Depression Society MkII Watch

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becki08
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#7161
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#7161
Leaves hugs for everyone :hugs:
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jonathan122
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#7162
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#7162
(Original post by becki08)
Leaves hugs for everyone :hugs:
:hugs:

Hope you're ok becki.
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vapid slut magician
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#7163
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#7163
(Original post by samba)
Would do if i didnt give a crap.
you're weird
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samba
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#7164
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#7164
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
you're weird
So are you, but that's life. Wanna stop trading barbs?
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Pocket Calculator
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#7165
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#7165
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
me too. im so sick of seeing ugly couples- how did they get someone while I'm single?
haha. i know. i honestly can't see how some people manage to become so happy through so little effort.
what a load o' **** today was. i actually had plans for valentines this time too. and still managed to **** them up. i don't know what to do anymore. dear god i hope a job in canada gives me the chance to sort my life out, since it's the only chance i have left.
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vapid slut magician
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#7166
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#7166
yeah I had plans to kill myself but then I was too busy at gymnastics.

oh god it's so early. Stupid getting up for trampolining.
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Laus
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#7167
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#7167
:hugs: vsm, I hope it goes well today.

I'm going bed, haven't slept in ages.
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#7168
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#7168
Ginger wine is really nice.
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looosey
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#7169
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#7169
Hi, I've never posted here before, but it seems like a friendly place to vent.

After briefly feeling better, depression has taken over my life again. I've just been started on Citalopram, which is making me feel pretty dreadful physically, but I'm sure that will pass in a week or two. Meanwhile, I'm wondering how the rest of you get by without relying too heavily on the support of others? I know my family and boyfriend don't see me as a burden, but I feel like one anyway, and there is little I hate more than feeling needy!
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fire2burn
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#7170
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Thought i'd apply to join the society and in the mean time post here... really need somewhere to vent at the moment because things are low.

I'm back to seeing a psychologist at the hospital again due to self harm this time they're trying dialectical behavioural therapy after CBT stopped working for me. I'm completely all over the shop at the moment in the last week i've been to hospital once for an overdose and another time due to cutting, but this weekend everything hit the rocks. Last night my university room was burgled and they stole several things of high sentimental value to me. When I came back everything had been trashed, they'd been through all my drawers and cupboards completely trespassing in my personal space. I feel like a prisoner in my own home now, I can't leave my room as I still have no way of securing it after the door was badly damaged. It's like i'm completely freaking out and I cant do anything, I cant leave... I'm stuck here. I've tried nightline and things like that but the temptation to harm is just to much I feel like everything is swallowing me up. I've got university deadlines to deal with along with this burglary and persistent feeling of emptiness, it's like i'm going backwards.

Bah sorry for ranting, probably just wound you all up now.
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jonathan122
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(Original post by fire2burn)
Thought i'd apply to join the society and in the mean time post here... really need somewhere to vent at the moment because things are low.

I'm back to seeing a psychologist at the hospital again due to self harm this time they're trying dialectical behavioural therapy after CBT stopped working for me. I'm completely all over the shop at the moment in the last week i've been to hospital once for an overdose and another time due to cutting, but this weekend everything hit the rocks. Last night my university room was burgled and they stole several things of high sentimental value to me. When I came back everything had been trashed, they'd been through all my drawers and cupboards completely trespassing in my personal space. I feel like a prisoner in my own home now, I can't leave my room as I still have no way of securing it after the door was badly damaged. It's like i'm completely freaking out and I cant do anything, I cant leave... I'm stuck here. I've tried nightline and things like that but the temptation to harm is just to much I feel like everything is swallowing me up. I've got university deadlines to deal with along with this burglary and persistent feeling of emptiness, it's like i'm going backwards.

Bah sorry for ranting, probably just wound you all up now.
Hi, :hugs:

Feel free to post whatever you like. We're all here to support and help each other.

I'm sorry things are so bad at the moment. Are uni being supportive?
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fire2burn
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(Original post by jonathan122)
Hi, :hugs:

Feel free to post whatever you like. We're all here to support and help each other.

I'm sorry things are so bad at the moment. Are uni being supportive?
One of my lecturers is horrible about it, he along with my previous GP don't believe in 'head myths'. So when I recently had to take time off for a brief in patient assessment he flipped out and kept demanding why I couldn't reschedule my appointment. I've filed a complaint with the disabilities officer at the uni about the guy though, so hopefully they'll sort him out because I really can't deal with people like that at the moment.

I dont know what I'm allowed to post here so tell me to edit if stuff isn't allowed. But basically I'm cut to shreds at the moment, my arms and legs are just covered in gashes. No doubt they'll be asking serious questions at my next hospital appointment. It was bad enough going in with an overdose, you could just see the disappointment in their eyes. They thought I was making progress and now I'm just falling into a hole. I just can't handle anything at the moment.

Things were **** enough without having my closest possessions stolen.
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jonathan122
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#7173
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(Original post by fire2burn)
One of my lecturers is horrible about it, he along with my previous GP don't believe in 'head myths'. So when I recently had to take time off for a brief in patient assessment he flipped out and kept demanding why I couldn't reschedule my appointment. I've filed a complaint with the disabilities officer at the uni about the guy though, so hopefully they'll sort him out because I really can't deal with people like that at the moment.

I dont know what I'm allowed to post here so tell me to edit if stuff isn't allowed. But basically I'm cut to shreds at the moment, my arms and legs are just covered in gashes. No doubt they'll be asking serious questions at my next hospital appointment. It was bad enough going in with an overdose, you could just see the disappointment in their eyes. They thought I was making progress and now I'm just falling into a hole. I just can't handle anything at the moment.

Things were **** enough without having my closest possessions stolen.
Yeah. some of my lecturers were like that as well. But if you've got the disabilities officer supporting you then that's at least something.

I think most people tend to have setbacks when they're recovering from depression, but the important thing is to remember that it won't always be this way, and even if you have fallen into that hole again, it's going to be a lot easier for you and your doctors to help you out of it this time than before. I think treating depression is to a large extent trial and error - they've found some treatments don't work for you, but that will make it easier to find the ones that do work.

Do you make sure you take care not to seriously hurt yourself when you self-harm? :hugs:
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fire2burn
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(Original post by jonathan122)
Yeah. some of my lecturers were like that as well. But if you've got the disabilities officer supporting you then that's at least something.

I think most people tend to have setbacks when they're recovering from depression, but the important thing is to remember that it won't always be this way, and even if you have fallen into that hole again, it's going to be a lot easier for you and your doctors to help you out of it this time than before. I think treating depression is to a large extent trial and error - they've found some treatments don't work for you, but that will make it easier to find the ones that do work.

Do you make sure you take care not to seriously hurt yourself when you self-harm? :hugs:
No I take no precautions what so ever, I'll do whatever is available at the time. In the past that's been guzzling paracetamol and sleeping tablets, and when it comes to cutting i'll just grab whatever is near and sharp. I get severe dissociative symptoms at times and come to an hour or so later and have no recollection of what's happened which can be really bad when it comes to self harming. They're not wanting to put me on meds because of my habit in the past of recklessly taking the whole lot in one go.

It's really starting to look like they're going to make me go in patient for a bit which I think will make me a whole lot worse, as it did in the past.
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jonathan122
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#7175
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I feel so incredibly unhappy tonight. Coming back here after spending the weekend at home just reinforces how unhappy Oxford makes me feel.
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jonathan122
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#7176
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#7176
:cry: I haven't felt this bad in ages.
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jonathan122
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#7177
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:cry:
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vapid slut magician
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#7178
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god I've woken up totally anxious and with an awful sense of impending doom. i can't even get out of bed because my room scares me. This is ridiculous, I haven't felt like this in aaaages. And I have a class at 2pm and things to do and it all seems totally unbearable.
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vapid slut magician
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#7179
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#7179
(Original post by fire2burn)

It's really starting to look like they're going to make me go in patient for a bit which I think will make me a whole lot worse, as it did in the past.
can they not just prescribe you your meds in weekly batches? so you just pick up a weeks supply from the pharmacy so you don't have enough to OD on. That's usually how that's dealt with. It seems like maybe a mood stabilizer might help you with the dissociative symptoms. Perhaps you should bring this up at your next hospital appointment.

Sorry to hear about your room, that really sucks.
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*pink_sapphires*
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Hi fire2burn I'm so sorry to hear about your uni room. Do you have any idea who did it? Are the uni being supportive? :hugs:

VSM, you still have a couple of hours before your 2pm class. What about your room scares you?

Jonathan, sorry I wasn't around for you last night :hugs: How are you feeling this morning? Like you said...not long left there now :hugs:

----------------------------

I'm really struggling today. Don't see the point in anything. My Nan is here and we've spent 2 hours trying to find something to do but I just don't see the point in any of it. I don't want to go out for lunch because eating makes me ill, I don't want to go shopping as I don't need anything and I have no need for new clothes as I have nowhere to wear them to and I don't like window shopping because it just depresses me. And then I've got two weirdos after me and I don't want either of them after me and I overheard my Mum telling my Nan that she spoke to my manager at Marie Curie who told her about me and Gavin and now my Mum is accussing me of being sly and wanting to go in my safe because she thinks I'm hiding things from her. Just want to get away from here. I need a job but I'm too scared to ask people if there are any vacancies and too scared to apply if there are. I'm just a pathetic loser who should be locked up.
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