Depression Society MkII Watch

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vapid slut magician
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#7081
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#7081
Why can't I put it down if I think it's useless and unhelpful? I'm not obliged to agree with you just because you're depressed. You can't just use that as an excuse for everything 'don't express your opinion because I'm depressed', that's just ridiculous.

CBT just pathologizes fairly normal reactions to outside stimulus and I think that's what's unhealthy, not the existing thoughts. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like **** because you feel you didn't do well at something, there's a reason those emotions exist, it's an evolutionary imperative to better yourself and try to come out on top. If you were satisfied with everything you did then that wouldn't happen and you'd never try to better yourself or improve your life.

Conversely you shouldn't feel proud of 'achieving' things that are underrated, lame, or that you didn't deserve. I'll never let myself be proud of my degree because I know it was luck and that I didn't deserve what I got. That's a justified reason because I know how hard people worked for their degrees and I sat on my ass drunk watching South Park and getting arrested. Also until I lose weight there's no point being proud of a qualification if I can't do something simple like eat less and exercise more. They're huge flaws in my character and failings as me as a person and there's nothing constructive about being told otherwise when I know a therapist is apt to just lie to me and patronize me to try to stop me from killing myself.
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Laus
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#7082
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#7082
I'm considering CBT, but I don't want to settle for a ****** life. I agree that there's nothing wrong with expressing your emotions. Does CBT stifle your emotions, then? I have a friend who had years of therapy and CBT and she is doing really well now. She still has problems but she isn't cripplingly depressed and she is a lot more confident and outgoing. I do think we need stress, disappointments and setbacks to do well in life. It seems that both therapy and antidepressants numb you somewhat. I think it's good if it stops you from killing yourself or feeling constantly anxious and hopeless, but not so good if it sucks the life out of you (which I sometimes think they do).

I think obtaining a first from Cambridge is more admirable than losing weight. I don't admire people for losing tons of weight because it's usually done for all the wrong reasons. If it's because you want to look and feel healthy and because you know it will make you happier in yourself, then that's fine. Losing weight to look like a celebrity you admire is pretty lame though. I'm not saying that's what you want to do, but a lot of young people today just want to lose weight to be like 'everyone else'. I'm the biggest I've ever been, and I'm not happy. I know if I wasn't on antidepressants I wouldn't be fat. But I'm to blame as well. Which is why I'm joining a gym!
vapid slut magician
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#7083
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#7083
Yeah I'm sure anti deps don't help. Plus the pill as well. Everything I take is apt to make me fat. It's not much of an excuse though. I'm fat because I'm lazy and useless and eat like a disgusting fat pig.
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Pocket Calculator
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#7084
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#7084
Screw GPs and all that crap. You need to talk to some actual human beings about it. Do you have any good friends where you are?
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Origin of the pancake
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#7085
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#7085
(Original post by Laus)
Hey guys,

How is everyone? I'm home for a while, came back yesterday. It's nice to be back but it's difficult, at the same time. Both mum and dad are struggling, but I'm astounded at my mum's optimism and strength - she seems quite happy and content, which is great. My parents are closer, which is also great; I don't want to intrude! But mum has made it clear that I wouldn't be. Dad is having to get lots of tests as he has been poorly too. Perhaps having me around will lighten the load. I think taking a leave of absence is possibly the right thing to do, though I'm still in two minds about it. I spoke to the provost and I received an email from a second-year who took leave of absence in her second-year. Her situation was terrible but she came back feeling a lot better and felt more able to get involved and she is doing well. She said she wishes she took it in the first year. But anyway, she was very encouraging and has been a big help. I will reply to her later today.

I emailed a cattery asking if they had any jobs. They said they had some part-time work going but that might not be suited to my needs. Well, in actual fact, PT is probably what's best for me at the moment, and I can always get another job if I'm running low on cash. So I'm going to send in my CV when I've made a definite decision.

If I do take LOA, I'll miss some of the friends I've made tremendously. Even though I ****** up again this term and they've kept their distance, I know they are still friends, and I can see that time is, indeed, a healer. I will definitely keep in touch with them and will try to see them next year if that's possible.

As an aside, my doctor said that any antidepressant can take up to three months to work properly. So there is still hope.

How are you all?

:hugs:
Dont worry about getting in the way, im sure your family are grateful to have you there :yep: And it is amazing how brave and strong people can be when they are going through unbelievable times, i thought that

(Original post by vapid slut magician)
x
:hugs: Its so sad you feel like that, but you arent pathetic and shouldnt hate yourself :no: Sorry, im rubbish at helping :redface:

Im in such an apathetic mood today, i feel numb and lacking in life
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vapid slut magician
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#7086
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#7086
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
Screw GPs and all that crap. You need to talk to some actual human beings about it. Do you have any good friends where you are?
I don't want to talk to anyone about it. And I'm talking here so what's the difference?
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Pocket Calculator
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#7087
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#7087
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
I don't want to talk to anyone about it. And I'm talking here so what's the difference?
Well if you're talking to people on here then you must want to talk to people about it.

Talking in person is always better.
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kiss_me_now9
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#7088
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#7088
VSM :console: I suppose talking here is better than nothing.

Laus, I'm glad that you feel a bit better now you're home. I think part time work is the best - full time just gets oppresive, and if you don't need to do full time, then why do it? Definatly keep in touch with the friends you've made, they might not realise how you're doing until you take a LOA.

DL, :hugs:

I feel **** today, I haven't got up before 1 yet this week, I've consequently missed all my lectures apart from three and I feel so strongly now that going home is the best answer... I think I might just ditch uni after I get my BRC cert. in April. Screw the summer term, I can get a head start on finding a job back home, and do my duties with the BRC there...
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Origin of the pancake
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#7089
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#7089
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
VSM :console: I suppose talking here is better than nothing.

Laus, I'm glad that you feel a bit better now you're home. I think part time work is the best - full time just gets oppresive, and if you don't need to do full time, then why do it? Definatly keep in touch with the friends you've made, they might not realise how you're doing until you take a LOA.

DL, :hugs:

I feel **** today, I haven't got up before 1 yet this week, I've consequently missed all my lectures apart from three and I feel so strongly now that going home is the best answer... I think I might just ditch uni after I get my BRC cert. in April. Screw the summer term, I can get a head start on finding a job back home, and do my duties with the BRC there...
:hugs: Can you get to sleep at night?

It probably is better to go home, if you leave earlier than summer at least you arent fighting with other uni people who come back for summer work so more chance of getting a job?
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kiss_me_now9
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#7090
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#7090
Not really, I went to bed about 2 last night and I ended up reading the second half of Death of a Salesman because I couldn't get to sleep, finally went off about half 3/4 ish? I'm getting more and more vivid/freaky dreams these days as well Last night I dreamt a cat was sat on my chest - And I could feel her sat there, hear her purring and was stroking her fur. Eventually she got up and there was a man in my bathroom, but no-one would believe me :redface:
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Origin of the pancake
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#7091
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#7091
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Not really, I went to bed about 2 last night and I ended up reading the second half of Death of a Salesman because I couldn't get to sleep, finally went off about half 3/4 ish? I'm getting more and more vivid/freaky dreams these days as well Last night I dreamt a cat was sat on my chest - And I could feel her sat there, hear her purring and was stroking her fur. Eventually she got up and there was a man in my bathroom, but no-one would believe me :redface:
That sounds like a freaky dream, ive never had a dream that vivid, but when i cant sleep my dreams too become stranger. My sleeping pattern sounds a bit like yours, i just cant get my brain to switch off from thinking so end up being awake for hours just lying there. The only way i could get back into some sort of normality was staying up all night and all day and then going to bed about 10 ish waking up at 7, but i felt really terrible that day and slipped out of that pattern over time.

Sucks big time, but your book choice was good, i quite enjoyed death of a salesman
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vapid slut magician
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#7092
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#7092
Well leaving my room has made me feel even worse. Do shops want you to off yourself on Valentine's? M&S was unbearable. There were loads of guys in their buying champagne and food and flowers and stuff. Being single on Valentine's is actually the universal symbol for being too awful for any other human to want. I actually can't take it.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7093
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#7093
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
It's surprising how anti-social it is for a society... I only really know the names of a few people (the guys who run it, and the people I sit with!) When it started in Sept. there were easily 100 people there - Now there's about 30 regulars. I really enjoy it when I'm there, the thought makes me feel slightly sick though. :redface:

I'm now thinking as an action plan - Drop out (Sapphires, how did you go about doing that? I need to find things like that out) after summer term ends i.e don't come back for September, go home, get a job *somehow*, get my driving licence and a little run around, do some first aid duties/extra courses with the Red Cross back at home, go to the local college and get a couple more A levels, then in a few years time when I've got more first aid/health related work experience either apply for the LAS apprenticeship thing or apply for paramedic science at uni.
All I did was e-mail my tutor saying that I was unhappy and thinking about leaving. He replied saying that was fine, if I wanted to see him then e-mail him and if not, just e-mail him with my final decision. Then I went to the undergraduate administration office and they said to just e-mail them saying I was withdrawing. Some departments make you fill in a form though but mine didn't. Once I'd decided the date on which I was going to leave I went to accommodation and told them that I was withdrawing from the university. They gave me a piece of paper and then on the day I left I handed my keys back to Parkwood Reception and e-mailed my tutor and departmental administrator saying that I had left. Few weeks later I got a letter confirming my withdrawal and now I'm back home. It was really scary at the time but I'm glad I did it. I've started reading my marketing textbooks and it just reinforces my decision to leave

Feeling pretty rubbish today. Lots of reasons why but I won't bore you all. How is everyone? :hugs:
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kiss_me_now9
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#7094
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#7094
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
Well leaving my room has made me feel even worse. Do shops want you to off yourself on Valentine's? M&S was unbearable. There were loads of guys in their buying champagne and food and flowers and stuff. Being single on Valentine's is actually the universal symbol for being too awful for any other human to want. I actually can't take it.
I hate Valentines day, it's just an excuse for people who have found someone to share their lives with to rub it in the face of everyone else. Take comfort in the idea that guys who buy things on the 13th of February are probably only doing the valentines thing for one reason, and one reason only - What they can get out of their girl tomorrow night! I'm not planning on leaving my room much between now and tomorrow though.

Mmm, DoaS is really good, I really enjoyed reading it Makes a change, normally I hate books I have to read for uni/school!

My flatmate said that I could probably go out with his little group tonight, but tbh, I can not be bothered to get myself showered, changed, made up and smiley for a night out with people I barely know - You just know that anyone who's single and desperate is going to be going for anything they can get tonight, and I don't want any attention.
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vapid slut magician
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#7095
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#7095
I need to find something to do tonight. I'll probably parasuicide if I stay in.
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becki08
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#7096
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#7096
You have every right to say what you think of it and I'm not asking you not to express your opinion because I'm depressed. I was asking you nicely whether you would mind not expressing it to me as I feel like this is the last hope for me and putting it down is taking my hope away. Of course you're not obliged to agree, and you've said your opinion and I was happy to listen, but I really would appreciate it if you'd stop putting it down. If you don't agree with it fine, you're not being forced to have it, but please don't make it sound useless for everyone.

CBT does not pathologise reactions. It doesn't say what is right or wrong, just encourages positive productive thinking. It doesn't say you have to be satisfied in yourself, just helps you to change that unsatisfaction into a better way of thinking. Rather than becoming depressed and therefore likely to give up on something, it helps you to think more positively so you're more likely to try again etc.

The message I'm getting from you is that I should hate myself and never think good of myself. That's what I think at the moment and I'm not sure whether you're meaning to reinforce that idea or not.

(Original post by vapid slut magician)
Why can't I put it down if I think it's useless and unhelpful? I'm not obliged to agree with you just because you're depressed. You can't just use that as an excuse for everything 'don't express your opinion because I'm depressed', that's just ridiculous.

CBT just pathologizes fairly normal reactions to outside stimulus and I think that's what's unhealthy, not the existing thoughts. There's absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like **** because you feel you didn't do well at something, there's a reason those emotions exist, it's an evolutionary imperative to better yourself and try to come out on top. If you were satisfied with everything you did then that wouldn't happen and you'd never try to better yourself or improve your life.

Conversely you shouldn't feel proud of 'achieving' things that are underrated, lame, or that you didn't deserve. I'll never let myself be proud of my degree because I know it was luck and that I didn't deserve what I got. That's a justified reason because I know how hard people worked for their degrees and I sat on my ass drunk watching South Park and getting arrested. Also until I lose weight there's no point being proud of a qualification if I can't do something simple like eat less and exercise more. They're huge flaws in my character and failings as me as a person and there's nothing constructive about being told otherwise when I know a therapist is apt to just lie to me and patronize me to try to stop me from killing myself.
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becki08
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#7097
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#7097
(Original post by Laus)
I'm considering CBT, but I don't want to settle for a ****** life. I agree that there's nothing wrong with expressing your emotions. Does CBT stifle your emotions, then? I have a friend who had years of therapy and CBT and she is doing really well now. She still has problems but she isn't cripplingly depressed and she is a lot more confident and outgoing. I do think we need stress, disappointments and setbacks to do well in life. It seems that both therapy and antidepressants numb you somewhat. I think it's good if it stops you from killing yourself or feeling constantly anxious and hopeless, but not so good if it sucks the life out of you (which I sometimes think they do).
Laus, CBT doesn't stifle your emotions at all or numb you at all.
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bete noire
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#7098
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#7098
Uh, I started seeing the counsellor at uni. I have to see her six more times. What am I to expect from this?
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Origin of the pancake
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#7099
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#7099
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Feeling pretty rubbish today. Lots of reasons why but I won't bore you all. How is everyone? :hugs:
Aww, :hugs: I wouldnt be bored if you wanted to tell them

Im ok, just numb in a bubble feeling
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vapid slut magician
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#7100
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#7100
(Original post by bete noire)
Uh, I started seeing the counsellor at uni. I have to see her six more times. What am I to expect from this?
6 hours of being patronized by someone too stupid to become a doctor?
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