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    (Original post by SciFiRory)
    head is all over the place today, so sick of misreading/misunderstanding things so much, just leaves me feeling like I can't function as a human being

    on top of that I think I am sinking really low again, yesterday I felt so flat and empty again, not felt that low for a while, it scares me, I don't want to find myself in that place again
    1 more week and you wont need to be scared anymore :lovehug:


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    (Original post by -FireFlies-)
    Thanks just hope it's worth it.. I hope I get out the other side better than now tbh.




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    I'm sure it will be. I hope it all works out for you!
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    tired, wound up over nothing, just feel stressed and now my hands are just not doing what I want them to and I keep getting confused as well, urgh, I really hate this ****, im just a mess.
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    Flashback on train on my own not very good. At Nut.'s now. Still feeling quite aftermath-****ty but bit better. Just bleh.

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    I have no energy and spent my time worrying and feeling down. My family will come back soon, thus I had to clean up the house (alone, as usual). Well, I have to admit, only did the necessary stuff. Exams are near and despite being supported by my team, I rather begin to cry/try to think of, what I am able to do later. (So far, I haven't found anything.)

    Played with the backs for the first time and did some good tackles. Anybody into playing sports, here?
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    this next week is going to be so ****ing hard i know it is.
    hopefully i get to meet my brand new nephew
    i get to wish my mum happy birthday
    but i know its another week without seeing my boyfriend.

    but then i get to see him, and i cant wait because its not only going to be nice to see him again, but it will be so special as its also our 6 month aniversary. it will be surreal. but hopefully will make me so happy.

    crap also i have to argue with my drs. ahhh ****.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Flashback on train on my own not very good. At Nut.'s now. Still feeling quite aftermath-****ty but bit better. Just bleh.

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    :jumphug: :jumphug: Hope you have a good time with Nut. lovely. Say hi to her for me!
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    (Original post by asdfgah)
    Flashback on train on my own not very good. At Nut.'s now. Still feeling quite aftermath-****ty but bit better. Just bleh.

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    Flashbacks suck, flashbacks in public places really really suck. I hope you're feeling a bit better now



    I'm no longer housesitting on my own! I'm actually in a hotel tonight but my family are home so when I get back it'll be to a houseful of people. YAY!

    I'm being very naughty and having a beer... in bed. It's only one of those cute little bottles, so about 1 unit - hoping it'll combine with my meds to take the edge off that can't-sleep-in-unfamiliar-place, is-this-door-lock-really-secure, what-if-the-night-staff-are-rapist-psychopaths feeling. I really, really need a decent night's sleep.

    I've got an important meeting tomorrow that I need to appear as healthy (mentally and physically) as possible for... I'm really anxious about it, but I've got to not let the anxiety show. Last time I came to one of these I cried, mortifying and set my progress back by months. I've really got to pretend to be strong!
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    Need to cry.
    The tears are there but wont come!

    So emotional atm. And scared


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    (Original post by Nathanielle)
    I have no energy and spent my time worrying and feeling down. My family will come back soon, thus I had to clean up the house (alone, as usual). Well, I have to admit, only did the necessary stuff. Exams are near and despite being supported by my team, I rather begin to cry/try to think of, what I am able to do later. (So far, I haven't found anything.)

    Played with the backs for the first time and did some good tackles. Anybody into playing sports, here?
    Which sport do you play?

    I play ice hockey when I can, it's good fun and definitely good for distracting from unwelcome thoughts.
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    feel so bloody low... suffer from an ED, an anxiety disorder, depression and psychosis.

    My boyfriend told me he was thinking of splitting with me a week ago tomorrow. For the first 2/3 days he'd be telling me he'll speak to me to tell me where i stand, however it'll get to said date (last thursday) and i'll call and be completely ignored. Texts, ignored. Inboxes, ignored. This has gone on til tonight. Eventually he replied at 11pm saying 'sorry i didn't see you, text me'. So i've said okay, and text asking where I stand. Ignored again.

    Completely at a loss as to what to do, I don't deal with stress very well anyway but he's making me feel like i've done something wrong. I can't even text to tell him i wanna break up with him cos he just doesn't reply. I don't know if he'll have read it or not. All i want is to see him in person but every single time i try i end up waiting for hours on end and he doesn't even bother telling me he isn't going to turn up.

    I literally love this kid with all my heart, we've known eachother ages but recently he's just turned and couldnt give a crap about me. He's under a lot of stress, which he gave as a reason for not bothering to see me. But how can I make him realise he's killing me by just leaving me waiting? If i was more well equipped to deal with these situations it'd not be half as bad but I'm terrified of losing people and hate not knowing what's going on.
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    Hey guys, been a busy few days for me!

    Will be going to Uni exactly 2 weeks today, quite nervous but also excited about it all! First shot at independent living?

    How is everyone?

    Will check back tomorrow
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    The tears came.
    Never gets easier crying in front of my boyfriend, even when its not in person.

    Just feel even more pathetic and useless :cry2:

    Told him to go back to sleep as i woke him up


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    Feeling pretty low and my anxiety is on another level. So frustrating but I have to wait another 11 days before I move back to uni and sign up with GP. So I can restart the process of trying to get some help.


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    Going home later today. Couldn't come sooner!
    My friend is getting really irritable and basically just complaing about whatever I do (she's sulking atm cos i've been in bed for a half hour past the alarm she set), I can't do anything cos of this bloody heat rash! Going outside makes it worse but I have no choice today since we don't have the room past 12, i'm feeling increasingly down and just not bothered and all I want is a hug from my bf to calm me down. I miss him
    I feel bad for making my friend annoyed but at the same time i'm like well deal with it. I don't have to do everything you do. I've already done that for a week!

    Just one more day then I get to see my bf. That's all I need to think about.


    Hope everyone's okay x

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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Going home later today. Couldn't come sooner!
    My friend is getting really irritable and basically just complaing about whatever I do (she's sulking atm cos i've been in bed for a half hour past the alarm she set), I can't do anything cos of this bloody heat rash! Going outside makes it worse but I have no choice today since we don't have the room past 12, i'm feeling increasingly down and just not bothered and all I want is a hug from my bf to calm me down. I miss him
    I feel bad for making my friend annoyed but at the same time i'm like well deal with it. I don't have to do everything you do. I've already done that for a week!

    Just one more day then I get to see my bf. That's all I need to think about.


    Hope everyone's okay x

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    Just keep the thought of seeing your boyfriend in your head, youv done so well to make it through the holiday

    I can completely sympathise missing your boyfriend, but youll get those cuddles soon and youll remember the good bits about the holiday :hugs:


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    Hi all, I've not posted here in ages! Just an update really.

    The past few days/weeks have been extremely rocky for me. On Wednesday I went to the local psychiatric hospital to meet with a lady who helped me fill out my claim form for PIP. I have also begun seeing a mental health nurse on the local perinatal team and she is looking into a possible diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Ever since then every day has been a struggle - I've begun having flashbacks again and after highlighting bits of a BPD workbook that I recognised (ie most of it) I had a huge one and ended up writing my brother's name all over it without realising.

    I have had a few really tough days/nights with my mental health state - the last one meant I had to leave Scott with my partner, go out and phone the crisis team as my thoughts were so cripplingly scary. Unfortunately the crisis team were less than useless; the woman on the other end was so miserable and grouchy, didn't bother to look up my notes so had no idea of my circumstances, fed me loads of generic crap about how it's all normal and I should go for a walk/have a bath/have a cup of tea, and eventually told me that I was being childish. I can only imagine how she would have affected someone who was in an even worse position than I was. I have been told to make a complaint.

    Overall my mental health has seriously degraded to the point where I feel like I should be back in hospital again sometimes. I really don't want to though, but the thought of being there sometimes make me feel a bit calmer. Other times it scares me.

    Scott is doing well - he is 7 weeks old now and started smiling on Thursday. I hate feeling attached to him all the time though and being alone with him makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I do love him a lot though.

    I hope everyone is getting by alright. I'll try and get on here more. I spend a lot of time on my ipad when I'm feeding so there's no reason why I shouldn't.
    • #44
    #44

    :banghead: the guy i trusted with everything is not treating me with respect. I gave him everything i could and it wasn't enough to even make me his girlfriend. I wish i could take everything back. I have only ever loved two guys and both of them have broken my heart. My ex boyfriend is the reason for my mental health issues and i only just got over him. I really cannot stand 3 more years of mental health problems

    feeling incredibly down everytime i think back to how he used me and how i allowed myself to open up to someone who doesnt deserve it all over again
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    (Original post by HmMusic)
    Hi all, I've not posted here in ages! Just an update really.

    The past few days/weeks have been extremely rocky for me. On Wednesday I went to the local psychiatric hospital to meet with a lady who helped me fill out my claim form for PIP. I have also begun seeing a mental health nurse on the local perinatal team and she is looking into a possible diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Ever since then every day has been a struggle - I've begun having flashbacks again and after highlighting bits of a BPD workbook that I recognised (ie most of it) I had a huge one and ended up writing my brother's name all over it without realising.

    I have had a few really tough days/nights with my mental health state - the last one meant I had to leave Scott with my partner, go out and phone the crisis team as my thoughts were so cripplingly scary. Unfortunately the crisis team were less than useless; the woman on the other end was so miserable and grouchy, didn't bother to look up my notes so had no idea of my circumstances, fed me loads of generic crap about how it's all normal and I should go for a walk/have a bath/have a cup of tea, and eventually told me that I was being childish. I can only imagine how she would have affected someone who was in an even worse position than I was. I have been told to make a complaint.

    Overall my mental health has seriously degraded to the point where I feel like I should be back in hospital again sometimes. I really don't want to though, but the thought of being there sometimes make me feel a bit calmer. Other times it scares me.

    Scott is doing well - he is 7 weeks old now and started smiling on Thursday. I hate feeling attached to him all the time though and being alone with him makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I do love him a lot though.

    I hope everyone is getting by alright. I'll try and get on here more. I spend a lot of time on my ipad when I'm feeding so there's no reason why I shouldn't.
    Thanks for the update! The crisis team are notorious for being useless, it's not just you.

    I hope things improve for you soon, you deserve it
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Which sport do you play?

    I play ice hockey when I can, it's good fun and definitely good for distracting from unwelcome thoughts.
    Rugby, and I love it. And yeah it is great to get distracted and I am gratefull for the team I have.

    Icehockey must be really cool, I wanted to try it out at University, but the training is during classes, only in winter and the gear seems to be expensive. Do you have different positions? (Yes, I don't know much.)
 
 
 
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