it's somewhere definite, so sorry if anyone has felt like they had to read it! Wish this happened every time I'm this desperate for sleep but can't have everything I suppose


    Hope everyone's alright :grouphugs:


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    Poorly panda :sadpanda:


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    Sorry for being so useless lately guys. Hope you're all ok.

    (Original post by avhhs)
    Evening guys How are you doing?

    I've got 40/50 in today's exam, so 80% :woo:. To be fair I was confident in it, but the mistakes I made were the bits I should have revised, and had noticed on the mock that they were an issue.
    Well done!

    ---------------

    Does anyone know what a lead professional is? Because the lady I saw yesterday said that she's my lead professional...Is it basically the same as a care co? What's the difference?

    I'm getting really frustrated with this ED ****. Don't know how to make them take me seriously, they don't seem to view it as a problem.
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    Only thing I can think of is get smaller. But I'm already in kids clothes/UK6. I look like a child. Friends are always joking that I look like a 12 year old. :facepalm: It's embarrassing. I mean I know part of me wants to look like a child so people will protect me or something, but then the other part is like..no, I'm 21, I need to be an adult now - but that's just scary. I just want to recover from this ****, but they won't help me. So frustrated, I don't know what to do.
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    Hadn't realised just how much my meds help me sleep. Ran out of some of them just figured since it's just the ones that help me sleep it would be fine. I had maybe three hours sleep last night? Getting more today.
 
 
 
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